"You matter," he told me. 

"I know I do. But so does your career."

I feel so empty without it
Twisted, addicted, I'm gone, gone, gone
Help me, I'm just being honest
Promise I don't need too much, much, much

- Painkiller, Before You Exit

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The one thing, my love, is that when you date a doctor... you date his whole career. You wonder if you were ever a priority. 

TW: mentions of suicide

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2024

The hard thing about breaking up with someone while still being in love with them is the fact that it takes a longer time to move on. What's worse is the way he didn't say anything, stepping into the shared bedroom when he realized I was packing my things to move out. He hated seeing me cry and I knew that but Kun seemed to have made peace with it. 

"We need to break up," I told him and he nodded.

Not a fight, not a single word to make me stay. Would he have fought for me if he knew of the baby growing in my tummy? 

"I know," he replied, kissing my forehead. "It's for the best."

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2027

I took two steps away from the cart that was behind me that had a small car. It was a cart for kids and Han was holding a ketchup sachet, ketchup from it. I wandered a little bit away and got what I needed when I looked back to see that he was gone. 

"Han?" I called out, Han nowhere to be seen. "Han!" 

I rushed towards the cart when I realized that Han must have toddled off somewhere when I heard a yell.

"Hello, Mama!" he called out and I turned to see that he had run up to a man wearing a doctor's suit. I gasped a sigh of relief until I saw who the man was. 

Qian Kun, holding my Han-- his son, in his arms. It has been a while since I've seen him.

"Rouge?" 

"Kun," I breathed. 

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I’ve been alone
Ever since I left home
But every night I still think about you
You lost me twice
To the bright city lights
Do you hate me for moving without you?

- I wish, Faime