Seulgi spent the days leading up to the concert house performance in great agony of pretense.

Pretending that she doesn’t notice the way Joohyun guffaws at her corny jokes and smacking her arms hard, but then caressing it lovingly after. How she bombards her with her own version of flirtatious teasing and romantic implications, equipped with smirking yet proud eyes. The way she takes care of her and makes sure she eats healthy and studies well. How her gaze lasts whenever they separate ways.  

The observations that were admittedly usual—you can almost label it as her habit.

Her conclusion didn’t make sense when you consider that.

It was a Eureka moment; a light bulb suddenly lighting up her dark confusion.

What if, Joohyun was already feeling those way back, that was why nothing changed—because it was long-living and already there.

Like how hers didn’t trigger any changes too. Because it was somehow innate in her to express her love like that.

But she continues to pretend that she didn’t made that conclusion.

Why?

Because she’s afraid. She’s afraid to got it all wrong. She’s afraid of false hopes. There’s just so much to lose. And that lost isn’t something she’s willing to take just for her selfish gain.

She just doesn’t want to lose Joohyun. She’s too important.

But how long can pretense stay until it crumbles? Because she can feel it crumbles right this moment.

With the twentieth drop, I wonder if I’ll know if my love will continue

Twenty, love
Though it's still faint
This dream is a watercolor painting
The brush that paints the rainbow
Is right here in my heart

In a sudden flash
I want to give light
To this dream of mine
So the hands that will break up the rainclouds
Will come from my pockets

As Joohyun continues to bravely look at her straight in her eyes as she sung those lyrics from Early Summer Rain 20 Love while she seconded the harmony, she can feel the clues shouting inside her ears, screaming that they’re correct.

This time, Seulgi finds it hard to continue the pretense.

And it continues to get harder.

Joohyun’s voice echoed for their second song for the concert house performance while the bassist sang her written song, Heart Throbbing Sugar.

Caramel sauce for you, dearest
Granulated sugar, brown sugar
Caramel sauce for you, dearest
Maple, honey, fine-grain sugar

Caramel sauce just for you
My heart is also caramel sauce
Even if it gets a little burned
Your flame will make it delicious

I'm a pastry chef of love
For you, who's moderately sweet
I'll make a homemade sauce
Even though I've been watching you all along
Why haven't you noticed?
If you want a taste, just say so, okay?
You've got some on your cheek!

My true feelings are custard pudding
The secret hidden flavor is throbbing sugar
My true feelings are custard pudding
Brown sugar syrup, thin sugar, manuka honey

Why has this caramel sauce become bittersweet?
I'll just fix it with some more sugar
Since I don't have a measuring spoon
I'll season it myself and make it delicious

I'm a pastry chef with a sweet tooth
Just thinking about you
Saturates my heart
But, you see, where I am right now
I don't plan to use my voice
If I dream an extremely sweet dream
I'll be happy tonight

I've got everything sweet inside the cupboard
It can't be beat once I boil it down
Heartbeat bittersweet
Fantasy eternity
Dizzy, dizzy sympathy, I'm feeling it!
Just 'cause...

I'm a pastry chef of love
For you, who's moderately sweet
I'll make a homemade sauce
Even though I've been watching you all along
Why haven't you noticed?
If you want a taste, just say so!

I'm a pastry chef of love
Just thinking about you
Saturates my heart
Someday we'll meet eye to eye
And at that time, my concoction will be ready
It'll be the most delicious thing ever
You've got some on your cheek!

And Joohyun looks at her in the eye while singing, with eyes teasing and knowing.

Even though I've been watching you all along
Why haven't you noticed?

Just thinking about you
Saturates my heart
Someday we'll meet eye to eye
And at that time, my concoction will be ready
It'll be the most delicious thing ever

Like Joohyun is throwing her own words back at her in mock.

And singing Joohyun’s A Winter Day, which she had memorized inside her heart, taking her back to that certain day of their date, doesn’t make the pretense much stronger.

No matter how cold it is, I'm happy
Watching your white breath as you spring into a run

Your hairstyle really suits you
But I want to see how you look with your bangs down

I wonder what I should say
Is "I love you" a good way to start?
The fluttering snow is like my dancing feelings
And somehow, I'm happy

On this vivid white, shining road
I want to walk with you; it would be okay if we held hands

Your mischievous smile really suits you
But I also want to see your shy, blushing face

Why is it that no words will come out?
Should I look some up in a dictionary?
The falling snow, like my feelings, won't stop
It's sort of painful

Inside of my heart
I'm taking a deep breath

Even though I feel like the aching in my heart is increasing
I realized it's just because I think about you that often
Just as I thought!

Tomorrow we'll meet at our usual place
You'll be running and I'll wait for you
Just like I'm waiting for the first snow of the season
Run a little faster!

I wonder what I should say
Is "I love you" a good way to start?
My feelings are dancing like fluttering snow
And somehow, I'm happy

It was like singing on Joohyun’s stead, like wearing her shoes and standing from her point-of-view. And it was no different from her very own shoes, she realized. Joohyun just had more courage.

Her My Love Is A Stapler though, seemingly sealed the deal. There was no point to further deny it.

As Seulgi started singing the first verse, she went back to that night she had written it—when she first thought of the possibility that she stood a chance after Joohyun kissed her cheeks.

I wonder why it is
On this worry-full night
I'm writing on paper
These feelings to you

Could it be that
I'm just being whimsical?
But the sheets will only
Keep on increasing

An equation to calculate the chances of love
It'd be nice if I had one

My sparkling, shining wishes
Have slopped in with my worries
That's right, let's just staple them together
My mood was only simple at the start
But it got hot inside without me knowing
And somehow the staples no longer go through
Lala, see you tomorrow

And as Joohyun started to sing the second verse with the same intensity as hers, Seulgi thought it might really be possible.

I wonder what I should do
Rereading it is embarrassing
Even though all these feelings
Keep being written down

Somehow if these feelings
Get tossed into the trash
My heart would in pain
So I wonder if I should keep them

Now my feelings will be revealed
Searching for words without a dictionary

This plan makes me excited
Expanding it makes me too tired
Let's just staple everything together
Recalling the things I did today
Always makes my chest tighten
I ran out of staples, need to buy some more
Lala, see you tomorrow

The instrumental bridge started starring her lead guitar solo along with their humming. It was like Seulgi finally crossing that bridge she was so scared to take.

My sparkling, shining wishes
Have slopped in with my worries
That's right, let's just staple them together
My mood was only simple at the start
But it got hot inside without me knowing
And somehow the staples no longer go through
Lala, see you tomorrow

Seulgi sang the last verse of the song while Joohyun hummed in the background. Her singing was the screaming question, and Joohyun’s hum was the obvious answer.

Seulgi closed her eyes as if letting go of the pretension that’s holding her back.

+++

Seulgi watched Joohyun from her peripheral vision, doing some autographs with a line of fans composing of mostly male. But she surprisingly can’t be bothered as she signed some for female fans too, because Joohyun was peeking at her too from time to time, with a sweet smile that’s almost honey-dripping and expectant.

Yerim watched the two of them play that meaningful staring game as she went towards Moonbyul, Yongsun, Jennie and Lalisa who were waiting outside the concert house along with a number of fans who attended the event—the four of them she got to know closely when Seulgi held her fan meeting.

“So, how’s it going, Yerim-ah?” Moonbyul asked. “Were we of any use?”

“You bet, Moonbyul-unnie. I feel Seulgi-unnie is finally getting it.” Yerim answered.

“Nice.” Lalisa huffed proudly.

“Joohyun-unnie’s on a roll too at pushing Seulgi-unnie to the edge so I think it’s just a matter of time until one of them confesses.” Jennie giggled.

Yerim beamed at them. “Thanks so much unnies, for all your help.”

Moonbyul ruffled Yerim’s head. “They should thank you, for doing all these conniving with almost everyone just to push them to the right direction, Yerim-ah. You’re the best cupid I’ve ever seen.”

“Yeah, I can only wish that we had someone like you before, right, Lalisa?” Jennie agreed, pinching Yerim’s cheek cutely.

Lalisa nodded. “You’re an angel.”

Yerim giggled proudly as she looked back at the couple, thinking of uploading a Valentine’s video on their social media page, as an additional final touch. She then looked over the other couple—WenJoy—who were busy with signing for their own fans too, the couple being her next target.

+++

Joohyun downloaded the photo attachment sent to Red Velvet group chat that Sooyoung sent. It was an RVSP invitation, for the celebration of Seungwan’s actual birthday this coming Saturday and hers and Yerim’s. She giggled at Seungwan’s retorts on how she specifically mentioned not wanting to have any fancy surprises from them like how they did Seulgi. Sooyoung rebutted that it’s not anything fancy, it’s just going to be them at their villa. She further reasoned that their upcoming weeks will be busy due to the nearing school festival so they’re going to celebrate the trio’s birthday all at the same time.

Joohyun felt excited about their weekend. She felt like something’s about to go down. Especially with Seulgi and her relationship.

Joohyun had taken note of Seulgi’s lasting eyes on her all throughout the concert performance—gazes that are thinking, pondering and knowing. It seemed like Seulgi finally hinted of her feelings for her. Finally.

And so Joohyun smiled from ear to ear in delight. More so after watching the Valentine’s theme video of SeulRene video was uploaded by Yerim that night.

The world is conspiring for that something—someone—that Joohyun wants.

+++

“Woah Joy-unnie!! This is so grand!” Yerim exclaimed as soon as she got out first out of the SUV vehicle and saw the grand villa right in front of a white-sand beach.

Seulgi placed her arm around the amazed maknae. “I told you. It’s our villa.” She giggled.

“It’s not ours, Seulgi-yah.” Joohyun commented from the back, shaking her head.

Seungwan giggled. “Sooyoungie’s dad sure makes us feel like it.” Seulgi, Joohyun and Yerim looked at Seungwan who was nodding towards Sooyoung who was on a call as soon as she went out of their vehicle.

“No, no, dad! I told you, we didn’t need to have a lot of staffs again!... Oh my god—no, dad! We don’t need the yacht! Why do you do this???... So what if I got the same friends again??? And a new one?? It’s not a big deal! Geez!!” Sooyoung pressed the end call button on her touch screen phone in contempt then stomped towards the villa ahead of the four bandmates, leaving the staffs in suits from behind bowing to her.

Yerim’s mouth was still hanging in amazement while the other three followed suit giggling.

“Ugh!” Sooyoung groaned as soon as she entered the villa’s living room.

“Home sweet home!!” Seulgi exclaimed then ran towards the couch, diving on it with a bounce.

“Yah Kang Seulgi behave!” Joohyun scolded.

“How do we do with the rooming now?” Seungwan asked, sitting beside Seulgi who was bouncing on her seat like a hyperactive child.

Yerim was still busy being in awe at the place but her gaze then fell on Sooyoung at the question.

“Dibs on our previous room with Joohyun-unnie.” Sooyoung said, placing a hand on Joohyun’s shoulder. Yerim smirked at that.

Joohyun was a bit surprised, but she felt like, like the last time, Sooyoung wanted to talk to her about something so she nodded. “Sure, Sooyoung-ah.”

“I’d go take a look at the room upstairs! It’s overlooking!” Yerim excitedly announced then ran upstairs.

“Guess it’s the three of us then, Seul.” Seungwan said, turning to Seulgi beside her.

“Yeah, cool.” Seulgi said then fist bumped with the drummer.

Sooyoung and Joohyun laughed at the 94-liners, already guessing that the two of them are going to bring some food or play some games in there, making them shake their heads in amusement.

+++

Yerim’s eyes jolted open then closed it immediately after. She groaned and squinted her eyes upon the direct sunlight spotlighting her on her lying spot on the second-floor king-sized bed. She realized then that as soon as she explored the room and felt the bed, it called to her to lie down and she succumbed to the invite. After all, she was so excited of their trip that she couldn’t sleep last night, and even on their journey. She stood up and rubbed her eyes, making her way to the veranda.

Gods, this is paradise, Yerim thought. She grinned, her excitement coming back to her and it helped that she fell asleep making her feel recharged. She went back to the room and decided to change to her prepared beach suit.

Once she descended from the room and reached the darkened living room though, she found her four unnies huddled on the couch. Sooyoung was on the far-left end, with Seungwan’s head on her lap while her feet on Seulgi’s lap. Joohyun was inside Seulgi’s protective arms at the other corner of the couch, leaning her head on the guitarist’s shoulder. All of them were quietly sniffing and she can guess that they were all trying hard to contain a sob. She sighed and turned the lights on.

“Geez, unnies! Why are you watching Miracle in Cell No. 7 when we should be having fun???” Yerim put her hands on her hips as four heads with puffy eyes turned towards her.

“Yerim-aaaahhhhh!” The four whined as they sniffed, standing up to tackle Yerim, which made the maknae playfully run for her life.

“Yah unnie! Don’t get your snorts on me!!”

“You were the one who slept on us! This is your fault!” Seulgi exclaimed and ran after Yerim in a zombie-like manner. Seungwan shortly joined.

“Yah unnie! Stop!” Yerim whined as she ran around the living area laughing. She stopped when she bumped someone from behind and looked up to a smirking Sooyoung. The tall girl grabbed her by the shoulders, making her stay in place as the two approached with smirking smiles. “YAH JOY-UNNIE!!” Her laughter erupted loudly as the 94-liners tickled the hell out of her, making her laugh and cry too much.

Joohyun watched them as she too laughed at the sight of her childish bandmates. She flinched when the four pairs of eyes suddenly turned to her. “No! No! Don’t you dare!” She was quick on her feet to dash out of the villa to the white-sand beach as her four members ran after her, threatening to tickle her mercilessly.

Seulgi was the one who was able to reach for her hand and tackled her unto the sand.

“YAH KANG SEULGI!!” Joohyun exclaimed but to no avail, Seulgi was now pinning her on the sand and she was powerless against her. Soon, the three was on top of her too, tickling her all around her body. She was laughing and crying as she thought that her members will be the death of her.

+++

“YAH KIM YERIM PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!” Joohyun demanded at their maknae who was already running away.

“No way Irene-unnie! I prepared for this!” Yerim stuck out a tongue.

“Come back here you!” Seulgi snatched the loose white shirt discarded poorly on the sand. That piece of clothing was the only one that protected the maknae’s daring two-piece suit. Joohyun and her had the same thought of disliking it, thinking that it’s too daring for their maknae to wear.

Seungwan and Sooyoung giggled.

“Let her be, unnie. It’s just us here anywa