Chapter 13

Jessica thought that her life could not get any harder. But Summer’s early return made it hellish than ever. Now, the pain of losing Taeyeon and having her abuser coming back, Jessica cannot see herself being able to feel anything but misery. Tiffany has been trying to reach her but she ignored all the calls and messages. Seulgi has been doing her best to comfort her. But it does not seem to work. How can it be? Jessica felt she ruined her own life by letting herself caught in all these troubles.

She sits there in the hallway; alone. Summer has been going around the office to promote herself to the producers of the show. “Do not show yourself. You’ll embarrass me. Remember, no one wants to offer a freak a job.” Those were her words before she left. At this point, Jessica is already used to being called with such a name. Although, it still aches her heart. She closes her eyes as she leans her back on the wall. She keeps wondering what would her life be if she follows Tiffany back then? Walk out like she did. It would have been different.

She can work a job that does not include her being tortured. She can go out to party and drink with her friends. She can fall in love with anyone, man or woman. Maybe Tiffany and her would still be together if fate says so.

But she chose a different path. The one that led her to live a life where she has to be with a singer whose ego and pride are her thing. She has to faked a smile, a laugh, her entire happiness for the sake of her fans. She has to become the person that she is not. She felt terrible, disgusted at her own being. Taeyeon was there. For a moment, Jessica felt safe. As if she had nothing to worry about. She felt normal. But even that person’s heart was broken because of her. Jessica can feel her tears coming. Oh, how hurt she feels right now.

“Unnie?” A familiar voiced called. Jessica opens her eyes and sees a blonde-haired woman staring at her with a huge smile. “W-Wendy?” She is surprise to see her. Wendy could not help but go to her and embraces her long-time friend.

“I can’t believe I’m seeing you again! It’s been such a long time, unnie.” Wendy said as she let go of Jessica.

“Wendy, what are you doing here?” Jessica felt confused. She has been to this building so many times, she has never seen Wendy here before.

“Well, I just finished my schedule.” Wendy takes out an album from her bag and gives it to Jessica. It was her solo mini album that was just released. Jessica looks at her proudly. “You debuted?” This time, she is the one who hugs Wendy. “Oh my God, congratulations!” She smiles and looks at the album again. Wendy could not help but feel even happier today.

“I thought I’ll never get to be a singer. But I did.” Jessica’s smile fade after hearing those words. An old guilt creep inside of her again. She cannot dare herself to look at the younger woman in the eyes. “I’m sorry. It was my fault.” Jessica apologized. “If it wasn’t for what I did, it would’ve been different for us. We could’ve debuted.”

Wendy was silent for a minute. She shook her head and gently caresses Jessica’s arm. They look at each other. “It was never your fault, unnie. You were brave to come out and be who you are. It’s just the company’s being prejudice, that’s all.” She spoke.

“But I ruined it. I took away your chance to reach your dreams.” Jessica can feel her chest is tightening up from the guilt.

“No, unnie. You gave me a chance.” Wendy claimed. “I thought that being an idol means you can’t be yourself. You can’t be someone that the fans don’t want to see. But I realized that…idols are humans too. We’re all bound to be miserable sometimes. I almost gave up. But when I saw you on-stage, how outstanding you were, I knew I needed to do the same. I can never give up on my dreams.”

Jessica is in disbelief. She would never think that Wendy, someone who walked out that door in the past, felt inspired by her. The guilt she had for her, at least for now, is slowly fading away. If only, she can hear words to comfort her about Taeyeon too. She chuckles sadly. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Wendy. I’m so lost.” She spoke with teary eyes.

Wendy was quiet for a brief moment. She puts her arm around Jessica’s shoulders. “I have no idea what happened to you. But I do know how it felt to be lost.”

“I can never go back.” Jessica tightly pressed her lips in frustration.

“Who says?” Wendy raised her brows. “Unnie, you’re strong. You’re stronger than any of us. You’re lost now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find a way.” She reaches Jessica’s hand to hold it firmly. “Whoever this woman is, you’ll get her back.”

Jessica is surprise. How can she know? Wendy just smiles at the expression. She has become quite a pro in reading people’s emotions. Whatever’s troubling Jessica’s mind, Wendy is sure that she has been overthinking about love. “I’m sure you’ll get through this. Trust me.” She nodded confidently.

“Wendy!” A female manager called. Both Wendy and Jessica look at the person not far behind them. “Come on. We need to go.” She gestured her hand to tell the singer to move.

“Ah, yes, Irene unnie!” Wendy answered. She turns to Jessica. “I have to go.” She quickly takes out a business card and gives it to the older woman. “I don’t have a phone yet. Rookie rule. But here’s my manager’s number. Call me if you ever want to meet again.” She smiled brightly and left to walk with her manager. Jessica watches as the two hurriedly entered the van parked at the front entrance. She looks at the album and card in her hands.

“Thank you, Wendy.” She whispered to herself. Soon, Seulgi appears to pick up Jessica and Summer. Of course, the older idol throws another tantrum in the car because none of the producers were interested to put her in any of their shows. Jessica can only suffer silently by the countless hitting on the arm.

**

Taeyeon sits quietly at the dining table. Her chopsticks playing around with a piece of rice cake on the small plate. Hyeri looks at her. It has been a while now since Taeyeon has been staying with her. Of course, she took every chance she can get to make a move on her former girlfriend. She tried everything to please Taeyeon; mostly ual ones. But no matter what she did, she can still the emptiness in those eyes. What woman broke Taeyeon’s heart that made her so…void.

“Babe, why aren’t you eating? You love the rice-cakes from that shop.” Hyeri spoke.

Taeyeon inhales sharply. “I’m not…hungry.” She said as she put her chopsticks down. She leans on the chair; shoulders drop low. She thought reuniting with Hyeri would bring her sadness away. Maybe she has not learned her lesson yet, even after Yuri’s punch and outburst in the past. She felt desperate to move-on from Jessica. To get back to her old-life. But she still could not take Jessica off her mind. Even when she was having with Hyeri, she cannot stop thinking about Jessica. She felt she is about to go insane because of her.

“Want to eat something else? I’ll order for you!” Hyeri tried to lighten up the mood. Taeyeon simply shook her head. Hyeri could not help but to frown. She is about to say something when the doorbell rings. She curses inside. Who dares to interrupt them (well, her, specifically)? In annoyance, Hyeri heads to the screen-cam installed on the wall near entrance.  She feels weird when the whole-screen is black. The doorbell rings again. She has no choice but to open the door to see who the guest is.

In front of Hyeri, stood a familiar woman whom she despised with a stranger next to her. “I told you not to come here.” She rudely spoke. “Won’t listen. Don’t care.” Yuri plainly responded before easily pushing her aside and walked in with Tiffany following closely from behind. Despite Hyeri’s yells, Yuri completely ignores her and goes to the kitchen area where Taeyeon is sitting at the dining table. The two friends look at each other; one with an annoyed expression while the other has a disinterest look.

“Get out of my apartment!” Hyeri yelled. Yuri sharply inhales. She swears her ears might bleed from the crazy woman’s high pitch scream. “Make it quick.” She said to Tiffany. Taeyeon finally notices the unrecognized woman next to Yuri. She has no interest in knowing her. But she is about to once she learns who she is. “Hello, Taeyeon.” Tiffany politely bowed. “My name’s Tiffany. Jessica’s…ex-girlfriend.” She introduced herself.

“What?” Taeyeon whispered, feeling shock. Why is she here all of the sudden? How does she know her? What’s her relationship with Yuri?

“I said get out!” Hyeri intervened. Yuri turns to her and pushes her on the shoulder. “Shut up or I’ll drag you out.” She threatened. Her tone made Hyeri to step back. Tiffany quickly speaks before she will get cut off again. “I came here to talk about Jessica.”

Taeyeon presses her lips. Her ego is up-high. She does not want to admit she misses the idol and she is damn sure she would not show it either. “I’m not interested.” Taeyeon stood up to walk away but Tiffany held her arm. “Let me go.” Taeyeon warned. However, Tiffany refuses to do that, not until she listens to what she has to say.

“You’re not the only one who’s hurting.” Tiffany tries to control her wavering voice. “Jessica is hurting too.”

“That’s her problem. Not mine.” Taeyeon frowned.

Tiffany takes a deep breath to calm her emotions. “You know her story. We were both trainees when we dated. Our debut was cancelled because of that.” “Then, you left. That’s on you.” Taeyeon intervened.

“I left…” Tiffany raised her voice. “I left…because I had to. I had to for Jessica’s sake. I was heart-broken not because I failed to become a singer. I was miserable because I hurt her. I broke her. The words I’ve said to her were painful. I wished I could’ve taken it all back, but I can’t.” Tears begin to fall on her cheeks. “Jessica has always been the brightest person I’ve ever met. She is kind, funny and easy-going. I fell in love with her because she was special. The Jessica I know now is no longer that person. She is suffering, Taeyeon. She had to faked her happiness but truth is, she’s in pain. She loves you. She really does. But she’s scared. She’s scared you’ll get hurt. She’s scared that you have to throw your life away because of her.”

“Stop.” Taeyeon clenched her teeth. No, she cannot hear another word from Tiffany. Jessica never loves her. She never did. Why is she lying?

“You can run away all you want. But you love her. Deep down, you knew she loves you too. But things weren’t as easy as you believed to be. It’s not a fairy-tale!” Tiffany shouted. “I’m not telling you to be with her. I’m saying this so you’ll understand that she never meant to hurt you. Taeyeon, you’ve brought back her happiness. You’re special to her. Believe it or not, she needs you. She really needs you.” Tiffany said in between her sobs.

Taeyeon’s eyes soften. Sadness and guilt are clearly shown in her expression. Hyeri has enough of this nonsense. She pushes herself passed Yuri to be next to Taeyeon. She glares at Tiffany. “I don’t know who you are but stop lying to Taeyeon.” Taeyeon simply lowers her head when Hyeri interfered. “Get out of my apartment while I’m still being nice.” Hyeri pushed Tiffany away. Yuri sees that and quickly stands in the middle; her eyes looking down at Hyeri.

“Touch her again and I’ll beat the out of you.” Yuri warned. Her towering height itself intimidates Hyeri. Tiffany holds Yuri’s arm. “Stop. I’ve told her everything. Let’s go home.” She wiped her tears away. Yuri exhales deeply. She looks at Taeyeon. “Oy, midget.” Taeyeon looks at her. “Don’t be an idiot. She’s still alive. Go back to her before it’s too late.” She finished her last words before leaving with Tiffany.

“I can’t believe her! She’s such a crazy !” Hyeri complaint once they were out the door. Taeyeon stands there quietly with Tiffany’s words ringing in her ears.

**

“So, Jessica! I heard that your fans noticed you look brighter nowadays.” The radio host spoke. Jessica and Summer are currently doing a radio show to announced their planned comeback. Although Summer had been trying to hogged the entire air-time to talked about herself, the host is smart enough to shift the topic to talk about Jessica. He is a veteran. He knows when an idol is trying to overshadows her member.

“Ah, really? I look the same, I think.” Jessica faked a laugh. The host laughs along. Summer just forces a smile at the side.

“Oh, I agree with them. You’re smiling more these days. You look prettier.” The host naturally complimented in which Jessica thanks him humbly. “Well, I’m sure there must be something good going on for you right now. Mind sharing it to the fans…and me?” He asked. Jessica is slightly taken aback by the question. But she manages to give a small smile.

Something good did happened. She met Taeyeon; the bartender who saved her life. The only person who saw her for who she really is. The woman that brings back her smiles. She cannot help but wanting talk of the good things about Kim Taeyeon. She deeply breathes in. “Well, I’ve met someone.” She spoke. Summer looks at her. She is expecting that Jessica is going to talk about that woman.

“Oh! Please do tell us about this person!” The host felt excited.

Jessica chuckles. She straightens her back. “I won’t lie. The idol’s life has been hard for me. Even though I have so many supporters, I, sometimes, feel lonely. I felt this void inside my heart. It was really difficult. I do love my fans. But I can’t help but to feel that way. I was in a really dark-place for a long time.” She takes a moment to calm down her incoming tears. “Then, I’ve met this woman. She’s older than me. So, she is wiser than I am. For months, I’ve been talking to her, telling her about all my problems. She gave me good advices. She encouraged me whenever I felt insecure about myself. She’s always around when I needed her. She guided me when I was lost.” Jessica smiled at the host. “I can’t say her name. I doubt she even has time to listen to the radio. But…I’m grateful that she came into my life. If it wasn’t for her, I’d still be lost.”

Summer scoffs at the emotional talk. The host, however, is smiling while approvingly nodding his head. “I’m happy that you have a friend like that. I’m sure your fans are too. Life’s hard even for idols like yourself. I hope whoever this person is, I hope you two stays with each other.” He gave an encouraging smile.

The radio show ended after a brief performance from Jessica and Summer. The host thanked the idol duo for coming to his show. “Oh, hey, Jessica. I’d like to have you as a guest again.” He offered. Of course, he made sure that Summer is not around to say it. Jessica looks at him. He simply smiles. “I think you’ll do good.” After a minute, Jessica finally nodded. The host pats her back gently before leaving the room. She catches with Summer who was already standing outside. Seulgi hurriedly left earlier to get the van downstairs. So, the idols walk to the ground-floor to meet up with her.

“What game are you playing at?” Summer suddenly spoke. Jessica halted. She did not understand what her senior meant by that. Summer turns to her with arms crossed. “You talked about that lil’ earlier, didn’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Summer scoffs. “Quit the act. You know who I’m talking about. That crazy lil’ thing messed with me backstage. Tch, who does she thinks she is?” She chuckled mockingly. “I’m already tired being with a freak. I have another one coming at me.” She un-crossed her arms to approaches Jessica. She puts her fingers on her forehead. The tip of her long nails digging into Jessica’s skin. She winces. “Bring her up again and I’ll punish you. Don’t think I can’t beat the hell out of you. That midget is nothing but a useless, shameless prick!” Summer clenched her teeth.

Jessica stands there silently with her head hang low. Summer knew Jessica never has the guts to go against her. Even after she has shunned her precious friend. She scoffed again. “Whoever her dad is, he must be embarrassed to have a daughter like her.”  Jessica heard Summer’s words loud and clear. She has no idea what came over her. But she knows it is certainly her pent-up anger slowly seeping out of her.

Jessica grabs Summer’s dress collar and glares at her sharply. Summer is shock by the sudden move. What’s more surprising was seeing the cold-ness in Jessica’s eyes for the first time. “Don’t you dare talk about her dad. Keep his name out of your filthy mouth. You can mock me, beat me, all you want. But never, ever, mentioned about Taeyeon and her family.” She warned harshly and let go of Summer. She gives a threatening look at the older woman and left.

Summer is stunned for a brief moment. Anger starts to overtaken her rationality. “You , how dare you.” She spoke. She cannot believe Jessica is brave to burst at her like that. She is older. She is her senior. She does not deserve that level of disrespect. Ego begins to overshadowed her common sense. Jessica is about to descend down the stairs when Summer comes from behind and pushes her.

Jessica could not hold on to anything in time. Her body rolls down the stairsteps and lands hard on the floor with a loud thud. She hits her head on impact. “That’s what you get for ting on me!” Summer shouted satisfyingly. She has a huge smile on her face at first. But after seeing her fellow member has not move an inch for a while now, she starts to realizes what happened. “Y-yah! Get up. Stop p-playing with me!” Summer yelled. But Jessica remained sprawling on the floor below.

Summer gulps nervously as her face turns paler. She slowly approaches Jessica with a quicken heartbeat. “J-Jessica?” She called. There is no response. Summer turns her body and stumbles back with a gasp when she sees the blood dripping down from Jessica’s injured head. She fumbles with her phone to call the manager. She looks at the unconscious Jessica in a nerve-wreck.

“Seulgi! Come here! J-Jessica, she’s hurt!”

**

Taeyeon sits on bed while Hyeri is busy at the kitchen. She has been thinking about what Tiffany had said to her. She cannot ignore the thoughts going through her mind. Jessica Jung. Why can’t she just move on from her? A heavy sigh escapes from her lips as she lets herself fall onto the bed. She checks the chatroom in her phone. There was Jessica’s name with a message that was left on read by Taeyeon. She has not been online for a while now; judging from the last seen date.

Taeyeon taps on the screen to enter the chat-room. She hesitates to type in the message. Even after what Tiffany had told her, it was still difficult for Taeyeon to forgive Jessica. Is it because of her ego? Or she was simply afraid of the changes between them? She is confused on what to do exactly. In the end, she exits the app and goes on to check the latest news.

With only a swipe to the right, there are the latest news popping on the screen. She scrolls to see if there is anything interesting for her to read. Then, a title made her halt. Taeyeon’s eyes widen as she sits back up. Kpop-star, Jessica Jung, was rushed to the hospital early this evening after falling down the stairs at xxx. It was known that the singer had just finished her schedule at a radio-show and was leaving for the next event when she had unfortunately slipped. She fell down and hits her head before getting unconscious. The manager, Kang Seulgi, called the ambulance who rushed to the scene. She is still unconscious. Insiders believed she may suffer a concussion.

Taeyeon did not even bother to finish reading the whole article. She hurriedly goes out while wearing her jacket. Hyeri sees her running and immediately catches on to her. “Where you’re going?” She asked. Taeyeon nervously turns to her. “I have to go. Jessica’s at the hospital.” She attempts to leave but Hyeri stops her again.

“J-Jessica? Taeyeon, are you serious?” Hyeri felt disbelief that Taeyeon is running off again to be back with Jessica, even after what she had done.

“I’m leaving.” Taeyeon sternly said. She pushes away Hyeri’s hand and goes to the front door. Hyeri did not gives in. She chases her and holds her arm. Taeyeon tries pulling herself away but Hyeri keeps on clinging. “N-no, don’t go. P-please, not again!” She shouted in tears.

“Hyeri, let me go!” “How is this fair!?” Hyeri yelled causing Taeyeon to stop resisting and listens to what she has to say. “You broke up with me even when I did nothing wrong! So, why…why are you running back to her when she broke your heart!? How can you leave me for someone who hurt you!”

Taeyeon sighs. She holds Hyeri’s hand and gently pulls her arm away from her. She looks at Hyeri. “I’m sorry. I admit, I used you. I’ve made you feel special. But you used me too, Hyeri. We’re no different. Let’s face it, what we had was never love. It was toxic and you knew that. Jessica needs me. I have to be there. So, please, let me go.” She gently spoke.

When Hyeri remained unmoving, Taeyeon takes the chance to give her one last kiss on the forehead before finally leaving. Once the door is shut, Hyeri slowly falls onto her knees. She pressed her palms on her face as she cried her heart out.

**

Taeyeon is outside on the street. She has been trying to call Seulgi but the manager did not answer her phone. She has no choice but to go there. She tries to halt any taxi passing by but all of them have passengers. Taeyeon frustratingly groans. She runs her hand through her messy-hair and looks around if there is any unoccupied taxi. Unfortunately, there is none. In desperation, Taeyeon sprints to the hospital with all her might. Even with the nausea and her feet in pain, she refused to stop. She cannot stop. Not until she reaches to Jessica.

After a long-run, Taeyeon finally arrives to the hospital mentioned in the article. Her ankles feel like it is about to break. But that did not hold her back. She pantingly runs inside. She heads to the counter where a nurse is talking on the phone. “E-excuse me.” She gulps down. “Do you know where Jessica Jung is admitted?”

The nurse raises her hand meaning she asked her to wait. Taeyeon breathes out heavily. “Where’s Jessica!?” She shouted. The nurse is taken aback by her yelling. She quickly dismisses the call. “Ms. Jung is currently admitted at the emergency room on the t-third floor.” She answered. Taeyeon did not even thank her. She dashes to the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Her shirt is completely soaking wet from all the sweat. Her hair is in a mess. But she could not care less how she looks at the moment.

After arriving on the third floor, Taeyeon immediately searches for Jessica. She is panting while running in a slower pace to check the rooms. It is then she sees Seulgi from afar. She heads over to the manager. “S-Seulgi!” She called out. The manager looks at Taeyeon. “W-where is she?” She asked in between her breath.

“T-Taeyeon, how did you know she was here?” Seulgi blinked confusingly. “I saw…the news.” Taeyeon replied. The manager nodded. She is relief that Taeyeon has return. At least, she feels a bit better. But she is still anxious. “Jessica is hurt pretty badly. She’s still in there.” Seulgi turned to the room where Jessica is currently being treated. Taeyeon tries to go in but Seulgi quickly stops her.

“I need to see her.” “I know. The doctor is doing his best. We have to wait until they’re finished.” Seulgi tried talking into some senses to Taeyeon. It manages to make her calm down a little. “Let’s wait for her.” Seulgi said. Taeyeon has no choice but to nod. She sighs heavily as she sits down on the chair in the hallway. She looks at the door with a red-light sign above it.

Taeyeon clasped her hands; praying to dear God to save Jessica. “Please, let her be okay.”

To be continued.

Yes, I know. I've made the annoucement. But it's hard for me to leave this story on hiatus after seeing the comments. So, I've decided to continue, for my readers. I'll be honest. I may rarely update. However, I'll finish what I started. I can't really leave my readers hanging after Chap.12. Anyways, enjoy! - Team Reowesome.