October 2015

"Aaaaaahhh!" Screams were heard at Girls' Generation dorm that night as Hyoyeon dropped a hall-full bottle of champagne to the floor making the golden liquid splashed everywhere, accompanied by broken pieces of glass.

It was almost eleven at night and they were celebrating the release of Taeyeon's first album. Her debut as a solo artist.

"Yo, chill! I'll clean this up." Hyoyeon slurred after hearing her friends cursing at her for making a big mess.

"Don't touch it, you're wasted. I'm not driving you to the emergency room if you cut yourself." Sunny warned the clearly intoxicated girl. She scanned the room and commanded, half-giggling. "Yul, you drank the least tonight."

"So?" Yuri gave her the side eye. The other girls started laughing.

"So clean up your friend's mess." 

"That crazy woman is not my friend." She objected, distancing herself from the troublemaker.

Hyoyeon was laughing, for some reason feeling happy being called crazy and wasn't acknowledge as a friend. The rest of the girls joined in the laugh. Nothing was funny, but when you had too much to drink, everything became laughworthy.

Sooyoung was already making an escape to the nearest bedroom to avoid being picked for the cleaning duty. Sunny yelled at her right before the door slammed shut.

"KwonYul, I'll give you ₩5.000 to clean it." Hyoyeon said, and hiccuped. Everybody laughed again.

"This crazy woman seriously. You drive a Range Rover and you're only offering me ₩5.000?" Yuri protested.

Hyoyeon went to her bag, sloppily fished out a ₩10.000 crisp bill and throw it to Yuri. "There, keep the change."

The whole house went crazy with laughter once again. Alcohol was truly a magical poison.

-

Knock knock.

Taeyeon looked up from her phone. "Come in!"

The door opened, revealing Klaire in her pyjamas. "Unnie, you're not sleeping yet?"

"In a while. I'm just looking through something." She said, eyes back to her phone.

"Reviews? They're all good, I checked. You're doing really well on the charts too." Klaire smiled, proud of her fellow member.

Taeyeon smiled. "What's up?"

"Nothing, just checking on you."

"Here, sit!" Taeyeon patted a spot on her bed, moving her tablet to her side. Klaire opted to sit on the floor instead, back facing the wall.

"How does it feel?" Klaire asked.

"What? Going solo?" Taeyeon confirmed, looking down to where her friend was sitting.

Klaire nodded.

"Great. Excited. Nervous. Amazing." Taeyeon grinned.

"Do you feel like when we first debuted?"

Taeyeon though for a while before answering, "Yeah, but less nervous, more excited. Although more pressure as well because I'm alone."

"I see." Klaire nodded her head repeatedly.

"Remember when we were worried about having too few lines because there were nine-.. so many of us in a group?"

Klaire noticed the slip, but she said nothing.

"Now I feel like having too many lines." Taeyeon went on. "Kinda expecting someone else would sing so I could take a breath, you know what I mean?"

Klaire nodded. She felt something similar when she sang one of her drama soundtracks alone on music show.

"So, when are you going to show me those songs you've been composing?" Taeyeon asked with a grin on her face.

Klaire was flustered by the sudden strike. "What songs? I was just playing random notes on the piano."

"Oh, please. What I heard were definitely your own creations. They sounded sad and depressing, like you." The kid leader cackled.

"Ya! They are not depressing. It's.. melancholic. You know how much I like sad movies and sad songs." Klaire said, defending herself.

Of course she knew. In fact, she still remember the 13 year-old little girl who sang BMK's 'When Spring Comes' for SM's trainee assessment day, impressing while at the same time confusing everyone as to why this little girl, who probably have never been in love before, singing so passionately about heartbreak and devastation. Taeyeon tried her best not to laugh at the memory, clearing  while fixating her eyes at the younger girl's.

"So you are composing songs?" She raised an eyebrow.

"It's just for fun. I don't think I can ever go solo. Not after all this."

"What do you mean?" Taeyeon asked, half-confused, half-knowing what she meant.

"SONEs hate me now."

"They don't."

"They do."

Taeyeon grabbed her Peas-in-a-Pod plushy toy and threw it to the stubborn girl. "Real fans would understand. You health must be your number one priority." She reasoned.

"What health? Everyone knows my shoulder is fine now, I can't use this excuse forever." Klaire said, suddenly rolling the joint of her shoulder in a big circular motion.

Taeyeon sighed. "Your mental health."

Klaire rolled her eyes hearing that. She pondered before saying, "It doesn't feel right. With me taking hiatus during an important comeback, then suddenly going solo. I'm not that shameless, unnie."

Taeyeon sat up straight, "Then get ready for our next comeback." She said. The tone sounded more like a command than a suggestion. "Do your best, or at least pretend that your heart is still in this. After that you can release your solo album, no one will say anything. You're a great singer, Klaire. SONEs would be estatic to see you go solo."

The leader's words somehow made her feel ashamed. "My heart is still in this group. I just need some time to.. you know.." She mumbled.

Taeyeon nodded. "Then take your time, as long as you want." She got off her bed to align herself with Klaire. "If the company or any of our members try to mess with you for this, I'll stand up for you.  It might not always feel like it but I'm still the leader after all. You're my responsibility."

Klaire looked at her, astonished and touched. "Thank you." She muttered softly, her hand grabbing Taeyeon to give her a squeeze of appreciation.

"But remember,