“Ready?” Simon asked the two five-year-old kids in front of him. They yelled a loud yes, eagerly waiting for his commands. “Okay. Then, Simon says pull your ears.” 

The kids followed his order. The point of the game is that one person takes up the role of Simon who tells players what they must do. However, they must only obey when the command begins with the words Simon says. Since the elder Suh’s name was Simon, Hyemi and Johnny loved playing this game with him. He could think of funny commands like spin three times then bark, smell your feet, draw a heart in the air with your or waddle like a penguin and he could come up with new commands every time they’ve played.

“Roll on the floor.” he told them and Hyemi obliged, laughing. “Oh!” he pointed at the small girl. “I didn’t say Simon says. Johnny wins this round.”

“But…” Her face puckered, ready to cry. “Everything you say is what Simon says.” she wailed and tears rolled down her cheeks, Johnny shaking his head at how whiny she was, but she couldn’t care less. 

“Hyemi-yah.” Simon bent down and patted her head. “It’s just a game.” He hugged her, patting her back in a comforting way while Johnny was making faces at them. “Come on Hyemi, Simon Says don’t cry, hm? Do what Simon says, okay? Simon says be happy.” he said softly and tickled her sides causing the little girl to laugh.

Hyemi was sitting in the campus café with her laptop open on the table when someone put a bowl of ice cream in front of her, along with two Americanos. She watched Jaehyun comfortably taking a seat at her table and pushed one Americano and the ice cream closer to her.

“Mind if I join?”                

“For me?” she pointed at the ice cream and the coffee. Jaehyun nodded and took out his laptop, placing it on the table. 

“Looked like you needed something sweet.”

She beamed at him thankfully. After inspecting the ice cream, she realized that’s what she needed to light up her mood. She couldn’t sleep well last night, had nightmare after nightmare and ended up sleeping in Johnny’s room.  She felt like . “Thank you. Want to share?” she suggested to which Jaehyun nodded and went to fetch another spoon. 

“How’s Johnny?” he asked as he sit back, digging in the ice cream. “He missed his morning classes.”

Hyemi mimicked his action then answered his question. “He’s probably agonizing in his room. After you left on Friday, he’d tried to wake Haechan up, Tofu scratched his arm because he got scared, Johnny ran towards Nari, still half because he ripped the shirt I gave him, so Nari shoved him away, yelling ert ert ert repeatedly. He fell down and passed out.” she sipped her coffee. “I had to drag him to his room. We didn’t see him all weekend, he was too embarrassed.”

Jaehyun laughed in a dad like way and clapped his hands upon hearing what his friend did. “He’s really insane.”

“He is.” she agreed. Johnny was insane for sure. Even when he was younger he had done many stupid , causing trouble for himself and for her of course, since they’d spent a lot of time together. “Were you two close in freshman year?” she inquired.

“Well, we’d hang out at least once a week but I wouldn’t say we were that close friends. Like, we didn’t really talk about ourselves, we were just having fun.” he shrugged and had a sip from his coffee. “I didn’t even know he was friends with you, he didn’t talk about you or Nari and if I’m not wrong you and me didn’t have a class together so I couldn’t see you with him. Now that I think about it, he’d always dodged the personal questions so I didn’t press it I guess?” he wondered, catching the change in Hyemi’s expression.

Of course Johnny hadn’t talked about anything personal. Maybe he was glad he finally found someone who didn’t have a clue about his life, his family, his problems and he wanted to appear carefree and happy. He finally wanted to enjoy life without taking care of her, she couldn’t blame him for that.

“Johnny seems really open and outgoing but in fact he’s more guarded than you’d think.” she explained.

“It’s not something bad though. Actually I did message him a few times when I was away but he didn’t reply. Don’t tell him that.” he added. “Let me be the bad guy.” he flashed a smile and winked.

“All that matters is that you found each other again, it was in the stars.” she joked.

Jaehyun let out a chuckle and went along. “Yeah, we were meant to be.”

They drank their coffee and finished the ice cream while they were engaged in their conversation, even losing track of time while talking. It was strange how she felt at ease being with him, like they’ve been long lost besties. A few years ago, she’d easily made new friends, but now… She rather not. However, Jaehyun was approachable and friendly. Hyemi felt comfortable with him since even if there were a few silent moments she didn’t feel awkward at all. 

Hyemi noticed it was time to go to their class so they packed their laptops and were ready to leave. Jaehyun held the door for her, letting her step out first then followed after. Haechan and Johnny were already sitting in class when they stepped in, greeting them. 

“Why hello you two?” Haechan raised his eyebrows. “Should I be jealous, Pinku?” he teased Hyemi who told him curtly to shut up. 

Her eyes traveled to Johnny and she snorted upon seeing the state he was in. Dark circles rimmed his eyes and he looked like he would puke at any moment. 

“Don’t tell me you’re still hungover. It’s been three day already.”

Haechan butted in once again, telling that he’d thrown up two times Saturday morning and smelled like a dead rat and he hasn’t recovered since then, Johnny kicking him in the shin, telling Hyemi that he thought he might have eaten something bad. As they were to sit down, a handsome brown haired man patted Hyemi’s shoulder, earning death glares from both Haechan and Johnny. He asked if he could talk to her in private. She nodded nonchalantly and followed him a few feet away. 

Haechan snorted and raised his voice. “Yah, you jerk! You sure have the nerve to ask her out in front of her husband and fiancé.” he slammed the table with flaming eyes. Hyemi shot him a look, as a signal to shut up and turned back to the guy. Haechan nudged Johnny’s side. “It’s your turn next time. I hate that it’s always has to be me.” 

Johnny nodded and Jaehyun peeked at them bewildered. “Which one of you the husband and which one the fiancé?” he pointed at them.

Haechan straightened his posture. “Obviously he’s the husband since they grew up together, and I’m the fiery new love.” Jaehyun made an oh sound as he let out a chuckle when Haechan continued. “Jokes aside. Hyemi doesn’t date. She can’t. She’s the worst when she dates, she’s always whining, she’s aggressive and toxic and ruins the other’s life. She’s the worst, I just saved that poor guy.” he clicked his tongue and shook his head, Johnny sighing and rolling his eyes at the back. “So I warn you too Jung Jaehyun, don’t you dare asking her out. If you want a date, ask Park Nari. OUCH!” he yelped when Johnny kicked him again.   

Jaehyun noticed that Johnny and Haechan kept Hyemi on a short leash but didn’t understand the reason behind. When they don’t let her do something Haechan would come up with ridiculous reasons why she can’t do the said thing. It was weird.

Hyemi came back with furrowed eyebrows and sat next to Haechan.

“So Pinku, did you make him cry?” he placed his head on her shoulders with a cocky smile on his face.

“Drop it Haechan. I’m tired.” 

“Okay, sorry.” he turned serious and encouragingly squeezed her hand.

Their class started but Hyemi couldn’t focus since she was dead tired. Even her second Americano couldn’t help. She was mad. Throughout this year she managed life just well, then a few weeks ago her condition was getting worse. Too many flashbacks, too many dissociating. It was making her days difficult to handle. Even after thirty minutes she couldn’t focus. She fidgeted with the pen as the Professor talked about something like gender inequality through corporate governance. Nari would love this topic, she thought. 

“The project leader was Professor Simon Turner who is a leading expert in the field of employment law and labour law.” their professor explained but Hyemi froze. 

Her heart started pounding like crazy, her breaths became shorter, she was gasping for air as sweat and tears ran down her face. She felt an unbearable pain in her chest and her hands trembled as she tried to comprehend what was happening to her. Haechan was the first to notice her sudden change of demeanor and took action. He shook Johnny’s arm who upon noticing Hyemi, stood up immediately, excusing himself, asking for permission to take Hyemi out since she’s sick. 

He helped Hyemi up and grabbed her firmly since her legs were wobbly. The professor let them go after telling him to take her to the infirmary. The students looked at them bewildered and some even worried, whispering to each other about Hyemi. Jaehyun followed them with his eyes, worrying, as they exited the room. He turned to Haechan to ask him what’s just happened, but when he saw how he was all jittery and biting his nails he decided otherwise. It would be inappropriate to ask him about her condition anyway.

Johnny took Hyemi out of the room and sat her down at a quiet corner a few alleys away.

“Hyemi!” he yelled her name to get her attention because she was still crying softly and hyperventilating, her eyes were frantic. “Hyemi, look at me, I’m here. It’s just a panic attack, take away the fear. Take a deep breath with me okay? Focus on me. Take a breath one, two, three four, hold for a second, now breathe out.” he commanded.

 She tried to follow along but it was so hard since the pain was still overpowering. She shut her eyes close and gritted her teeth. 

“Hyemi.” he said her name softly. “Open your eyes. Focus on that picture okay? Look. It’s a nice scenery. Beautiful colors of green, blue and brown.” He pointed at a painting behind him. When it still didn’t work and Hyemi was red from all the crying and panicking he thought of another method to ease her pain. “Picture your happy place. You’re at the beach, walking on the sand. It’s warm and funny under your feet.