"M-mina...?" she turned to look at Chaeyoung who surprisingly woke up very early and by herself, but is looking at her in so much confusion. "What.. what are you doing here?"

Mina's brows furrowed as she walked to the bed and sat beside Chaeyoung. "Baby.. what do you mean what I am doing here? Of course this is our house, we've been staying here again for weeks now. Did you forget... again?" 

"Oh. I'm sorry... I thought I'm still at my mom's house and you.." she looked at Mina with those sad painful eyes. "I thought you've already went to US"

Mina noticed how Chaeyoung has been so forgetful these past few days. She wanted to shrug it off convincing herself that it maybe just the side effects of her medicines, like how she gets so sleepy every time. And, Mina is forgetful too sometimes.

But she just can't fool herself. Mina knows that this is different from what she's experiencing. Chaeyoung's case is just really.. different. Because she's not just forgetting random things.

Chaeyoung is forgetting.. memories. Our memories. 

"Hey.. I'm here. Please don't be sad, my love" she said as Mina caressed Chaeyoung's hands. "Come on, let's get ready. We're going to the hospital, right?" 

Mina is now driving to the hospital for Chaeyoung's scheduled check up. She was so glad that her wife agreed to do this because Mina is really genuinely worried. She wants to know what's Chaeyoung's condition is now and she also had lots of question to ask to the Doctor.

"Baby, if after an hour and I'm still asleep, can you please wake me up?"

Mina turned to look at Chaeyoung who is now finding a comfortable position to sleep.

"Sure, love. I'll always wake you up" she smiled at her.

Chaeyoung has been afraid of falling asleep lately. She always asks Mina to wake her up every morning or even just from her short naps. That's why it was a surprise for Mina when she woke up by herself this morning, maybe disturbed by a nightmare.

When Mina asked her why she always wanted to be woken up, her answer pained Mina.

"Maybe because.. I'm afraid to die in my sleep. I'm afraid to die alone.. to die without even saying goodbye and seeing you for the last time" 

Mina parked at the hospital's carpark and leaned in to kiss Chaeyoung who's still sleeping. She gave soft pats on her cheek, waking her up. 

"Chaeng, we're here" 

Chaeyoung fluttered her eyes open and smiled at Mina. A smile which she fully knows the meaning behind it because Chaeyoung once explained it to her. 

"I am always relieved every time I open my eyes from a deep sleep and I see your face. It's like a reminder for me that I'm still alive and I have another day to be with you again" 

They entered the hospital and a nurse accompanied them to the Doctor's office. Mina just helped Chaeyoung to fill out some form since she's getting dizzy again and waited for the check up to begin. Mina stayed outside, waiting patiently as she sat on the benches. Praying and hoping for a good news and a good result. 

After hours of nervously waiting, Mina was called to go inside on where Chaeyoung is. She saw her wife sitting in front of the Doctor's table so Mina sat on the vacant seat in front of Chaeyoung. Mina held out her hand and holds Chaeyoung's, smiling at her to at least calm her down.

Mina has never seen Chaeyoung this nervous and scared. And even though she's feeling the same, or rather more than that, she needs to act strong for her.

A monitor flashed in front of them, showing what seems like X-rays of Chaeyoung's brain. Both of their attention focused on it and to what the Doctor was about to say.

"Miss Son, the left photo shows your result when you were first diagnosed. While the right photo is the present one" the Doctor said while pointing at the screen. "This is the tumor.. as you both can see, it's different. Your tumor has rapidly grown in size for just over four months"

Mina can't help but to grip tightly on Chaeyoung's hand. They stared at each other, knowing exactly what the other is feeling. 

"This will cause great impact to your body, Miss Son. The symptoms may be getting worser too. May I ask how are you feeling and what symptoms were you experiencing for that whole four months?"

Chaeyoung gulped, trying to think hard about what to answer. She doesn't know if she's forgetting things again or.. she's just that scared right now.

"Well.. it's always the chronic headaches, dizziness and vomiting. And some days, I felt so weak too" the Doctor nodded at her answers.

"I see.. it's the common symptoms that you're experiencing"

"Uh.. can I ask something?" Mina suddenly interrupted. She's just so bothered that she felt like she needed to ask this right away. "These days, she's always sleepy. I just want to know if.. it's just a side effect of her medicines?"

"Hmm, not really. Patients with Glioblastoma, specially at this stage tends to get really sleepy. Since they get so tired easily so they resort to sleeping"

"But.. what about, uh.." Mina glanced at Chaeyoung quickly, her wife is staring at her. "about being forgetful? She wasn't like that, it just started last week"

The Doctor fixed his eyeglass and looked at Mina intently. "Well, it can happen.. memory loss is also a common symptom of this type of cancer since it's attacking the brain. And to be honest with you, the memory loss might get worse too"

Mina's heart crushed more upon hearing that. She wanted to cry but she doesn't want to worry Chaeyoung anymore. Not now that her wife had gone silent, Mina doesn't even know what's running on her mind.

"What do we do? How can we stop it? Is it curable? Is there any treatments?" Mina asked continously. "We will pay whatever amount it is. Just tell us what to do.. just tell me how do I live with my wife for a longer time"

"There's treatment, but.. it will not completely cure it. It will just slow down and reduce the tumor. It can be radiotherapy or chemotherapy..."

"No! I don't want to undergo on that ing treatments!" Chaeyoung suddenly raged. Mina stood up immediately to calm her down.

"Chaeng.."

"No, Mina! It will just weaken my body more.. it'll just take all of my remaining time with you!" Mina hopelessly looked at the Doctor, who's obviously understanding the situation right now. 

"Well, there's also a surgery for this" Mina almost had a glimpse of hope on that, so is Chaeyoung. But of course.. there's always a but. "But I need to be honest with the both of you specially you, Miss Son. Your tumor is located deep inside your brain and if you're going to have a surgery, I can't promise a hundred percent success on it"

They went home after that, both engulfed with deafening silence. Both doesn't know what the other is thinking. They just stayed on holding unto each other's hands, trying to get strength from it.

Mina sat on the sofa while Chaeyoung is laying down on her lap. Their only light is from the television that's playing a romantic movie, which obviously both of them didn't paid attention to. Both of their minds are just wandering off.

"Mina.." Chaeyoung called out, breaking the silence. "Can you give me time to decide about.. everything?"

"Of course, baby" Mina looked down at her and smiled, softly caressing her hair. "I will never pressure you about it. Just tell me when you're ready"

The Doctor advised Chaeyoung that if ever she really wanted to undergo with the surgery, she needs to keep her body strong and healthy. It's really a very critical surgery, and her whole life depends on it.

When Mina saw that Chaeyoung already fell asleep on her lap, it's like it was her cue to let out all the tears she'd been holding back since morning. She covered and tried not to shake too much, stiffling her sobs. It was just so painful to think about everything, on how hopeless Chaeyoung's case is. On how hopeless they are.

Mina wanted to scream because of so much anger and pain. They were literally giving Mina choices, options.. but it's like not considered as that. Doing the surgery or not, either way, she might die.

It's like.. they gave Mina no choice at all. But to accept that.. Chaeyoung will eventually leave her.

The next day, Mina woke up early as usual, she didn't even realized that they spent the night at their living room. She watched Chaeyoung sleeping peacefully, but fear crept on her heart again. Mina woke her up and every single time Chaeyoung's not opening her eyes, her heart doubled its heartbeat. 

"Good morning, my love" Mina could already sigh in relief, greeting Chaeyoung who's finally awake. 

"Good morning.. what day is it today?" 

"Baby it's Sunday.." Mina smiled although jer mind is thinking, here it goes again. 

"Sunday?!" she quickly got up, as if panicking. "What time is it? Come on wake Maddie up, we're going to Lotte World right? Let's go" 

Mina doesn't even know what to feel at that moment. She wanted to cry again, as she watch Chaeyoung already standing up and going to Maddie's room. She doesn't know what's more heartbreaking now. 

The sudden mention of Maddie's name because God knows how much she's missing her daughter.. or Chaeyoung forgetting about Maddie being.. gone. 

"Chaeng.." she held her by the arm, stopping her from opening the door. "Maddie.. she's gone. Okay? Our daughter isn't here anymore" 

Chaeyoung stood there, stopped on her tracks. Mina saw how a tear escaped on her eyes, but she still don't know if Chaeyoung already remembered it. 

So her last memory is us.. having that last family day. 

Mina decided to take Chaeyoung out to breathe some fresh air. She drove to the place where they always spend their picnic dates every Sunday. Mina laid out the blanket under the shade of the tree, and they sat there enjoying the cool breeze of the wind. 

"Are you okay?" Chaeyoung suddenly asked upon noticing how Mina has gone quiet. 

"Yeah.. of course. How about you? No headaches?" 

Chaeyoung shook her head as an answer. Mina nodded at her and smiled before laying down to admire the blue sky. She's watching the leaves swaying because of the wind, when her face was blocked from the light of the sun by Chaeyoung's face. She's now on top of her but not giving Mina any weight, she's supporting herself with her arms on Mina's side. 

"Hey.. what's wrong?" 

"Nothing" Chaeyoung smiled at her. "I just want to say that you're not just the most beautiful woman I ever met but also.. the bravest and strongest" 

"Baby..." 

"Mina, I love you so much" and Chaeyoung leaned in to give her a kiss. It lasted long, it was so passionate and full of love that Mina's heart ached more. She can't help but to cry. 

"I.." she sobbed. "love you too, Chaeng"

"Please baby, don't cry for me like this. Don't cry anymore" Chaeyoung wiped her tears as they both sat up and faced each other again. "I already made up my mind, Mina" 

"About.. what?" 

"I'll undergo on that surgery. It maybe a fifty-fifty chance of survival but I'll still do it, Mina. I'll take whatever chance I have just so I could live with you longer" Chaeyoung heaved a deep breath as Mina was just looking at her, still crying her heart out. 

"I.. don't want to leave you yet baby" 

Mina hugged Chaeyoung so tight, as if never wanting to let go. "Thank you, Chaeng.. thank you for fighting, thank you for never giving up. On your life and.. on me" 

"I just need to keep my body strong, right? So I could be fit for the surgery" Mina nodded on her shoulder. "Then I'll do my best on it. I promise.." 

Mina faced her again and caressed her face. Looking at her lovingly and proudly. 

"Chaeyoung, I know all of this will not be that easy. It may be hard from now on, or maybe it'll get more harder. But I want you to know that we're gonna get through this.. together. We will get through it" 

Mina pressed a soft kiss on Chaeyoung's lips once again. 

"Because I can never see myself in a future without you"