Am I just being fooled?

"Yugyeom?"

Should I never have accepted him at all?

"Kim Yugyeom!"

Am I just overthinking?

"Yah, Kim Yugyeom!"

"Huh?! What?"

The maknae snaps out of his thoughts the moment he felt someone aggressively  nudging him. Shifting his head on his side, his best friend, Bambam was looking at him with a mix of confusion and worry all over his face.

"What's up with you? I've been talking nonstop here and you're not even listening, you've been spacing out a lot since you came back from the kitchen, what're you thinking?"

His best friend complained, a little annoyed with the fact that Yugyeom wasn't focusing on what he was saying earlier, knowing all too well, he would need to repeat whatever he told him all over again. Yugyeom excused himself for a while earlier to get a glass of water when he felt his throat drying up from talking and laughing nonstop with his roommate, but once he got back, he suddenly seems so out of everything that, Bambam needs to constantly call his name and nudge his arms to wake him up from his thoughts.

"Are you sleepy already? Just tell me so we can go to sleep, instead of making me talk here, you weren't even listening?"

"No, I'm listening!"

He quickly retorts, shaking his hands in front of him to look more convincing.

"Then can you tell me what am I saying earlier?"

"Uh...you're talking about how you...pranked, Jaebeom hyung yesterday?"

He answered, sounding more of a question as he hesitantly lifted his gaze to look at his best friend. He pouts his lips when Bambam rolls his eyes.

"We're already done talking about that since you left to drink some water earlier," He said, now throwing a suspicious look at his best friend, who's just sitting there at the opposite bed beside his own while scratching the back of his neck, "Seriously, dude? What's up? Do you think I'm not noticing it? You've been spacing out a lot these days in the most random times, what's the matter?"

The gray-haired male questioned. At first, he didn't want to make it a big deal when Yugyeom would just suddenly space out while they're talking about something or just doing their usual antics. He thought it was just because he was already tired or out of energy that's why he'd suddenly turned silent and would zone out, but as it continues almost every day up until now, he couldn't help but be worried about him.

"It's nothing and I guess you're right, I'm kind of sleepy now so I keep on spacing out, sorry."

"Liar,"

"Excuse me? How dare you?"

Yugyeom said in disbelief. Not really expecting his best friend to be suddenly accusing him of lying right now...even though he's sort of was.

"Excuse you too, but I know that it's not just nothing! Come on, man! How could you lie to me like this?"

He thought there are no keeping secrets between them? What happens to their besties rule number one?

Yugyeom lowered his eyes on his hands as he saw that slightly disappointed look on his best friend's face. He honestly feels so guilty right now. He knows he's been doing something these past few weeks that was against their best friend's rule, but what should he do? He didn't even know what to do himself, he didn't even sure himself what he was doing and he's honestly scared of his best friend's possible reaction about it.

Will he be okay with it? Will he find it disgusting? What if he didn't want to be friends with me anymore? What if he tells it to the other hyungs?

There's just a lot of what if's and worries inside his head and he wasn't just worried about his best friend's reaction, he's worried about everyone's possible reaction when they found out.

I don't even want to think of what will gonna happen?

The younger thought as he heaves out a deep sigh.

"You promised me you'll tell me everything..."

Bambam reminded him with his sulking voice. He feels so unfair, not because he knows there's something he didn't know about him, but because he feels like, Yugyeom doesn't trust him enough to share his problems or worries with him, when he was there, always trusting the latter with his own problems no matter how big or small it was.

Yugyeom stays quiet for a minute, he really feels sorry, but no matter how much he wanted to tell him, he didn't even know how and where to start, because he, himself isn't even sure how it all just suddenly happens?

"You really not gonna tell me?"

Bam asked, ready to throw a tantrum if ever his best friend refuses to tell him.

"I don't know how to tell you..."

The latter spoke, eyes still focused on his hands. Right at that moment, Bambam had already proved his assumptions to himself that his best friend was definitely hiding something big from him, and he honestly feels slightly mad with the thought of, Yugyeom not sharing it to him when he's obviously so bothered like that, but the sound of his voice and the looks on his face made, Bambam worrying over him than being mad.

"No need to be careful, I'm going to brace myself, just tell me the main point, I promise, I'll understand no matter what,"

He assured him with a smile. Yugyeom finally lifted his head to look at him and just nodded his head. He still didn't know what words should he use to describe it, but he decided to just tell him, after all this is, Bambam, his best friend, he'll understand him more than anyone.

"I'm in a—"

Yugyeom didn't get the chance to finish his sentence when the door to their shared room suddenly opens and Jinyoung in his pajamas walks inside the room. The older was kind of surprised at first when he saw the younger guys still awake, but immediately gives them a curious look when he notices how serious they look as if they're talking about something controversial.

"Oh, you guys are still awake?"

The two younger guys shifted their attention to him, but Yugyeom immediately averts his eyes somewhere as soon as his hyung met his eyes.

"We're about to sleep now too, hyung." Bambam answered, noticing how his best friend became more uneasy when the older entered the room, "Does Jackson hyung already went home?"

He asked and Jinyoung only muttered a quick 'yeah' as he finally walks towards the adjacent room so he could prepare himself to sleep now, too.

"He should've just sleepover here tonight, it's already late, also, he should've just gone back to living here if he'll just keep on visiting almost every day?"

"That's what I've been telling him, but you know how he wanted his own little 'privacy' right? Also, he said he has a schedule on Tuesday in China, so he really needs to get home so he could prepare his suitcase before his flight,"

The older answered, still doing things around his own room while talking with, Bambam. His door is still wide open, making, Yugyeom aware of his every move since his bed was just literally in front of his hyungs's door.

"Anyway, I'mma go to sleep now, so please, I don't want to hear you guys having a dissing battle in the middle of the night again, you should sleep now, too. We need to wake up early tomorrow for a photo shoot."

He warned. Walking out of his room again so he could look at them.

"Hyung, even if I want, Yugyeom keeps on going nuts today, it wouldn't be fun, he wouldn't get to play well with me."

Bam answered and just chuckles a little when the taller guy on the opposite bed glares at him.

"Yugyeom is always nuts, what's new?"

"Hey!"

Yugyeom whined as he shifted his glare to his hyung when he said that.

Jinyoung childishly stuck his tongue out to before he chuckles it off and just goes back inside his room again and finally closed it, leaving the maknae pouting on his bed.

"You're in a?"

Bambam reminded, trying to get his best friend's attention back on their interrupted talk.

"Huh?"

"You said earlier that you're in a? What? What are you in?"

His best friend said, now getting more eager to find out about it.

Yugyeom muttered a small 'Ahhh' when he gets it, but quickly raised an eyebrow at him when he remembered his friend's little insult earlier.

"After you called me nuts? Never mind, Bambam."

The younger said, crossing his arms on his chest.

"When did I?"

"Just now, what the heck?"

"What? I didn't call you nuts, I just said, you 'keep on going nuts' okay?"

The latter explained, quoting his own words to prove his point.

"That's just the same thing!"

"No, it's not! Now, tell me."

"No."

Yugyeom firmly said, exchanging serious looks with the guy in front of him.

"Yugyeom."

Bam repeated, but his best friend looks so determined right now. He couldn't even believe he'd be taking that words seriously like this?

"Fine then," He spoke after a few seconds, "I thought there will be no keeping secrets between us until the end, but okay, sure, keep it, I guess you just didn't trust me enough?"

Bam added, sulking as he finally lays down on his bed and turns his back to his friend.

"Hey, It's not like that!"

The maknae said, waiting for his friend to face him again, but he ended up letting out a sigh when the latter didn't even budge.

He took a quick glance at the closed adjacent door in line with his bed, wondering if the occupant is already sleeping or still awake?

"Bam-ah?"

He whispered, trying to be cautious in case the older is still awake inside his room.

"Tomorrow, I'll tell you tomorrow..."

He added, still whispering and hoping that his friend would understand. Bambam slightly turned his body to peaks on him from behind, looking at him with his still sulky face.

"Why not now?"

He spoke. Imitating, Yugyeom's tone as if he immediately got the vibe of confidentiality.

"I'll just tell you tomorrow, I promise."

"And if you don't?"

"Then disown me as your best friend,"

"Be careful with your words, Kim Yugyeom. I'll really do it if you failed to tell me,"

"I promised, okay."

"Fine."

Bam said and finally adjusted his body to lay down properly. Yugyeom slips down on his bed too, getting ready to sleep.

"You know what? Damn you! How can I even sleep now with these thoughts on my head?"

The Thai male complained, laying on his back while staring up at his ceiling. Even though Yugyeom already assured him that he'll reveal it tomorrow, still, his mind can't stop wondering what his best friend could possibly be hiding from him.

Yugyeom chuckles slightly and muttered a small 'tomorrow' at him before pulling up his blanket to his shoulders and closing his eyes, attempting to sleep.

He keeps his eyes closed for a couple of minutes, still trying to drive himself into dreamland, but no matter how sleepy he was right now, his mind is still wide awake as he thought of him. Wondering if he'll do it again tonight like he usually does this past few weeks starting from that day.

Slowly opening his eyes, he shifted his head to check on his best friend on the opposite bed. Bambam is already sleeping soundless, and he wished he was like that now, too.

His gaze shifted on the closed door a few meters away from the edge of his bed.

Who is he kidding? Of course, he wouldn't exactly wish that he was now sleeping soundlessly like Bambam, because if he is, he wouldn't have the chance to get his little moment with him.

But only if he's going for it again tonight, and if not, then Yugyeom was just wasting his time not sleeping right now.

It's past midnight, I should just sleep.

He convinced himself after checking the time on the small clock on the table between their beds.

He slowly closed his eyes, forcing himself to clear his thoughts, so he could just peacefully sleep, but on contrary, his whole senses are still awake, trying to get a feel of his surroundings if ever a certain door would creak or a careful sound of footsteps approaching, would suddenly emerge.

Another soundless minute had passed, when Yugyeom just automatically opens his eyes again as he felt something. He quickly checks, Bambam on his side again, and felt immediate relief when he saw him still unmovable on his bed.

He's still awake.

He told himself as a quick sugar rush invaded his body when the door at the end of his bed, slowly creaks open. The occupant's face was barely visible since he's just peeking from the slight space, looking at the maknae as if asking him if everything's clear now.

Yugyeom pulls himself up to sit on his bed, sending a small smile to his hyung as if telling him that it's safe to go out now. Bambam is already dead asleep and he wouldn't wake up unless you kick him out of his bed.

The maknae waited until Jinyoung fully opened his door to reveal himself. He carefully approaches the younger on his bed after taking a quick glance at the Thai male on the other bed.

Yugyeom automatically made space for him at the bed. He gently wraps his arms around his hyung's frame when the latter snakes his arms on his waist and leans his head on his shoulder.

"I haven't said good night, yet..."

The older whispered, audible just for, Yugyeom.

"I know."

He answered, voice matching the older's.

Jinyoung snuggles even more inside the younger's embrace, closing his eyes and just making himself comfortable.

Yugyeom gently pulled the older with him to slightly leaned on the bed's headboard. He heaves out a sigh he rested his cheek on his hyung's head on his shoulder.

They just stayed silent while cuddling together. No words, no other extra movement, just them enjoying their little moment. A moment that had been a usual thing for them these past few weeks.

I suddenly can't remember how did it all happen?

Yugyeom's mind goes back on wandering, mainly with the thought of how in just a snap, they would end up sneaking out together in between their busy work to find themselves a small hidden place to share a quick kiss, how they would end up holding each other's hand under the table while everyone is busy conversing, or how would end up in each other's arms every night when everyone is already sleeping.

It's still wasn't very clear to Yugyeom how did they end up like this, but one thing is clear to him.

Maybe, I was still the same, Yugyeom after all.

That, Yugyeom from 5 years ago, from their pre-debut days.

"We should go sleep, now..."

Yugyeom wakes up from his thoughts when he heard his hyung whispering something to him again. He looks back at the older's eyes as Jinyoung finally untangled himself to him to properly face him.

He nodded his head, knowing all too well, this moment isn't really supposed to last longer.

Jinyoung looks down on his hands as a sudden shyness crept unto him. He'd been doing it a couple of times already starting from that day, but the feeling of hesitation and excitement is still there whenever he's thinking of doing it.

He lifted his gaze on the guy in front of him again, and seeing him staring back at his eyes as if he's already expecting and just waiting for it, Jinyoung finally decided to lean in forward to place a gentle kiss on the younger's lips.

It was quick, but the softness and sweetness of it always linger longer on Yugyeom's lips.

They smiled endearingly to each other after it. Jinyoung watches his face with that smile as if memorizing every curve and edges of his face, attempting to bring the image of it with him in his sleep.

"Good night,"

He finally mutters after capturing the image of the younger's face on his head.

"Hm, good night, hyung."

Yugyeom softly mutters back.

Jinyoung lets out a relieved sigh before slowly nodding his head and quietly getting off the younger's bed. Yugyeom was just watching him as he walks back into his room, they smiled at each other one last time before the older finally closes his door.

Yugyeom stares at the closed door for a moment.

I'm sorry that's there's still a slight doubt. I'm just scared. So much, scared.

Somehow, even though, he's honestly happy and contented, he still couldn't remove the slight doubt about this whole thing. He didn't want to thought of it like that, but no matter how much he convinced himself, once the older was finally letting him go, leaving him, it would just all comes back to him. The feeling of fear and doubt that all along it might just be some kind of his silly and mean prank, that one day when he wakes up he'll saw him grinning and laughing at him along with the other members for stupidly believing it.

The maknae shakes his head slightly to remove those thoughts inside his mind. He shifted his attention back at his best friend and heaves out a deep sigh.

He will have a lot to tell, Bambam tomorrow. 

 

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A/N: Wrote this way back 2017 or early 2018 I think? LOL this story is old. Also, the setting of the story takes place when the majority of the boys' are still living in the dorm while Youngjae and Jackson already moved out to their own apartments.