Sehun’s POV

“You alright?” I looked up and saw Chanyeol offering me a can of beer. I gladly accepted it, inviting him to sit next to me.
“Yeah. Just feeling a bit exhausted.” I told him.
“I know you’re going through a lot. I can’t say I hundred percent understand what you’re going through but I sympathize.”
“Thanks, hyung.”
“If anything, I don’t think I have properly congratulated you for securing your GPA goal for graduation.” He said, making me chuckle.
“Yeah. Thanks, hyung. Chaeri’s been a lot of help.” I confessed.
“Getting close?” He asked.
“We’re okay. We’re friends.” I told him, honestly.
“Remember when you came to the club, all angry about this situation. You said that by four months, you’d be able to get rid of her. By my calculations, we’re approaching month five. Why the change of plan?” He asked.
“Oh.” I sighed. “I forgot about that.” I said.
“You forgot or you just didn’t let it happen?” He asked. I don’t know.
“Hyung, look. I don’t know. I haven’t really given much thought about our situation for the past months. I was preoccupied with other things.” I told him.
“Hey. I know deep inside you still don’t want to continue with this and I understand. It’s a difficult place to be in but don’t force yourself to do something you don’t really want to do or something you might regret. You’re smart. I know you’ll figure things out.” He said.
“Yeah. I know.”
“Well! Cheer up, okay? Let’s join the other guys.” He said and I nodded.

Our four-day weekend getaway passed by like a breeze. It was fun and was just the much-deserved getaway that I needed. My hyungs, despite being how they are, they’re the people I could depend on the most. I’m glad that this arrangement, or at least Chaeri, wasn’t brought up anymore after the conversation I had with Chanyeol. I really don’t want any other voices trying to tell me what to do or how to do things because, honestly, at this point I’m really confused. I know Chanyeol reminds me a lot not to do something I might regret or go through something I don’t want to do in the first place.

That’s the thing. Frankly, right now, I don’t know what I don’t want.

I sat down on the hard wood floor, catching my breath and wiping my sweat. I’m back at practice with the dance team for one of our segments for the Summer Arts Festival in a few weeks. The university’s performing and arts groups put this week-long event that showcases the talents of students belonging in these groups. You see, each summer, our university celebrates its students talents and fruits of labor through a month-long summer celebration. The performing and arts groups fronts the beginning of the month-long festival. The dance team is tasked to be the highlight of the first of the three major summer events our university holds every year. After the Arts Festival, the Mid-Summer Bash is held. JMA is usually the organizing group for this. It’s basically THE party of the year for all university students even from other schools. Anybody who is anybody attends this party. Then, to cap it all off, we have the End of Summer Beach Party which culminates everything before the new semester begins.

“Let’s take a ten-minute break?” Hoseok, our team captain, announced.

“Yo! Kai just sent me his haul he’s bringing back for us.” Taeyong announced, making some of the other members flock towards him.
“I’m kind of jealous he’s on vacation.” Momo pouted.
“Wait, let’s call him.” Taeyong said and everyone scooted together.

I’m trying to ignore it since I don’t particularly care. Despite being in the same team for years, I’m not really close with him. Besides, I’d rather not think about Kwon Chaeri having a world tour with Kim Jongin for the summer. I tried to blur out their phone call with Kai while I took the break time to actually rest.

“Hey. Not in the mood to ask for souvenirs?” Daniel chuckled as he got down to sit next to me.
“Eh.” I shrugged.
“So, JMA’s party is just around the corner. Anyone in mind you’d want to go with?” He asked, probing for an answer he obviously wants to hear.
“I haven’t asked her yet, okay?” I chuckled.
“You’ve been trying to pursue Irene since last year and what, you haven’t even confessed?” He said.
“Geez, Daniel. No need to point it out.” I scoffed. “We agreed to go as a group. Does that count?”
“Pfft. No.” He laughed. “I don’t know, Sehun. The summer events would be the best choice to ask her out, you know.” He said.
“How about you, huh? Have you asked someone out to go with you to JMA’s party?”
“Ha! Of course I did.” He smirked.
“I didn’t know you liked someone.” I nudged him.
“It’s not really a ‘like’ thing. More like a special friendship. Besides, it’s been tradition of ours to go out together on our senior year of anything.” He said.
“A special friendship or a budding relationship?” I teased.
“If I knew I had a chance with her, I would have made my move ages ago. She’s meant for someone else.” He said.
“So that makes you a hero now? A martyr?” I laughed.
“The disrespect!” He chuckled.

Practice days went by and those days felt like a routine. I go to practice, maybe meet with friends outside, then go home. That’s usually the cycle. Home’s been quiet just like it was before but it felt different. Maybe it’s because I got used to having someone else around that being alone just felt like out of the normal. I lied down on my bed, tired after the day’s activities. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through so