Jimin

I watched in remorse as Elle's casket was lowered to the ground. For days of often crying, I felt like I was already numb, as I couldn't get over the guilt that was eating me alive. I started to have nightmares and in them, I always saw the horrified look she gave me when she realized what I did. It was haunting me, the reason why I hardly sleep, feeling like I might go insane.

Elle may be the enemy but she didn't deserve to die. I took away the chance of her to possibly change and live a normal life, and if the situation was different, I would have done something without killing her, but I knew that no matter what I did, she wouldn't stop until she could kill Minjeong.

Elle didn't give me much of a choice at that time. I had to kill her to save Minjeong and if I had to do that over again, I would. I knew I would be feeling guilty for the rest of my life, but it was something I could live for than living the life without Minjeong in it. I would do anything for her, even if it meant I had to kill someone in order to protect her.

"You okay?" Minjeong asked as she pulled me closer.

I laid my head on her shoulder, "I will be," I mumbled as a tear rolled down my cheek. I thought I had cried it all but I guessed I was wrong.

She sighed, "Come on, it's not good to strain yourself too much," she said and I nodded weakly before looking back to the ground.

"I'll see you one day Elle... Goodbye," I mumbled before letting Minjeong guide me to the car where my parents were waiting patiently.

As decided, Elle's death and funeral had been kept secret as we couldn't risk exposing anything to the public that would link to the Agency, but that aside, I felt like it was what Red would have wanted for her sister, even if she confused me as to why left her sister's body to us. I saw how she looked so devastated at that time, I couldn't tell what she was thinking, but a part of me was a little glad she did it, as I owe it to Elle, to at least give her a proper funeral.

As we got inside the SUV, I snuggled closer to Minjeong, instantly feeling her warmth which somehow eased me, while my parents decided to sit in the middle. The car was wrapped in silence and I couldn't be more grateful for it as I was too tired to talk or even start a conversation.

"You're looking pale, are you sure you're okay?" Minjeong mumbly asked as she kissed my forehead.

I nodded weakly, "Just a little tired."

"Okay." Thankful she didn't persist, I rested my head on her chest, listening to the soft beating of her heart. I was glad she stayed by my side, so as my parents, helping me get through with this. They were the ones who were keeping me sane all this time and I couldn't be more grateful to them.

As the silence still lingered, my eyelids started to grow heavy, I could barely open my eyes. The heaviness in my heart had started to ebb away as I centered my attention to Minjeong instead. This was what I liked, me wrapped in her arms, as it somewhat helped me bring a peace of mind. It was one of her gestures that really calmed me down. And before I surrendered to unconsciousness, I heard her mumbled 'I love you' before kissing my forehead, making me think back on to why I fell hard for this girl.

After a two-hour drive, we finally reached Minjeong's white house where we were staying since I got out of the hospital five days ago. As we got inside the house, I asked Minjeong to guide me upstairs so I could rest and she nodded, aiding me until we reached her room and helped me sat down the bed.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked as she bent down in front of me, a look of concern was written in her expression.

"I'm fine babe, I just need to sleep for a while."

She nodded before standing up, "Okay. I'll let you sleep now. If you need anything, just call me or your parents, we'll be downstairs," she said as she walked to the door.

"Actually..." I looked up when I thought of something, "can you stay with me? I could use some company," I said, hopeful. She opened but closed it eventually before approaching me.

She sighed, "You know I want to, but you're parents are here."

"Well, it's not like we're gonna do something."

She put her hand atop mine, "I know, but I don't want them to think I'm disrespecting them."

"Fine, I can't convince you, can I?" I relented, letting out a disappointed sigh at the same time. She cupped my cheek, making me gaze back at her, and she smiled weakly.

"Nope. Go to sleep, I'll wake you up when dinner's ready," she said before capturing my lips, kissing me briefly.

She then stood up and walked out of the room, leaving me wanting her. Feeling disappointed, I carefully tuck myself on the bed, and before long, I was pulled into sleep.

*

I stirred awake and slowly lifted myself, careful not to strain too much, to look at the clock on the bedside table. It was already seven in the evening and frankly, I was a little hungry but didn't feel like eating. Around this time was my usual dinner but after everything that happened, I didn't think I could eat properly.

As I was about to pull the cover off, wanting to go to the bathroom, the door suddenly swung open and came in Minjeong, holding a tray of food, and when she caught sight of me, her face instantly lightened up as she flashed a wide smile.

"I was about to wake you beautiful... Perfect timing," she said as she weakly kicked the door shut and strode towards me.

"Babe, you don't have to do that. I don't really have an appetite."

She settled down the tray on the bed with a sigh, "Yooji, you need to eat. Look at you, you're getting thinner."

"I know, I just don't feel like eating."

"Well, you need to eat whether you like it or not, even if it means I have to feed you."

I rolled my eyes at her stubbornness, "God babe, you really don't take no for an answer, do you?"

She smirked, "Not really. Now, open your mouth," she said as she held a spoonful of food to my mouth. I stared at her for a moment before my gaze shifted to the food in front of me. It looked really delicious and since I couldn't convince Minjeong to let me be, I decided to open my mouth and welcomed the food. As soon as the taste melted inside my mouth, I could tell with no doubt that mom made it. Her chicken skillet was the most delicious food I ever tasted and it was a shame how I refused to eat it in the first place.

"Delish?" she asked, smiling.

I nodded, "Definitely, and I could tell this is mom's cooking."

"Bingo. Your mom really is a great cook. I wish I could cook stuff like this, but I don't think that's possible considering I don't like cooking," she said jokingly causing me to instantly chuckle.

"You're crazy," I commented.

"Well, at least I made you smile."

I took a deep breath, "Yeah... I needed that."

She tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and smiled. "I know you do... More?" she asked as she gestured to the food.

"Yes please."

I finished my dinner not long after and decided to help Minjeong in washing the dishes. I admit, I had a nice dinner, not only because I got to taste my mom's delicious cooking once again, but also because Minjeong was feeding me, that I enjoyed the time. I knew I was taking advantage of my situation that I let her feed me, but I didn't want to stop her as I was liking the attention and the time she was giving me.

After we were done with our work, and checking the security system and the bodyguards outside, Minjeong and I hung out for a while in the living room before she accompanied me upstairs to her bedroom. As soon as our time had ended, like a switch, I was back to my lonely self, as I sat inclined on the bed, thinking I would be sleeping alone again. Even though I understood her, I was still disappointed as I liked having her near me.

"Anything else you need?" she asked when she held the door open, ready to go downstairs.

"I'm okay, I just wish you're sleeping beside me, I'm sure it would help me with my nightmares."

"Oh babe..." she mumbled, disappointed.

"I totally understand, it's just that... I don't want to be alone and I couldn't just ask mom or dad to sleep with me. That's why I'm hoping you could accompany me..." I bit the insides of my cheeks when she averted her gaze from mine, making me realize how selfish I sounded. I kept on asking her to stay with me even if my parents told her not to, even if I knew she was having a hard time following what they wanted. I was adding to her conflicting feelings and now I felt bad.

"On second thought...I don't want to keep you long babe, I think you should go to sleep...I'll be fine, I can manage." I added, mustering up a small smile.

She clenched her jaw as she lingered for a moment as if debating what she would do but eventually decided when I heard her sigh. "Okay..." she mumbled weakly, "I'll see you in the morning babe. Goodnight..."

"Goodnight." She immediately made her way out of the room after hearing my response, and as soon as she was out, my smile instantly faded as I stared at the closed door. Sometimes I hated how acquiescent she was in following orders, that when she was set to do it, it would be hard to change her mind.

With a defeated sigh, I laid down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, hoping sleep would come sooner with no nightmares. Having a goodnight sleep was what I wanted but it had became impossible since that incident. I tried to push away the bad thoughts that were starting to invade my mind and forget the guilt just for tonight, and somehow it was working as few minutes after, my eyes had started to droop and before I knew it, I was pulled into slumber.

* 

I fluttered my eyes open anda dim room had greeted my vision. I could barely see anything in the room and it got me disoriented for a moment, not knowing where I was...but judging by the scent, I knew I was in Minjeong's room.

I pulled myself up and reached out to my side to turn on the table lamp, unfortunately, the thing didn't seem to work. Sighing, I pulled the cover off, getting off the bed and walked out of the room, hoping to find Minjeong or my parents. I didn't know what time it was as the clock wasn't on the bedside table. But whatever time it was now, I didn't think I could get back to sleep anytime soon.

I reached downstairs, and headed to the living room where I immediately saw Minjeong, sitting opposite my parents. They quieted down when I came in and judging from their looks, I knew they were discussing something important.

"Hey... I didn't know you guys are having a meeting. Mind if I join? "I said, trying to get their attention as they didn't even look at me when I appeared. 

When they stayed quiet, unmoved, I realized something was up. Frowning, I strode towards them and noticed they were just staring at each other.

"Okay guys, whatever it is you're pulling here, it's not working. You should stop."

"You shouldn't have killed her babe," Minjeong suddenly spoke up causing my attention to turn to her. What was she trying to say?

"I know what I did was unforgivable...but I had to do it."

"You shouldn't have killed her Jimin," mom spoke up.

"Now, she's going to kill us," dad added making me frown.

"What are you talking about dad?" I didn't understand what was going on, but I wanted them to stop as it was making me frustrated and confused.

"Now, she's going to kill us," Minjeong repeated, and before I could ask what she meant by it, a gunshot rang out, and when I turned to my parents, I saw my mom fell to the floor, a bullet wound was on the back of her head. I stood frozen in shock as my gaze landed on the woman aiming her gun, standing behind my parents with a smirk.

"Red?" I breathed, unable to move. I was about to run to mom's side but something was pulling me back in place, I couldn't move. I felt helpless that I just cried my heart out, unable to do anything.

"You killed Elle...You killed my sister, and I'm gonna make you pay for it, by killing the ones you care about...while you stand there...unable to save them."

"No, no...please stop!" I begged making her smirk. She raised the gun once again, aiming it on my dad's head, and instantly pulled the trigger. I screamed in horror as I watched my dad slumped on the couch, dead.

"Death is just an easy way out for you Jimin..."she spoke as she rounded the couch and stopped in front of Minjeong who was still staring blankly ahead, "You don't deserve to die... You deserve to live and suffer...to carry the burden of an endless guilt... You brought this upon yourself Jimin."

"No, please just stop..." I cried, "I'm begging you...please...just kill me instead."

She smirked, "Say goodbye to your lover." She raised the gun, pointing it to Minjeong's chest...and pulled the trigger.

"NO!!!"

I jolted awake, panting heavily as tears instantly blurred my vision and promptly pulled my knees to my chest and started sobbing. The nightmares were getting worse each time, I didn't know how long I could deal with them. They were breaking me down inside, and all I wanted was for them to go away.

As I rocked my body slowly, trying to calm myself down, the sudden roar of thunder made me yelp in surprise. I was so caught up at the moment that I didn't realize there was a thunderstorm going on. I promptly shrugged the cover off and got off the bed then ran to the bathroom. When I reached inside, I hastily turn on the shower and briefly stared at the pouring water before letting myself to slowly sink in to the floor and cried once again. I was afraid and miserable right now, I needed someone to talk to as I felt like I was going to explode if I kept it all in any longer. I couldn't deal with this alone anymore.

Few minutes after, as if I was heard, the door suddenly flew open and Minjeong came in, looking worried.

"Yooji," she breathed when she saw me and bent down, pulling me into a hug right away. She let out a huge sigh of relief as she gently rubbed my back while I cried hard against her chest, thankful she was here.

"Thank you," I mumbled in between sobs.

"Shh, I'm here. You don't have to be afraid anymore. Come on, let's get you back to sleep."

I shook my head and looked at her, "I can't...T-They're getting worse Minjeong."

"What's getting worse?"

I looked at her, "The nightmares. This time, Red had killed you and my parents...I-I don't want to sleep anymore."

"Oh Yooji..." She pulled me into a hug once again, "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for letting you deal with this alone. Please forgive me."

I pulled away once again and cupped her cheeks, I could see she was crying. "You're here now, that's what matters to me Minjeong-ah."

She faintly nodded, "I will stay by your side, I won't ever leave," she mumbled before pulling me into a brief kiss.

We stayed in the bathroom until I had calmed down before going back to bed. The heavy rain had finally calmed down once we got out, alleviating my fear and somewhat easing me. As we laid on the bed, I instantly snuggled closer to Minjeong, feeling her warmth as she wrapped her arms around me. I felt comfortable and secured with her beside me and knowing she was beside me somewhat eased the fear of falling back to sleep.

*

I pried my eyes open as I touched the side of the bed finding it empty. Yawning, I pulled myself to a sitting position while I stared at the empty space before turning to look at the clock as it read 11:21 in the morning.

I smiled how I managed to sleep through the morning as the nightmare didn't come back when Minjeong had slept beside me. It was all thanks to her that I got a good long sleep which I had been hoping for the last few days. Right now, I felt like I could breathe again and the heaviness that I was feeling inside had somehow alleviated.

As I took my time to compose myself, the door opened and Minjeong strode in, plastering a wide smile.

"Good morning babe, slept well?" Her uplifting voice had made me smile as I nodded in response. "That's good to know."

"Yeah, thanks to you I had a good sleep."

"Look..." she walked up and took a seat beside me, "I'm sorry I haven't been there for you when you needed me. I was so occupied in following your parents' order that I didn't know you were having a difficult time."

"Oh babe, you have nothing to be sorry for. You did what you had to do and I understand that..." I cupped her cheek, "stop beating yourself over this."

"God, I told myself to liven up, for you," she said chuckling, "but now I'm getting emotional."

I chuckled, "You're adorable, you know that?" I said before taking a peck at her lips, "Thank you babe."

"Always...Anyway, I hope you're up for a brunch...outside?"

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