Mina woke up the next day with Maddie's clothes still on her hands. She stared blankly at the ceiling, trying to sink in everything. That this is what her mornings will look like now. No good morning greetings, no hugs and kisses from her precious daughter.

It took a lot of strength and willpower to stood up and start tidying things on the bed. After that, Mina went out to find Chaeyoung. She almost slipped through her mind, she just remembered that she left her alone on the bed. Mina passed by the kitchen and there's a coffee cup at the table, still full and smoke was still visible. A sign that Chaeyoung just made it but she's nowhere to be found on the kitchen. 

Mina immediately went to their bedroom to check too, but there's just a messy bed right there. She entered only to hear something loud from the bathroom. Mina hurriedly opened the door only to see Chaeyoung, sprawled on the floor, vomiting on the toilet bowl. 

"Oh my God, Chaeyoung! What's happening? Are you okay?" Mina panicked as she ran towards her wife and slowly rubbed her back. 

Chaeyoung can't answer her but just laid out her hand, asking for a help so she could stand up. They walked to the sink and Chaeyoung immediately washed and face. Mina quickly wiped her face with the towel. 

"I'm okay, baby.. don't worry" Chaeyoung finally said as she leaned on the sink. "I just got dizzy and felt like throwing up" 

"Did you eat something bad? What? Why did you get dizzy?" 

"Calm down, princess. I think it's just the lack of sleep, the stress, just.. everything. But I'm fine now" Chaeyoung hugged Mina to assure her and to calm her down. 

"Did you work last night?" Mina asked in a stern voice. "I saw your laptop and it's open" 

"Baby, I'm sorry.. I just can't sleep" 

"I told you to stop overworking yourself! Look at what happened.. Chaeyoung please, can you take a lot of care of yourself?" Mina doesn't even know why she's about to cry again. She just wants to slap herself because how can she not get tired of crying? 

"Why are you crying?" Chaeyoung sounded so worried as she wiped Mina's tears. "Damn baby, I'm sorry.. please don't cry I promise this will not happen again" 

It's weird how the both of them are back to being just with each other in a whole house. Just the two of them. It should give some comfort, right? That's what Mina is thinking. But why does it still fell so.. empty. She just can't focus properly, even though she tried to do a lot of chores the whole day just to keep herself busy. But every time Mina would look at a place on their house, every corners of it, she could still vividly see fragments of Maddie playing, walking, laughing, and running around. 

The deafening silence is so painful. It's tje reality that Mina and Chaeyoung are just beside each other but it feels like they are far away from each other. No one dared to talk to the other, afraid that she might need some alone time. They were like programmed robots, just talking to ask each other some textbooks questions.

"What do you want for dinner?" This for example. Mina snapped out from her trance and looked at Chaeyoung.

"You? What do you want? I'll cook"

"No baby, just rest and I'll go out to buy some food" Chaeyoung quickly initiated.

"Oh. Okay, then. Just buy whatever you feel like eating"

When Chaeyoung finally leave, Mina was left all alone again. But the scariest part is, she's also feeling this even when Chaeyoung is around. She sighed heavily and glanced again at Maddie's bedroom door. It's like her feet has its own life and moved voluntarily. Mina is once again inside her daughter's room, roaming her eyes around, trying to relive past memories with her daughter.

Mina's phone suddenly rang, thinking that it was her wife she quickly pulled it out of her pocket. To her surprise, it was an unknown caller. Mina was hesitant to answer it, she just have no energy to talk to anyone right now. But the constant ringing was annoying her so she just answered it.

"Hello? Who's this?"

"Mina? Is this you?" A voice of a guy answered her from the other line.

"Jackson...?"

"Yeah, Mina. it's me.. I just called to uh.." Jackson sighed, seemingly trying to form his words. "I want to be honest Mina, I heard about what happened to M-maddie. So I took a lot of courage to ask your mom for your number. My deepest condolence to Chaeyoung and you, Mina"

"Thank you, Jackson. Her funeral was yesterday"

"Yeah, I heard. How are you? Oh I'm sorry, it was such a dumb question. Of course you're not fine" if this was a normal day, Mina would've laugh. "But I hope you'll keep on being strong, Mina. I know you'll get through it. You and Chaeyoung will get through it. Maddie would be happy if that will happen, I just met her for a few hours but I know your daughter is smart and kind. And she loves you too so much"

Mina had to stiffle her sobs because she doesn't want Jackson to hear it. She just thanked him again so that she could already end the phone call. It was the moment that Mina realized she's still not ready to talk about her daughter. And she doesn't even know when will she get ready for it. She lay down Maddie's bed and closed her eyes, she just wants to sleep and sleep until she'll woke up and it's all just a dream.

Chaeyoung just kept on driving and driving, she doesn't even know where she's going. She had to buy their dinner, it's true, but she just made it as a reason to let Mina be alone for a while. She parked near a river and sat on one of the benches there, she closed her eyes as the cool breeze of wind was felt on her face. Chaeyoung doesn't even noticed that a tear already escaped her eyes. It seems like it's not just Mina who's needed to be alone, but, her too.

"Where are you?" Somi asked through the phone. She called Chaeyoung when she's buying beers from the convenience just in front of the river she's sitting at.

"Why? Is there a problem at work?"

"So you think I'll just call you because of work? Chaeyoung I'm asking you if where you are because I want to know if you're okay"

"Well.. it seems like your nose is just so strong for smelling beers" Chaeyoung paid for the beers and walked back to the bench. "I'm at a river somewhere, gonna drink a beer or two then will go home"

"Okay. Wait for me there"

"But-" the call already ended. Chaeyoung sighed and opened one can of the beer she got.

Chaeyoung was already at her second beer when Somi arrived and sat beside her. She looked at her and shook her head.

"How did you even find me? There's a lot of river in Korea"

"Let's just say.. I know you that much" Somi laughed and got the beer Chaeyoung gave her.

"Why are you even drinking here alone? Where's Mina?"

"At home. I told her I'd buy our dinner but here am I.. getting drunk" Chaeyoung chuckled and kicked the little stone. "I am gonna be so dead again, Jeon Somi"

Somi was just staring at Chaeyoung. She could clearly see the visible dark circles under Chaeyoung's eyes. How pale she is and how sad her eyes are. It pained her to see that the person she loves is hurting like this. And it's beyond her capability to make her better.

"Chaeyoung.." she called out and held Chaeyoung's hand. "it's okay to let it all out.. I know you're just bottling all your feelings up but it's okay to break that bottle and cry"

Chaeyoung chugged the whole can of beer as she watch the already darkening sky. As she's looking up, her tears started to flow and her chest started to feel so heavy. Until she could just throw the can on the ground and cried.

Somi pulled her and hugged her, Chaeyoung's shoulder were shaking from crying so hard.

"It hurts.. it hurts so much, Somi" her voice were cracking up. "It hurts so ing hell to loose our daughter but Somi.. why do I feel like I'm also starting to loose my wife?"

"Shhh.. it's okay, Chaeng, it's okay. Everything will be okay" Somi was softly tapping Chaeyoung's back as her tears were also flowing. "I'm here. I'll always be here for you"

Chaeyoung entered their house with the bag of food on her hand. The only light that was on is the light from the living room. She had to switch on all of the lights and looked for Mina in full of worries.

"Mina? Baby, where are you?" she places the bag on the kitchen table before she went out again on the living room.

The door from Maddie's room opened and a newly woken up Mina went out. Ah, of course. She's in there again.

"What took you so long?" Mina asked as she walked towards Chaeyoung. But her brows furrowed when she smell something. "Chaeyoung, did you drink?!"

"Just.. a little"

"What a little?! You're reeking of alcohol!" Mina sighed in frustration. "Why did you even drink? You're not feeling well this morning. Are you really trying to kill yourself?!"

"I'm.. sorry. I just wanted to have a little drink" Chaeyoung tried to hold Mina but she just moved back.

"You promised to take care of yourself, right? Then what are you doing now?! Drinking alcohol on an empty stomach. That's nice, Chaeyoung, that's nice!"

"I said I'm sorry already!" Chaeyoung didn't meant it to raise her voice but, she can't help it. Her emotions are still ruling over her. "I'm sorry that I had to drink because surprise Mina, it's not only you whose hurting here!"

"I know that you're hurting too, Chaeyoung! And that's not even what I meant"

"Really?! You know?" Chaeyoung scoffed and run her hand through her hair. "Mina you didn't even ask me of what I'm feeling! Maddie is my daughter too, Mina.. I'm also her mom. I lost a child too.."

Mina cried upon hearing Chaeyoung. Was she too selfish all these time? Is she just really thinking about herself? Chaeyoung was right, she lost her daughter too. They both loose Maddie.

"Chaeng.. I'm sorry.." Mina hugged Chaeyoung as they both cried. "I didn't mean for you to feel that way. I'm sorry.."

"I'm hurting too, Mina.. I just want you to know that. I just hope you can share yoir burden with me so that I could share mine too. Mina please, let's fight and get through this together"

Mina nodded and hugged Chaeyoung tightly. "I.. promise. But sometimes I just can't say it, Chaeyoung. It's still so hard.. please understand me"

Chaeyoung held her face and gave her a quick peck on her lips. "I know baby.. I understand"

"Thank you, Chaeng.. thank you.."

"I already lost my daughter Mina.. I just don't want to lose my wife, too"