Chapter One | What I Regret the Most

I truly enjoy sitting at the corner of the balcony and watch as passersby do their own thing. Sabi nga ng kakambal kong si Wendy, napaka-creepy daw ng hobby ko.

I like observing people.

Katulad ng araw-araw kong routine, nakatambay na naman ako sa balcony ng condo namin ng kapatid ko. Five minutes bago mag-alas siyete ng umaga, nahanap na agad ng mga mata ko si Bruno. I really don’t know his real name, but like all other people I observe, I assign them names based on how I see fit.

Para mabilis maalala.

So, going back. Bruno is Bruno simply because he has the same hair like Bruno Mars. I always see him rushing, lalo na’t Monday na naman ngayon. He probably is late for work. He probably lives far away. Or he probably lives close by kaya lagi siyang late.

These are my assumptions. And these assumptions are based on how I see him and everyone else every time I’m watching from my balcony while drinking a cup of coffee.

Oh, and there’s Aling Puring again, coming out of the convenience store, holding what looks like a kariman. I call her Aling Puring because she dresses like a manang. Yung tipong napag-iwanan siguro siya sa dekada sitenta kaya napaka-outdated ng wardrobe niya. I cannot help but wonder kung anong flavor kaya ang binili niya ngayon? Is it the usual pizza o ‘di kaya yung bagong shawarma flavor na kalalabas lang?

There’s usual Dugs by the corner of the street. I call him Dugs because he looks dugyutin. He’s the guy who has this big placard tapos may hawak siyang baso ng cup noodles pero walang laman. Some passersby, who I assume are working white-collar jobs, drop twenty pesos on a good day. I wonder how much money he’s got in his cup this early.

And then there’s Salome, whom I’ve been observing for months. From Monday to Friday, I always see her sa katapat na kalye kung nasaan si Dugs.

Mukhang inaantay niya pa rin si Elias.

For weeks now, si Salome na lang ang nakikita ko ng ganitong oras. Dati, they’d meet at the same spot. Elias usually comes first with two cups of coffee na galing sa Starbucks. Darating naman si Salome not too long after and they’d chat. I saw from their simple conversations, how their smiles grew big. I saw how affectionate they were with each other. 

“Seul! Alam mo, kung curious ka talaga, why don’t you ask Salome?” Nagulat ako sa tanong ng kakambal ko. Yes, we’re fraternal twins at mas nauna lang ako kay Wendy ng eleven minutes.

“Anong sasabihin ko?” Tinanggal ko yung tingin kay Salome at lumingon sa kakambal kong panira ng train of thoughts ko. “Hi, miss! Gusto ko lang itanong kung break na ba kayo ng jowa mo?” I replied to her sarcastically.

“Sadya bang may plema ‘yang utak mo?” Tanong niya sa akin. We’re like this kapag nag-aasaran kami. “Syempre, hindi. Bakit kaya hindi ka bumaba tapos kaibiganin mo si Salome?”

“And what? Tell her I’ve been stalking her from our balcony?” Umiiling na ko, naiisip ko pa lang. I’m imagining if I were in Salome’s shoes, I’d be creeped out.

“Don’t tell me you’re chickening out kasi kamukha ng crush mo ‘nong college si Salome?” I thank all the heavens dahil hindi binanggit ni Wendy ang pangalan na matagal ko nang gustong ibaon sa limot.

Pero hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin mabaon sa limot. Not when I see Salome five times a week from my balcony. Halos six years na ‘nong college graduation natin. I still wonder if I had made a move, would things turn out differently?

“You know I just observe from here for research purposes. It helps with my line of work.” I casually deflected.

“How’s that chapter going? It’s been a week since you’ve asked me to give you feedback.” Tanong sa akin ni Wendy. If there’s a person who knows me better than I know myself, it’s none other than Wendy. “Don’t tell me,