Chapter 2: Soigné 

I saw the wind passed by and the drizzles that I wondered how it affects to daily lives we have. The weather is unpredictable likewise it's a misconception that permanent is change to unforeseeable and damage. Others printed it in the newspaper part for zodiac sign matters or maybe to entertained us.

Our own life that intersects on other person lives that tangled the ideas before and after we have. Creates a fusion like the sky I gawked. A free spirited fairy dangling in the sky without limits. That what she is, she is Joy that running through my mind in three hundred sixty degree. Can't I be amazed at the way she is that can do everything she wanted. Because she is right and nothing like her can be anyone else. 

From the point of view of the public Sana can attest Joy is untamed beauty exquisite of independent.

Fast forward from where I was and here in my class that was cancelled now. I imagined the what if's of my decision if I didn't choose this path. 

Who would be Sana today if she fought that being a doctor was not for me? 

How does a words and phrase could take you to who you'll be in the next two decades?

The highschool days that every teenager wants to feel that they were independent at least was gone and partly move to another dimension. Seconds to minutes and turns to be years and filled her life to questions if it was truly meant to be in this way. She was in her path to be a medical student. A grand finale of what she is for, her surname change, into a valuable name that was chosen as her new family. Her father clapping like seal, and her mother standing with the smile etched on her face. They saw her on the stage to received her award to acknowledged a recognition of a groundbreaking ceremony as she hailed as the new student council president to her school she transferred permanently before she drown into medical school.

As it turns out it just a speck of alternative nightmare to dream she has. Because all along it just her imagination that she wants to know the status of being freed in the rumors circling to her. As if it chain to her ankles she was a reminder of the past that she is pity party. It was before then when she is in her grade school that her parents homeschool her for two years. As her mother see her episode after a week of being there in a new environment.

At least, her goal to see their proud and genuine smile looking up to her was a fruit she labor to a family she blessed to have. It really good to know patience is virtue and true blessing to her. 

It must be interesting that the people who greet her everyday for her day as a president in the university became a parade of acceptance and not the way it was she expected to be. But she wasn't comfortable as there was a memories of yesterday. For who she is, the rumors about being adopted is the one she never hide again. In a good way that she was happy temporarily to connect the idea of being Sana Cruz without the mirror hanging on her head she is another impostor.

She doesn't know when it began to feel the need to be cautious. But she can remember when is the start of the harrassment of being a charity case.

It's always a free spirited of her playing in the sand box like she can't imagined to have around with other children. They were her friends for the first time as she became an orphan. She was around seven years old and new to the environment in a house they called their new home. Few years of there in an orphanage enlighten her that her new home isn't what she thought it was.

Sana knew the other stories why she was here in this place, there's a reason why she was attracted to the idea of art to imagine the life she have outside the building. In fact it is a symbol of what she is and explanation of the emotions she can't get thru. It seems a gateway to realize the reality she had and before. 

In the middle of the classroom of second grade is her first week of there, and one day her name before flashback from where she should be. It started from a young group of people perplex Sana. The word is so sincere that she flew back to where her past was. 

The push sent the young girl to the ground on the grass, "Ouch" she said in a small voice she can utter. "I'm sorry." The first-ever reaction she got from the leader, she didn't know them, but she can tolerate them.

She knew it's the best not to report than to feed this kind of news to her foster parents. They're not going to believe her, as well what for when it's true and not a speculation without an evidence but a verbal abuse only. Her other family she went who foster her says that when they're angry or not. It's a matter of "fake it, till you make it" is the standard to survive in the place she is.

Whip of flash air on the corridor, from she enclosed a confidential letter to slip it, she walked again and somehow drift to another time. The first person who accepted her for who she is, a cousin eventually after her adoption, and a brother she never wished that gave to her. 

He is Kai the reason why she saw Mina again, the childhood friend that she got away because of a unfortunate circumstances brings them to where they are now.

A tall boy knock her again before she can stand up, "Don't say that. You're the reason of it. You told me you're my best friend but why are you there competing. You deceived me that you'll not be there. You're a monster. You're too selfish Sana. I talked to you how I wanted to present to my father that trophy. But you throw it away my chance to get it. I don't need someone like you. You're a liar. I hate you!" He lashed out to her not knowing her friend lost at the moment.

The first place of Sana, she goes back again in the so called time wherein her biological mother used to say her. The three words coming from Kai wasn't able to straighten the pain from her mother's wrath. Every oftentimes elders somewhat tells a myth for baby or a kid. Such as not remember a thing or two from their childhood. Sana hope the same thing happened to her. Eight letters of a three words to one meaning she knew at the back of her hand. She will not forgotten the memory of being there. Her friend Kai was a reminder of the lost, she eventually consumed to prove, and she pleased everyone else not to say those three words again.

It's all about the opposite of her eight letters, three words, one meaning she had already in her heart. 

She was covered with a reality she forgot she had. "I don't know what you're talking about. I told you. I am there because my teacher choose me to represent our school. I don't have any choice when I have to be here. I called you at the morning and a week before to know I'm here competing for chess too. I don't know that I am competing for a chess tournament that I thought it's not mixed gender." Sana stand up, her fist shaken a bit, the surroundings of where she was before became blurry except infront of her. "You're my friend. I will not betray you, that's not true. We are a family. Don't you forget the promise that I will protect you from him. Trust me, Kai." She said with a conviction that resulted her brother pointed a finger to her.

But Kai is too stubborn that he forget to notice about the person coming towards from them.

Sana would've thought Kai a lesson when he insulted her like that. But she stop, her anger subside, because of the next scene uncover to her sight she never dare to imagine.

A sound of masculine voice surprise them, Sana see her friend's face change to pale. "Say sorry to her. Say it." His father turn to his son, a loud slap from his back shock him. "Kai if you're like Wendy. Sana is not waiting for your apology." Unknown to his father, his son turn green when his eyes match to Sana. It change afterwards when he see the reassuring smile from her.

Kai step back from his father, and he hung his head low. "Father." He got an eye that Sana could only see and describe that painful agitation. She saw his uneven eye painted of anger and hatred not to her, but to his father comparing her to another kid. "I'm sorry, Sir." He stuttered to catch his father's eye torturing him and turned around to face her, "Sana" He stop midway during her apology to Sana.

A hand sign interrupt him as she talk to his father, she held her hand down, and took an inkling to smile for her friend, and talk to his father. "Uncle, it's an accident and Kai was helping me. Please it's my fault too." He was too shell shock to her action that he nodded to her when she said her name. "Uncle, Kai will give you the trophy today." A smile etched to the old man for Kai.

Sana is conscious to something emotionally that Kai couldn't find to believe if that's real and true.

Later on, Sana was a notorious to help everyone else to have their own love. She can say it that it's a history making in behalf turning to enhance her talent because of Kai. She was a notorious wingman or wingwoman rather that paid her a few bills to buy her art tools. It began a household name to cater a dating agency with the help of a friend she meet in her first semester to another high school she grace to be a president in a student council.

But before that it started to a mission and her alone to do something like this in a long run.

Sana was in the vicinity to research for her next target for her duty as a love guru. Even she failed her first mission because of her carelessness too. A young female girl name Jennie that was casted one of the theater actress on a play. It showcase a Romeo and Juliet she love. And one of the many reasons, why she accepted to help a friend from where she studied her freshmen to get his love. This is the last love letter she will ever send to Jennie that she wrote for Kai. 

It's her goal to bring happiness. To her it's not a mission but a story she like to be in it and a part she can be proud to shared to her brother.

A click of a foot steps, the perfume belong to Jennie that for sure she knows because of Kai. His friend from the school she had before, she transferred last year to an exchange student program for her sophomore year. She wanted it without any of her parents knowing. Before she can give up for her dream and hold to another dream her parents wanted to her.

Her initial reaction is not what she looking forward to see Sana to her. "I didn't know that you could sleep with eyes open. Strange yet appealing for a president like you reading a book in daze. Are you trouble in paradise, sugar?" A melodious sounds coming from her enchanted Sana. 

The owner of the voice was there seating opposite to Sana having a field day. 

Sana was disguise in her not so normal clothes. She wore a pair of boots, a tank top with a leather jacket, a gray contacts, her ripped jeans that was gift from her friend she encounter accidentally, and during an exchange program. To top it all she wasn't a fan of it but give in because it's gift from Rosé even she preferred a preppy fashion clothes.

The classmate she had in one of the subject she love is her. Taking a good joke to ruin her plan to know a certain raven hair girl across the backstage she volunteered to help their production play. Her cousin, pinning for an entire two years to a beautiful maiden she can understand why Kai was like that.

She closed her eyes, pinch her bridge in between of her eyebrows to reduce a churn building up for a best friend she have in her new school. "Rosé I already told you. I can't." Her exhaustion visible to the one she talked to and a face she had sporting to Rosé. "I'm not going to be your muse. I'll let you see your potential muse, if you-" Sana point an index finger to a passport size ID picture on her phone and she push to her. "As you can see, Mina is my friend, but a childhood too, that means she can be your muse... If you can stop your mumbo jumbo tactic to persuade me. Rosé?" Her friend crinkle her forehead as her mind juggling to it and walk to a place she can thought to wonder what was that. To say is, she left Sana in the room alone without knowing her friend talking to in the room isn't her.

She puffed her cheeks and breathe a deep inhale. A squeak from her friend she heard after that. "You understand me right. Is it yes or yes?" And her eyes still closed that she don't mind the strange behavior coming from Rosé.

Rosé in that process became her younger sister, a bestfriend, the significant role in her life that her childhood friend Mina don't know her secret. Except Rosé as she connect to her how she and Rosé is so much alike. Because from her point of view she may need it for a reason she may have.

A thunderstorm from outside break her thoughts of her friends.

A warm hand from her shoulder to switch on her panic attacks. "Don't be scared. I'm Joy, your joy to your life. What's your name cutie?" Sana's scream halted as she see the eyes of her muse. She dream to solve her masterpiece hidden meanings that was from her expressive eyes that so similar to her biological mother who abandoned her. "You're too cute for a badass." Sana see the meaning of her mother's three words in a difference she can't get enough.

In her peripheral vision, she could have said she is something that out of his league, because she is more than the words shee can construct. During the encounter of her first mission to help her male classmate that outside from the premise of school and bring her a nostalgic effect. The first time she saw that glint of familiar eyes she need to stare for a reason she dare to confess to her parents.

Why the girl who brings love isn't fond of having a partner to share with? She is here talking to her like she doesn't know her when she remembered her in precise eidetic memory.

Was it a specifications of a monster and curse too?

She is Joy, the girl she unravel and see the light of understanding to someone like Rosé, to her that she asked herself if she is one of them too. Joy and Rosé are not familiar to each other that makes a common sense not to say they're not blood related. Therefore, why Sana can feel there's a connection between them that she wondered about if it's because they're not searching for their other half as their contented.

She was twisted and adamant about love too, as she fall to deep in an imaginary line to her muse once again. She is drawn to the idea of her and meet by chance to that time she have knowledge of.

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And suddenly, she traveled to a time how she could say that name in different ways...

I met this one girl at the park nearby playground at early 5 o clock in the morning. Because I want to roam that place and captures the flowers that bloom on that time. After minutes of observing her at the swing set that I couldn't imagined why she doesn't swing it instead.

Rather she was there sitting still on the swing with her eyes closed that makes me wonder why she did it. I am reluctant to step closer at that place she was. But I got curious and I flipped my negative thoughts into positive ones to take a step forward nearer at her. I want to take a glimpse of her book she was reading at the near bench after she goes at the swing.

My apprehended pictures on her was the proof of that time I saw my own self on her. Noting again that her sun-glass on her face has a drizzle on the other sides with unknown moist. I realized she was like me who hides their emotion to other things.

I'll draw you, mi amour. Because I remind who I am really are when all the people was asleep. I will go after you, if ever there's a chance, a piece of a paper drawn by me can suffice what I saw.

At this point Sana knew her name for real.

Only for her to remind herself that the girl she admire back then, is the one she comfort and lend an umbrella.
 

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Unedited.