Joohyun watched her laugh her usual laugh, except it wasn’t. Her laugh didn’t reach her eyes; not enough for her eyes to disappear into small moon crescents. She knew her friends beside her: Sooyoung and Seungwan was aware of it, and perhaps were trying hard to make her laugh, and obviously failing. Typical, it was usually Seulgi who makes them laugh to the point of crying, also laugh-crying herself. This wasn’t the case this time though, and she wonders.

“Unnie,” Yeri spoke from behind her. “What are you looking at?”

Joohyun shrugged nonchalantly, stopped filling her tumbler of warm water, then proceeded walking the hallway of the canteen, back towards their respective team’s cubicle. 

“Did Seulgi-sunbaenim rolled her eyes again at you?” Yeri asked after matching her pace with her.

Joohyun stopped and laughed, placing a hand on Yeri’s shoulder. “No, she did not.” Still laughing as she went back to her seat, Yeri followed. She remembered how irritated Yeri was, when she caught Seulgi look away from her stares, that it looked like she just rolled her eyes at her. Except, Seulgi didn’t. And Joohyun knows. Unlike now, she doesn’t. But she knows it won’t be long until she finds it out.

“I swear Unnie,” Yeri continued, a slight irritation in her voice as she leaned on Joohyun’s office table, arms crossed and looking so crossed. “Seulgi-sunbaenim has some bad blood on you. You sure you didn’t steal her boyfriend or crush or something?”

Joohyun laughed again at the ridiculous assumption. “Boyfriend?” She laughed again.

Yeri eyed her. “What? You think Seulgi-sunbaenim is one of us?”

Joohyun just shrugged innocently, smirking at the same time as she punched the password of her computer. Yes, she wanted to answer. But that’s not her story to tell. She has seen Seulgi a lot of times with her...girlfriend? She should be though, right? She should be Seulgi’s girlfriend, right? Unless Seulgi got herself in some sort of poor situation like Yeri had been into. She looked up at Yeri upon remembering, her questioning eyes still directed at her. “You sure you didn’t check up on Saeron’s social medias again, huh?”

Yeri was taken aback at the sudden accusations. “What? No! Why would I? I’ve already moved on and am checking out a lot of chicks on dating sites you know! She does not deserve me, as you said so why bother myself with her? DUH!” 

Joohyun watched Yeri ramble like a rapper, a smug smile on her face that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Same as Seulgi’s. A bulb lightened on her head. She took a deep sigh. “It’d take time, but make sure you don’t anymore so the process could hasten.” She said with a scolding mother’s tone.

“Yes, yes, Unnie.” Yeri said in defeat then went back to her seat just behind her.

Joohyun sighed again as she turned back to her computer, glancing a bit up when she saw Seulgi walked past in front of her, quietly, like a ghost, her head looking down, then proceeded to go to the corner cubicle where she was stationed in. Like that, she’d disappear again in her own world, without anyone knowing what’s going on inside. But not Joohyun. She likes to pry. Not just to anyone of course. It just suddenly became a habit a year ago. And she hasn’t let go of that curiosity.

“My name’s Bae Joohyun.” She remembered awed faces, like they’ve just seen an angel flew down into earth and bestow them of such grace. She was so used to it. She knew her effect on people. Heck, even Seulgi had that amazed red flushed expression on her face that was a bit poking out of her corner cubicle. But unlike the others, hers disappeared into a frown as soon as it appeared. That’s when she first wondered, why?

Colleagues flocked unto her like bees on honey. Males, mostly. Like they’re starved hyenas that saw meat for the first time. It was disgusting. Almost everyone wanted to know her, befriend her at least and become her lover at max. She knew how they wanted her skin, her beauty, to display as an ego trophy or something. It was both a gift and a curse, her beauty. But mostly a curse. And when she said almost, it was because one person didn’t pay her any mind, not after that first meeting when she was introduced as a newcomer of the team, avoided her like a plague, like she’s a carrier of a deadly virus—Kang Seulgi. 

Joohyun’s ultra-sensitive. Yeri had said that maybe she’s not one of them, not human. Sometimes she’ll feel vibrations and will know something is wrong. Like when she felt something happening from behind her before it even happens and saw the frame fall and catch it mid-air. As a roommate, Yeri hates it, because she can’t even groan in her sleep because Joohyun will immediately wake up, even with just a small shuffle of sheets. That’s how sensitive and all-knowing she is that she knows immediately that Seulgi swings for someone like her. But the all-knowing turns into an almost-knowing whenever she tries to initiate an interaction with her. It was always a one-way conversation, with her saying greetings and Seulgi with her nods and awkward smiles. She asks with hows, whys, when, what, who but always ends up being answered with a yes or no question. It was always like that with Seulgi. It was frustrating for her to not have someone pining on her especially when she has generously initiated, because it was how things always had been, even without her initiation. But she’s always been optimistic, so she took it as a challenge.

Kang Seulgi. two years her senior, but not in age. Joohyun was 3 years older than her. Initially their company’s system developer but she practically does everything in their department, and is good at it. Joohyun is in the department’s sales team while Seulgi is in the technical team. In an I.T. department like theirs, it is important that the sales team have a basic grasp on what they’re selling so it was up to the technical people to train them. Up to Seulgi to be exact. After one week of introduction to company policies, job descriptions and people who drooled at her, it was time to have her two-days training with Seulgi as her trainer. To both her disappointment and amusement, she was nothing but professional. Even with her hazy inviting eyes on her, with her wetting her lips, or lip-biting, some winks here and there, her teasing grins, fixing her hair back on her ear, she tried ponytail and with her hair down, with tight white slacks and tight short apple-cut skirt, with two buttons of her polo ed showing a hint of her cleavage, all futile. All. She started to think that there’s something wrong with her, that maybe she’s not alluring enough, but seeing how some male predators were watching outside the window, that Seulgi gentlewomanly closed the blinds for saying it’s distracting, she thought that maybe Seulgi was straight after all, going against her guts that were 100% right all the time, now reduced into a sad odd 99%.

Not agreeing with her conclusion after that training, she decided to observe. Seulgi was always together with her two other friends: Sooyoung and Seungwan, from marketing and accounting department respectively. Most from the company would think it was a normal three-girls friendship like in the movies, to some people it’s definitely a love triangle, and by some it means Yeri. But to her, it was a different story of threes. It’s a third wheel story where Seulgi is exactly that. She’d conclude that due to the nature of Seulgi’s and Seungwan’s work that always requires overtime, they’ve somehow crossed paths and instantly became friends, adding their same birth year on the chemistry as well. Insert Sooyoung to the story who’s obviously very whipped for Seungwan so she befriended the easiest shortcut to her heart—her bestfriend. It was all so easy to figure out. But all that figuring out didn’t answer her question of, is Seulgi straight? 

Closure, yes, closure. She just wants closure that’s why she wants to know. She just wants answers. If Seulgi is straight, which is ultimately a waste because she is honestly a snack herself, then she’d be able to live in peace that her pheromones still works at anyone—she’s just barking at the wrong tree. Though, it’s not like she’s barking or anything, she just wants confirmation or reassurance to herself. And maybe she can bend that straightness, because Gods she can and she already had before, unintentionally though. She keeps on arguing these as she follows Seulgi in front of her with some cautious distance. She didn’t stalk her, no. She just accidentally saw her one evening when she was strolling in a mall near their office after some client meeting that held her later than she usually does. Seeing her not with her usual companies, she got curious. Yes, always Joohyun and her curiosity. And she was thankful for that because it led her to the answers she was seeking for.

Good news. Bad news. Good news: Seulgi isn’t straight and her hunch went back to a hundred percent again. Bad news: she has a girlfriend. She watched her usual laugh with her office friends doubled, if that was even possible. Smile from ear to ear, eyes curling into beautiful crescents, cheek puffing in red tint as she waved happily to that woman approaching her. Those expressions she never ever gave her once. Good news: she knows why Seulgi acts that way with her. Bad news: cause she has a girlfriend.

It didn’t stop the curiosity unsurprisingly. In fact it gave birth to more questions. Infidelity is something worthy when it comes to her. Loyalty crumbles on her feet. Men would pay just to have a one night stand with her. She was offered that a lot. Men. Women. She was Aphrodite and she knows it. Yeri would argue it’s Narcissus though but she’d ignore her most of the times. They will bend to her will for just a wink from her. That’s how powerful she is. But Seulgi seems to have that immunity from her prowess. Or was she just too oblivious? Too oblivious that she doesn’t see how shallow her girlfriend looks at her in contrast to her deeply-amoured gazes. Maybe her girlfriend’s dense too, you know, birds of the same feather flocks together? Her girlfriend doesn’t seem to notice how Seulgi wants to reach out and hold her hand during their mall dates, or is it that she never gives her a chance to? Dense to that invisible wall placed in between them when they walked side by side. She sips her hot tea from a cup one evening, with her legs crossed, thinking as she watched them walk by in front of her, “If I were you, I’d be all over her.” Shame, really. 

Just like how she thought of Saeron, Yeri’s ex…bestfriend? It wasn’t even a proper relationship for God’s sake. They were bestfriend, more than that, at least based on how Yeri was led on. Sweet misleading actions. False hopes. Wrong seeds planted. All of those were enough to have her daughter woman-up to confess only to be rejected in the most humiliating way. She tried to warn her but it is hard to see when you’re wearing love as your sunglasses. Wall of truth will come slamming hard on your face before you even know it. Damaging you, crippling you out of your self-esteem, making you wear that fake slob of smug and lies that you’re okay but you’re not. Nursing Yeri back to a normal-functioning person was a second nature to her, she had practically raised her since she was a kid. But the disgust on those kinds of people remained. Shame, really. 

So she had that instinct. Seulgi is in some ty relationship. It’ll end soon enough. 

They said be careful what you wish for. It’s not like she wished for it though. She just kind of predicted it. But when she noticed the frequent overtimes, even when Seungwan’s overtime were over and had already gone home, and the smiles that didn’t quite reach her eyes she had previously noticed, or how Seungwan and Sooyoung looks at her with pity and worry, she was guilty as that what she thought sounded like a wish and whoever heard it from inside her head granted it for her.

It was one of those government biddings that made her stay up late in the office. Thick files of documents piled up around her on due tomorrow, so she had to be ready. It was her first partake onto the government avenues so she had to double-check everything, there’s no room for mistakes. That’s when she saw Sooyoung stand up from the bench of their lobby, putting her phone back into her pocket after fiddling at it for about an hour as Seungwan approach her. She was probably waiting for Seungwan’s overtime to end, which she thought was really sweet. She watched them go inside their area, nodded a greeting at her when they saw her then went directly to the corner cubicle where Seulgi was.

“Seulgi-yah, come on.” Seungwan’s pleading voice.

“I told you I need to finish this.” Seulgi’s tired but apologetic voice.

“Oh come on Seulgi, I’m sure that can wait. Let’s just grab something to eat and maybe loiter around the mall. Arcade? Sounds good?” Sooyoung suggested.

A sheepish laugh from Seulgi. “I really can’t, I’m sorry.”

“Seulgi.” A cold tone from Seungwan that seems to say I won’t accept any excuses.

“Seungwan-ah… I can’t….”

“Seulgi.” Seungwan’s final decision.

“Seungwan—” A crack in Seulgi’s voice.

“Uhm.” Joohyun stood up finally. “Seulgi-sunbaenim really can’t, I mean… she’s helping me with these bid docs.” She said with an apologetic smile to convince them that she’s really sorry to ruin their girl’s night out. Except that she isn’t. They should really give the girl some timeout. 

Seungwan paused. Then sighed. “Fine. Let’s go Sooyoungie.” She walked ahead of Sooyoung then stopped, turned back to Seulgi and said, “Stop with all these Sunmi s Seulgi, please. She doesn’t deserve you, okay?” Another sigh then they continued walking.

She watched them as they walked the hallway out of their area, bowing slightly to them with a little smile of hidden agreement to Seungwan’s words. that Sunmi, really. She turned to Seulgi and their eyes met. Hers were already glistening with threat of tears falling. 

“Thanks.” Seulgi mouthed.

“Thought you needed help.” She replied. Seulgi just laughed weakly and nodded in agreement before slumping back on her seat inside her cubicle.

She sighed silently and sat back on her table as well. She continued sorting out documents, but her mind was really elsewhere. Not too far away though, just beside the cubicle of hers. She wonders if she is crying. She can’t hear anything but the static of the air conditioner running inside the room. No muffled cries. Unlike Yeri who, as much as she can’t stop from blabbering, also can’t stop her emotions from overflowing. Being her roommate and mother-in-proxy and the fact that she’s all-knowing makes it easy for her to know when she cries. But as all-knowingly typical as she was, this was typical of Seulgi’s immunity too. For her to not have any idea if she is crying right now or not. As much as she wanted to, since it’s genetically wired for her to pry on someone’s she’s interested to, namely Seulgi, she did not. She gave her her much needed time alone.

Those nights continued on. With Seulgi doing overtime more than necessary. Seungwan and Sooyoung routinely invites her out to do something fun. Sometimes she agrees to, most of the times she doesn’t. And all of those most-of-the-times were masked as an assistance to the long-over ‘bidding’ of hers. Yeri has mentioned that her tax returns would already negate for how many times she has done overtime over some ghost biddings, only Joohyun knows those were ghosts though, and if salespeople were even allowed to do overtime in the first place. She answered of course yes, for legit biddings that is. But that bidding was long over and she didn’t even win over 10% price difference versus the competitor. If beauty was only the standard of that bidding, she would’ve won that easy, but hey, no hard feelings as that bidding excused herself to spend some time with Seulgi, if spending some time even counts with exchange of nods and flat smiles and occasional ‘Hi’ and ‘Hello’.

It was one of those fake bidding nights for Joohyun. Almost three months had passed since she reasoned that bidding help just to save Seulgi off the edge of her persistent friends. Almost three months and she hasn’t even had a proper conversation with the girl. She was even getting good at preparing bidding documents as she has nothing else to do but to actually study them anyway. It’s not like Seulgi would ever strike a conversation with her. She has long stopped her hope for that. It’s not like she would too. It’s not like she can’