Chapter 26

Better Together!
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Morning after the wonderful stargazing moment.

 

Seungwan drops the last bag into Joohyun’s car “All finished, unnie”

“Thanks” Joohyun watches the younger girl carefully “Did you get enough sleep?”

 

Seungwan focuses her tired eyes at the fog surrounding the campsite

“I think you already know the answer” she whispers quietly

 

Last night, Seungwan didn't go back to their shared tent. She stayed in Joohyun’s car to clear her mind from negative thoughts.

 

“I’m sorry”

“No, don’t apologize again. We can pretend that last night didn’t happen” The younger girl mutters, more to herself. She wants to forget about last night.

 

Joohyun sighs before lowering her gaze to her dirty shoes “I’m not ready to start a relationship, Seungwan-ah”

 

“I understand. I’ll wait until you’re ready”

Funny, she told someone else not to wait for her before

 

“No I...I’ll never be ready for a relationship with anyone”

“What do you mean by never?”

“I’m still afraid and I don’t want to hurt you or anyone with my insecurities and then get hurt myself”

Joohyun bits her lips before lifting up her eyes to stare back at the younger girl “I think it’s best for us to stay friends, like this”

 

“We can still hurt each other even if we’re friends”

“It’s different”

“How different?”

“...I’m sorry, Seungwan-ah”

“You haven’t answered my questions, unnie. Tell me how different?”

“I’ve been told that I’m not a good lover, I got cheated on because of it. I’m not as great as you think I am” Joohyun eyes glistened with tears “Even now I’m hurting you aren’t I? So why don’t we just stop?”

 

“I’ve known you enough to understand that you’re not a perfect human being. But does it make you a bad lover? No. Because I know when you care about someone you’ll do everything for them. So I don't believe him. You’re not a bad lover, it’s him who projected his delusion on you. He cheated but put the blame on you. That’s what he did”

 

“...”

 

“Unnie, let me prove it to you that he’s wrong” Seungwan hopes the older girl will listen to her and stop blaming herself.

 

But Joohyun is too deep in her self deprecation and sadness that she fails to see how genuine Seungwan’s feeling is to her.

 

“What if he’s right?”

 

“Unnie…”

 

“What if you’ll also leave me? I believed he was the one for me, at some point he loved me but things changed, his feelings changed, it can happen to you too!”

 

Seungwan stares hard at Joohyun “Isn’t it unfair that you judge me before you even let me prove myself?”

 

She shakes her head sadly “No matter what I say now won’t move you because you already think that I can’t be trusted with your feelings. That I’m just like that bastard, your ex”

 

“Seungwan…I’m...”

 

“I get it unnie” Seungwan tries hard not to break down in front of her “We’ll stay friends as you wish”

 

Joohyun can only look at Seungwan’s slumped back as she walks to the driver seat.

 

She can’t say anything because yes she’s being unfair...again

It only proves that she’s really the worst human being to her loved one

 

He’s right

There’s nothing good in me.

 

**

 

The drive back to Seoul is filled with silence.

They are drowning in their own thoughts. Negative thoughts.

 

Seungwan immediately takes all her belongings as soon as they arrive at her dorm.

The older girl awkwardly stands beside her car, contemplating on what to say.

 

“Um...We should do it again next time with the girls”

The younger girl grips her bag tightly, still refusing to look at her “If that’s what you want”

She bows a little and walks into her dorm without looking back or saying goodbye

Seeing that, Joohyun's heart breaks a little.

 

We aren't even in a relationship but why does it hurt?

 

**

 

As soon as she closes the door, seungwan breaks down.

The tears that she kept before, now can’t stop flowing

Her back hunches as she buries her face in her arms

She has experienced rejection before but nothing compared to this.

 

Guess she likes joohyun a little too much.

 

“Oh you’re back…” Sooyoung appeared from their kitchen

“Wannie?!” She gasps and immediately engulfs her in a hug “Did something happen?”

She knows that the older girl went to a campsite with Irene. She was so happy before.

But what happened?

 

Seungwan looks up at Sooyoung. Her eyes are red.

“I just got rejected”

“Oh, Wannie” Sooyoung pulls her head to her neck, patting her back up and down, giving her strength.

Why did Joohyun reject her friend??

Just who the she think she is?

 

Seungwan kept herself in her room for the rest of the day.

She just came out when she needed to eat.
 

“What the hell is wrong with your friend?” Sooyoung confronts Seulgi through a phone call

“She came home crying. She didn’t tell me much. Just ask your friend”

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