~~

Yoongi goes on hiatus, outright ignores any social media for three whole days because it’s just too much to handle right now. He busies himself with paid commissions, busies himself with friends from university that he hasn’t seen in a while and with reorganising his life into something that’s just a little better than absolute shambles.

Some higher being must find irony hilarious, because when he returns to the online world on that fourth day, he finds only a single post from Jimin.

Yoongi spins idly in his chair, staring at the ceiling and wondering where in life he went so wrong.

Yoongi decides that’s okay. He lets himself spend the week cooped up in the home studio, smoothing over those rough edges on his new track until he’s slightly more content with the final product. It’s good work – Namjoon makes sure to tell him that a hundred times over, because Yoongi’s really not good at deciding when to stop. The artist’s curse, really: nothing’s ever finished, and Yoongi at finding that balance between perfection and effort spent.

He uploads it nearly a whole week after the ‘gay incident’, late on a Friday night that means nothing to Yoongi. As soon as that little green tick of confirmation appears, he powers down the PC and takes Namjoon out for dinner (Chinese, of course). Yoongi has worked non-stop all week and kind of neglected their friendship, so it’s only fair.

They spoil themselves and eat in the restaurant, ordering a few bottles of soju to share as if it were a celebration – and Yoongi supposes it is, a strange celebration of their messy world. Namjoon tells Yoongi about all the things Kim Seokjin has done in the last week to make him miserable, and in turn Yoongi complains about all the things Jimin hasn’t done in the last week (which still makes him miserable – there’s no winners in this game).

When they finally arrive home later that evening, Yoongi surprises them both and stays out in the loungeroom to chill with Namjoon. They binge episodes of Gordon Ramsay’s Behind Bars in nearly unbearable quality that Namjoon had ripped straight from the internet, chatting lightly between the bursts of chaos with tongues loosened (and maybe sweetened, although Yoongi would never admit it) by the alcohol.

Yoongi doesn’t know when he falls asleep, only becomes aware of it when Namjoon wakes them up at 7 am to shift them into a more comfortable position on the couch together – which Yoongi supposes he’s grateful for, given the pain forming in his shoulder from leaning against Namjoon’s side with his head tipped back. He’s not exactly one for cuddling, so his willingness to spoon with Namjoon on the couch surprises even him.

He finally accepts consciousness when it’s past 3 in the afternoon, and also accepts that his sleep schedule is somehow already screwed up despite his efforts to fix it just a week prior. Namjoon brews coffee like it’s not late afternoon, his shirt and pants wrinkled to all hell with hair sticking out at odd angles. Yoongi supposes someone might find it endearing, but personally, he has to resist the urge to pick on Namjoon for it.

He checks his phone but finds no new notifications...not any important ones, at least – the label of which really only extends to a certain study blogger on the internet. He always mutes the notifications on any of his songs, so there’s nothing for that either. There’s never much activity around his music releases anyway.

Yoongi is somewhat disappointed – Jimin’s exams must be over by now, although he supposes it’s completely logical that Jimin would take a break after his tough week to rest and recuperate.

“What are you doing tonight?” Yoongi asks, twisting to lean over the back of the sofa. Namjoon turns around and shrugs.

“I have an existential crisis due by midnight, but I’m sure that can wait.”

Yoongi grins. “There’s an... event happening tonight, under that old hotel out west. We should go.”

Namjoon narrows his eyes playfully. “An event, you say?”

“An event indeed.”

“I haven’t been to anything since the cops shutdown that one show in the fields,” Namjoon muses, leaning over the back of the sofa. Yoongi accepts the second mug in his hand gratefully, only realising how cold his fingers are once they settle against the hot ceramic.

“Ah, tons of people got ed by that,” Yoongi says thoughtfully – it had been bad. Nothing illegal about a group of people meeting up to listen to music and perform, except for the unlicensed sale of alcohol and all the illicit drug use and the fact that they were quite a large group of people gathering on some poor farmer’s far field to blare hip-hop at obscene volumes. Yoongi’s just glad they weren’t there that night.

Nothing had been the same since in the underground rap scene. “This one’s meant to be small-ish, didn’t even know about it until Kihyun mentioned something last week,” he explains mildly, blowing the steam from his coffee.

Namjoon grins. “You gonna get up there?”

“No ing way,” Yoongi responds immediately, wrinkling his nose. “I’ve got all on those guys, they’re good.”

“That’s a lie, and you know it,” Namjoon scolds, face falling into a frown. “You make better stuff that any of the asshats up there.”

Yoongi averts his eyes, suddenly way too exhausted to be having this conversation. “Whatever. You in or nah?”

Namjoon claps him on the shoulder, causing Yoongi to nearly spill his coffee. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

~~

Yoongi’s definitely not sober, even if he’d only had a few beers. High by association, Namjoon had called it once – a great description of Yoongi’s current status. He falls face-first into his bed, awkwardly wriggling his way under the blankets. His body feels heavy and numb, voice hoarse and throat burning from the way he’d been shouting most of the night.

He misses this. Maybe not the aftermath of exhaustion and fuzzy headaches, but the feeling of being alive, of smoke-filled rooms thrumming with energy and a music so deep it shakes the soul. He misses finding old friends amongst the mingling crowd, and making new ones – friendships forged in shared passion, that unspoken bond between a group of strangers that holds stronger than anything Yoongi can think of.

He fumbles with his phone charger, refusing to make that mistake again. There’s still no notifications, which Yoongi finds incredibly rude because why wouldn’t Jimin realise how much this impacts a total stranger on the internet?

Yoongi snorts and rolls over. boys, he thinks decidedly.