**Long Chapter ahead**

​The sun is up. A new day that gives hope to many for better chances. A chance where you can choose a different decision. A chance where you'll find something you've been looking for. A chance to not fail. A chance to love. A chance to forgive. A chance to ask for forgiveness.

Feeling like hell, Jessica went to Yuri's room for the first time since they lived there. As her hand touched the doorknob, it grounded her entire body. She was nervous, scared. She felt broken. As soon as she opened it, she smelled Yuri's scent that filled the entire room and gave her chills from within. Oh, how she misses Yuri. She saw the expected organized Yuri. Everything's in place. Very neat and clean. But the one that caught her attention is the wall across the bed with hundreds of polaroid photos of them hanging on layered strings. It almost filled the entire wall. And at the center of it, is their first-ever picture taken at the hospital after the incident with Jessica's autograph. Her thumb Yuri's face on the picture and without notice, tears start to wet her face. 

She looks at every picture remembering the exact moments that happened in those times. She sat on the bed while looking at them.

All this time Yul, it's still us. It's still me. She thought as she wiped away her tears.

She looks at the computer table by the window. She went there and sat on the chair. She flips open Yuri's laptop and sees a picture of her as the wallpaper. A photo of her during Yuri's birthday, when they made their relationship official. She closes it without peeking at anything. She saw Yuri's camera on the other side and turned it on. Thousands of pictures surprised her and triggered her tears to fall endlessly. She then remembered Yuri's statement during the QnA. Yuri wanted to show these to her but she missed all her chances. This is the first time and maybe the only time she'll ever get to see those pictures. She was in awe. She suddenly felt proud. She wanted Yuri to do this. She always encourages Yuri to pursue her passion.

Still the best photographer. She thought after turning off the camera and putting it back in its place.

On the other side is a notebook with doodles on the cover. She flipped on the first page and saw a small title on it, "Yul, Fighting!"

She flips on the next page.

Day 1

Indeed, it's Yuri's diary. Jessica has been suggesting to her to stop writing and just put all her notes on her phone or laptop but Yuri didn't listen. Writing notes, letters, or having to use a diary is like her memoir to her mom who taught her how important it is to cherish moments through handwriting.

You made a mistake, Yul. Pay for it. Do everything. No room for excuses. You can't get tired. :(

Jessica stared at it for a moment. It was one of the moments she hoped never happened. The one she hoped she'll forget but sometimes, things don't go the way we want.

She randomly opens a page.

Day 39

She didn't eat the breakfast I prepared. Maybe it doesn't look good. Guess I have to study more about the garnish and plating. Promise I'll make time after filming my drama.

She came home late and she didn't touch the dinner too. I know, she's tired. I remember when I was tired from filming and I went home straight to my bed. She feels the same.

That's okay Love. Tomorrow is another day again!

Jessica flips on another random page as her tears continue to fall.

Day 49

At least I get to take her home. Yey! Way to go Yul!

Day 53

When can I sleep next to you again, Love? Missing you so bad. :(

Day 122

First day in LA. You got this Yul! The sunrise probably helped. Kaja!!!

Day 143

I know I messed up. Sorry love. I should have answered the questions properly.

Day 214

Yul what the ?!  Stupid! You're such a loser! 

Day 321

Heart, I know you're tired. I'm sorry. Don't worry, soon, you'll get to breathe again freely. Soon. 

Jessica flips on the last note.

Day 361

Taeyeon asked me yesterday if Jessica still remembers my birthday. Well... I hope she does. I know how ed up it was last year and I can't blame her. And if she chooses to forget it then.. okay. But I also hope that our celebration later will go well. That could be the best gift.

C'mon universe! Please take my side this time!

Keeping my fingers crossed.

She closed the diary while holding it in her chest and cried harder. It made her realize how tough the days were for Yuri. Yuri chose not to mention and describe how she felt every single day but Jessica felt that her woman's been hell the whole time.

"She didn't come home?" Krystal asked as soon as she reached the living room. Jessica is sitting on the couch by the window looking outside.

Jessica shook her head not looking back at Krystal.

Krystal sits next to her.

"Have you had breakfast? I can cook for you."

Jessica looks down at her hands.

"I'm not hungry Krys. Go ahead, and eat. I'll be fine." Jessica said then looked outside again.

Yuri arrived at the gate of the house. Her chest starts to feel heavy again but she knows it won't last long anymore.

With almost no energy left in her body, Yuri managed to walk to the door and get inside the house. She saw a glimpse of the sisters in the living room but she looked away.

Krystal saw her right away and stood up.

"Yuri." She says.

Jessica looks back and with relief on her face, she stands up wanting to get close to Yuri.

Yuri stares at the dining area. Seeing all the flowers and the table she prepared less food makes her chest feel heavier.

Suddenly, her phone rang.

"Yo," Yuri answered. "Yes, I'm home. Just now."

She said to the person she's talking to over the phone.

Yuri continues to talk as she goes upstairs.

"Don't worry I'm okay. Alive and kicking!" Yuri giggled. "I'll just take a bath and I'll call you back."

Yuri ends the call then enters her room leaving the door half-open. Jessica is just right behind her and stopped there.

Yuri took off her coat then went to the bathroom.

Not taking off every piece of clothing left, she opens the shower then lets the warm waterfalls on her head to her body.

She's soaking wet but didn't mind it. She sat on the floor hugging her knees under the shower. Yuri lets out her last bitter tears drain with the water that's cleansing her bleeding soul.

Yuri is in her black sports bra and when she comes out after God knows how long she took a bath. She's brushing her hair with a towel when she saw Jessica sitting on a chair near the door.

They didn't talk. No one dared.

Yuri opens her closet and gets a plain white sweater and puts it on. She then gets selected hanging clothes and puts them on the bed. Jessica looked surprised observing Yuri's actions. She knew that things will turn out this way from last night but she can't believe that it's really happening now. Yuri gets her phone and AirPods. A second later, she's talking to someone again.

"I'm packing my things now."

"Yes, I know. Don't worry I still have time."

Jessica wonders who she is talking to but Yuri never calls the person on the other line by its name. Yuri starts removing the cloth hanger from her clothes then folds them. After she's done with the clothes, she puts all her pairs of shoes in their respective shoe bags except for the one she's going to wear.

"Not really. I only have a few things here so it's easier to pack. I won't bring everything. Just my things."

As Jessica sees all the piled-up clothes on Yuri's bed, and shoe bags, she's starting to feel more tense now. Every single time Yuri moves is a second she misses her chance to either stop Yuri or just simply talk to her.

Yuri gets her backpack from her closet then starts to put her hand-carry necessities. Laptop, tablet, the camera on her computer table, and the diary. Pouches, perfumes, and some skincare essentials in the bathroom.  Book on the end table of her bed and her sketchpad.

She stares at the polaroid photo wall for a moment then starts to pull the string of photos. Seeing the photos detach from the wall, Jessica felt a tug inside her chest. It is as if every piece of Yuri is starting to detach from her body too. Yuri didn't arrange them properly. She just pulled the entire string and binds all the photos together then puts it on the bed.

Yuri pulls out her large silver luggage from the corner then opens it then starts to put her things there. 

The sound of the luggage getting unlocked made Jessica feel a tremor of unease. All her fears start to manifest in her body as it begins to shake internally. 

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter