Chapter IV

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Elle Korea's scoop with the best actress of this generation.

Interviewer: How did you feel when your name was called [for being the best actress]?

Soojoo: [laughing] I wasn't expecting it. You could see that through me as I continue to be seated after 10 seconds. Jun Ji-Hyun sunbaenim tapped me two times saying, Go! You deserve it! That's when I realized it is me who really won. This is the 3rd time I got this reward [showing the trophy]. I'm still thankful—to my fans, my colleagues, the critiques, judges, to my mom who thought the same [as I got the best actress award]. I cried when I went back to my seat. Ji-Hyun unnie was too kind to offer me some tissue. I'm thankful, yes. [smiling to the camera]

Interviewer: What message would you like to tell the people who look up to you?

Soojoo: Don't look up to me. We should always meet eye-to-eye. I'm no different from you. I could say I'm privileged, but other than that, please don't look up to me. I'm a human too—I make mistakes. Even if I do, I'll try my best to get better every day. To whoever is reading this, I would like you to know I'm just like you. I feel sad, lonely, too. Even if mine might seem to be petty, please remember every person has a different way to cope up with life. And I will always be thankful to all of you, for staying with me. I read your messages online from time to time [chuckling]. They mean a lot to me. Thank you.

Interviewer: Are you dating someone now?

Soojoo: [laughing] I am not. But there is someone.

Interviewer: Can you give us a hint of who this man is?

Soojoo: No. Someone. This person makes me think twice. I mean, with my actions. It's hard to know what this person feels, but we're still getting to know each other. [smiling] I'm looking forward to our journey together. For now, I'm glad I am spending time with them.

Interviewer: No hints?

Soojoo: [waves her pointing finger sideways to the camera; laughing]



"Seungwan said she didn't drive you home, did something happen?" Soojoo queried as she set up her Netflix account on her TV. 

"Do you want the truth or the lie?" I teased.

"The lie," then I turned my head to her. "What?" I asked, puzzled at her choice. Then Soojoo beamed, just a little, enough for me to feel safe, "You wouldn't include the lie in the option if you wanted to tell me the truth," she reasoned out. I wanted to cry, not because of what happened to Seungwan and me, but because Soojoo has always been thoughtful about how I will feel ever since we met.

"Jesus," I murmured, "You deserve someone who would give you the world," I nonchalantly spoke. It was supposed to be in my mind, I accidentally said it out loud. 

"I don't need the world," Soojoo returned. "I only need a home," and it got at the back of my head. She's right, I wouldn't argue about that.

"Hi!" Seungwan entered, at her side is Sejeong. They made their way on the couch hand in hand. 

"Are we late?" Seungwan asked. 

"No, we're still picking," Soojoo answered as she continue to browse for a movie to watch. 

I didn't dare to look at Seungwan... or Sejeong. I already feel suffocated knowing they are here.

"Joohyun, you look stunning," Sejeong compliment, "I mean, more, now, you look like you're still in your early 20s," she said. There was a part of me who wanted to roll my eyes, but I didn't. That would be a terrible thing to do to someone who finds you "stunning".

"Thank you," I replied, "You too," I didn't say the both of you too. I still want to be genuine even after knowing about them—in a relationship. It's not the time for me to acknowledge it yet. I'm just finding ways to avoid any alone time with Seungwan. 

They decided to watch Catch Me If You Can wherein Leonard DiCaprio and Tom Hanks are the lead. All of us are quiet. From time to time, Soojoo would ask if we are comfortable or if we need anything else. Soojoo's couch is L-shaped, it was long; giving us a lot of space as we are paired by twos. Seungwan and Sejeong are shamelessly cuddling at the corner, while Soojoo and I are sitting at the other side. It took all my might to not stare at my left, thanking Soojoo in my head that she is covering the view.

"Are you okay?" she whispered, moving close to me. I nod my head. "If you want to rest, we can go to my room?" She offered. 

"I will tell you," I informed her. "Do you like this movie?" I asked, already knowing what the upcoming scenes are. 

"Yes?" she replied unsurely. Then she stared into my eyes, "But you're distracting me," 

"I am not," I whispered.

"Yes, you are," then her eyes diverted on my hand—our hands. It dawned to me I unconsciously grabbed hers, encircling my pointing finger on her palm. Is that the reason why she asked if I am okay? "Sorry," I told her, ready to remove my grasp but she held me tighter.

"Don't be, I like your warmth," she told me, her eyes now glued to the screen.

I excused myself after minutes passed. It feels weird... seeing Seungwan being open about her uality. Not that I'm not proud she came out, but I'm still disappointed on knowing it just now. I can't help but to think, what if I waited? Would there be any difference, then? 

"Joohyun," a voice c

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