fifteen

slytherins do it better

Rosie manages to choke out her request for Wendy to the student that comes to the entrance of the Ravenclaw Tower at her request, receiving a strange look from the boy before he heads off to collect her friend.

Eventually Wendy appears and the girl is immediately bringing Rosie into a hug, rambling out worried questions as Rosie's cries become more prominent.

"Jennie and I-" Rosie lets out a sharp breath, pulling back from Wendy briefly and attempting to control her breaths as the smaller girl wipes at her tears, "We broke up."

She doesn't speak again after that, unable to voice her thoughts over the tears that dampen Wendy's jumper as her friend holds her. Rosie allows Wendy to lead her down into the Ravenclaw Tower, keeping her head ducked as they walk through the common room and eventually reach the head girl's separate dorm.

Wendy disappears for a while, eventually reappearing with a concerned Joy in tow. The other Gryffindor is quick to settle at Rosie's side, murmuring out words of comfort to her best friend. Rosie expects an 'I told you so' to roll off of Joy's tongue at some point, so she's surprised when one doesn't come. Joy does prod for answers, and Rosie can locate the anger in the girl's tone when she asks about Jennie, but her sole concern remains focused on consoling her best friend.

Rosie wants to blame Joy for the way her heart feels like it's been torn in half. She wants to be angry at her friend and tell her it's her fault that things happened the way they did.

Honestly, she just wants to blame someone, because otherwise... it's her fault. And knowing she did this to herself just makes it hurt that much more.

But it's not Joy's fault.

And it's not Jennie's, either.

It's Rosie's.

And well, there's something particularly painful about unintentionally causing your own heartbreak.

--

When Rosie leaves Jennie's room, the Slytherin only manages another few seconds of composure before she breaks, eyes flooding with tears that she's sure she should no longer have enough fluid in her body to produce.

It's not long before Nayeon enters her dorm, the girl having clearly witnessed Rosie's teary exit from the Slytherin dungeons. Nayeon doesn't say anything, just holds her friend as Jennie cries, managing to choke out details to her between sharp breaths.

Jennie doesn't have to ask for the other girl to stay with her, Nayeon simply bringing the covers over them and continuing to comfort her friend until sleep finally takes her.

In the morning, Nayeon has to employ Momo and Taehyung's help in order to drag Jennie out of bed and down to the Great Hall. It's early, and the house tables aren't as filled to the brim as they will be in the next hour. But Nayeon was scared if she left Jennie time to dwell in her dorm room, the Slytherin wouldn't end up leaving her bed at all.

Taehyung and Nayeon attempt to get their friend talking, bringing up any topic they can think of that would usually have Jennie rambling, but their attempts are unsuccessful. Jennie simply prods at her food quietly, tired eyes glancing over to the Gryffindor table every now and then in search of Rosie, who is nowhere to be seen.

When a third year spills milk all over the table, Taehyung and Nayeon are sure that will get the Slytherin acting like her usual self again. They share worried looks when Jennie doesn't even so much as glare at her younger housemate, only pushing her now milk-doused plate out of the way and focusing on the cup of tea in front of her.

At Jennie's lack of a reaction, Taehyung takes it upon himself to scold the girl, cleaning up the mess with a wave of his wand and sending his housemate to a seat further down the table with a firm scowl.

"Jennie, you have to eat." The boy orders lightly, serving Jennie a new plate of food and setting it in front of her.

Jennie grunts in response, taking a bite of the toast before dropping it again.

"A new cafeteria opened in Hogsmeade last week." Nayeon says, snorting at Jennie encouragingly. "Maybe we could go there this afternoon? Get out of the castle a bit."

"Yes, I am up to that." Taehyung nods enthusiastically. "Apparently their food is great."

"I think I'll just go practice some Quidditch." Jennie murmurs, stirring her tea absently.

"That works too." Taehyung says. "I am always ready for a flying session."

Jennie looks at her friends with annoyed eyes. "I don't need a babysitter, guys."

"We know you don't." Nayeon sighs, "We just want to help you to keep your mind off things."

"Maybe I just want to be alone."

"What? So you can sink into misery for the next days?" Taehyung says. "We're going with you. That's final."

Jennie rolls her eyes, but doesn't bother to argue further. Instead, her gaze is drawn to the doors of the Great Hall, where Rosie enters with Joy and Wendy at her side.

The Slytherin's stomach immediately twists in guilt when she sees the swelling in Rosie's features, the younger girl clearly spending as much time crying the night before as Jennie. Rosie seems to be trying to keep her eyes on the ground, but is unsuccessful in her mission and is soon looking towards the Slytherin table.

When Rosie's eyes meet Jennie's eyes, Jennie feels her own eyes filling with tears.

Apparently this is what a broken heart feels like.

She clears , blinks the tears away, and goes back to her food.

"She looks terrible." Jennie snorts, fiddling with the silverware next to her.

"Well... what do expect? You broke up with her," Momo suddenly says, earning a glare and a kick from Nayeon. "What? I'm just saying. She wasn't going to be doing cartwheels in the corridor."

Jennie doesn't react to Momo's jokes, because, well... she's kind of right. She's just not exactly sure why she expected this to be even moderately easy to see.

"She will be fine," Nayeon says. "You both just need some time."

Jennie can't help but dare to look again in the direction of her now ex-girlfriend, who has sat with her back to the Slytherin table. Wendy joins her and Joy among the Gryffindors.

She doesn't need to see Rosie's face to know that the girl is far from okay, and when she sees Wendy lean toward her, Rosie quickly ducks her head, and Jennie jumps off the table. She doesn't say anything to Nayeon before running out of the Great Hall.

--

Jennie doesn't go on her scheduled patrol Tuesday night, managing to convince one of the fifth-year prefects to switch nights with her. Later, through a sarcastic comment from the boy about the senseless move, she learns that Rosie had arranged her own replacement as well.

Jennie doesn't want to feel hurt to know about this (because hey, she's been avoiding Rosie too), but she can't help the little twist in her stomach knowing that Rosie doesn't want to see her. But it's good, she tells herself. Because as long as Rosie is also keeping her space, Jennie has time to get used to being without the Gryffindor. And Merlin, she really needs to learn to accept the fact that they are done.

Breakfast and dinner are the only times she sees Rosie, but after Monday, Nayeon decides that Jennie should follow her ex's lead and sit with her back to the Gryffindor table. Jennie agrees with the idea, because even though her heart skips a beat just looking at Rosie, she can also feel herself breaking down whenever the girl's friends don't make her laugh.

Outside of class, Jennie spends most of her time at the lake, having a kind of entertainment doing mischief to the giant squid. The Slytherin common room gives her little comfort after Taehyung spread the news of Jennie and Rosie's new relationship status. Now Jennie can't even enter the space without someone tormenting her with questions and insults towards the Gryffindor.

Jennie is coming out of the lake and heading to the Great Hall for dinner when she sees Wendy coming out of the Greenhouse later on. The Slytherin's stomach drops and she keeps her head lowered as she passes by, hoping to go unnoticed.

"Jennie?"

Shuddering at Wendy's call, she stops and turns to look at the Ravenclaw.  "Oh, hi Wendy."

Sure, Jennie would have considered Wendy a friend before she and Rosie split, but now? Wendy is one of Rosie's best friends. It wouldn't be a surprise if the girl had less than kind feelings for her.

Wendy surprises her with a kind smile. "Are you going to the Great Hall?"

"Oh, yes."

"Cool. I'm going with you."

Jennie nods weakly, continuing her walk as Wendy approaches her. "So... are you working on a Herbology project or something?"

"Yes," Wendy smiles. "I'm writing a thesis about Snargaluffs."

Jennie's lips curl up at the girl's excitement, "Great."

"What about you?" Wendy says, "It's a little cold to be roaming the gardens."

"Warming Charms do wonders." Jennie says, "I've... I've been studying by the lake."

Wendy nods, a silence gripping the pair before she changes the conversation about the current fight between Peeves and the ghosts of the house. Jennie tries to participate, but her mind remains glued to Rosie, knowing that Wendy is one of the few people who could answer the questions she has about her ex. She knows she shouldn't ask about Rosie; it will only make her efforts to get on with her life that much more difficult. But Jennie can't help it, blurting out the question amid Wendy's rambling.

"How is she?" Jennie asks, Wendy immediately stops and meets her anxious gaze.

"You mean Chaeyoung?"

"Yes." Jennie nods, "I... I know I have no right to know anything, but I just... is she okay?"

Wendy smiles sympathetically, "She's... trying." She responds politically, "I think she just needs some time to herself, you know? I don't think Gryffindor Tower is the most pleasant place right now, so she's studying hard in the library."

Jennie frowns at that, "Are they saying bad things to her?"

"No, do not worry" Wendy shakes her head firmly, chuckling, "Joy is being her bodyguard."

"Right," Jennie mutters, "I can imagine she doesn't like me very much right now."

"Um... I think with the story between the two of you, there was only one way she was going to take the breakup," says the Ravenclaw, offering Jennie an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. I wasn't really expecting more." Jennie says, "I'm surprised she haven't had a party yet." She jokes weakly, getting a soft laugh from Wendy.

"She is a little more sensitive than that, thankfully." Wendy says, "She's just being a friend to Chaeyoung."

Jennie nods solemnly, feeling her heart tug at the thought that in the end, Sooyoung has won her over. She had always considered herself the "best" person in her rivalry with the girl. But here she is, longing for Rosie, while Sooyoung is with the girl picking up the pieces that Jennie broke her into. Maybe she is the bad one after all.

"I love her, you know?" Jennie admits in a low, vulnerable voice, "I... haven't stopped."

Wendy smiles softly, "I know."

"It just... started to hurt." Jennie continues, "And I couldn't see a way to fix things."

"Jennie, you don't need to explain me." Wendy assures, "It's okay."

Jennie bites her lower lip, glancing at the floor as they stop in front of the entrance to the Great Hall. "I've never loved anyone like her, you know," she murmurs, "Do you think... do you think I'm wrong?"

Wendy sighs, looking at Jennie with a helpless expression, "I think you two love each other very much." She offers, "But clearly, the problems you two had were real enough to hurt you. Sometimes love isn't all you need to make something work."

Jennie's heart falls at this, even though she already knew it. Because half of her wanted Wendy to say yes and tell her that she had made the worst mistake of her life. Just so she would have a reason to run back into Rosie's arms.

But Wendy is right, and Jennie knows it; and it still hurts a lot.

Wendy reaches out to squeeze Jennie's hand, bringing the Slytherin back to Earth, "I'll watch over her for you, okay?" She says, "Don't feel guilty, Chaeyoung will be fine."

"Thank you."

"No problem." Wendy smiles warmly, releasing Jennie's hand and nodding to the Great Hall, "Ready to go?"

Jennie looks towards the entrance, the idea of ​​another dinner where she has to resist Rosie's magnetic pull is not at all tempting to her. "Uh, I think I'm going to let it go. I'm not hungry."

Wendy doesn't fight Jennie about it, nodding in understanding, "Okay." She says, "I'll see you later then."

Jennie half smiles in response, watching Wendy walk away before the Ravenclaw turns around once more.

"Jennie?" she says, getting the girl's attention. "You'll be fine too." Wendy assures, and Jennie wants to believe her, "These things just take time."

At Jennie's weak nod, Wendy heads to the Great Hall to join her house for dinner.

Jennie lets out a sigh, listening to the loud chatter in the hall for a moment before heading to the Slytherin Dungeons.

--

Over the duration of their relationship, Rosie taught Jennie about many things that pertain to the Muggle world. Like radios, or pet goldfish, or the "Chirper" website the Gryffindor is obsessed with (which she was hardly ever able to access, thanks to the lack of internet connection and the weak signal from Hogwarts). Or maybe the site is called "Twatter", Jennie still isn't entirely sure. She had made a comment to Rosie at the time about how absurd Muggle names are, but after a dramatic snort from the girl, and the mention that wizards thought "Pygmy Puff" was an appropriate name for a creature, Jennie quickly retracts.

Anyway, of the many things Rosie taught Jennie about the Muggle world, one of those things (also, one of the most ) was the "Seven Stages of Grief" theory.
Rosie had been reading a piece of Muggle literature that had something to do with it, and as usual, she couldn't help but share her thoughts on the book with Jennie. As a result, Jennie learned much more about how Muggles apparently cope with loss.

Now, as Jennie remembers her times with Rosie constantly through her mind, she wonders if she is experiencing one of those seven stages. By the time Thursday rolls around, she appears to have entered the "anger" stage.

Jennie wakes up with poison onthe tip of her tongue and she's ready to spit insults at anyone who even looks at her the wrong way. Taehyung, unfortunately, is the poor victim of Jennie's bad mood after waking her up earlier than usual.

Jennie is angry.

She is angry at her classmates, for whispering false rumors about her and her break-up with Rosie every time Jennie passes by; she's mad at Nayeon, for treating her like she's made of glass; she is angry with Taehyung, for thinking that all his problems will be solved on the quidditch pitch; And she's mad at herself, for falling in love with a goddamn Gryffindor.

And then there's Rosie, who is self explanatory. She's mad at Rosie, because it just had to be the thing that would fix or break Jennie, and it turns out that she's the one breaking the girl.

Jennie manages to get through her Thursday classes with minimal hexes sent to her peers, and only one Saturday detention in return (which Jennie intends to get her Head of House to remove). She passes Quidditch practice with another frustrating lack of her usual talent on the field, and is the first to emerge from the locker room once Nayeon dispatches the team.

Jennie is returning to the castle, wanting to fall asleep and end the day, when she hears an irritatingly familiar voice say her name.

"Hey, Kim!"

Jennie is enraged, feline eyes looking to where Sooyoung has separated from her fellow Gryffindors and approaching her. Because of course, today has to be the day Jennie meets the girl.

"What do you want, Park?" Jennie spits, not slowing down as she walks.

"What do I want?" Joy laughs incredulously, "I've had my best friend crying all week because of you."

Jennie's expression falters at the information, her grip on her broom tightening, "Shouldn't you be celebrating?" She exclaims, "This is exactly what you wanted, isn't it?"

"No. I didn't want you near her in the first place. This is actually exactly what I knew it would happen."

Joy stands in front of Jennie, forcing the Slytherin to stop as she glares at the girl.

"I bet you're happy," she mutters, "You finally finished your little Gryffindor project."

Jennie's jaw clenches, "You have no idea how I feel."

"You know? For a second I thought it could all be genuine." Joy says, "But clearly I've been right about you all this time."

The Slytherin rolls her eyes, "Shut up, Park."

Joy blocks Jennie as the girl tries to get past her, clearly not finished with her attack. Jennie's knuckles are white from her strong grip on her broom, her patience fading fast.

"I knew you would hurt her."

Jennie lets out a bitter laugh at that, "Oh, I hurt her?" She repeats, "Wow. How about you ask your 'best friend' the real details before attacking me?"

"How am I supposed to do that when she doesn't even speak to someone?" Joy snaps at her, "You never deserved her."

"Get out of my way."

"You are the same arrogant, slimy Slytherin you've always been." The Gryffindor growls, "I can't believe Roseanne thinks you are worth crying over..."
Jennie's broom is on the ground and her wand is pressed against Joy's chest before she realizes that it has caught up with her, feline eyes swimming in disgust for the girl.

"I'd stop talking if I were you." She threatens, "I don't have to worry about what Rosie thinks of me anymore."

Jennie can't help but feel like this is quite convenient for the day she's having. If she's going to take it out on someone, Park Sooyoung is probably the best case.

"I bet it feels great, doesn't it?" Joy replies, "You don't have to pretend you're a decent person anymore now that you've dumped Roseanne."

Joy lets out a scream as she is dragged back by the spell coming off Jennie's wand, the Slytherin moving rapidly towards where the Gryffindor lands on the ground.

"Have you forgotten why the obnoxious Gryffindors think Slytherins are evil?" She rages, pressing the wand hard against Joy's chest, "I wouldn't be teasing me if I were you."

Jennie is tempted to cast a nasty spell on Joy, but the voice of reason (which sounds a lot like Rosie's) in her head stops her, and with one final look she turns on her heel and storms off. Joy is apparently not happy just to let her go and Jennie hears the Gryffindor yell something right before she finds their legs joined in response. Jennie hits the ground hard, and the Slytherin quickly yells a counter-spell and spreads her legs just as Joy approaches her. Joy kicks Jennie's wand out of her hand before casting a spell that feels like a strong kick to her face and Jennie immediately feels hot blood running down her skin.

"Why couldn't you just leave her alone?!" Joy yells.

Jennie dives into Joy's legs before she can cast another spell, fighting her rival for the wand in her hand and finally taking it away. She tosses the wand to the side, managing to grab the front of Joy's robe and holding the girl to the ground. Jennie is as shocked as Joy when her fist collides with the Gryffindor's jaw, her hand immediately protesting in pain. But it feels good and Jennie is about to send another punch to the girl's face when she suddenly finds a pair of arms trying to pull her back.

"Jennie!" Nayeon exclaims, reaching where Momo is holding Jennie back and helping her girlfriend get Jennie away from Joy.

Jennie stumbles backward, seeing red and trying to reach the Gryffindor again only for Momo's arms to wrap around her waist to stop her.

"This is your fault!" Jennie screams, eyes never leaving Joy's, "It all starts and ends with you!"

Joy seems surprised by Jennie's outburst, pausing before she throws a glare at the Slytherin and gets up off the ground.

"You couldn't just take the Quidditch from me, right?" Jennie continues, the feeling of struggle within her diminishing, being replaced by the familiar feeling of emptiness that has haunted her all week. "Let me go." She mutters, pushing Momo away and wiping the blood from the side of her face as she scowls at Joy, "You got what you wanted. Rosie is all yours." Jennie spits out, "So how about you leave me alone and enjoy having your perfect little world rebuilt again?"
Joy doesn't respond and Jennie swears she almost sees a flash of guilt crossing the girl's features before she walks away from the Gryffindor and goes to grab her wand and broom, without saying another word to Joy and her friends before leaving.

--

Jennie finds solace by the lake, not bothering to return to the castle after her encounter with Joy. After all, she will only get more expectant stares from her peers because of her appearance and Nayeon will no doubt be looking forward to playing therapist when she arrives.

So instead Jennie is standing by the lake, throwing rocks and watching the giant squid pull a tentacle out of the water every now and then to hit one. She doesn't know how long she's been there thinking before hearing someone come up behind her.

"Jennie?"

The Slytherin isn't sure how, but her heart skips and closes in her chest at Rosie's harsh voice. She finishes the stone throw with a weak movement, without turning to look at her ex-girlfriend. Honestly, she's not really sure she can handle it.

"I'm going to assume this is not a coincidence." She sighs, scanning the ground for another stone, "How did you find me?"

Jennie hears Rosie move behind her, and she can easily imagine the eager look that no doubt adorns the girl's features.

"You'd be surprised how much you learn about someone after being with them for a long enough time," Rosie replies, the sarcasm lost in the sadness in her tone.

Jennie finds a stone, picks it up off the ground, and lets out a hollow giggle. "Really?" She jokes, throwing the stone into the lake.

The giant squid is quick for this one, hitting the stone to the other side of the lake. Jennie looks out into the water as the tentacle falls back below the surface, and hears Rosie let out a sigh, her feet crunching against the ground as the Gryffindor steps forward.
Jennie sees Rosie move out of the corner of her eye, feeling the girl look at her as she refuses to look away from the lake.

"I heard about what happened with Joy." The younger girl starts out hesitantly, "Are you okay?"

Jennie wants to laugh, because of course she's not okay. But she knows she doesn't need to give Rosie that answer; the Gryffindor knows it too. After all, if Jennie is dealing so badly with things, she's willing to bet Rosie isn't doing so well either.

"I'm fine" She responds unconvincingly, and finally turns his head to offer Rosie a weak smile, "I only cast a spell on a few people today. So that's positive."

Rosie doesn't respond to the joke, her eyes fall on the wound that Joy left on Jennie's face.

"Jennie..." Rosie's hand instinctively reaches out to cover the Slytherin's face, her thumb brushing the skin below the wound on Jennie's cheek, dried blood staining her pale skin.

Jennie doesn't walk away, but when Rosie's thumb presses against her skin, she flinches slightly, causing the younger girl to pull her hand out.

"Sorry". Rosie stutters, "Habit."

Jennie looks at where Rosie's hand clenches into a fist beside her, "It's okay." she says softly.

Rosie stares at the ground for a moment, seemingly struggling to get her next words out before looking at her again, "Joy shouldn't have come after you like that."

Jennie shrugs, shifting her gaze to the lake, "I mean, I cast a spell on her first."

"However, I cannot imagine that it was not provoked."

"Are you sure about that?" Jennie says.

Rosie doesn't contradict her, and shakes her head, "Either way, I'm sorry. I know Joy wouldn't have approached you if she wasn't trying to get some kind of reaction."

Jennie sighs, "You shouldn't have to apologize for her."

"She only did it because she thinks you are the only one to blame." Rosie says, "That's my fault. I haven't…" she lets out a sigh, "I don't want to talk about it yet."

Jennie chuckles, "But isn't it my fault?" She asks, "After all, I did exactly what she said I would do, didn't I? I hurt you."

"Don't blame yourself-"

"Why not? Everyone else seems happy that I'm playing the bad guy," Jennie says.

"I'm the one who blew it. I hurt you." Rosie says, "You never did anything wrong."

"Yeah, well... I think it doesn't really matter," Jennie mutters, reaching down to pick up a stone once more, throwing it only to have the stone fall pathetically straight into the water. Jennie looks at the ripples against the water with irritation, "They'll blame me because they always need a good reason to hate a Slytherin. That's how it works."

"I won't let them."

Jennie looks at Rosie, her eyes tracing the girl's features with an unreadable expression. Finally, she lets out a sigh, shifting instead, "I should go." She says, "Nayeon is probably organizing a search party."

Rosie's face falls, but she nods weakly, "Sure." She agrees, following Jennie as the Slytherin walks over to where her things are a few feet away, "I... um... will I see you tonight?"

Jennie frowns, picks up her broom and turns to Rosie, "Tonight?"

"Patrol."

"Oh yeah..." The older girl mutters, fiddling with her broom awkwardly, "Actually I- uh- traded nights with one of the fifth years."

Rosie pauses, fiddling with her sleeves, "Oh."

"I'm sorry Rosie, I thought it would be for the best."

"Erase me from your life completely?" Rosie lets out a soft, pain-filled laugh, "So, I think it was stupid of me to think that you might be having second thoughts."

Jennie immediately regrets meeting Rosie's gaze when she sees broken brown eyes, "Rosie..." she says helplessly.

The younger girl swallows the lump in , "You don't even want to talk about things?" She says weakly, "I thought... I thought maybe once you calmed down..."

"Rosie, I was serious," Jennie says, trying to be firm despite clearly knowing that her expression must betray her, "I wasn't asking for a break."

"I just don't understand how you go from telling me you love me one day to wanting nothing to do with me the next."

"It is not like this."Jennie brusquely defends herself, "I'm just trying to do what's best for myself. We weren't working out, Rosie. And everything won't magically be okay after a little talk."

"I want to try harder..."

"It's too late." Jennie says wearily, "Right now what I need, what I think you also need, is space."

Rosie's need to fight seems to diminish, and her eyes water, "Space." She repeats, clears and lets out a shaky breath. "You know, I've been avoiding you all week and the only thing this 'space' has done is ruin me. So I'm not really convinced by that idea at the moment."

Jennie doesn't know what to say, because it's not like she's been better. So she says nothing, adjusting her grip on her broom.

"I know what I need." Rosie continues eventually, determination suddenly shining in her eyes as she looks at Jennie, "I don't need space to find out." She states, "I'm going to show you that we can make it work, Jennie. I don't care how long it takes."

"What if I don't want you to show it?" Jennie argues weakly.

The fierceness in Rosie's gaze wavers for a second before she finds her again, shaking her head, "You can tell yourself all that, but I don't believe you." She confidently says, "I love you, Jennie. And I know you love me and I know I ed up, but... I'm going to fix everything."

Jennie wishes Rosie's words comforted her, but they only remind her of the things that brought them here in the first place. She wishes she could trust Rosie's feelings, trust that the girl's claims are genuine. But instead she's just plagued by the idea that this is simply Rosie's need for affection. That it's not about Jennie, but about the security she offers the Gryffindor.

Because after all Rosie had Jennie.

And if she was so special to her, how could she let Jennie feel like she was anything less than that?

--

see you later.

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chaennieconvert
by the way, did i mention that english isn't my first language therefore please do ignore if you see a mistake here and there... i'm translating this back to english on my own and sometimes it's a little bit difficult.

happy reading!
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