now playing: a white night - irene
"a midsummer's night dream"

 

“we’re sorry miss bae joohyun, you were a promising candidate but our evaluators have decided on another candidate. we wish you the best of luck in your endeavours.”

 

crossing out yet another news station on the list in her notebook, joohyun let out a long sigh. she tried not to feel disheartened by the multiple crossed off items on the list but it was difficult; facing rejection again and again, feeling her self-doubt grow each time while her self confidence diminished. it wasn’t easy to keep going. many times she questioned whether she was walking the right path or whether she made the right decision to pursue her dream instead of taking a safer, easier option. she questioned her own ability all the time; was she just not good enough? was she just not cut out for this career? would she ever make it in this industry?

 

joohyun looked out of her window, staring out into the dark night and the faint lights in the distance. the stars weren’t entirely visible in the sky but the moon was shining bright. she stared at the moon, as she always did, appreciating the existence of something that was so beautiful, always there every night and always so comforting.

 

it was the middle of summer and her old air conditioning system wasn’t working entirely well. adding that to her endless stream of worries and doubts equaled another sleepless night for her.

 

she sat at the small table beside the window in her small, rented apartment in a worn out building that was an hour bus ride away from the city and wondered if this was the right choice. was this the life she wanted? was this struggle worth it?

 

the old air conditioning machine whirred rather loudly behind her and she feared it would start smoking if she kept it running any longer so she turned it off.

 

as soon as the loud, struggling fan was allowed rest and fell quiet, joohyun heard it. very faintly, the sound of a guitar being strummed. she almost had to strain to be able to hear it and joohyun tilted her head, trying to work out where the sound came from.

 

after a minute of listening in silence, she was fairly certain it wasn’t from a unit on her floor or above her. it sounded too clear to be from within four walls.

 

it must be coming from the rooftop.

 

joohyun had half a mind to go up to the rooftop, but to do what, she wasn’t sure. she was just bored because she couldn’t sleep.

 

don’t be silly, why would you go up to see a random person playing a guitar? she asked herself, slipping back under the thin cover on her bed that still felt a bit too thick in this heat. just try to sleep again.

 

closing her eyes, she focused her thoughts only on the sound of the melody the guitar sang, allowing the gentle and careful strumming of the strings to finally lull her into slumber.

 

~

 

“is the patty really two for the price of one?”

 

“yes.”

 

“then could i get that please?”

 

“yes.” joohyun put in the order, taking the cash from the man before she headed into the kitchen to make the burger.

 

it was just like any other day, any other night. she always worked alone in the store after 8 because it was rarely busy after dinner and it was boring to stay in an empty store but at least she could use the time to study for her next job interview while still getting paid at her part-time job.

 

she brought the burger with two patties out to the customer, offering a polite smile before she went back to her counter where her laptop and notebook were. she had only just picked up her pen when the door opened and joohyun looked up attentively to the new customer. it was a young woman, probably a college student, and joohyun headed over to the ordering counter to take her order.

 

the customer stared up at the menu, taking a while to read and joohyun figured it must be her first time in this store because usually people knew what they wanted before reaching the counter. she squinted her eyes trying to read the small font on the menu screen and joohyun hid a smile at how endearing that was.

 

she had nice eyes and she was really pretty, joohyun thought while she was still deciding her order. most of the time, joohyun didn’t pay much attention to her customers, but every once in a while there would be a customer that she found particularly attractive and she would catch herself noticing more about them. it would never lead to anything of course; she wasn’t the type of person to speak up or initiate anything and she was also at work so there was probably some rule against her acting unprofessionally.

 

the pretty customer finally ordered the burger she wanted and joohyun asked if she wanted a drink, finger hovering over the button on the register because she expected a quick reply.

 

she glanced up when she received no reply, making eye contact.

 

“s-sorry?” the girl became flustered when she realised she had missed the question.

 

“did you want a drink with your meal?” joohyun repeated politely.

 

“oh sure, yeah! okay.” the girl fumbled for her wallet in her tote bag and that was when joohyun noticed the guitar she was carrying on her back. it made her think of the guitar sounds she heard the other night and she unknowingly smiled at the coincidence.

 

“here.” she handed the money to joohyun, giving her a smile because she had the exact amount. her smile was so bright and genuine that joohyun almost forgot to take the money. it was always a nice change to have customers who were so cheerful and friendly.

 

“thank you. you can take a table and i’ll bring the food to you when it's ready.” she said politely, putting the money into the register.

 

“thank you!” she chirped, walking off to find a seat.

 

she was so lively and she radiated such a nice aura that joohyun couldn’t even be annoyed that her study had been interrupted.

 

after making the burger carefully (joohyun didn’t know why she felt the need to put extra care into making it), she brought it out to the table the girl had chosen next to the window so she could look outside.

 

when joohyun put the tray of food down she noticed the notepad on the table with chords scribbled all over. she couldn’t read music of course, it looked like a completely foreign language to her, but she found herself curious.

 

“this is just something silly i thought of.” the soft voice broke her out of her focused stare at the notepad and she felt the heat rush to her cheeks because she had been caught looking at someone else’s belongings.

 

the girl didn’t seem to be offended or annoyed, looking at her with a slightly sheepish smile. “it’s not that good.” she tapped the paper lightly with her pen.

 

“oh i can’t read it.” joohyun quickly said, clarifying the misunderstanding that she might have been judging it. “i just think it’s cool...that you wrote it.”

 

she was once again given that nice smile that showed the dimple on her chin and made her eyes disappear, and joohyun felt shy because she was really pretty.

 

“thank you. that’s really nice of you.” she said.

 

joohyun bit her lip, nodding with a small smile and mumbled a ‘you’re welcome enjoy your meal’ before she turned and quickly walked back to the kitchen.

 

she went back to studying but frequently kept an eye on the front of the store to make sure there weren’t any customers and found her gaze always going back to the girl by the window.

 

but she was just another customer, and to her, joohyun was just another server at a restaurant. they’d interact briefly like this and then go on their separate ways and lives, just like how it was with any other customer.

~

 

each day felt the same. the hours of the day passed by meaninglessly, with the same repetitive routines and the same tasks each day.

 

the route she walked between the restaurant and home was the same boring trip as it was every day.

 

every day she went to the same few places. the burger restaurant she worked at, the same few restaurants she went to for quick and cheap meals, the convenience store down the road, and the kim’s house where she babysat their son.

 

nothing new. as usual.

 

no callbacks from any of the places she sent applications to.

 

joohyun wondered, while she walked down the street, if she just wasn’t meant to be in this field of work. maybe her true calling was making burgers. she was pretty fast at it after all.

 

imagining a life of working in the food industry and what her parents would say made her laugh bitterly to herself. no, she couldn’t give up. not after she so confidently stood up to her parents to pursue her dream career and even left home to prove how dedicated she was.

 

how humiliating and shameful it would be if she were to go back, having failed her dream, and admit to them that she was wrong. the thought of having to do that was enough motivation to keep her going for another day.

 

she never paid attention to any of the buskers on the busy main street she walked down after finishing her shift at work. the music played by their speakers blended in with the natural noise of the lively street bustling with people and to joohyun, it was just white noise she could filter out.

 

for some reason though, one familiar sound cut through her unfocused thoughts and brought her back into reality. maybe it was because recently she had become accustomed to falling asleep every night to the same sound.

 

she turned to the direction it came from and saw the girl on the side of the street playing the guitar with a mic stand in front of her. joohyun walked over, joining the few people that stood around to admire her music and as soon as she was close enough she was struck by the familiarity of the girl.

 

without missing a beat or a note, the girl made brief eye contact with joohyun and flashed a smile before looking back in the general direction of everyone else. now joohyun remembered. she was the pretty girl that came to her restaurant a few nights ago. she had her guitar that night too, so had she been busking that night?

 

she had a really good voice that sounded both powerful and soft and joohyun found herself listening and staring intently. she sang with a smile on her face and even as an onlooker, joohyun could feel the happiness she felt when she was singing. this must be what it looked like to do something you enjoyed and loved, she thought to herself and she longed to experience that kind of joy.

 

joohyun glanced down at the open guitar bag with a few coins and notes scattered inside and although she didn’t have a good understanding of the expected earnings of a busker, she knew it wasn’t much. compared to some of the other buskers she had occasionally seen, this girl had a much more humble and simple set up. just her, the guitar, and the microphone. no signs or speakers or anything else.

 

her initial happiness for the girl faded into sympathy and pity. although it didn't look like she minded, joohyun could imagine it must be disheartening to receive a small audience and only a handful of donations. joohyun just hoped that maybe she earned more on other days or at other times. or maybe that this wasn't her only job and just a hobby.

 

even as onlookers walked away and the audience grew smaller and smaller, she kept singing with the same smile on her face. her positivity was truly admirable, joohyun thought. how could she be so cheerful even when hardly anyone was appreciating her efforts? if it were her, she would’ve packed up everything already and ran far away to avoid humiliation.

 

maybe she cared too much about what others thought. maybe she was too obsessed about success or recognition that she stopped thinking about simply enjoying the moments and doing what she enjoyed. joohyun was so busy introspecting that she didn’t realise she was the last person standing in place when the music had stopped.

 

“hi.”

 

joohyun blinked, falling back to the present and she looked at the person who spoke to her. the girl was crouched down, zipping up the guitar bag and she gave her another look with a soft smile.

 

“you work at that burger place, right?”

 

joohyun was surprised that she remembered, but then again, she also remembered her. she nodded and then to fill the awkward silence, said, “you’re really good at singing... and playing the guitar.” she said, hoping her awkwardness didn’t make her sound ingenuine.

 

“thanks!” she said with a wide smile, packing up the mic stand. “are you working tonight?” she asked.

 

“i finished my shift already.” joohyun replied. she purposely asked for a shorter shift because she had to prepare for a mock exam tomorrow, but she didn’t need to tell a stranger that much information.

 

“i see.”

 

joohyun shifted her feet, becoming aware of how her hands hung awkwardly on her sides and she wondered what she was meant to do with them.

“so are you heading home now?” the girl asked and joohyun nodded. maybe it was because she was pretty and one of the kindest looking people joohyun had ever met, because she normally wouldn’t tell a stranger where she was going.

 

“which way are you going?”

 

“that way.”

 

“oh, same.” she said, and joohyun couldn’t decide whether she felt suspicious or excited about that. “can i walk with you?” she asked considerately, making joohyun feel slightly more at ease.

 

“of course.” joohyun replied with a small smile.

 

“i’m seulgi, by the way.” she said, hoisting the guitar onto her back and offering one hand out.

 

joohyun shook her hand gently, noting how soft her hands were but how the pads of her fingers were rougher, no doubt from the guitar playing. “joohyun.”

 

“pretty name.” seulgi commented and joohyun mumbled a shy ‘thanks’.

 

they walked down the street quietly and joohyun noticed how seulgi kept slowing down to match her slightly slower pace.

 

“do you always busk?” she asked after a while to break the silence.

 

“i only do it on friday, saturday, and sunday nights.” seulgi replied. “when it’s busier.”

 

joohyun nodded and they fell back into silence.

 

“so...um…are you studying?” seulgi asked, and it was endearing how she was purposely finding things to make conversation with.

 

joohyun looked at her with a surprised and confused expression that made seulgi panic, fearing she said the wrong thing.

 

“s-sorry, i don’t mean to assume, i was just- because you work part-time and you always have textbooks so-”

 

“no, it’s okay.” joohyun quickly reassured her and an amused smile formed on her face when she realised seulgi noticed those details about her. “i was just surprised that you thought i was still studying. i guess it’s a compliment.”

 

seulgi looked at her with curious eyes, “are you not like...20?” she asked innocently, surprised when joohyun let out a laugh. she blinked, feeling a bit flustered because clearly she had guessed wrong.

 

“are you 20?”

 

“yes.” seulgi replied, scratching her nape sheepishly. she thought they were the same age all this time. “so how old are you?”

 

joohyun turned to look at her, cupping one hand around as if she was going to tell a secret and the playful gesture made seulgi smile as she leaned closer. “i’m 23.” she said.

 

“that’s not that much older.” seulgi said, making joohyun chuckle. “so, what do you do?” seulgi asked curiously.

 

joohyun’s playful smile faded when she heard that question and seulgi panicked for the second time.

 

“you don’t have to tell me, of course. i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have pried. just ignore me, pretend i didn’t ask.”

 

“no, it’s not you. it’s not that.” joohyun said, feeling bad for making the atmosphere tense. “i’m just trying to get a job. it’s not that easy unfortunately.” she said, deciding to keep it at that level of vagueness.

 

“i understand.” seulgi said, nodding quickly. “it’s okay, i’m sure you will get one soon!” she said optimistically, deciding not to pry any deeper and just be satisfied with the current answer.

 

“what about you?” joohyun asked, noticing they had walked to the smaller streets in the suburb towards her home but seulgi hadn’t spoken up about where she was meant to be heading.

 

“i didn’t go to university.” she gave a small laugh but joohyun noticed the lack of cheerfulness in her tone. “i finished high school and thought ‘i don’t need to study, i’ll just be a musician and become famous’ so i spent all my time practicing and doing auditions, and well, as you can see… i haven’t exactly become famous.” she chuckled.

 

joohyun wasn’t sure if she was meant to laugh and as she looked at seulgi, who was still holding up a cheerful and bright image, she could see a mirror reflection of herself. they were more similar than joohyun thought.

 

she couldn’t help but think about the small amount of donations and the small crowd during her busking performance. she thought about how seulgi’s dream of being a musician was probably even more difficult than her dream of being a news anchor.

 

“it’s okay though! i’m hopeful.” seulgi said, giving her a reassuring smile to erase the sympathetic gaze in her eyes. “i’m sure if i work hard, i will achieve what i want someday.” she said and joohyun really admired that positivity.

 

“and you too, joohyun.” she said, making joohyun feel flustered all of a sudden. as the shy and reserved person she was, she never knew how to properly reply to people who were so enthusiastic and energetic.

 

she just ducked her head in a shy nod, smiling a little.

 

“oh, i’m home now.” seulgi said, looking up at the building. joohyun followed her gaze and she furrowed her brows in confusion.

 

“this is my building…” she said, still not realising.

 

“huh? really?” seulgi looked at her. “no way, what a coincidence.”

 

“you live here too?” joohyun must’ve been tired because she was normally not this slow.

 

“yep! i’m a rooftop resident.” seulgi grinned proudly.

 

“rooftop…” joohyun mumbled, the pieces finally falling in place and her eyes widened at the realisation that the guitar she had been hearing from the rooftop at night was seulgi.

 

“that’s actually so cool.” seulgi said, “what floor are you on?”

 

“three.” joohyun said, following seulgi up the steps to the entrance. the building only had four storeys and she didn’t even know the rooftop had a place to live. joohyun checked the letterbox quickly, taking out an envelope that had the stamp of the academy. she bit her lip, shoving it into her bag and if seulgi noticed, she didn’t question.

 

“have you ever been on the rooftop?” seulgi asked.

 

joohyun shook her head.

 

“wanna come look?” she suggested and joohyun hesitated. she really needed to prepare for the mock exam tomorrow, but the way seulgi looked at her so hopefully and the thought of wanting to know more about the younger girl made her nod.

 

they made their way up the stairs to the rooftop, the breeze gentle against their faces and even the air felt fresher.

 

“the view is nice.” joohyun said, not realising that she could see so much more of the surrounding area from here. she turned to look at the small unit on the rooftop that looked a little bit like a shed. “you live there?” she asked.

 

seulgi nodded, smiling sheepishly. “it was cheap rent and no one comes up here, so i have all-” she spread her arms out. “-this space to myself.” she said happily.

 

“no one comes up here?”

 

“yeah.” seulgi dropped her arms back down to her side. “the tenants are all too old.”

 

“hey...”

 

“i didn’t mean you!” seulgi quickly shook her head and waved her hands frantically, the sight making joohyun giggle. “i didn’t know you lived here until now.”

 

“i know.” joohyun laughed.

 

seulgi grinned, watching her for a while. “wait a second.” she said, turning to unlock the door and she disappeared inside for a minute before coming back out with two cans of soft drinks and her excited smile was contagious. “let’s sit over there.” she said, beckoning joohyun over to the small table and two chairs facing the view. she looked so eager to have someone’s company that joohyun didn’t have the heart to say no to her.

 

“so when did you start living here?” seulgi asked, opening her can.

 

“earlier this year.” joohyun replied, copying seulgi’s actions.

 

“oh me too. i moved here in may.” seulgi replied. “i used to live in a sharehouse but i couldn’t really practice freely because there were people around.” she said. “so i decided to move out by myself. and now i have this private dance studio.” she swept her arm out to the vast empty space on the rooftop.

 

“you dance?” joohyun asked.

 

seulgi nodded, “i like dancing.”

 

“what else do you like?”

 

“i just like anything to do with music. and arts. i like photography and drawing and painting too.” she said.

 

joohyun looked at her in awe at how many interests one person could have. joohyun couldn’t name one hobby of her own. she couldn’t even remember the last time she indulged in a hobby or interesting pastime that didn’t involve studying for exams and interviews.

 

“what do you like?” seulgi asked the dreaded question.

 

“i...i’m not sure.” joohyun said, frowning slightly as she looked down at the can of coke in her hands. “i don’t really have time…”

 

“that’s okay.” seulgi said gently. “life gets busy.”

 

joohyun just nodded, still feeling troubled by her lack of interests.

 

“but it’s good to have something you enjoy doing. just to unwind. even if it’s something small and simple like reading a book, if it can make you happy, then you should hold onto it no matter how busy life gets.”

 

what makes me happy? joohyun wondered.

 

“joohyun?” seulgi asked, noticing her quietness. “is everything okay?”

 

“yeah.” joohyun snapped out of her thoughts. “just trying to think of what i like doing in my spare time. not that i really have any.” she laughed emptily.

 

“you work a lot don’t you?”

 

“yeah.” she breathed out.

 

“make sure you still take care of your health. don’t overwork yourself, okay?” seulgi said.

 

joohyun nodded mutely, feeling a little embarrassed that the younger one was worrying about her when it should be the other way around.

 

they fell into silence but now it was more comfortable, less awkward.

 

“and if you want… you can always come here and maybe i can show you some…stuff.” seulgi fiddled with the pull tab on her can and she couldn’t look at joohyun, her words coming out shyer than usual. “find something you might like.” she said, sounding almost nervous.

 

joohyun smiled, nodding much to seulgi’s relief. “thank you, seulgi.” joohyun said, glancing at her with a bit of shyness but with all the gratitude in her eyes. “i’m happy we met.”

 

seulgi’s bright smile rivalled the moon shining in the sky. “i am too.”

 

~

 

joohyun had a hobby now. actually, she had multiple.

 

it always involved going to the rooftop and looking at the view and sometimes looking at other things, like seulgi.

 

ever since that night they talked on the rooftop, joohyun had been visiting seulgi’s space frequently. if she couldn’t sleep at night, she’d go up and listen to seulgi practice her songs on the guitar. she’d listen to seulgi’s warm voice and gentle strums until she felt calm enough to go back and sleep.

 

seulgi was always welcoming and more than happy to spend time with her, which joohyun was thankful for.

 

on other days, she’d go up just to talk to seulgi. they would talk about funny stories or incidents at their workplaces. like how a drunk man walked right into the revolving door at joohyun’s restaurant, or how some drunk man would dance in front of seulgi while she was busking and while it was distracting, it was kind of cute how much he enjoyed the music.

 

sometimes joohyun would draw with seulgi, and even when seulgi laughed and for her ‘abstract’ looking drawings, she didn’t mind one bit.

 

spending time with seulgi easily became her hobby and despite both of their busy and irregular schedules, they always found time. it was the most relaxing time of joohyun’s day; a time where she could forget about all her worries and burdens. even if she had been cut off by the judge after 30 seconds of speaking and had been feeling upset the entire day, all it took was one lame joke from seulgi and that same cute smile that made her eyes disappear for her to feel cheered up again.

 

despite the 3 year between them, joohyun felt like they really matched in the way they thought about things in life. joohyun couldn’t recall the last time she had met someone that she could talk so comfortably with and tell almost everything to.

 

they had only been friends for a few months, but it was like they had known each other for much longer. the coincidences that led up to them becoming friends almost felt too predetermined to be chance and joohyun sometimes wondered if destiny was real and brought seulgi into her life for a reason.

 

if destiny was real, then it did a really good job at giving her the sun in the form of a person just when it felt like her life was at its darkest moment.

 

~

 

“i’m really scared.”

 

seulgi looked at joohyun, concern crossing her expression at the sudden change in mood, not that she minded. she was always happy to listen to anything joohyun had to tell her.

 

“why?” she asked in a soft voice.

 

joohyun tilted her head back up to look at the half moon in the sky, letting out a long exhale and seulgi waited patiently.

 

“i don’t know if i can make it.” joohyun said, staring out into the distance. “i...don’t know if i have what it takes.”

 

there was a small pause as seulgi pondered about what to say.

 

“i don’t know how to face my parents if i don’t succeed.”

 

seulgi looked at joohyun, but she had her eyes closed and seulgi felt sad at the thought of how much burden joohyun was carrying and how many concerns she had.

 

“if you tried your best, i’m sure they will see that.” seulgi said.

 

joohyun opened her eyes, looking over at her and there was a small hint of sadness in her smile. “my parents aren’t like yours, seulgi.” she said, but there was no malice in her tone. her voice was calming and soft as it always was. “mine were never supportive of this career to begin with.”

 

seulgi nodded in understanding. “but you...you’re really good at it.” she said, wincing to herself because she knew it wasn’t the best thing to say. “i’m not just saying that to make you feel better, i really mean it. i think you’re talented and you’re also hard-working. you would be a really amazing news anchor. also, you’re really cool for going after your own dream.” seulgi added with a small blush. “i admire you a lot.”

 

joohyun looked at her and she smiled, a small laugh escaping her lips. “thanks, seulgi.”

 

“i don’t know much about the standards, but when you practice with me, i think you sound exactly like the anchors on tv.” seulgi said enthusiastically, making joohyun giggle.

 

“well, i think you sing better than most of the new idols these days.” joohyun said, eyes twinkling with amusement and seulgi just laughed.

 

“i’m serious. you’re really talented, seulgi.” joohyun said, sounding more assertive. “you’re talented in so many things, i wish i had even half of your talent.”

 

“you are talented too, joohyun.” seulgi quickly retorted. “really. and i admire your work ethic.”

 

“is that why you always come into the restaurant and stare at me?”

 

“i-” seulgi’s ears reddened and she looked away, flustered, as joohyun laughed. “the burgers are just good…” she muttered, still embarrassed because she thought she had been subtle.

 

“i mean, it’s only fair because i stare at you while you’re performing too.” joohyun said with a shrug.

 

seulgi smiled at the memories of joohyun always being part of the crowd when she was busking, and how she would always look back at joohyun while she sang.

 

“exactly.”

 

they made eye contact that lasted longer than usual before they both looked to the side, laughing awkwardly and scrambling for another topic to talk about.

 

with her heart beating loudly in her chest and her cheeks warm, the words were on the tip of joohyun’s tongue but she said nothing.

 

~

 

seulgi checked her phone again, frowning because it was already 10pm and joohyun was meant to be done with work at 9pm.

 

she sighed, glancing at the containers inside her bag that had the food she personally cooked. they were probably cold by now, but heating it up again wouldn’t be too difficult. she sat down next to joohyun’s front door, carefully placing the bag beside her.

 

the other day, they got into a playful argument about who was worse at cooking and joohyun wouldn’t believe seulgi when she said she had improved a lot since she was a teenager. seulgi boasted that she was good at making sujebi and kimchi stew, and that she would prove it to her someday.

 

she had to go to her friend - yoona’s house and borrow her kitchen to cook because her own place lacked most of the ingredients and kitchen utensils. she felt proud of the results, confident that it tasted good after yoona tried a bit and gave her approval. she even remembered to put pork into the kimchi stew for joohyun because that was what she liked.

 

she checked her phone again, wondering if joohyun had texted her to explain why she wasn’t home yet but the only message she had was from yoona.

 

does she like the food??

 

and when are you going to introduce me to this pretty girl you like so much?

 

seulgi’s cheeks heated up as she quickly typed back a message.

 

what are you saying? she’s just a good friend.

 

she shoved her phone back into her pocket, pressing the back of her hands to her cheeks to cool them down. she heard the old lift in the building groaning as it came alive, signalling that someone was coming up and she scrambled to her feet in excitement.

 

the doors opened slowly and joohyun walked out, gaze landing on seulgi standing next to her door.

 

“seulgi!” joohyun exclaimed, voice coming out much louder than usual and it was late so seulgi quickly hushed her, reminding her to keep it down. “i missed you.” joohyun said with a dopey smile on her face as she walked towards her with a slight sway to her steps and seulgi frowned, rushing forward to hold her arm before she could stumble and hurt herself.

 

“you had drinks?” seulgi asked, smelling the scent of alcohol on her.

 

joohyun giggled, nodding and seulgi sighed, helping her towards the door. “but i’m not drunk.” she said, looking at seulgi and seulgi nodded distractedly, taking joohyun’s bag from her arm.

 

“where are your keys?”

 

“in here.” joohyun stuck her hand inside the bag, rummaging around before pulling out the key attached to a purple keyring. seulgi took it from her and unlocked the door, pushing it open to let them shuffle inside. it was her second time being inside joohyun’s house; the first time being last week when it was too cold on the rooftop and they came down to drink hot cocoa and continue their conversation.

 

“why did you drink?” seulgi asked, setting her bag down on the side and helping joohyun take off her big coat. joohyun leaned down to take off her sneakers but seulgi saw her losing balance so she rushed back to her side, helping her take the shoes off instead. she placed them neatly on the shoe shelf while joohyun stumbled into her house to drop herself on the couch.

 

“why did you drink, joohyun?” seulgi asked again, heading for the kitchen to get water.

 

“because… i met someone.” joohyun mumbled, wincing at the light and covering her eyes with her arm.

 

seulgi tensed up, filling up the glass of water and she walked over slowly. “really?” she asked, handing the water to her and prompting her to drink. “who did you meet?” she asked, feeling her heart sinking with every second that passed.

 

joohyun shook her head, eyebrows furrowing and she didn’t look happy.

 

“what happened?” seulgi asked, taking the empty glass from her. “joohyun?” seulgi’s voice cracked as worry seeped into her because there were tears in joohyun’s eyes.

 

“seulgi.” joohyun muttered, suddenly pulling seulgi into a tight hug and seulgi’s breath caught in . this was the first time they had ever hugged. joohyun buried her face into seulgi’s shoulder and seulgi could hear small sniffles and felt the way her small form trembled.

 

“hey, it’s okay...i’m here. it’s okay.” she soothed, holding her carefully and patting her back.

 

“why are people so bad?” joohyun asked, still crying and seulgi’s heart pained to hear how hurt joohyun sounded. “why do they lie? why do they make me think i have a chance and then…” she broke off into more sobs and seulgi couldn’t do anything but hold her tighter.

 

“you don’t have to talk about it until you’re ready.” seulgi murmured. “you should just rest.” she knew joohyun had a long day of working nonstop while preparing for another job interview.

 

joohyun’s hand was clutching the side of seulgi’s jacket tightly as she held seulgi closer like she was scared of letting go of her. seulgi’s heart pounded in her chest at the feeling of joohyun’s breaths against her neck and she hoped joohyun was too tired to notice.

 

yoona’s words came back to mind as joohyun’s sobs were reduced to quiet and calm breaths and she fell asleep in seulgi’s embrace.

 

this pretty girl you like so much.

 

seulgi swallowed, carefully leaning back to glance at joohyun and make sure she was really asleep. she had always been aware of joohyun’s beauty but seeing her sleeping so peacefully with the rosy tint on her cheeks was a new level of breathtaking. seulgi looked away after a while, feeling a little guilty and creepy for staring.

 

after a while of weighing up what to do, she decided to lay joohyun on the couch and bring out her blanket to cover her up. the couch wasn’t very big but luckily, neither was joohyun, so she fit comfortably.

 

she put the containers of food inside the fridge, writing a note on some sticky notes that joohyun always had on her desk and stuck it somewhere joohyun would see the next morning.

 

it wasn’t exactly the night seulgi planned or imagined in her head, but that was okay. as long as she knew joohyun was safely at home at the end of the day, that was all that mattered.

 

~

 

the person joohyun had met that night was one of the executives working at a certain broadcasting station. he contacted joohyun after reading her application and joohyun, too excited at the prospect of a job opportunity, accepted his offer to go out for a meal.

 

as it turned out, he wasn’t actually interested in giving her a chance to work at the company and he only made that clear after he had pressured joohyun into drinking a few rounds. thankfully, joohyun managed to get herself out of that situation before it could escalate to anything.

 

although she reassured seulgi that nothing bad happened to her, it didn’t stop seulgi from feeling upset and joohyun had to reach across the table and stop the younger from stabbing her chopsticks into her rice repeatedly.

 

“i’m fine, really.” joohyun said.

 

“but how could he…” seulgi asked, frustrated. “that’s so low. and he’s an executive?” she frowned. “the world is so unfair.” she mumbled.

 

joohyun sighed melancholically, nodding in agreement. “hey, the food is really good.” she said, changing the topic and hoping to cheer seulgi up. “you’re a good cook.”

 

“t-thanks.” seulgi bit back a smile.

 

“you didn’t get help from anyone else, right?” joohyun playfully narrowed her eyes at her.

 

“no! i didn’t!” seulgi replied quickly. “yoona unnie only helped me stir the pot sometimes, but i swear, i did everything myself.” she said.

 

“yoona unnie?” joohyun caught on to that piece of information out of everything else.

 

seulgi nodded while happily eating, “she’s a close unnie. i’ve known her since i was 18.”

 

“right.” joohyun said. they ate the food seulgi had brought last night in silence, until joohyun spoke again after clearing nervously. “i didn’t say anything weird last night, right?”

 

“weird?” seulgi repeated.

 

joohyun swallowed, shaking her head to dismiss her own question. “never mind.” she said.

 

seulgi just nodded.

 

“but thank you for looking after me last night.” joohyun said.

 

“you’re welcome. that’s what friends are for, right?”

 

joohyun smiled and nodded, but the smile faded quickly as soon as seulgi looked away.

 

she wished they could be more than friends.

 

~

 

“hey.” joohyun called as she entered seulgi’s house - or room. it was a really small area, just big enough for her bed in the corner, a small wardrobe and a small desk on the other side. but seulgi had a knack for interior design because despite the small size of the room, it didn’t feel messy or suffocating at all.

 

“hi!” seulgi greeted happily, pulling her headphones down. she sat up on her bed with her notepad in hand and pencil in the other.

 

“what were you doing?” joohyun asked, putting down a bag of snacks she had bought from the convenience store beside the bed.

 

“working on something.” seulgi replied, waving the notepad with scribbles.

 

“a new song?” joohyun asked.

 

seulgi nodded enthusiastically, patting the bed in front of her and joohyun sat down. seulgi took off her headphones, passing them to joohyun who put them over her ears while looking at seulgi curiously. seulgi beamed at how cut