It felt like yesterday when she was just struggling to say the lines without cringing. To read the phrases without her smile looking seemingly awkward and unnatural on her face. To hear her voice and think she either sounds too giddy or that it was too forced.

But Joohyun sat through it all.

Watched as Seungwan cringed after saying her intro, laughing at her reddening face before helping her out by giving her feedback. Helped her loosen up when she's starting to imagine how awkward and unnatural she looked as she read her lines. Be her first viewer/listener as she listens to her say her lines and guide her whenever she stumbles through phrases and bouts of insecurity.

She was there. Always beside Seungwan.

From the first time she received her script till the most recent episodes and multiple articles about her recent styling and how she radiates sunshine as soon as she gets out of the car, making her way to her line of fansites and reporters fishing for photos and answers.

She was always there, a constant entity in her phone in the middle of ads and breaks.

It upsets her to see her ignoring her phone during those breaks, talking to her guests instead of replying to her texts.

She's trying not to be clingy but Joohyun just wanna keep seeing how she'd try to hide a smile after reading her texts, trying to act busy arranging her notes while waiting for her reply. Ever since Seungwan started this DJ gig at Youngstreet, it became her habit to tune in and watch her through the tiny screen of her Iphone 11 Pro.

She can't ignore how Seungwan just clicked with most of her guests, how she easily breaks the ice, reducing small talk in place of in-depth discussions well transitioned as prepared by the writers. Seungwan is good like that. 

She gets the assignment all the time.

And it makes Joohyun proud.

Sure, it did.

But female guests after female guests come and go and somehow, watching those has left a dent on her phone. Just finger marks dented at the back of her phone. 

She watched as those female guests cannot hide how enamored and endeared they are of Seungwan. 

Gritted her teeth as she listened to Sua call her girlfriend 'baby'. Got called out by Yeri when their youngest member noticed how flared her nose has become and that she can imagine smoke coming out of it. How transparent she has become when Joy remarked "Ah, she has a female guest again today huh?" and a comforting pat in the back when Seulgi walked in on her seemingly unmoved body on the couch.

She heaved a frustrated sigh when Eunbi so casually dropped that she wanted to have a baking date with Seungwan and her girlfriend - her girlfriend had the nerve to be embarrassed and flirt back.

She has never even had a baking date with Seungwan, for Pete's sake!

My gosh, she didn't go to the hair clinic every other week just to ruin her healthy hair again by constantly pulling on it because of jealousy.

Her constant mantra that 'It's just work … Seungwan is just being a gracious host' doesn't work anymore.

Maybe she needs a new mantra or a new hair clinic that could glue back the hairs she pulled from her own head. But ... there's no denying the heavy feeling in her chest.

---

It was a good Saturday morning. The sky is already bright with the 10am sun lighting up the sky. The mood was lazy as they snuggled together on the couch, blankets draped messily over their tangled legs. Breakfast was long over and Seungwan was on her phone trying to decide between ordering food online or just cooking something.

She knows Joohyun prefers home cooked meals.

"Unnie," she called the older girl, poking her puffed up cheeks not noticing the perfectly furrowed eyebrows.

"Unnie," she called again and got an annoyed swat of her hand as the only reply.

"I need your attention. What are you so busy about, anyway?" Seungwan straightened up from her half-laid position, making Joohyun slide down to her stomach and took a peek at her girlfriend's phone.

Joohyun rarely ever opens her Instagram account. In fact, the number of times she used that app this year can be counted in one hand. So, what is her girlfriend doing scrolling through it with a very displeased look on her face?

Seungwan was so oblivious sometimes of her actions that she failed to notice the pout on her girlfriend's face and her own voice laughing through the tiny speaker of the phone, much too giddy and too enthusiastic in her answer.

"Ah, yeah! Let's do that! My parents are watching right now, we can definitely bake together there!"

She felt a chill run down her spine. Seungwan slowly met her girlfriend's eyes, sharpened by a glare with lips pursed.

On other days, she'd smile down at those gaze and wipe it away with a kiss.

But it definitely won't work today.

"Baby, it's just work. You know how it goes."

"Sure. But if I was in your position, you wouldn't catch me saying that 'hey let's go to my paren