Hyukjae has been acting strange.

Donghae knows he's not the best at understanding other people's emotions—he doesn't even understand his own, most of the time—but he'd been raised to be observant about people's routines and patterns. So when Hyukjae starts leaving for long periods of time during the day, Donghae notices right away. 

At first, he brushes it off. But after a few days, Donghae's feeling a little antsy about the sudden change in Hyukjae's behaviour. His boyfriend doesn't acknowledge it, nor does anyone else, and he can't help but think something might be going on. 

"Hyukkie?" Donghae decides to ask one night when they’re both lying in bed. Hyukjae looks up from his phone.

"Yes, love?" he says.

"Is something wrong?" Donghae asks, tilting his head. Hyukjae straightens, staring at him for a few seconds.

"No," he says. 

Hyukjae always says he'd never lie to him, so he believes him.

"Okay," Donghae says, laying down and resting his head on Hyukjae’s lap. His boyfriend's hand settles on his head when he does so, playing with a few strands of his hair. 

It feels good.

"You've been going out a lot recently," Donghae says after a few minutes of silence. "What have you been doing? Can I help?”

Hyukjae hums, moving his hand from his head to his shoulder, massaging his muscles. Donghae purrs quietly in contentment, turning so he can bury his face into his boyfriend’s stomach. He wraps his arms around Hyukjae and breathes deeply, savouring the musky scent of Hyukjae’s cologne. It never fails to make him feel safe and warm, especially considering the way Hyukjae is cradling his head. 

“It’s okay,” Hyukjae says. “I’m just sorting out a few things and I’ll tell you about it when I’m finished, okay?”

Donghae pouts. He supposes that would be okay.

"How long until you're finished?" he asks.

"I don't know," Hyukjae responds after a long moment of silence. Donghae slumps.

"Okay," he says. Hyukjae moves to his hair.

“While I’m here now, do you want to go out for ice cream?” he asks. Donghae perks up. 

“Now?” he confirms.

“Of course now,” Hyukjae says, reaching out and brushing some of his hair behind his ear. Donghae grabs his hand before he can pull back.

“Okay!” he says. He kisses Hyukjae’s hand before he gets up. He’s about to grab some clothes when he’s pulled back by the waist. He lets out a quiet yelp as Hyukjae’s arms wrap around his waist, chin on his shoulder. Donghae turns, pouting. “What is it?”

“Let me choose your clothes?” he asks.

“Why?” he asks. Hyukjae shrugs.

“Because I want to?”

“Mm,” Donghae says, pretending to consider it. “Fine. I want to have a jacket though.”

Hyukjae turns his head to peck him on the cheek, causing Donghae to giggle, “Your wish is my command, my love.”

He lets go and goes to Donghae’s closet. Donghae watches, dropping down on the bed before a thought occurs to him.

“Wait, then can I choose your outfit too?” he asks. Hyukjae turns, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“If you wish,” he says and Donghae leaps up, running over to Hyukjae’s dresser on the other side of the room. His boyfriend is always dressed so proper, and he wants nothing more than for him to go out in something more comfortable. He pulls out a large and cosy-looking cream-coloured sweater out of the bottom of the dresser and holds it up.

“I’ve never seen you wear this before,” he says. Hyukjae blinks at it for a second.

“Ah,” he says. “That was my dad’s.”

Donghae’s eyes widen and he quickly bundles the sweater close to him. “I—oh,” he squeaks. “I—uh—I’m sorry.”

"It's fine, love," Hyukjae says, crossing the room in a few steps. He kisses Donghae on the cheek before taking the sweater. "I can wear this if you want."

Donghae shakes his head—he doesn't want the both of them sunk in terrible memories when they should be having fun. He carefully folds the sweater and puts it back. When he's done, he heads over to his own closet, pulling out his favourite sweater. It's an oversized, bright red sweater, well-loved and a little frayed.

"Here," he says, holding it out to Hyukjae. "Wear mine."

Hyukjae takes it, stripping out of his pyjama shirt and putting the sweater on. It's oversized on Donghae but fits Hyukjae quite well. At least, the sleeves stop at his wrist and his shoulders are broad enough to fill the sweater out.

Donghae takes a step back to appreciate the way the sweater looks—his boyfriend is so handsome.

"Handsome," Donghae says, nodding. Hyukjae's cheeks turn pink.

"Mm," he says, fiddling with the collar. "This sweater smells like you."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Of course," Hyukjae says. "Does this mean you'll wear my clothes?" 

Donghae nods enthusiastically.

"If I fit in them," he says.

"What are you saying, of course you'll fit in them," Hyukjae says and crosses the room. He disappears into the walk-in closet for a few minutes before he re-emerges with a t-shirt, leather jacket, and black skinny jeans.

Donghae eyes the outfit dubiously.

"Okay Hyukkie," he says. Hyukjae hands the clothes over.

Donghae starts with the shirt, which is nice and loose like he prefers. The pants, however, are ridiculously tight. It's a struggle to pull them on.

When he finally manages it, he looks up at Hyukjae to see his boyfriend staring at him with dark eyes.

"Um. Does it look good?" Donghae asks and Hyukjae tugs him into his arms. Donghae yelps when his boyfriend grabs his .

"Hyukkie!" he protests. 

"You're so y," Hyukjae says. "I cannot believe you're real."

Donghae hides his face in Hyukjae's chest, heart racing.

"Hyukjae," he says. Hyukjae chuckles, gently tilting his head up with a finger under his chin and kissing him. Donghae melts into the kiss, feeling Hyukjae's hands wander up his back. 

"Weren't we going to go for ice cream?" Donghae whispers when they pull back. Hyukjae hums.

"Yes," he says. "Shall we?"

Donghae hides a giggle behind his hand as Hyukjae tugs out the door. He feels lighter than he has in days, and all his worries about Hyukjae's strange behaviour disappear as they head outside, hand in hand.

⸺

Though Hyukjae assures him that there's nothing wrong, the strange behaviour continues. Hyukjae leaves earlier and earlier in the morning, coming back later and later.

And when Donghae asks about his day, the answers he gets in return are vague. Unlike before, when Hyukjae would tell him everything that goes on in his day. Kyuhyun doesn’t seem concerned about it when he brings it up, and Heechul, Leeteuk, and Shindong all don’t seem to think there’s an issue either.

Donghae tries to tell himself that everything is fine. He distracts himself by helping with inventory as well as working with Heechul and Leeteuk to train recruits and soldiers. 

Even still, it's hard when Hyukjae suddenly seems so closed off.

Donghae finishes cleaning the weapons from training before heading to the kitchens for dinner. He's a little late, but hopefully, Hyukjae will forgive him.

But when he enters the kitchen, Hyukjae is nowhere to be found.

He frowns.

"Where's Hyukkie?" he asks quietly. Shindong turns to him. 

"Oh, he isn't back yet," he says. Donghae bites his lip.

"But he hasn't been here since the morning," he says. "And he still hasn't… he still won't tell me where he's going."

And Hyukjae never skips dinner with him. He feels like crying, but he blinks them away.

"Will you eat with me?" he asks Shindong. The chef blinks at him before he nods.

"Of course, Donghae," he says. Donghae nods, giving Shindong a wide smile. He watches as the man fixes two dishes for them and follows him to the table. 

Donghae isn't really in the mood to talk. He's glad that Shindong seems to pick up on that, since they dine in silence, simply enjoying each other's company. 

He finishes his meal quickly, thanking Shindong for making the food and spending the time with him, and then heads back to his bedroom. As he walks down the halls, he catches sight of Yesung a short way in front of him.

"Yesung!" Donghae calls and the consigliere stops, turning to him. "Hi."

"Hi?" Yesung says, raising an eyebrow at him. 

"Do you know where Hyukkie is?" he asks, rocking back onto his heels. Yesung is the one who helps Hyukjae with his planning and acts as his boyfriend’s advisor, so if anyone should know, it should be Yesung.

Yesung blinks at him before shaking his head.

“Ah, he’s been keeping it pretty quiet the past few weeks,” Yesung says. “I think he’s almost done though if it’s any consolation.”

Donghae bites his lip. It’s not really a consolation, but he supposes if Hyukjae’s almost done, then it’d be fine.

"Listen, I'll talk to you later, I need to head out," Yesung says quickly. Donghae nods, feeling a little dejected.

"Okay," he mutters. Yesung pats him lightly on the shoulder before turning and disappearing down the hall. Donghae watches him go before he sighs, slipping into his room. He changes into his pyjamas, an old sweater that belongs to Hyukjae and has been stretched out from countless washes and a pair of sweatpants.

When he’s done, he crawls into bed, wrapping the blankets around himself.

It’s half-past nine, and Donghae usually goes to bed at ten. But Hyukjae still isn’t home, and the bed feels cold and empty.

He's suddenly aware of tears starting to trail down his cheeks. He tries to wipe them away, but they come faster than he can stop them.

He doesn't know why he's crying, he knows Hyukjae wouldn't just abandon him. But he can't help but feel like he's been left out, left behind, by the one he loves. And he still doesn’t understand why.

"Donghae?" 

Donghae snaps upright, turning to see Hyukjae standing at the door.

"H-Hyukjae," Donghae says, wiping away the tears. “You’re back.”

Hyukjae frowns, coming up to him.

“What’s wrong, love?” he asks.

Donghae inhales shakily. “Sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to cry,” he says. 

“Are you okay?” Hyukjae asks. Donghae nods, watching as Hyukjae quickly changes into something for bed.

“I just—I just don’t understand why you're suddenly gone all the time,” Donghae says. “Did I do something wrong?" 

He curls up, wrapping his arms tighter around himself.

“Oh Donghae,” Hyukjae coos, crawling into the bed and pulling him into a tight hug before kissing his forehead. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how this made you feel.”

Donghae sniffs, rubbing his eyes. He unfurls slowly, sinking into the hug.

“I know you have work to do,” he says. “And I don’t want to get in the way of that.”

Hyukjae shakes his head.

“You’re my priority,” Hyukjae says. “I want you to understand that, okay? For me, you always come first—if you have a problem, you can always come to me.”

Donghae sniffs again. “O-Okay,” he says. 

“Now,” Hyukjae says. “Why don’t we go to bed. And tomorrow, I want to take you out for a day of fun, okay?”

Donghae squeezes Hyukjae tightly. “Promise you won’t be gone when I wake up again?” he asks. Hyukjae hums, burying his face in Donghae’s hair. He can feel his boyfriend inhale deeply and his hand slowly rubbing circles at the base of his neck.

“I promise,” he says. 

Donghae nods.

“I’ll be very mad if you break your promise,” he says and Hyukjae nods, kissing him on the forehead. 

“Of course," he says. Donghae pouts, but shifts closer to his boyfriend. Hyukjae wraps his arm around his waist. Donghae loves when they cuddle like this, because it makes him feel warm and so, so safe. He can feel Hyukjae's lips ghost against his cheek and giggles.

"Goodnight, Hyukkie," he says. 

"Goodnight, love," Hyukjae murmurs in return. Donghae settles, and with Hyukjae beside him, it doesn't take him long before he falls asleep.

⸺

Donghae is pleased to wake up to a pleasant warmth, which he quickly identifies as Hyukjae’s arms wrapped around him. He hums, content.

“Good morning, lovely,” Hyukjae says. 

“Good morning, Hyukkie,” he says, pecking his boyfriend on the cheek. “What time is it?”

Hyukjae groans, turning to grab his phone off the bedside table.

“Six,” he says. Donghae nods, settling back onto Hyukjae’s chest. 

“Should we get out of bed?” he asks. Hyukjae runs his hand up and down his back.

“I do have a lot planned for us today,” he says. Donghae nods.

“Okay, then,” he says and starts to roll out of bed, stopping when Hyukjae tugs him back into bed.

“In a few minutes,” he says, cupping his cheek and peppering his face with kisses. Donghae squirms but ultimately gives in, laughing at Hyukjae’s dramatics. 

“Hyukkie!” he says. Hyukjae gives him one more firm, slobbery kiss on the cheek before finally letting him go.

“Okay,” he says. “Now I’m satisfied.”

Donghae laughs, wiping the spit off his cheek as he heads to the bathroom. When he’s finished getting ready, there’s breakfast waiting for them in the room. Hyukjae is already waiting for him and Donghae settles next to him. They eat in comfortable silence and when they’re done, Hyukjae tugs him into a sideways hug.

"I know I've been a little distant the past couple of weeks and I'm sorry," Hyukjae says, kissing him gently on the chee