It's Not Easy

It's Not Easy

It's not easy to say the least. The fight was one neither of them intended to happen. But as things go for them, it did. Things were said and done, and it left them both a little more broken than before. 

 

The beach was a place where they both felt they could breathe. Tutor loved the sun on his skin, the salt breeze, the sand between his toes. This go around is bittersweet.

 

Of course he's pretending for his friends, but he can't get one person off his mind. The person who despite everything, took care of Tutor when he was feverish. Who stayed, despite the lingering words that still hung heavy from that night. He deserved an apology, but Tutor was so out of his mind when he was sick that it didn't occur to him. Fighter's arms were so warm and inviting that he had practically melted in them when given the chance. 

 

Lugging his suitcase up the steps is almost enough to bring him to tears as the memories flood in. Leaving it by the door, he flops down on the bed, made up with red blankets and cream colored sheets, feeling a tear fall down his face.

 

After laying there feeling sorry for himself for a few minutes, he sits up and what he sees makes him wonder if the fever is coming back on him. He has to be hallucinating as the tall figure by the window comes into view. 

 

"P'... P'Fight?" The name is soft and it's obvious he's fighting tears. Fighter offers his signature white smile, and it hurts even more. He hurt him so badly. Told him he didn't love him. He doesn't deserve forgiveness.

 

Before he can stop himself he's up and practically toppling the older boy over, hugging him tightly with his face in his shirt. "Phi!" Fighter has a hand on the back of his head, rubbing gently, holding the small of his back. "I'm right here…" 

 

The sobs come out of him, unrestrained and broken. Fighter shushes him gently, rubbing small circles in his back. "I missed you so much Tor…" He whispers into his hair, Tutor shaking his head. "I don't deserve this… I was so mean to you… I-I said such hurtful things to you… I lied and I…" He's trying to catch his breath, Fighter lowering them onto the floor as Tutor's knees begin to shake. 

 

"Baby breathe. You just got over being sick. You'll end up feeling worse again." He ruffled Tutor's hair softly. "My father told me… About what he did to you. I initially found out through Zon. But my dad proved it. I'm sorry you went through that. But I'm always here for you. You're not alone anymore Tor…"

 

Tutor hiccups on his sobs as Fighter pulls away, cupping Tutor's red puffy cheeks. "I love you Tor… I'm sorry I hurt you. And I understand if you don't forgive me-" 

 

"We were both in the wrong that night… You scared me half to death P'Fight… I didn't know what you were thinking." Fighter's tears hurt more than his own, dripping down his chin. "I was hurt… Selfish… I didn't know what was going on… But now I know that it was just… Lack of communication." Tutor nods at that, his forehead resting against Fighters.

 

"I never stopped loving you… I never stopped thinking about you. I need you in my life P'Fight… I'm lost without you here. God I’m so sorry for hurting you..." 

 

Lips are on his, gentle and warm, and it makes him cry harder, kissing back, his arms looping around Fighters neck. It feels like home. He pulls away for a moment, brushing Tutor's tears away with his fingers. "I forgive you baby… Will you come back to me?" This earned a nod.

 

"Yes… I forgive you. Hold me…" Fighter pulls him so he's practically curled up in his lap, rocking him side to side gently, kissing him on the head. 

 

After they sat like that for a while, Tutor calming himself down, Fighters voice came out gentle, his words all the reassurance in the world that everything will be fine. Their fingers are laced together in Fighters lap, Tutor’s head pillowed against Fighters chest, hearing his gentle heartbeat, almost like a soft lullaby.

 

"I'll never let go of your hands again. Because I need you just as much as you need me… I promise teerak."  

 

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