Group: this is a mess

thebiggame: hey u see how we were talking about human cats last time in the chat?

pepijy: wtf

flyingmork: u mean crushes?

thebiggame: yeah!

thebiggame: them

gyeomthestage: u could have just said crushes u know

thebiggame: ur the one who invented the phrase

gyeomthestage: i know and it’s great

pepijy: *stupid

gyeomthestage: *great

otterjae: it is pretty great at least for jaebum hyung

doubleb: right?

defsoul: who wouldn’t want to date a human cat?

pepijy: … a lot of people

flyingmork: yeah too many hairballs when ur making out

thebiggame: would they have hairy balls?

gyeomthestage: omg stop

thebiggame: ;)

otterjae: … moving on

flyingmork: right moving on

thebiggame: oh yeah i was going to ask smth

thebiggame: do y’all have any crushes?

doubleb: why do u want to kno?

thebiggame: i’m just wondering. can’t a guy be curious about his friends without being judged? TT TT

gyeomthestage: ur v/ suspicious so no

flyingmork: jackson suggested it so he has to say first

defsoul: he doesn’t have a crush tho

otterjae: i don’t think anyone here does. i don’t, jackson hyung and jaebum hyung don’t apparently, and i have never heard jinyoung hyung, mark hyung, yugyeom or bambam mention anyone

flyingmork: bambam is in love with himself

doubleb: can u blame me? i mean have u seen my legs?

defsoul: we can’t help but see them considering u show them off the whole time

doubleb: bc they’re great

thebiggame: debatable

doubleb: confirmed

flyingmork: no

doubleb: yes

pepijy: narcissism

doubleb: self confidence

gyeomthestage: bs

doubleb: bb

otterjae: hey guys bambam’s legs are good. they’re long + thin

defsoul: they look like a girl’s

otterjae: mark hyung’s legs are practically the same

gyeomthestage: not really bc mark hyung is short

flyingmork: shut up

flyingmork: plus i work out bambam doesn’t

thebiggame: u work out?

flyingmork: sometimes. it helps for gymnastics

gyeomthestage: wow so amazing

pepijy: so we’ve confirmed that jbumblebee, youngjae and jackson don’t have crushes and that bambam is in love with himself

pepijy: anything else you wanna add mark hyung and yugyeom?

thebiggame: actually i do have a crush

defsoul: u have a crush and u didn’t tell me??!!!

thebiggame: i have a crush on everyone who is hot

defsoul: oh ok nvm

pepijy: u literally flirted with the new pe teacher yesterday

thebiggame: hey he was cute!

doubleb: he’s about 10 ft too tall for u tho

thebiggame: stfu giraffe legs

otterjae: how tall is he?

gyeomthestage: taller than me?

doubleb: like 192cm??

gyeomthestage: damn that’s edging me out by a full 10cm

doubleb: jackson by about 100 cm

thebiggame: u both im literally about 3 mm away from being 175 cm which is the same as mark hyung

otterjae: omg stop arguing about height we were talking about jackson hyung flirting with people

defsoul: oh yeah

defsoul: u also flirted w/ the substitute teacher for math class

thebiggame: she was t h i c c

pepijy: gross

thebiggame: c’mon she was hot

doubleb: sorry i’m gay i can’t listen to this homophobia

gyeomthestage: what homophobia?

doubleb: the homophobia

gyeomthestage: ur so weird

doubleb: u luv it

gyeomthestage: u got me there

flyingmork: be gay somewhere else we’re talking about crushes here

flyingmork: and fyi i don’t like anyone

gyeomthestage: i don’t either. i’m married to the music

otterjae: that just leaves jinyoung hyung

thebiggame: ;)

thebiggame: so what is it dear jinyoungie u crushing on anyone?

pepijy: no

defsoul: u sure?

pepijy: yes

doubleb: gyeom the manipulator and expert in jinyoung can u confirm this?

gyeomthestage: well u see it’s interesting

pepijy: u mustard head i stg

gyeomthestage: nah i’m just kidding he’s not

gyeomthestage: he’s also too in love with himself to have a crush

thebiggame: no wonder bambam is his 3rd favorite

thebiggame: wait where am i in this ranking?

pepijy: ur forth

thebiggame: hey at least i’m not last

thebiggame: tho i still don’t get why i’m 4th bc u make death threats at me way less than bambam but whatever

doubleb: always look for the positives

defsoul: who’s last then? me or yugyeom?

thebiggame: ooooooh boi that’s a tuff one

flyingmork: it’s yugyeom

doubleb: no it’s obviously jb

thebiggame: it’s yugyeom

otterjae: i’m pretty sure it’s jaebum hyung

otterjae: jinyoung hyung acts like he hates yugyeom but he actually loves him a lot

pepijy: no i don’t

gyeomthestage: jinyoung is a tsundere

doubleb: boy or girl?

gyeomthestage: girl obv

gyeomthestage: do u really think he is a boy?

doubleb: tru

pepijy: shut up i’m a boy

flyingmork: we don’t care about ur gender just tell us who is at the bottom of ur ranking - jb or yugyeom

doubleb: spill the tea

thebiggame: TEA

otterjae: i still think it’s jaebum hyung

defsoul: i think it’s yugyeom

defsoul: jinyoung loves me he just can’t admit it

pepijy: u wish j

gyeomthestage: jinyoung actually luvs us both much more than he wants to admit so he’s stalling

pepijy: yeah right

defsoul: it’s true

pepijy: it’s not

defsoul: it is

gyeomthestage: it is

pepijy: it’s nOT

gyeomthestage: it iS

pepijy: i don’t have a crush on anyone

gyeomthestage: we know we established that 10 minutes ago move on already

pepijy: and both yugyeom and johnb are awful

thebiggame: but which one is WORSE?

doubleb: u must have a bottom

gyeomthestage: jinyoung IS the bottom ;)

pepijy: kim yugyeom i stg u better start running or ur not going to see the light of day the next morning

doubleb: rip yugyeom

doubleb: he was a great guy

otterjae: don’t hurt him!

gyeomthestage: thank u youngjae hyung ur literally the only 1 that cares

gyeomthestage: WAIT

gyeomthestage: i want to die

defsoul: why?

flyingmork: i mean same and everything but why?

gyeomthestage: bc if i die then jaebum is last no matter what

gyeomthestage: and then when people ask if i’m last in jinyoung’s ranking then i’ll be like nah it’s jb i died before he could rank me

gyeomthestage: i’m a genius

pepijy: ur actually the dumbest person i know

flyingmork: so u want to die?

flyingmork: i can help with that

thebiggame: is that ur way or admitting u want to kill yugyeom?

flyingmork: maybe

gyeomthestage: mark hyung what did i ever do to you?

pepijy: exist

gyeomthestage: no one asked u

doubleb: guys we’re getting off topic here

thebiggame: as always

defsoul: bambam is right

flyingmork: for once

defsoul: we need a straight answer

otterjae: for what?

defsoul: jinyoung who is in last place in your ranking? answer now

gyeomthestage: u better answer

pepijy: why should i?

gyeomthestage: oh r u forgetting about something jinyoungie?

pepijy: …… oh yeah i forgot how much of an u r

pepijy: fine

pepijy: 1st place youngjae, 2nd place mark hyung, 3rd place bambam, 4th place jackson

doubleb: omg we know

thebiggame: that’s old news now

gyeomthestage: he’s just stalling for time let him have his fun

gyeomthestage: it’ll all be crushed in a minute anyway

flyingmork: dark

gyeomthestage: exactly

gyeomthestage: now answer

otterjae: this is surprisingly tense

thebiggame: it sure is youngjae

defsoul: come on jinyoung hurry up

doubleb: i’m getting old here

pepijy: ok fine u guys want the answer then i’ll give it to u

pepijy: they r both in bottom

thebiggame: u can’t do that u have to pick

pepijy: no i don’t

pepijy: you said what MY ranking is well this is it

pepijy: j + lemon curd? both equally as terrible

flyingmork: u have to pick

otterjae: it’s better to have 1 answer

thebiggame: see even youngjae agrees

thebiggame: now spill

defsoul: come on jinyoung

gyeomthestage: u better tell or else

thebiggame: tell us who’s bottom

double: say who’s better

pepijy: fine u s

pepijy: it’s jb

otterjae: i’m confused

flyingmork: same

doubleb: is jb the one u like more or the 1 at the bottom of the heap?

defsoul: don’t phrase it like that

doubleb: but it’s tru tho

pepijy: he’s the better one bc yugyeom is a blackmailing manipulative little

gyeomthestage: i learned from the best

gyeomthestage: (that’s u btw jinyoung u fake)

defsoul: so i’m better than yugyeom?

defsoul: i’m not bottom of the heap?

doubleb: u literally just said not to phrase it like that

defsoul: i’ve been converted now that i know i’m better than yugyeom

doubleb: wow ok double standards

thebiggame: do u feel good now knowing that ur jinyoung’s secret luv?

pepijy: wtf he’s in fifth place how is he my secret love?

thebiggame: he just is

gyeomthestage: pls we all kno ur a tsundere

doubleb: *tsundere anime girl

gyeomthestage: yes thank u

gyeomthestage: u love jb

pepijy: u don’t even seem sad at coming last

gyeomthestage: why would i be?

gyeomthestage: if i want to hear u love and praise me i know exactly how i’ll hear it

flyingmork: that blackmail is some strong stuff

otterjae: does it make u feel powerful?

gyeomthestage: oh man u don’t even know

doubleb: so yugyeom doesn’t give a damn about coming last wby jaebum hyung?

doubleb: u feel happy that jinyoung hyung actually cares about u? at least more than yugyeom?

defsoul: i mean at least i can use this as a reason as to why he should stop fighting about the co leaders thing

defsoul: but apart from that

defsoul: eh

defsoul: it’s ok i guess

otterjae: but ur always like “i know u luv me jinyoung don’t deny it” tho?

defsoul: that’s just a joke

defsoul: i don’t actually care where i am in jinyoung’s ranking

flyingmork: u don’t care about anything really except for cats and i guess soccer so i buy it

doubleb: same

otterjae: i do too

otterjae: i mean if jinyoung hyung really is a tsundere anime girl like yugyeom says he is then he actually likes jaebum hyung a lot more than he’s letting on so there’s nothing to worry about!

pepijy: asdlkhjfdjs YOUNGJAE

pepijy: im not a tsundere anime girl

gyeomthestage: lmaooooo jinyoung betrayed by ur favorite member

pepijy: this is why ur at the bottom u piece of