jelly

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now playing: jelly - red velvet - irene & seulgi 
"i laughed like i didn't know anything" 

 

“seulgi.”

 

“hm?”

 

irene craned her neck to look up at seulgi who was sitting comfortably on her couch despite irene leaning her weight fully against her. one arm was wrapped loosely around her and the other was holding her phone as she scrolled through whatever was on her screen.

 

“are you staying the night?” she asked, leaning further back to almost crush seulgi against the back of the couch but she didn’t seem to mind at all.

 

she just paused her scrolling, gaze flickering to the window to see how dark it was outside and she hummed in thought. “should i?” she asked. irene gazed at her while she was staring into space to consider her options, and she was reminded of how pretty seulgi’s side profile was.

 

“up to you.” irene said as she looked away, diverting her attention back to the television that was quietly playing an episode of the currently airing drama. neither of them were properly watching it anyway, it was there to fill in the silence while they did their own thing on their phones.

 

seulgi groaned a little when she thought of something. “wendy is probably going to be practicing for her club’s performance.”

 

“the one that she’s lead vocal for?”

 

“yeah.” seulgi furrowed her brows at the thought of how she could barely sleep the last time her housemate stayed up practicing all night in their room. “i guess i’ll have to take refuge here.”

 

“hey, don’t make it sound like a forced option.” irene jabbed her stomach with her elbow, making seulgi yelp in exaggerated pain. she laughed, tossing her phone aside on the couch to wrap both arms around irene, hugging her closer to her chest and preventing her from making any more violent actions.

 

“fine. i’ll stay because i want to spend more time with my lovely best friend. is that better?” seulgi asked with a laugh.

 

irene rolled her eyes, a teasing smile on her face that seulgi couldn’t see. “what if she doesn’t want to spend more time with you?”

 

seulgi gasped quietly, “that’s impossible.” she said after a moment.

 

“hm…”

 

“hey!” seulgi frowned and attacked her sides, instantly making irene scream and jolt in her spot.

 

“stop!” she laughed loudly, struggling against her. “seulgi!”

 

“take it back then.” seulgi said, laughing as irene thrashed in her arms but stubbornly refused to take back her words, just wanting to more.

 

their laughing was cut short when irene’s phone started ringing on the opposite end of the couch and seulgi stopped tickling her, both of them going quiet as irene reached for her phone.

 

irene answered the call, settling against the armrest of the couch on the other end from where seulgi sat.

 

“hi bogum!”

 

seulgi looked away from her and stared at the tv instead. she retrieved her phone, busying herself with opening random apps that had nothing interesting to entertain her.

 

“hmm… yeah.” irene played with the ends of her hair absentmindedly as she talked on the phone. “tomorrow night? yeah i think i’m free.”

 

seulgi glanced at irene, seeing the smile on her face and she turned away quickly before irene caught her looking.

 

“yeah, that sounds fine.” irene’s gaze lingered on seulgi before she looked back ahead of her. “yeah, see you tomorrow then. bye~”

 

seulgi had found a video to watch on her phone, and she watched it quietly, curled up at the end of the couch.

 

“seulgi, i’m cold.” irene said in a whine.

 

“get a blanket.” seulgi replied without taking her eyes off her phone screen.

 

irene pouted but seulgi wasn’t looking at her to notice. normally seulgi would open her arms and offer to cuddle her when she said she was cold, but seulgi was being strangely reserved right now.

 

irene refused to back down and she shuffled over to seulgi’s side, wedging herself under seulgi’s arm that was holding the phone up and making herself comfortable, curled up against seulgi and her large sweater.

 

seulgi didn’t say anything, but she also didn’t hug her closer like she normally would.

 

“are you okay?”

 

“yeah, why wouldn’t i be?” seulgi replied monotonously.

 

irene didn’t say anything for a while. “what are you doing tomorrow?”

 

seulgi shrugged, “just study, probably.”

 

“what about at night?”

 

she felt seulgi stiffen a little. “nothing. stay home and sleep early.”

 

“okay.” irene said. “i wanted to go somewhere with you but bogum just called and-”

 

“yeah i know.” seulgi quipped. “i overheard a bit.” she clarified in a softer tone.

 

“oh.” irene nodded.

 

“a date?” seulgi joked.

 

“not a date.” irene replied quickly.

 

seulgi shrugged again.

 

irene looked at her while she was absorbed in her phone and not paying any attention to her, which she didn’t like. she reached down, lifting the hem of seulgi’s oversized sweater and wriggled her way inside.

 

“i-irene!” seulgi yelped at the sudden feeling of having someone stealing her shirt while she was still wearing it. irene wriggled her way through until her head was out of the collar, face dangerously close to seulgi’s flushed cheeks and their bodies pressed tightly together since the sweater wasn’t actually that big.

 

“hi.” irene grinned lopsidedly, looking proud of herself and satisfied at the warmth and attention she was now receiving, even if it was in the form of a look of disbelief.

 

seulgi huffed. “my sweater is going to get stretched like this.” she said, turning her face to the side so they weren’t staring straight at each other.

 

“then it’ll fit both of us easily.” irene said happily, making seulgi look back at her incredulously. but she couldn't contain the small smile spreading across her face.

 

“you’re really something.” she said, giving in to her as she always did and irene laughed, hands tugging seulgi closer and she buried her face in seulgi’s neck, soft laughter and purposeful brushes of her lips tickling her skin.

 

“you’re so warm.” irene commented, sinking further into her embrace with a sigh. “and you’re the best hugger.”

 

“have you hugged a lot of people like this?” seulgi raised an eyebrow.

 

“no,” she giggled. “but i just know you’re the best.”

 

seulgi thought about her words for a while and she smiled. “thanks.”

 

that night they laid in irene’s bed together with seulgi holding her from behind to keep her warm and irene’s body slotted against hers so that there was no gap at all.

 

irene could tell when seulgi was asleep; she was more than used to hearing seulgi’s soft and steady breaths beside her at night. seulgi’s hand was still draped across her waist, the hem of her shirt hitched up from earlier when seulgi absentmindedly traced shapes and words on her skin before she fell asleep.

 

she could feel the warm breaths against the nape of her neck and she already missed the feeling of seulgi’s light kisses on the back of her neck.

 

now that she wasn’t distracted by the innocent touches, kisses, and seulgi’s voice, she could properly think about earlier. why was seulgi suddenly so cold to her? why did she act so differently to her usual self?

 

irene twisted her body around carefully so that she wouldn’t wake seulgi (she was a deep sleeper anyway) and she peered at her, the faint moonlight streaming past the curtain allowing her to see the defined features on seulgi’s face. she let herself admire every detail on seulgi’s face, something she always did while she was asleep, and her gaze lingered on the monolids she liked so much and the mole above her eye and the one below that looked more like a smudge. she always about that one by saying she would wipe it off for her, to which seulgi would just roll her eyes.

 

the thought of their banter made irene smile and she thought about all the happy memories they shared over the years. they met in their first year in college and naturally grew close because of how compatible they were. they were basically inseparable and everyone knew they were best friends. irene didn’t know when or how, but that line between best friends and something more had become blurred for them.

 

she had always been an affectionate and touchy person, something seulgi wasn’t, but she quickly grew comfortable with irene’s physical affection and even started reciprocating; which was something she never did with anyone else. holding hands, hugging, and cuddling were all common gestures for them, but even when they pushed the boundaries a little and started leaving soft kisses on each other’s neck, shoulders, or arms, neither of them spoke up about it.

 

she was pretty sure normal best friends didn’t do this much with each other, but she was also pretty sure the casual flirting between them was meaningless banter too. they both knew they were just extremely close best friends and maybe something more, but what that ‘something more’ was, no one knew.

 

it had crossed her mind to ask about it or to bring it up. but then she thought, why change anything when everything was fine the way it was? why should she risk ruining what they had between them for the sake of clarifying a label or status?

 

since they were comfortable with their current dynamic, she didn’t want to change it by bringing up the awkward conversation.

 

irene traced her fingertips lightly across seulgi’s eyebrows and smiled when seulgi’s brows twitched slightly in her sleep.

 

yeah, we’re fine like this.

 

~

 

irene frowned for the nth time at her phone, seeing the lack of messages from seulgi.

 

“is something wrong?” bogum asked.

 

“no, not really.” irene could see that seulgi was online 3 minutes ago, but still didn’t reply to her message that she sent 10 minutes ago. “seulgi’s just not replying to me.”

 

“oh.” he said. “is everything alright between you two?”

 

“yes, she was fine last night.” irene said, shrugging as she pocketed her phone. briefly, the memory of seulgi being strangely cold to her last night crossed her mind.

 

“i guess just talk to her, in case there’s something you don’t know. communication is key for relationships.” bogum said, steering the car into the street to irene’s apartment.

 

“yeah...wait, what?” irene looked at him.

 

“what?”

 

“you think i’m dating seulgi?” irene asked with widened eyes.

 

“are you not?” bogum raised his eyebrows in surprise. “sorry, i just thought- sorry, my mistake.” he apologised and irene shook her head, laughing it off.

 

“it’s fine. it’s...we’re just close friends.” she said, biting her lip.

 

“fair enough.” bogum said, parking the car outside her apartment. “communication is important in friendships too.” he said with a kind smile.

 

“definitely.” irene unbuckled her seatbelt. “which is why i’m glad you called me to talk. i hope you feel better.” she said.

 

“i’ll be fine. thank you for listening to me and for your good advice as always.” he smiled gratefully. “and i hope seulgi is fine.”

 

“i’m sure she is.” irene replied, although seulgi’s atypical behaviour made her feel a little uneasy. “thanks for driving me home.” she said, getting out of the car and waving to him as he drove off.

 

she sighed as she stood outside her building, thinking about what to do next. she checked her phone once more, sighing when there was still no reply. it was weird; seulgi would never not reply to her.

 

she checked the previous messages and was filled with nervousness when she realised how unenthusiastic seulgi’s messages sounded. she didn’t realise it earlier because she was busy talking to bogum, but now she realised how dry seulgi sounded in their conversation.

 

“why is she upset?” irene muttered to herself.

 

~

 

irene could hear wendy before she even saw her, the singing from inside in the house only stopping when she knocked on the door.

 

“oh, hey irene!” wendy greeted cheerfully, pulling her earphone out of her ear.

 

“hi wendy. is seulgi home?”

 

“yes, she is.” wendy gave her a puzzled look. “as if you wouldn’t know though.” she commented.

 

irene awkwardly laughed, “um...i didn’t ask.” she said with a shrug, walking into the cosy apartment that seulgi and wendy shared.

 

“seul! irene is here!” wendy hollered while walking back to her room, pushing her earphones back into her ears.

 

irene knew seulgi wouldn’t come out of her room so she walked over, bravely knocking on seulgi’s door. she heard soft music from inside the room and she opened the door carefully, peering in to make sure seulgi wasn’t asleep.

 

“hi.” seulgi said, noticing her and irene smiled awkwardly.

 

“hey.” she didn’t know why she felt so scared or nervous. she never used to act like this with seulgi.

“why are you here? it’s kind of late.” seulgi said, turning back to continue her drawing on her sketchbook. irene noticed the many scrunched up pieces of paper littered around seulgi’s desk, which made her raise an eyebrow. seulgi only ever did that if she was frustrated or unhappy.

 

“just wanted to check on you.” irene said. “i brought your favourite snacks.” she added quickly before seulgi could say anything else.

 

“oh.” seulgi said. “thanks.”

 

“how was studying?” irene let herself into the room, ignoring the weirdly tense atmosphere between them. “were you productive?”

 

“kind of.” seulgi mumbled, scratching her neck. “how was...your dinner?” she asked hesitantly.

 

irene took out the pack of seulgi’s favourite grape jelly, opening it and put one in . “it was fine.” she said, holding the packet out to her.

 

“that’s good.” seulgi said, taking the packet and eating one of the jellies.

 

“why didn’t you reply to my messages?”

 

“i did.”

 

“not the recent one.”

 

“must’ve missed it.” seulgi said passively, chewing on another jelly. “you were the one too busy to reply quickly anyway.” she added in a mumble.

 

“what?” irene looked at her and could see the small frown etched on her face.

 

“nothing.” seulgi said quickly. “it’s fine. i understand that you were busy...with him.” she said.

 

it must’ve been the bitter tone in her voice when mentioning bogum that it finally hit irene and she felt so stupid for not realising it earlier. it was so obvious, how did she miss it?

 

maybe it was because seulgi had never shown this side of her before. irene didn’t even consider it as a possibility because it had never been something that existed between them.

 

seulgi had never shown an attitude or any signs of being unhappy just because irene was spending time with someone else. she was never someone who expected irene to only spend time with her and never demanded all of her attention or time.

 

she didn’t know the 7 letter word existed in seulgi’s emotions.

 

but rather than confront the issue, irene chose to laugh it off and pretend she didn’t know anything.

 

“i’m going to get changed.” she announced.

 

“what?” seulgi sat up straighter in her seat. “you’re sleeping over?” she asked.

 

“yes.” irene was already on her way to seulgi’s wardrobe, picking out a sweater. she turned around to look at seulgi, flashing her biggest smile at her. “i missed spending time with my best friend.”

 

seulgi blinked, cheeks tinted with pink and she averted her gaze. “f-fine. you can stay.” she said, and it was like her previous tough facade crumbled to pieces immediately.

 

“i didn’t ask for permission.” irene jested, making seulgi roll her eyes but she laughed and turned away to give her some privacy while she changed out of her clothes. “let’s watch a movie.” irene said, jumping onto seulgi’s bed.

 

seulgi perked up at the sound of that. “let’s watch gonjiam, i’ve been wanting to watch it for a long time.” seulgi said.

 

“isn’t that the scary one?” irene eyed her suspiciously as she walked over to the bed with her laptop.

 

“it’s not scary, it’s fun.” seulgi said, settling on the bed.

 

“i’m pretty sure it’s the scary one.” irene said.

 

“no, it’ll be fun.” seulgi convinced, putting the laptop near the end of the bed as she searched for the movie.

 

“seulgi! it looks scary.” irene yelped when she saw the thumbnail of the movie and she turned to curl up closer to seulgi, hands into her shirt as she pulled her close. “i don’t want to watch it.” she mumbled, burying her face against seulgi’s shirt and peeking at the screen once in a while only to quickly look away despite it still being the opening credit scenes.

 

seulgi was laughing the whole time at how scared irene was, clinging tightly onto her. “it’s okay, i’m here.”

 

“it’s still scary!” irene complained.

 

seulgi wrapped her arms around her so that they were comfortably holding onto each other and she smoothed her hand along irene’s back. “don’t be scared.”

 

“that’s so helpful.” irene glared up at her, making seulgi grin and her eyes disappeared when she smiled like that. irene caught herself staring for longer than necessary, as if suddenly realising how nice it was just to see her smile so genuinely.

 

seulgi’s smile faded quickly when irene stared at her for longer and she turned her head back to look at the laptop. although the room was dark, irene could see the blush on her cheeks and she was pretty sure it wasn’t because of the movie.

 

irene jolted when she heard a loud scream from the movie and felt seulgi jump a little as well. irene buried her face into seulgi’s neck, tightening her hold around the taller girl.

 

“can we stop watching this?” irene mumbled, lips pressing against the soft skin on seulgi’s neck. she heard and felt seulgi take a shaky breath before she nodded.

 

“yeah. probably should stop.” she agreed, but irene was still clinging tightly onto her so she reached out with her foot to close the laptop, effectively cutting the sounds of screams from the movie. she felt irene relax, sighing in relief.

 

they stayed in silence for a while until irene spoke up.

 

“bogum was having problems with his family.” she said.

 

seulgi shifted slightly, “yeah?” she muttered, sounding disinterested.

 

“i’ve known him since we were children.”

 

“how nice.”

 

irene looked at seulgi who cleared and looked away as if ashamed of her overly sarcastic tone.

 

“i-i mean that’s good. he’s nice.” she quickly clarified.

 

irene stifled a laugh. now that she knew, everything was so obvious. seulgi was so transparent and she could see right through her.

 

“so he always talks to me about his concerns.” irene continued anyway, ignoring the way seulgi was looking elsewhere. “he sees me as a friend he can confide in, nothing more.”

 

“right.” seulgi nodded, not convinced. “you never know though. maybe it’s an excuse…”

 

irene rolled her eyes slightly, bogum literally thought we were dating. “i know he’s not interested.” she just said because she didn’t want to bring up the d-word.

 

“okay.” seulgi said simply.

 

irene smiled, equally amused and surprised to see seulgi like this. she kind of liked it; seeing seulgi acting childish like this because of her.

 

“but if he was…” she started, hiding her smile. “what do you think?”

 

“what do i think? nothing. i don’t have any thoughts.” seulgi replied, clearly lying, and irene smirked at how she really couldn’t hide her feelings. she was so unnaturally moody but her sensitive reactions made it fun to .

 

“you said he’s nice.” irene continued.

 

“he’s not that nice.” seulgi countered and irene laughed.

 

“what is so funny?” seulgi muttered, face heating up.

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angrywater
posting first chapter tonight :)

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its_aaarrriii
0 points #1
Chapter 12: Thank god I didnt cry because it's 5:15am. Goodnight ijbol
its_aaarrriii
#2
Chapter 11: 3:43am done reading this chapter:)
its_aaarrriii
#3
Chapter 10: 💗💛👉👈
252613 #4
Chapter 15: im back here to re-read chapter 15 after watching eternal sunshine and listening to we can't be friends (wait for your love) for countless times haha i can feel much more emotion
its_aaarrriii
#5
Chapter 9: Time check 4:37am thank god i didnt cry this time hahahaha
its_aaarrriii
#6
Chapter 8: I STAYED UP UNTIL 5:31AM AND COUNTING TO FINISH THIS!!! love it so much
its_aaarrriii
#7
Chapter 8: I FRKN CRIED
its_aaarrriii
#8
Chapter 6: this is so awesome! wow idk how to explain it! im not good with words. ITS SO COOL! damn this is one of my faves now
its_aaarrriii
#9
Chapter 4: phew ....
dancingseulo
#10
Chapter 15: Chapter 15: I wonder what their families and close friends’ reactions were when they got together “again”. Nobody raises any question to them? 🧐 Choosing to not know their past history is a smart move for them because they will have to go through the pain of breaking up and the hurtful words said to each other if they choose to relive the past.