Today we had to share class. My cousin gave me a knowing look, I ignored. She knew about me, about my feelings for you. She always had that look giving me a warning and like always I avoid it or try to. 

We went to the class, I saw you already sitting by the window. The seat beside you was empty but I kept my distance from you. So I was a few seat behind you. I could clearly saw you but you didn't notice me. Then that boy came, I could care less about his name, and sat on your left. There was still that empty seat between you two.

The class started. I was writing notes but also keeping my attention towards you. Some students started to whisper between each other when that boy asked you something. The teacher could care less. I stopped writing and looked at you. You're awkwardly replying and laughing at whatever he said. I felt so hurt and jealous. I wanted to be the reasons behind your every smile. I couldn't take it. So, I gathered all my things and left the class right away.

In the cafeteria, I was sitting with our friends. You were there with that guy. At first you were smiling but your smile fade away when our eyes met. I could see you holding his hands tightly. I smiled bitterly. 

"Hyun, I didn't know you were also present in the class." Wendy started talking. Irene didn't say anything and ignored her. But that didn't stop her from chirping. "You know I missed today's breakfast because I was late. Then I didn't see you in the class when I came. I thought you will be absent. But now you're here out of the blue." Irene knew she had a pout on without looking at her. I so want to kiss you right now. A few more minutes and a lot more chirping from her, the class ended. 
I pulled you with me, "Wan, want to have ice cream?" "Only if you're paying," you said cheekily. "Of course." I smiled. "Ok, let's go then." you pushed me towards the cafeteria. I laughed. I looked at my cousin who had that look but went with us anyway. 

"Joohyun, you can't behave like this. I know you liked her. Heck by how you look at her, you still like her. And like always I'll ask you to keep your distance with her. Stop being affected with everything she does and accept this." my cousin told me. I know she is right. She is always right. But what should I do. I've been in love with you for years now and I tried to move on but I couldn't. I wish I hadn't meet you that time.

Year 2012,
They first met, got into the same school and Irene was smitten at first sight. They friends in the same circle. Wendy'd always puffed her cheeks while getting angry. So Irene'd to no end and hurt her intentionally just to see her getting angry at her.
But the next year Wendy left. She  had to move away because of her father's work. Irene was sad but I didn't think of it much. For the next couple of years she only came back for vacation and most of the time Irene couldn't meet her. But she'd always left a message saying ' I missed you.'
Year 2015,
They're finally together in the same class. Irene was very clear with her feelings. By that time she got more shy around girls. And one person wouldn't just let it go. "Hyun, you are too shy around girls," and laugh along the others. She was head over heels for her. Her cousin noticed this and Irene avoided every question every time. That year Irene had accepted that she loves her.
 

Next couple of years, Wendy got closer to some other friends. They'd talk in secrets, sharing shy glances etc etc. In a truth or dare she also kissed him. Irene wasn't happy inside. But she did everything a supportive friend would do. She'd help with excuses to meet him, lying to Wendy's parents, everything. But from inside her heart broke. But she doesn't know about my feelings. 

---
"Hyun, did you love someone?" today felt different. 

"Yes." Irene replied.

"How come you didn't ever tell me?"

"Because... "

"Had that person broke your heart?"

"Why do you think so?"

"Because words written by you hurt me."

I'm sorry for hurting you.

---
"You know, my roommate was asking me why am I still awake and what am I doing this late at night."

"What was your answer?"

"I'm talking to my boyfriend."

"You never told me you had a secret boyfriend.... "

"Because I don't and I made you my secret boyfriend."

"...ok."

"But honesly, I really wish you were my boyfriend. So that I could fell in love with you and ask you to meet my parents officially. Maybe in next life."

"I still love you ok? And I promise, in next lifetime I'll be your boyfriend and love you with all my heart like always."

"When you say things like this, it all feels real? They are too sincere. They make my heart flutter but in a suffocating way."

"....Wan..."

"I have to go." 

"....? Ok. Take care, Princess."