It was cold. Hyemi shivered from the cold while she was sitting on her heels, feeling uncomfortable in her black dress as the smell of burning incense lingered in the air. The funeral parlor in Seoul National University Hospital was decorated with standing sprays with condolence messages. On the altar a photo of a young, handsome man could be seen, surrounded by white chrysanthemums. 

In the hall, food and drink was served, as the elder men were playing card games, engaged in talking. Mrs. Suh offered more food to the guests, hiding her tears every time she greeted someone, with the help of Hyemi’s mother. Mr. Suh stayed by his younger son and Hyemi, greeting the people who came to pay their respect. 

Haechan, Nari and Taeil also arrived early. After paying their condolences, Haechan suggested they help Mrs. Suh. They went to the hall and Nari told the tired woman to rest for a bit and they would manage everything, Mrs. Suh nodding gratefully.

Hyemi couldn’t understand. She couldn’t understand how can people laugh and talk and play ing card games while someone died and they came here to pay their respect. It was the same when she’d attended Granny Suh’s and her own grandparent’s funeral. She just couldn’t wrap her mind around the process of grieving. Should she cry like Mrs. Suh and Johnny? Should she frown like Mr. Suh? Should she be indifferent like those people who came but barely knew Simon? What was the right way to say goodbye? What was the right way to behave? How should one mourn?

The first day of the funeral was painful and tiring enough. As at most traditional Korean funerals, the family of the deceased had to spend two nights and three days at the funeral hall, and Hyemi politely asked the Suh’s if she could stay too. Mrs. Suh caressed her face and nodded, while Mr. Suh prepared the blankets in the other room. They were lying on the floor, with hard pillows and neither of them could sleep that night. 

The second day wasn’t better either. Some of Simon’s college friends came, Shiwoo came with the whimpering Moon Soyi, grabbing the girl’s shoulder firmly, also more of Mr. Suh’s colleagues attended. Hyemi and Johnny were still sitting close to the altar, Nari, Haechan and Taeil a bit further away.

“I’m so sorry dear.” a wrinkly woman bowed to Mr. Suh, who nodded in return. The woman examined Hyemi next to him, then averted her gaze back at the man. “I didn’t know you had a daughter.”

“No.” he shook his head. “She was Simon’s girlfriend, but sure it feels like she’s my own family.” he held Hyemi’s hand and patted it comforting.

Hyemi set her eyes at the floor and felt her cheeks burning. Was. She was Simon’s girlfriend. That simple sentence made her nauseas and she wanted to throw up. She still didn’t shed a single tear, one might have thought she was coldhearted. She peeked at Johnny beside her. He was staring at the photo as hot tears rolled down his cheeks and sobbed uncontrollably. Hyemi reached out her hand, Johnny noticing it, he held her hand and she tightened her grip around it. 

Johnny leaned closer and buried his face onto her shoulders as he cried loudly, making the people around look at them with sympathy in their eyes. She caressed his back as her eyes were glued to the photo in front of her. She examined Simon’s handsome face and felt her stomach churn. How those piercing eyes would never look at her again. How those lips would never stretch into a smile. How his deep voice would no longer call out her nickname. How her heart would never love someone again. 

“Where’s she?” Mrs. Kang grabbed Johnny’s arm as she tried to choke back the tears. Her husband looked as frightened as her. “How is she?” she demanded.

“They’re running some tests. I have no further information I’m sorry.” was all he said.

“What exactly happened Johnny?” Mr. Kang asked worriedly. 

Johnny was quiet for a moment. He’d got a call that Hyemi had been hit by a car. They’d called him since he’d been saved in her phone as the emergency contact. To say he was panicking was an understatement, he barely managed to come to the hospital. He was trembling, hot tears burnt his eyes.

“Apparently she marched across the street. She didn’t look around and…” he paused. “There was a car and...” he choked on his words. “They’d taken her already when I’ve arrived.”

“Johnny!”

He turned to the female voice. Nari and Haechan were running towards them.

“What happened?” Haechan asked the same question as Mr. Kang.

“I…” the other started but his voice cracked. “I couldn’t protect her.” his tears broke out of his eyes and he sunk to the floor. 

While Hyemi has a few memories of the reception, she couldn’t recall the events of the third day. How they took the coffin to the gravesite and said their last goodbyes to Simon Suh. How Johnny broke down during the ceremony and Haechan had to drag him away, how Mrs. Suh desperately tried to find strength in her husband’s grip on her hand. How Hyemi’s parents held her tightly. She doesn’t remember all that since she was just standing there, numb, not seeing or hearing anything at all, even losing the ability to understand that she’s lost Simon. She was just a shell, a vessel, her soul long gone, along with Simon Suh.

“Why don’t you go home Johnny?” Mrs. Kang asked gently.

The boy looked awfully exhausted. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, he felt dizzy and still hyperventilated for at least two minutes within an hour. 

“No.” he shook his head. “I want to be here when she wakes up.” he was sitting beside her bed, desperately grasping her right hand. “Why doesn’t she wake up? They said her head is fine, then why is she still unconscious?”

“The doctor said it could be because of the shock. Relax, son.” Mr. Kang encouragingly patted his shoulder. 

He let out a sigh and examined the girl on the bed. “Wake up Hyemi. Please.” he whispered, hoping she would hear the desperation in his voice, that she would know how much he needs her. He scouted closer and started combing her hair with his fingers. “You sure scare the out of me every time, Kang Hyemi.”

A few days after the funeral, Johnny was sitting on their porch, staring blankly ahead. His tears were rolling down his face continuously as his heart constricted from pain. He couldn’t really wrap his head around the thought that his brother was no longer there. 

He felt a presence beside him. Tilting his head to the side he saw Hyemi positioning herself beside him, her hand snaking around his, grasping it softly. She wasn’t crying and Johnny remembered that she hadn’t been crying at the funeral either. At first, he thought that Kang Hyemi was the strongest person on Earth, that’s why she could hold back her tears and looked so resilient. 

She didn’t say a word. She just sat beside Johnny, desperately grasping his hand as if her life depended on it and at that moment Johnny thought that they would be fine. It would take them a few months but together they would be definitely fine once again. They would gather the remaining pieces of their hearts and they would put the pieces together to get a whole out of the two. 

A day passed, and Hyemi still hasn’t woken up. Her injuries weren’t serious, however, for some reason, she just hasn’t opened her eyes. It was like her way of protesting. Like she just wanted to rest for a bit and be alone.

 “Still nothing?” Nari stepped in the waiting room. Upon seeing both Jaehyun and Johnny, slumped back in their seats she groaned.

“It’s my fault.” Jaehyun confessed. “I’d told her I loved her and she freaked out.”

“No.” Nari shook her head. “It’s my fault. I’d told you to confront her. I was the one playing wingman for you two. I had the stupid ideas and plans. I was too hard on her, I thought she should be okay now.” she blabbered, Johnny cutting in. 

“No. It’s my fault. I should’ve protected her better.”

Haechan stood up from his seat and made his way towards his three friends. At first he punched Johnny in the cheek, not to aggressively though, just in a way to snap him out of his daze. Johnny’s hand raised to his cheek where it’s met Haechan’s fist, his eyes wide as he yelped.

“Ouch!”

Then Haechan turned to Jaehyun. “You’re too handsome to be punched in the face.” he deadpanned and punched him in the stomach, then he turned towards Nari, who instinctively held her arms in front of her face. Haechan let out a snort. “I’d never hit you.” he stated, the girl lowering her hands only to see Haechan’s arms reaching towards her and pulling on her pony tail. Nari let out a loud whimper and scowled at the younger male. “All of you snap out of it, okay? It’s none of your faults!” he raised his voice. “It’s none of our faults. It was an accident.”

“Bull.” Nari snapped then turned around, leaving them there. 

“Yah, Park Nari!” Haechan called after her but she’s left already.

The stars were shining brightly up in the sky. She felt the soft grass, tickling her feet as she was walking barefoot. Looking around Hyemi tried to guess where she was. Her last memory was her talking to Jaehyun. After that… nothing. She walked further into the darkness, reaching a river. There were no people around, it was quiet, only the soft sound of the river could be heard. Letting out a sigh, she sat down on the ground, grabbed a pebble just to throw it into the water.

“You’re still doing it wrong.” 

Her body froze upon hearing that familiar deep, soothing voice that she yearned to hear again in her life. She felt the presence of a man beside her but she was afraid to look at him. This isn’t a memory; this has never happened. But then? This can’t be. It’s impossible.

The man found a flat pebble and threw it in the water, in a way it looked like it was dancing on the surface before sinking to the bottom.

“Long time no see, Mimi.”

Her heart was throbbing in her chest but she fought her fear and finally had a glance at him. “Simon?” 

“The one and only.” he grinned cockily. 

Hyemi sized him up. He was wearing a simple jeans and a black T-shirt, no shoes, just as herself. His hair was a mess of waves, his forehead. He looked… healthy.

“I missed you so much!” she threw herself in his arms and hugged him firmly. Her tears burned her eyes and she couldn’t hold it back anymore. She let out everything, every suppressed emotion she’d been holding back throughout these two years.

“I missed you too Mimi.” he patted the top of her head and gently caressed her back. “You’ve been doing great.”

“No. I’m a mess.” she wiped her cheeks and buried her head deeper into his embrace.

He patted the top of her head as he always did. “Don’t say that. You went back to school, you attended Haechan’s parties and you went on dates. That’s good Mimi.” he reassured softly.

“Did you…” she started but paused for a second. This situation was just unbelievable. Her deceased boyfriend hugging her and telling her he’d witnessed everything that happened after his passing. “Did you see him as well?” her face burnt from shame.

“You mean your new boyfriend? Jaehyun?” Simon’s lips stretched to a smile.

She merely nodded but didn’t dare to look at him.

“Yeah. He seems like a nice kid. He’s taking good care of you. I’m glad you found each other.”

“Aren’t you… angry?”

Simon let out a hearty chuckle. “Oh, my one and only, dear Mimi!” he cooed, still patting her head. “Was this that poisoned thought that bothered you all this time? That I’d be angry?”

“Well, I mean…” she stuttered but didn’t know what to say. 

Simon pulled away, holding her shoulders firmly and leaning towards the girl to meet her eyelevel. He flashed a beautiful smile, one that Hyemi missed dearly, and with one hand ruffled her hair. “I am happy, Mimi.” he said lovingly. “I am so happy there is someone dear to you. I am so happy you found someone who takes care of you. I am so happy there is someone that makes your heart beat faster again. Someone that shows you how beautiful the world is.”

Her eyes widened at his words and she stopped breathing for a moment. Her tears stopped, her lips still quivering though. Simon nodded in confirmation and nuzzled their noses. 

“You can be happy, Hyemi. Don’t let your spirit wane. Look at your wrist.”

She held her hand and stared at the tattoo on her wrist. 

Simon says be happy. 

“You see it every day but you’re not obeying, huh?” he teased. “It’s my last command, don’t be a brat and do what oppa says, hm? Just be happy, Mimi.” 

As if there was a weight lifted from her heart, she felt relieved and changed to a sincere smile. “Thank you, Simon oppa.” 

Her eyes slowly flattered open. She took in her surroundings as her vision cleared. White walls, beeping sound, her body felt heavy and her head was spinning, the led lamps were blinding. All in all, Hyemi felt like when she finally woke up.

“Sweetheart!” 

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter