Irene's POV

"I have feelings for you." I never knew five little words could make such a big impact in my life.

I like her. I really love being around her. I love wrapping my arms around her. I wanted a future with her. I too, have feelings for her. But having feelings isn't enough to be with that person - or am I just afraid? 
 

I knew this wasn't going to work. The fact that I have a boyfriend is enough to say no to her - but why do I feel so wrong for not speaking up? I've seen this type of love being frowned upon by people. I was just thinking about our careers. We are now at the peak and I can't be selfish to the other members of our group.

I have feelings for you Seungwan-ah. 
 

I wish I could tell these words to her. She deserves to hear them but all that came out from my mouth were "I don't know what to say. I'm sorry."

Now I'm inside my hotel room crying my heart out having all these regrets. I wish this decision will make me thank myself for this in the future but for now, I'll cry because I know I broke her heart and that breaks my heart too.

•••••
 

I woke up from my sleep and noticed I fell asleep on the couch. I just stared at the clock which was hanging on the wall across me until it hit 7 am. Now, I really need to get ready. I washed my face to wake myself up and noticed my swelling eyes. I must've cried myself to sleep. 
 

I took my morning coffee still thinking about what happened last night. I wonder how she's feeling right now. I took a last sip from my cup and got ready.

As I walked along the hallway, I stopped in front of Wendy's room hoping she would come out but a different person opened the door for me. It was our manager.

"Joohyun-ssi." Manager oppa said looking surprised. "The members are already at the lobby. Are you waiting for them?"

"Manager oppa, what are you doing at Wendy's room?" I asked in disbelief.

"I was just getting something from the room. Wendy said she left something and wanted me to get it for her." He answered. "Come. They must be waiting for us downstairs."

As we approach the lobby, three silhouettes welcomed us enthusiastically, the morning sun beaming behind them, light leaking from the curtain glass. Coming closer, the faces became clearer. They were Joy, Yeri and Seulgi. Where's Wendy? I didn't dare to ask. I was hoping someone would ask that question so I would know the answer.

"Unnie. Thank god you're here." Seulgi said as if I was late. "Now there's only one person to wait for." She said with a deep sigh.

"Oh we don't have to wait for her anymore." Manager oppa said. "She took an earlier flight because she said something came up."

There's my answer. Of course, she did. Why would she want to see me, right?

•••••
 

It was raining when we arrived home. We went inside and immediately went to our respective bedrooms. I noticed that Seulgi was just standing in front of their bedroom door thinking it was locked.

"Seungwan-ah." I heard her calling as I was just in front of my bedroom door. "Can you open up for me?" She pleaded. Suddenly I heard unlicking sounds coming from their door knob. I waited for Seungwan to peek outside but not a single strand of hair can be seen.

"Are you alright Seungwan?" I heard Seulgi's faint voice as she enters the room. There were murmurs coming from them but I can no longer hear it since they shut the door.

This made me crazy. I was supposed to sleep but I think tonight will be another sleepless night. 
 

I decided to sit at my desk to read something just to drowse me off to sleep. I was reading a book until I heard three knocks on my door.

"Joohyun unnie." A familiar voice spoke. "Are you still awake?"

"No. I'm asleep Seulgi." I answered jokingly.

"Why are you still talking then?" I heard her muffled voice. "Unnieeeeee..." The knock became louder while she whined.

"Yah! Seulgi! Are you planning to break my door?" I shouted and groaned impatiently as I stood up to open the door. "Come in." I said as I gave her an unwelcoming expression.

Seulgi came inside and collapsed herself on my bed like it was hers. I was sitting on my desk chair trying to concentrate on reading. 
 

"Unnie." She said as I was about to continue reading. "Seungwan has been crying since I don't know when. I just saw it when we arrived a while ago."

I wondered why she was directly telling me this like she knows something.

"Why are you telling this to me?" I spoke with pretense of not giving a when in fact it was an answer to the question I was always asking myself.

"She has been crying, I know her eyes. I feel bad for her. She opened the door for me earlier acting like she wasn't when in fact I could hear her sobbing under the sheets." Seulgi said with concern. "It just stopped now because I think she already fell asleep."

I just sat there quietly listening to Seulgi, who can only see my back because I was facing my desk.

"I hope whatever the problem is between you two, you can resolve it without hurting each other more." Seulgi continued.

Those words came to me like an axe tearing my whole being into two. It's ironic because I always say Seungwan always leaves me hanging when in fact I did the same to her too.

"Do you know something Seul?" I asked her with curiosity.

"I know there's something but I decided no to ask Seungwan in detail but I know she's hurting. I know it's because of what she feels for you. I know I'm not supposed to be saying this but I just feel bad that you two aren't talking to each other anymore. It also hurts me because you used to be very close with each other." Seulgi explained. Wow I never knew this girl could think so mature, more mature than me. 

I was about to start talking when I heard the bed creak with Seulgi standing up ready to leave my room.

"Don't you wanna hear what I'm gonna say?" I asked the girl who was already on her way out holding the door handle.

"Unnie. Whatever you're gonna say, it's not me who's supposed to listen to it." She stepped out of my room leaving  me no chance to answer. When did she grow up? I felt like I just talked to someone older than me. Well, she's right though.

That was the time when I realized, I needed to call Bogum.

"Bogum-ah." I spoke with a low voice. "I need to talk to you personally. Right now."

•••••
 

It has been days since I haven't seen Wendy. We are living inside the same house but there's not a time that I see her. She was always inside their room or having a meal with her friends. Well, finally I can see her today. Thankfully, it's our rehearsals for the upcoming song festival. I know I'm not supposed to be thankful because I knew damn well that it's gonna be exhausting