The eighteen-year-old Johnny was in the waiting room in the hospital while his parents and brother were consulting with a doctor, on a rather cold day in late February. Simon’s been feeling a little out of it and they thought it would be the best to run some tests on him. He already had a few blood tests and examinations and they were discussing the results. 

Johnny was subconsciously swinging his legs as he looked around in the white alley. The smell of hospital disinfectant invaded his nostrils and the led lamps were annoyingly bright. He fished out his phone and started typing to his friends while waited. Just then, the door opened and his parents walked out, Simon following behind. Johnny rushed to them, asking what the doctor had said. Simon passed Johnny without a word. 

“Let’s talk at home dear.” his mother patted the younger’s shoulder and lightly pushed him towards the exit. 

They approached their car and got in. Throughout the ride they were all quiet, Simon hanging his head low. Johnny was extremely worried, sensing that something wasn’t right. His usually cheerful parents and brother avoided looking at him or each other. His father kept his eyes on the road, his mother and brother were staring out the window, Simon also biting his nails.

Mr. Suh parked the car in front of their house but no one got out first. 

“Son,” Mr. Suh called while gripping the steering wheel. 

Simon let out a sigh and opened the door, getting out of the car and slamming the door, then jogged to the front door. Their mother couldn’t hide her sobs anymore, their father caressing her back and telling her comforting words.

“Mom, what happened?” Johnny demanded from the backseat.

Mrs. Suh realized that her younger son was still in the car and gulped down her remaining tears. She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands, peeking at her husband. 

“Later Johnny, let’s talk later.” his father turned back.

Johnny let out a furious sigh and got out of the car, running inside the house. He rushed to Simon’s room and knocked on the door, the other not answering. He tried again, also calling his name but the elder didn’t open the door. Johnny gave up and went to his room instead. He plopped down on his bed and scratched the back of his head as the worst scenarios about incurable diseases flooded his mind.

Later that day he sneaked out of his room and walked to the kitchen. He managed to hear his parents’ whispering so he stepped closer, making sure they couldn’t see him yet so he could eavesdrop. 

“He’s 20, how the hell does he have colon cancer?” his mother tried to choke back her tears as she was distractedly cutting vegetables for their dinner. Seeing her trembling hands, Mr. Suh took the knife out of her hand.

Johnny froze and felt his body tense. Did he hear it right? Cancer? Impossible. 

“He’ll beat it, he’s a strong kid, Honey.” his father tried to comfort his mother who was a crying mess by then.

“It’s stage 3, Jongmin! How the hell is it stage 3? How could we not see something was wrong with him?” she shrieked, but still whispering. “Did you see his face? Did you see how scared he was? My poor son.” she choked on her tears and Mr. Suh rushed to her and hugged her tightly.

“Don’t worry, Honey. I’ll call Lee Hajoon and ask if he can recommend a good doctor.”

Johnny felt his legs trembling as he covered his mouth with his hand to stifle a gasp. Hastily, he turned back and rushed up the stairs, making his way to Simon’s room. He stood in front of his door and started pounding on it, demanding him to open it. 

“Open the damn door!” his voice turned shaky after a few failed attempts and he rested his forehead against the door. “I heard.” he added quietly, he wasn’t even sure Simon could hear him. A few seconds later the door opened and Simon stepped aside to let his younger brother in. “Hyung.” he called him gently, Simon not looking him in the eyes. “Hyung.” he called again. “Cancer?” it was a hard question to ask. Simon nodded, still examining the floor. “But…” Johnny paced in the room and ran his fingers through his hair. “They can cure it, right? You’ll be okay, right?” his palms were sweating and shaking and suddenly he felt dizzy.

The elder sat on his chair and finally looked at Johnny. That was when he noticed how puffy and red his eyes were. “It cannot be removed completely but I’ll have a surgery soon. Then most probably they up my body with chemo. Aish, I thought I would only be bald when I enlisted.” he chuckled bitterly. 

Johnny’s lower lip trembled. He saw as tears rolled down his brother’s cheek.  How much has Simon cried already? Johnny tried to blink away his own tears and turned his head so Simon couldn’t see him. 

“Don’t tell Hyemi.” 

“What?” he faced him again, his eyes widened. “You want to keep it a secret?”

“For now, yes.” he nodded. “I’ll tell her when I’m ready.”

“You okay?” Nari tapped Johnny’s shoulder. He was zooned out while they were having lunch together at the campus cafeteria. 

He shook his head and changed to a smile. “Sure. I just… remembered something.”

She eyed him still suspiciously but didn’t push more. “Oh. Okay.” 

“What’s up with you nowadays? We didn’t have a chance to even talk at home, you’re always running to somewhere.” he leaned back in his chair with a fake hurt expression. “You don’t care about your friends since you’re dating the Yuta guy? Or is it Lucas?” he narrowed his eyes. 

The girl stopped eating and put down her chopsticks. “Lucas was a one-night stand and actually I’m not dating Yuta. It didn’t work out.” 

Now that was unexpected. He tried to hide his smug smile and hoped his expression radiated support. “How come? You’ve been on like… five dates or so?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. We just couldn’t talk and didn’t have much things in common I guess, but the was awesome.”

Johnny spit out the water he was drinking and started coughing. Nari offered a napkin to him. Patting his chest, he tried to pull himself together. “What? You’ve slept with him?”

“What?” she snorted. “It’s not like we’re in sixth grade. I know you’ve been getting laid on a monthly basis. I can have my fun time too.”

His cheeks went red. Sure he’s had a few one-night stands but that wasn’t the point right now. He cleared his throat and tried to phrase his thoughts without getting Nari angry. “But you’re a girl and…”

She cut in immediately and held up a hand. “Oh for ’s sake please don’t start the story of the lock and the good key. It's hypocritical and a ist bull, promoting illogical notion. Why should a woman be condemned for having healthy while men should be praised for it?” she rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed.

That was Johnny’s cue. “Now Park Nari, don’t you think feminism creates a ist bias in society?” he tapped his chin with a cocky smile on his face.

“Are you challenging me, Johnny Suh?” she arched her eyebrow. “I believe in gender equality but I’m not blinded by aggressive feminism. Yes, sometimes feminists and feminism can be ist, people are different and not perfect, but it’s not meant to be ist and it doesn’t invalidate the fact that we have equal rights, and it doesn’t invalidate the core of feminism.”

He propped his head up on his hand and gazed at her lovingly. “You’re so hot when you talk like this.”

“See?” she snapped and pointed at him. “That is the problem! I’ve given up educating men about feminism. Every time I try to explain to a man that his apathy towards the patriarchy and his male privilege is negatively impacting women's ability to exist in the world, they would just look at me dead in the eye and dare to say that I’m hot and y. , I don’t try to be y, I try to make you understand that the system is wrong, like, would you die if women were paid the same wage as men? I don’t think so.” She was fuming. “I’m done attempting these conversations before I would ing kill someone.”

Johnny loved teasing and challenging her, hearing her thoughts on important matters. That’s why he usually contradicts her, since he loves when she’s standing up for what she believes in. How the fire in her eyes is radiating strength and confidence, he really admired Nari. 

“Okay. You’re right. It’s your life, your choices. If you want the D you can have the D.”

She frowned and massaged the bridge of her nose. “We’ve been friends for so long but I’m still grossed out when you talk like this.”

“You started, Nari.” he tossed his tray to the side, the smug smirk still apparent on his face. 

Despite looking like a princess out of a fairy tale, Park Nari is something else. She has a strong presence of mind and she follows her heart. She lives her life with a purpose and committed to her interests. She doesn’t give a damn about other people’s opinion and doesn’t let the little things affect her. She doesn’t need validation from anyone anymore. She has a sharp tongue and will say what’s on her mind, no matter what. She’s sarcastic but also kind and caring. She swears like a sailor but that just adds up how hot she is. Johnny’s been having a little crush on her but he knows his place. He’s aware that being friends with Nari worth more than asking her out and possibly ruining their relationship. So, he’s watching her from a safe distance. 

“How’s Marshall Park?” 

She chuckled and shook her head. “You still call my mother Marshall Park? Did she have that much of a strong effect on Little Johnny?”

“I’ll never forget the way she could shout and scream at us. She could lead and army to victory.” 

“Damn right she could.”

They continued their lunch without risky topics and had a pleasant conversation. Nari knew that Johnny threw these controversial remarks at her, regarding gender equality, on purpose to challenge her. He was the most considerate man in the world who would never think lowly of women or cause harm to anybody. They’ve been friends for over ten years for a reason. 

Johnny reached for his muffin when he saw Jaehyun and Hyemi walking towards their table. He waved to them and Nari turned back to see who he was greeting. A smile crept on her face upon seeing her friend, being all happy beside Jaehyun and the gears started turning in her head. Plan Han River was a fail, big time, but Jaehyun seemed to do good on his own. Nevertheless, Nari still felt the urge to push the two together at any possible situation. 

“Hi guys. You finished eating already?” Hyemi asked as she set her tray on the table, Jaehyun mimicking her actions as he sat beside Johnny. 

Nari shot up from her seat and nodded. “Yes and we’re kinda in a hurry, right Johnny?”

“Are we?” he cocked his eyebrows at her.

“Of course.” she gritted her teeth and flashed her eyes at him so he could get the secret message behind her words. “We have to get that… thing… you know.”

“What thing?” he looked back at her bewildered. He had no idea what she was talking about. 

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