August 2015

Klaire just got back home from the hair saloon for her weekly fancy celebrity hair treatment. Before she punched in the passcode, she could hear long nails scratching on the other side of the door. She opened it carefully so it wouldn't hit whatever thing that was camping behind that door.

"Prince!!!" She greeted the excited dog even more excitedly. The little fluffy dog stood on his two legs, putting its paws to the girl's laps when she kneeled down to scratch behind his ears. Prince gave a soft grumble, enjoying the attention he got.

Klaire saw someone peeked her head from the living room. She gave a nod of acknowledgement when the person waved at her while busying herself playing with the cute little dog, secretly hoping that by the time she walked inside the living room, that person would not be there anymore. Unfortunately, she started hearing people talking. 'Oh great, seems like they're all home.' She assumed. Klaire patted Prince's head one last time before making her way to the next room.

Not long after Jessica left, Klaire went on an indefinite hiatus, citing health issues to the public. Ever since that, she rarely got to see her group members anymore, especially those who were not living in the dorm. The current residents of the 4-bedroom condo were Taeyeon, Sunny, Tiffany and herself. 

For Sunny, it was mostly sleepover, since her parents’ house was located not far away from their dorm. She just preferred staying at the dorm because she had to come home late for her radio show and other schedules. Being the considerate daughter that she was, she didn’t want to keep making her parents worry by constantly getting home so late. The other members stayed overnight sometimes depending on the schedule they had the next day, mostly ones  where they had to get to the airport early in the morning.

However, ever since her hiatus in April, Klaire went to bed early and woke up early like a normal person; which was the main reason why she didn’t see her members often eventhough they lived under the same roof because as expected of an idol, you either went to bed after two or had to be in the hair shop getting your hair and make-up done before sunrise.

"What's up?" Klaire greeted three of the Girls' Generation's current oldest members, trying to be as natural as possible. Taeyeon and Sunny smiled and greeted her back; while Tiffany, who she had saw earlier, just threw a quick glance before going back to writing on her notebook.

"You guys are home early." She stated to start some conversation.

"Only because we have to work the whole day tomorrow." Sunny explained grumpily.

"Have you eaten?" Taeyeon asked. "We just came back from dinner so there's nothing here."

"Not yet. I'll just make some ramyun or something, no worries!" She shouted while making her way to the kitchen.

Klaire walked to the built-in cupboards, hoping there were packs of ramyun left. Fortunately there was one last one. 'Thank God.' She silently praised the Lord. She took her time cooking, much longer than usual eventhough she prefered her noodle undercooked. And again, she hoped the girls would be gone by the time she finished. But no, for whatever reason they were still there 15 minutes later, busy doing their own things.

If there was one thing you need to know about Klaire Han, the girl almost never ate on the dining table. She preferred to dine at the coffee table instead, sitting on the floor watching her mood-booster American sitcoms. And today, only today, she regretted that bad habit of hers. It wasn't like she could suddenly sit on the dining table just because the girls were in the living room. It would be too obvious that she didn’t want their company. So there she was, sitting surrounded by her unnies.

"Have you been eating this a lot lately?" Sunny asked when she slurped her first spoonful of the spicy soup. "I remember stocking up a lot of ramyun last month and there was only one left when I checked earlier."

"Really?" Klare asked absent-mindedly, too busy enjoying her supper.

"I think it's time for you to go grocery shopping again because that last ramyun is going inside Klaire's stomach now." Taeyeon said, smacking Sunny's thigh.

"No way!" Sunny protested loudly. "I was the last one doing it. And I was also the one going to the convenience store past midnight because Ms. Pink Piggy here was craving strawberry ice cream."

"Hey!" Tiffany threw her pink fluffy pencil case to the girl who insulted her.

"Okay, I'll go grocery shopping tomorrow. Don't start World War III here!" Klaire quickly jumped in, albeit knowing that the girls were just joking.

"Still, you shouldn't eat too much of that." Sunny started again

"It's unhealthy… and fattening. I know." Klaire interrupted Sunny before she could finish her grandma nags.

"We can cook for you, you know." Taeyeon offered. "Put it in the fridge and you can heat it up anytime you want."

"Nah, thanks!" Klaire quickly rejected the kind offer. "You guys are already too busy with comeback and stuff. Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself."

"While you're currently doing nothing, why don't you take cooking lesson?" Tiffany cut in. Klaire could feel her slight judging tone.

"Haven't I told you before? It's not that I can't cook. I just simply don't like being around knives and all those other sharp things."

"You and your hundred thousands of phobias." Tiffany shook her head.

"Oh please, that's bull. You really can't cook, though." Sunny said pushing Klaire's head, who was eating ramyun, making the soup splattered all over the table.

"YAAAAAA!!!!"

And that was when World War III really happened in the peaceful dorm of Girls' Generation.

-

It had been a while since the last time they conversed normally as things started to get weird after Jessica left. There was an obvious elephant in the room but they all just tip-toed around it. Klaire, on the other hand, was never really good at lying or hiding her emotions, especially when she did not even intend to hide it. That was probably why the company and her members didn’t really mind when she asked permission to take a hiatus from the group's activities.

To be really honest, some of them were even relieved to not have her around for their new album promotion. Since her teenage days, Klaire had always been more mature than people her age. She was a very rational and realistic person, but when something did not go her way, she could be really difficult to handle at times. 

Klaire didn’t like to be controlled.  She just wanted to be herself, to be a normal human being, to be someone who could stand for herself. Ironically, those were the qualities you were not allowed to have if you wanted to live peacefully as an idol. To be an idol, you needed to follow the rules at all times. Do as what you were told. To sing eventhough you were having a sore throat. To dance eventhough your sprained ankle had not perfectly healed. To laugh and be as energetic as possible eventhough you only had two hours of sleep that day.

It was truly a miracle how Klaire survived being an idol for 8 years. "Singing, my fans and my members are the things that keep me going." That was what she said when people questioned her for staying in the business that did not suit her personality at all. The 16 year old Klaire once said, "Keep pretending to be someone who isn't really you, one day you'll wake up not knowing who you really are anymore." And with that, the girl influenced her older members to stay true to themselves.

Having a new album meant comeback stages, interviews, talk shows, variety shows and many more other opportunities to have big lenses focus on your face. Judging by how uncooperative Klaire had been since her favourite unnie left, her members and the company were skeptical that Klaire could pull off the group's promotion well.

In the end, it was bittersweet for the member