You didn’t know how you got here. No, you knew how you got here, but you didn’t know where it would end up. It was a drunk mistake, 10 months ago, a drunk mistake turning into a regular cycle. You tried your best to put a stop to it, but here you were, back pressed against the wall and Sehun nipping expertly at your neck as if he knew your sensitive spots as if he memorized them.

It was happening again; he was playing with you again. You both have been friends with benefits for about 10 months now. You would be lying if you said you weren’t attracted to him, but this isn’t what you wanted, you wanted an actual relationship.

Tired, you fell asleep in his arms once again. This wasn’t in your agreement, but you never questioned it because it made you feel loved by him, even if it was just for a few hours. But you started getting confused. It was the littlest thing that got you confused.

-:-:-:-:-:-

You woke up with his hands draped over your bare waist, gently taking his hands off you, you go searching for your clothes as you walked out. You always left, scared of what would happen if you stayed. That would be too awkward. You decided you would look for someone else. No, not for a casual fling, a proper relationship, where you would receive as much love as you would give.

After a few hours after just watching tv, your phone rang. Looking at the caller id, you took a deep breath.

“You left…” he said

“Yeah. I always do,” you said, trying to sound casual.

“Right, yeah, but I was just… no, I was wondering if you would okay with lunch?” he stumbled over his own words.

“Lunch sounds nice.” you nodded even though you knew he couldn’t see you.

“I’ll be there in 15 minutes,” he informed then hung up.

15 minutes for more than enough time for you. Taking the first thing you see in your closet, you put it on. Not caring one bit about how you look because it wouldn’t matter to Sehun either.

You heard a honk as you made your way out. You opened the door as you mumbled a hi and him returning it. The air was awkward, there was a lot of tension. Turning your head to him to his hands grip the steering wheel, all you wanted to do was take his free hand and hold it, but you didn’t, because friends don’t do that, but friends don’t each other either.

You got off at the mall where your regular place was. He led you in and after you both ordered; you talked for a bit, just small talk. Then ate in complete silence.

You said that you had some shopping to do when he insisted he had spare time and he’s come with you. Smiling to yourself, you nodded. Going to the makeup section first, you looked around, trying to find a foundation as he just followed you around. Maybe you guys were fine, maybe it wasn’t awkward anymore.

After a good few minutes of applying it to your hand to see which fits, you saw a girl approaching you. You recognized as Sehun’s biggest headache as he says. “Hi Sehun!” she says in her high-pitched voice. You hated her, but you admired her in a way too. She was brave. She told Sehun about her feelings about him, though he didn’t outright reject her, he didn’t say no either.

“Hi, Kita,” he said without looking at her. Then she noticed you staring at her and asked, “Are you two dating?” which made you choke on air and Sehun rub your back, “No, weren’t no, we’re just friends.” he replied. Just friends. We’re just friends. “You guys can talk, I’ll just check around,” you said as you removed his hand from your shoulder and walked away.

“What were you even expecting, Y/N?” you said to yourself as you wrapped your hands around yourself. “Your just friends, you just an object that satisfies his needs,” you mumbled as you fought tears.

“Y/N