“Did I interrupt something?” the man asked with a gentle smile, Hyemi shaking her head.

“No.” she pointed at the campus café. “Here.”

They sat down at the corner and he ordered a latte for Hyemi and an espresso for himself. They were quiet at first, none of them willing to initiate a conversation. They stayed silent for a few minutes until their orders were ready and he went to the counter. Hyemi fidgeted in her seat, checking the time on her phone as her thoughts started to get fuzzy. Deep breaths. You need to take deep breaths Hyemi. She mustered up her strength and tried to keep a straight face. The male came back and placed the tray on the table, giving Hyemi her latte.

“Sorry I called you so many times.” he said after sipping from his cup. “But as you can see, I’m here in Seoul and thought I might pop in and see how you’re doing.”

“It’s okay. We agreed to be friends. I had class that’s why I haven’t answered my phone. How have you been, Taeil Oppa?” she pulled closer her latte and had a sip while waiting for his answer.

She peeked at him and studied his gentle features. Hyemi was familiar with Taeil’s presence, however the two haven’t talked for almost a year now. The connection between them was Simon Suh, and now they’re leading entirely different lives. 

“I’m good. Got a job at a company.”

“That’s great. I’m glad.”

They tried to keep the conversation alive with small talk, however the ice-breaker questions Taeil had asked seemed to aggravate the situation. Hyemi hummed to most of them, like all the questions sounded pointless to her, thus Taeil eventually gave up trying.

“Okay, I don’t want to beat around the bush Hyemi. I called because I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have said those things to you. It was a stressful time in my life but I know that’s not an excuse.”

Hyemi pressed her lips together and nodded. Judging from her expression, how she averted her gaze, Taeil could tell that Kang Hyemi wanted to be everywhere but here with him.

“It’s okay. We both had a hard time.”

“And, how are you?” he inquired and seemed sincere, who truly wanted to catch up with an old friend.

“Better than before.” she didn’t elaborate, forcing a smile.

“I’m glad.”

The last time she’s seen Moon Taeil was at his graduation ceremony. Since then, life was busy for both. Hyemi’s eyes sheepishly wandered towards the male again. He looked good in his suit, rocking the dark blue color. He was a grown man now, not that young, reckless boy he used to be.

“I visited him.” Taeil said and sadness washed over Hyemi. “Last weekend, when I went home.”

She didn’t want to hear it. She knew she had promised him that they would keep in touch, but it was too hard for her. He was the reminder of her past which she couldn’t get over yet. He was the reminder of all the things Simon Suh could have been. He would have graduated by now and would have started working for that company he was offered an internship. He would have been happy, with her beside him. She remained silent. She simply couldn’t find the voice to speak.

Taeil rubbed the back of his head, feeling guilty bringing up the all too sensitive topic. He cleared his throat and fixed his tie. “Sorry. How’s Johnny?”

“He’s doing okay. I thought you’re talking though.” Hyemi maintained her polite but distant demeanor. Taeil however couldn’t blame her for the cold shoulder.

“Yeah. Once in a while.” he nodded and looked out the window.

Hyemi had nothing against Moon Taeil, in fact she still liked him as a friend, but it was too hard for her talking with him, especially about Simon. Hyemi wasn’t ready for that. She still wasn’t ready to face reality entirely and it slowly killed her inside.

Johnny was making dinner when Hyemi entered the apartment. He greeted her and asked how was her day. Without replying, she dropped her bag on the floor and herself on the couch. Tofu jumped beside her, signaling his need for attention so Hyemi held him in her arms and kissed his head.

“You can’t be that mad because we teased you a little.” Johnny yelled from the kitchen nook.

“I’m not mad.” she said as she checked her phone and saw a message from Jaehyun. She groaned, locking it immediately and threw it on the other end of the couch. She wasn’t prepared for that yet. “I met Taeil Oppa.”

Johnny stopped whisking the eggs and put everything down on the counter. “What? What did he want?”

Hyemi massaged her temples with closed eyes before she answered. “Nothing in particular. He was in Seoul for a business trip or something. He lives in Daegu, working for some fancy company or what. We just talked about anything.”

“Okay.” he noted suspiciously.

It was quiet for a few minutes. Johnny continued working on their dinner, Hyemi stood up and walked to the kitchen, leaning against the fridge. She watched Johnny adding vegetables and ham into the mixture while the tension grew heavier in the air. Tofu ran after her and was bumping his head to Hyemi’s legs. It was his sign for her to feed him. She opened a cabinet and took out the canned cat food, opening it and pouring it into Tofu’s bowl. 

“When was the last time you’ve visited him?” she asked in the softest voice ever as she watched her cat eat.

Johnny turned to face her, a bewildered look on his face. “Who? Taeil?”

She gulped before speaking. “Your brother.”

Johnny poured the egg mixture into a pan, avoiding eye contact with Hyemi. “On his death anniversary.”

She nodded and grabbed a fork just to fidget with something. She felt like the tattoo on her wrist was burning at the sole mention of Simon Suh.

“His birthday’s coming up. I thought maybe I…” she started but her voice cracked. “I should visit him.”

“Hyemi, you know you don’t have to force yourself. He wouldn’t have mind it either. He would have wanted you to remember him at his best.”  he brought his eyes back up to meet hers.

“I know, but I really want to visit him.” she persisted.

“Did Moon Taeil talk again?” Johnny slammed his fist against the counter, startling Tofu who hissed before turning back to his food. 

Hyemi frowned upon remembering the scenario Johnny’s hinted.

“At least ing go and visit him!” Taeil yelled in the phone, the girl on the other line was as quiet as a mouse. Taeil heaved a sigh, his frustration getting the best of him. “You were his ing girlfriend, why can’t you go and see him? It’s been months! Bring a ing flower or something! All of us, Shiwoo, Soyi, Johnny and even your friends have been there, why can’t you respect him enough to go see him? Did you even love him?”

Johnny snatched the phone from the frozen girl. “Yah Moon Taeil! Stop this bull! Who do you think you are? Get your drunken - together and stop bothering us you ing jerk!”

But it was too late, the damage has been done already. Hyemi sank to the floor, staring ahead with empty eyes. Johnny hung up the call and mercilessly threw her phone on the ground, the device breaking from the forceful impact.

Johnny ran his fingers through his hair, looking down the girl with pity. “I’ll buy you a new one.” he said as he knelt in front of her. “Come on Hyemi, let’s eat something, okay?”

She parted her lips, sounds of choked, hoarse sobs erupting her, eyes still staring into nowhere and Johnny knew Taeil had successfully ed up Hyemi’s progress. They were back at step one and Johnny wanted to strangle that bastard Moon Taeil. 

“No.” she shook her hands. “It wasn’t like that, we just talked about him and… and it hit me that I don’t even remember his funeral, and I haven’t been there since. I think it would help me find closure.”

Johnny was still uncertain of the idea, but throughout the years he has learnt it was impossible to argue with Kang Hyemi when she sets her mind on something.

“Can you come with me?” she looked at him with pleading eyes. She knew she couldn’t do it alone and she didn’t want anyone beside her, other than the person who had loved Simon the most.

Johnny nodded. “Of course, that wasn’t even a question. Come here.” he opened his arms and she slowly shuffled her way into his arms. Just then, the front door opened and Haechan trotted in happily as always.

“Aww, we’re hugging?” he cooed as he kicked off his shoes and ran to them, embracing both.

“I still hate you.” Hyemi snapped as she felt Haechan’s cheek press against her shoulder.

“You would hate me even more if I had told Jonny that you washed his favorite white shirt with Nari’s red bra and it turned all pink.”

“What?” Johnny pulled away to glare at her. “You did WHAT whit my expensive Gucci shirt?”

“It cost you nothing, it was a gift from Haechan.” she narrowed her eyes but Johnny scoffed in disbelief.

“Still!”

“And I didn’t even tell Johnny that…” Haechan spoke up again but Hyemi’s shriek made him shut up.

“LEE HAECHAN!” she screamed and her eyes flashed dangerously.

Haechan was aware his slip of tongue wasn’t his smartest move. He let go of his two friends and started running, Hyemi tailing after him. Haechan was apologizing as he was running for his life around the house, Hyemi shouting that she would definitely kill him if she would reach him.

She grabbed a pillow and threw it at Haechan. She missed him but Tofu got scared of the sudden movements and rushed to Johnny, hiding behind his legs. He squatted down and scratched Tofu’s ear.

“It’s okay.” he reassured the cat. “She’s fine.”

Haechan stopped and held up his hand as he was gasping for air. “Time out!” he managed to say and Hyemi too, stopped, hands on her hips as she scowled at Haechan. They were standing across each other, the couch between them. “I have the next party idea.” his eyes were sparkling as he stretched his lips to a grin.

“I can’t go.” she stated firmly and before Haechan could whine she continued. “I’m going home with Johnny.”

He nodded but couldn’t hide his pout. Regardless, Hyemi asked what crazy idea popped up into his mind.

“A normal party.” he shrugged and she looked at him incredulously, thus Haechan unfolded his idea. “Just a normal party, like you’re in a club. Sometimes you don’t need anything special you just want to spend time with your friends at a party. So it will be a simple, normal, ordinary party.”

She gritted her teeth and massaged her temples. “So, you’re saying you’ll host a normal party while I can’t go, and when I’m around, you pull all your stupid, crazy s? You made me wear a cow costume at the cowboy party!”

“Yeah, so guys wouldn’t hit on you.” he deadpanned.

“Yeah, they didn’t because they’ve almost died laughing! And now, just an ordinary party? Everyone can wear whatever? Lee Haechan! Do you want to die?” she shrieked and jumped up onto the couch to grab Haechan by the neck.

Johnny shook his head disapprovingly and held Tofu in his arms, giving him soft scratches behind his ears as the cat looked at him uncertain. “I promise she’s okay.” he said and went inside his room with him, leaving the two bickering idiots behind. 

Johnny had parked the car, which he’d borrowed from Haechan, at the base of a small mountain in their hometown, Hanam, near Seoul. The weather was rather warm on that mid-April day, the refreshing spring wind was rustling through the trees as they began climbing a straight incline up the mountain. Hyemi felt the weight of her feelings as she struggled to keep up with Johnny who led the way a few feet away. As they reached the pinnacle of their journey, hundreds of small domed mounds could be seen, scattered around the hill. They arrived at one mound with a gravestone, and a picture of a 21-year-old, smiling, handsome man. 

Johnny had a blanket spread out and neatly placed the brought food on it. He handed a couple of apples to Hyemi, they shared a soft look then placed the sacred offering on the plot in a ceremonial manner. They knelt down and bowed. Tears were building in Hyemi’s eyes as she watched how Johnny placed two shot glasses on the bl