Seungwan tried her best to be good to Joohyun. She tried to do whatever she can to make her girlfriend happy because that was all she wanted when she became Joohyun's lover.

The first year together was filled with sweetness overload. The two of them were happy and enjoyed the time they spent together. Seungwan would wish for nothing else other than being with Joohyun.

Joohyun made her happy. Joohyun always managed to bring out a smile on her face. She loved to have Joohyun around. In a short span of time, she became attached to Joohyun. She couldn't imagine how life would be without her.

 

"Seungwan ah, what were you thinking?" Joohyun asked when she saw her daydreaming. 

"Nothing. I am just thinking of how lucky I am to have you." Seungwan answered honestly as she stared at Joohyun with her loving eyes. 

"Ah. Seungwan. You and your sweet mouth." Joohyun chuckled and pushed her gently. 

"I still can't believe that you're mine. You could have anyone else, better than me but you're here now with me. I will forever be grateful, Hyun ah." Seungwan said and caressed Joohyun's cheek softly. 

Joohyun just smiled at her and learned into her touch. 

​​​​​​"Well, I am grateful too. I love you, Seungwan ah." 

"Hm. I love you too, My love." 

 

Anyone could tell how much in love the two were with each other. Their eyes couldn't lie. The way they looked at each other literally screamed that they were indeed being so deeply in love with each other. 

 

 

...

 

 

​​​​​​"He is just a friend. Nothing more." 

"Yeah. I know." 

"Then why are you being upset?" 

"I am not, Joohyun." 

"Then what is this?" 

Seungwan sighed and rubbed her face in frustration. Joohyun frowned while waiting for her to answer her. 

"I just... I don't like how you interacted with him okay. I am jealous." 

Joohyun slowly smiled and approached her. She put her hand on Seungwan's shoulder. 

"We're just friends. Trust me, okay? And if you're jealous, I understand. It's only natural for you to feel that way since I'm your girlfriend. But Seungwan ah, I want you to know that I only want you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. No one else matters but you. You're the only one who caught my heart here. I love you." 

"I know. I know that you love me. I love you too, Hyunnie. You know that, right?" 

"Of course. You wouldn't love anyone else."

Seungwan chuckled seeing her girlfriend being confident and she loves it. 

"Good. And I'm sorry." 

"Shh. There's no need to say sorry about it. Now come and give me a hug." 

"Okay." Seungwan pulled her quickly into her arms and hugged her tight. That's how fast they settled the issue. 

 

Their second year together filled with a lot of arguments and insecurities but their love for each other was still strong and that was how they managed to keep going back to each other no matter what happened. The two lovers would always tried to reassure one another and by the end of the day, they would still be together. 

 

 

...

 

 

The third and fourth year were lighter. Their relationship became lighter, in a good way at first. They weren't a lot of arguments or fights. They just got busy with their life and preferred to focus on what's necessary rather than a silly argument. They were used to each other already and had grown comfortable with each other.

They hide nothing at all and always share everything together. They still flirted sometimes and always had good conversations every day.

But then, things doesn't go the way they want it. In a relationship, things are bound to happen. They somehow drifted apart and one felt unhappy about the other.

That was what happened to them in their fifth year of relationships. Things suddenly went blurry and fast forward they were at the edge of breaking up.

 

"Where did we go wrong?" 

"..." 

"What went wrong?" 

"..." 

"..." 

"I don't know." 

"Seungwan ah." 

"I... I don't know anymore, Hyun." 

The two lovers were sitting on the same sofa but at each far end of it. Both refused to look at each other. 

"Tell me, what's going on?" 

"I don't know." 

"You are upset, Seungwan." 

"I am." 

"What should I do then? How do I make you feel better?" 

Seungwan smiled bitterly. That was what Joohyun has always asked when she felt upset with her about anything. Joohyun wouldn't know what to do or what to say most of the time. 

"I don't have the answer for your question, Joohyun." 

"Seungwan, we can't be like this every time this happen." 

Seungwan heard Joohyun let out a heavy sigh before she said more, complaining of how tired she was with what has been going on between them. Just them being upset about one another, being distant and arguments... Again. 

​​​​​​"Well. Clearly, it wasn't just me who was not happy here." 

"What?" 

"You are not happy too, Joohyun." 

"Seungwan, I-" 

"Maybe we should just break up?" 

"..." 

Seungwan gulped and sat frozen waiting for Joohyun's reply. She could feel that her head was spinning and she just wanted to shut down the world for a while. 

"Is that what you really want?" Joohyun asked in a whisper. 

"..." 

"Seungwan?" 

"No. I don't know. I really don't know anymore." 

"..." 

"I want to make this works and I... I tried, Joohyun. For you, for us, I have tried all that I could."

"..."

"I don't think that we... That we should continue this anymore." 

"So... You really want to break up with me now?" 

Seungwan could feel Joohyun was staring at her from the side but she didn't want to look back at her. She's scared that she would be crumbling down in front of her. Seungwan felt like screaming her lung out until it hurts. She felt suffocating.

"I guess... It's best for us." Seungwan said in a low tone. 

"Okay."

They let silence filled the room for a minute before Joohyun slowly standing up and grabbed her stuff. 

"I hope you'll be happy now. Thank you for everything. I really appreciate it all." 

"You too." Seungwan just gave a short reply as she couldn't trust her voice to speak at the moment. 

"Goodbye, Seungwan." 

Seungwan closed her eyes as Joohyun left her apartment. Her hands were shaking and her jaws tightened. She bowed her head and bit her bottom lip before she finally burst out crying. She let out a silent cry. Her shoulders were shaking as she clenched her hands. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 

"I love you. Please. I love you, Joohyun ah. I love you so much." 

"I'm really sorry. Come back. Please don't leave me. I love you." 

Seungwan cried her heart out. 

She regretted for suggesting breaking up as soon as she mentioned it. She regretted of letting Joohyun go. She regretted it all. At the same time, she thought that maybe... Just maybe... It was the right thing to do. 

The pain from breaking up made Seungwan to break down for one week straight. She kept crying for Joohyun and her heart aches so bad. Her eyes hurt too but she couldn't stop crying, not when her heart was in so much pain. 

She wanted to scream the pain out and throw anything to erase the pain but there's nothing she can do to heal her broken heart. So she just accepted her defeat. She accepted the pain and let it kill her inside slowly. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

​​​​​​... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seungwan POV

It was raining. The cloud was a little dark, cloudy they said. There was no other sound aside from the rain pouring down. Somehow, it sounded calming to me. It was calming for my heavy wounded heart.

I'm just here, sitting down inside my room, on my bed. My back leaning against my bed frame. My earphone stucked into my ears as I played all of my sad songs. People said you shouldn't listen to sad songs when you're sad, but it's different to me. I listen to sad songs more when I'm sad.

As it started to rain heavily, I closed my eyes and volume up the song

 

"I love you, Son Seungwan." She said as she put her palm gently on my chest, feeling my heart beats for her. Just for her. 

"And I'll always be here. With you." She smiled, which gave me butterflies. 

 

The memories of us will always be in my head no matter where I go.

I opened my eyes slowly as I put my palm on my chest, I still remember her touch. The way her touch just made my heart to lose control and go crazy.

Ever since we broke up, I can't feel my heart to beat like usual.

 

"Maybe we should just break up?"

 

​​​​​​"Okay." 

 

As soon as the word came out of , my whole world crashed. My heart stopped beating as it slowly broke into pieces. I felt as if a sharp knife stabbed right through into my heart. That was how I feel when she agreed to break up with me. 

Who am I to make her stay? When the past few months I've seen her laughed and smiled being with someone else instead? While we kept making each other upset and had been so distant. We're both eventually got tired. 

I don't want to let her go, but at the same time I can't hold on any longer. I want her to stay but at the same time, I don't.

So I said it, I let her go with a heavy heart.

I said those break up sentence with every pieces of my broken heart. I just watched her leave. I watched her walking away from me. A sight that I have never ever imagined to happen to me.

The love of my life walking away and leaving me alone with nothing but a broken heart.

She never look back. She never talk to me anymore. I guess, it's really the end for us. It took me days, weeks and months to move on. But I've failed, miserably.

Until one day, I heard she was moving on. Which took me another few weeks to get over it but it continues to hurt me more. Then I heard she was happier now. I can't take it anymore. So I decided that it's best if I just leave. Leave everything behind.

"I'm letting you go. I'm... Letting you go." I whispered sadly as tears slowly rolled down on my cheeks.

With a final decision, I informed my family that I'm coming back to Canada.

 

"Goodbye, Bae Joohyun... My love."

 

A sigh escaped from my mouth as I closed my eyes again, hoping that this heartache will be gone soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

..........

 

Oh wow. Been a long time since I last wrote Wenrene fics and here I am, back with a One Shot angst. I hope everyone's doing fine out there. Stay safe yall. 

 

^^