It’s right there.

All he needs to do is shift his hand by a few centimetres, and it'll be done.

But then Yesung reaches over to grab a spoon for himself and the moment is lost, making Hyukjae want to tear his hair out.

It’s such a simple wish really. So frustratingly simple, but at the very same time seems just out of reach, ironically enough.

“Why such a long face, hyung?” Kyuhyun’s voice snaps him out of his reverie, the trademark evil smile signalling an oncoming insult. “Planning your retirement? It’s about time.”

“Yah, you !” He pushes Kyuhyun over, nearly making him fall over the leftover cake, but the maknae balances himself just in time. “I’m 34, not 60!”

“Same difference,” teases Donghae, and Hyukjae pouts.

“You’re all being so mean to me. And on my birthday too!”

“Special treatment for the special boy,” says Yesung, laughing at Hyukjae’s sulky expression.

It's early in the morning - well, it's 9 am, but that's early for a Sunday morning for Hyukjae anyway - and a few of the members had barged into his house with a cake and party poppers and balloons and before Hyukjae could even blink the sleep out of his eyes, his face was being covered in cake, courtesy of Kyuhyun and Heechul.

And after he had cut the already ruined cake the five of them sat in his room as they discussed their plans for the day, but Hyukjae was tuning them out, his entire focus on Yesung and how pretty he seems so early in the morning, like he’s actually gotten a full night of sleep for once, which honestly? is very y of him.

And yeah maybe he is only just now admitting to himself that he finds his Yesung-hyung very attractive, and not in a very platonic way, but that might have to do with all the flirting and seemingly innocent touches that Yesung reserves for him like he does with no other member, so they’re probably a thing? Kinda? Sorta? He doesn’t know, but he's sure that he’s not making the tension between them up, is certain the other can feel it too, and has done nothing except make it even worse.

Skinship between them is normal, it couldn’t not be, given how touchy-feely Yesung is, even in public, but somehow when it comes to the times when there are no cameras filming and no screaming fans to cheer, the distance between his hand and Yesung’s seems like he’s trying to cross the pacific ocean in a rowboat with no oars.

It’s so unfair. All he wants to do is envelope Yesung’s tiny, soft hand with his, in a gesture that would perhaps show the older how deep his stupid heart has fallen for him.

— ♡ —

But the opportunity to do so eludes him, and it becomes even more aggravating when he tries to do so a second time, a few hours after the unexpected birthday surprise in the morning, when they’re all dressed up and ready to hit the city. It’s just him, Donghae and Yesung with the afternoon to themselves before the actual celebrations at night with the rest of the members.

He’s cleaned up well, managing to remove all traces of cake from his face and neck, and now sports a loose-fitting plaid top over a white tee and distressed jeans, feeling pretty confident, but he feels it pales in comparison to Yesung, the fashion icon rival of their group, who looks stunning in denim, the dark blue of the jacket contrasting beautifully with the black shirt and white trousers that shows off his physique in a near sinful way. It doesn't help that his previously crimson hair was now sheared short and dyed the raven that he is so used to, half parted to reveal the rare sight of his forehead. 

Must be a good day for him to be confident enough to do that, Hyukjae notes absently.

“So, what do you want to do?”

It takes a second to process the question that Donghae directed at him, and he looks away from Yesung hastily, hoping that he hasn’t been caught staring.

“I’m not so sure. It was your plan to go out after all.”

“Well yes, but it is your birthday.”

Hyukjae shrugs. He honestly has no idea how to spend the afternoon, he hadn’t asked questions prior to leaving his home, no excuse really necessary to spend time with his hyung and Donghae.

“Well, we probably should figure something out, unless we want to walk around Seoul for the rest of the day.”

“Maybe we could go to a cafe.” Yesung’s voice pipes up, a slight hint of apprehension in his suggestion. Hyukjae doesn’t really like cafes, but Yesung does, and probably spends about half his free time exploring new artsy places to visit.

“Trust you to suggest that, Yesung-hyung,” snorts Donghae, but before he can go on, Hyukjae cuts him off. 

“That sounds like a good idea, hyung,” he says, and watches, satisfied, as a smile lights up Yesung’s brilliant features.

About twenty minutes later they're walking through a cafe that Yesung mentioned had been suggested by a friend of Jongjin’s, and Hyukjae can tell that it’s exactly his type, just as though a little piece of Europe had been cut away and placed in Seoul, cosy and quaint, with a quite tempting smell of coffee and chocolate wafting through the air.

Fortunately for them, the cafe isn’t busy, so they find themselves a table immediately. Hyukjae pouts as Donghae slips into the seat beside Yesung, destroying any possibility of being able to stealthily take his hand underneath the table, but knowing that he can’t very well force him to move without it seeming weird, he plops down in front of his hyung.

At least this way he can see Yesung’s face better.