INTERLUDE

It was Freshman year, the first time Jihan ever talked to Vicky Jang. And even though Vicky probably wouldn’t have remembered, it was a memory that has stuck with Jihan.

It wasn’t anything special, it was just Vicky staring at the cheerleader tryouts sheet stuck on the notice board. Jihan had come up next to her, looking over the sign-up sheets for anything that struck her fancy.

Jihan watched as Vicky signed her name. Her penmanship was pretty, just like she was. Rounded letters that were perfectly straight and perfectly just above the black line that she had written them on. Vicky Jang. Jihan remembered realising that she must have been Korean, too.

Vicky must have realised that Jihan was staring at the sign-up sheet, because she had pointed the pen in Jihan’s direction. Jihan was quickly shaken out of her thoughts.

“Here.” Vicky’s voice was soft but commanding. Jihan must have looked confused because Vicky’s eyebrow raised. “Are you going to sign-up?”

“M-me?” Jihan sputtered. “For cheerleading? Oh no, oh no. I’m definitely not suited for that.”

Jihan chuckled at the thought. Cheerleading definitely wasn’t her thing. She just wasn’t athletic enough for that.

Vicky stared at Jihan and her laughter stuck in .

Vicky Jang was scary.

Her eyes were intimidating, and when she stared at you it felt like she was scrutinising everything about you.

Jihan couldn’t move. She was terrified of this girl. She was the scariest thing about High School so far–

“Your smile is cheery, though?”

And then Vicky Jang was gone.

Jihan could only blink at her back as she disappeared down the hallway.

………………………

It was sophomore year, the first time Jihan ever talked to Yujin Ahn.

She did remember having her in a few of her classes, but they never talked. Jihan always sat near the front of the class while Yujin enjoyed sitting somewhere in the middle back.

Jihan had a feeling that the two of them would never have talked if it weren’t for Jiheon.

Jiheon had dragged Yujin Ahn towards Jihan with a big smile on her face, excited to show her another Korean in the school.

“Yujin says she likes Enozi, the band.”

Jihan had lit up when she heard Jiheon say that.

“Really?” Jihan beamed towards Yujin who seemed to refuse to meet her eyes. “I adore Enozi!! I actually got to see them live in concert last year!”

Yujin cracked a smile, a bright-dimpled smile, and Jihan couldn’t help but feel like that smile looked a little bit familiar.

……………………….

Practices without Wonyoung were gloomy. Granted, this was their first practice ever without her and it would also be their last practice as Battle of the Bands was the next day.

It was harder to focus without Wonyoung, so it was a good thing they already knew everything inside and out.

“So….” Jihan said once they were walking home. Instead of hitching a ride home, she opted to walk home with Yujin. She said it was because she wanted to hang out with Yujin, but really she wanted to find out what was going on with Vicky.

There was no way that Vicky Jang would miss their last rehearsal before Battle of the Bands. At least unless something happened.

But one thing about Jihan was that she could never quite find it in herself to say what she wanted to say, or ask what she wanted to ask.

And so, the two of them walked in mostly silence, though there was small talk every now and again about Enozi’s comeback, and how they’re excited for what type of concept would be next. And then, quiet again.

Soon enough, the two had made it to Yujin’s convenience store. Jihan lived a few blocks away, about 20 minutes walking distance from Yujin’s house. That was one of the reasons why Jiheon had asked Yujin to learn the dance for the festival instead of her. Originally, Jihan had called Jiheon begging for her help, but Jiheon lived about 2 and a half hours away and she was quite busy.

“Jihan?”

Yujin finally called out her name as she was about to leave, their silence broken.

“Yes?”

“When I told you that I liked you, how did you feel?”

“I thought you were sweet.” Jihan beamed. “It made me really happy. Like… wow… I must be cute!”

Then she furrowed her eyebrows. That was something Yujin was so grateful for when it came to Jihan. Her face was so expressive.

Now that she thought about it, Jihan was literally everything she looked for in a person.

A sweet girl. Always ready to help anybody. Compassionate. Cute, too, like a puppy. Bright smile and an all-around likeable and good person. Jihan was an open book that Yujin could easily read, even from afar because she knows this book inside and out without having to read it too deeply.

“Do you still like me?”

Yujin eyed Jihan’s perplexed face. Wow, was Yujin liking her that bad of an idea?

“U-um… well, kinda? Like not as much as before but… a little bit? I don’t wanna, like, date you, though!” Yujin quickly said.

Jihan’s face pouted. “You don’t want to date me?”

“No! I mean yes! Wait, wait let me explain. Sorry. Sorry, sorry.” This was the most Yujin had talked the entire day. “As in, I don’t wanna date you, like you and I? Dating. I don’t mean it as in you’re undateable, does that make sense? Like I have a little crush on you but I think it’s just that. You know? Sorry.”

Jihan looked just as stressed as Yujin did right now. Both of them had their eyes furrowed like a worried puppy. One puppy was just smaller than the other.

“No no! Sorry! I get you! Sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out!”

“N-no, you didn’t freak me out, I know you didn’t mean it. Besides it sounds like you don’t want to date me, too.”

“Yes, you’re right- but not because you’re undateable! It’s because of Lachie!”

“What? Does he like me?”

“Wait, he does?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you?”

“No, no. I’m the one that likes Lachie!”

It was quite funny how similar the two of them were. Puppies who were angels. Puppy angels. Angel puppies.

This was actually Yujin’s first time hanging out with Jihan alone. There was the time that she came over while Wonyoung was away during Texas but Yena was there, too. It was kind of cute how much Yena and Jihan got along. They were both the same MBTI type.

Well, actually, she and Jihan had that talk while Yena went down to the convenience store to find ingredients.

“I’m glad you don’t want to date me, not because I don’t want to date you but because… well, I like someone else.” Jihan said after the two of them were able to calm down.

“Lachie.” Yujin looked back to all the times Jihan and Lachie interacted and she didn’t know how she wasn’t able to notice, usually she was quite good at keeping an eye on Jihan. She was always looking at her, anyway. Though, lately because she’s been preoccupied with Battle of the Bands and the arrangement with Wonyoung she hasn’t been able to pay attention to Jihan as much as she used to. “Does anyone else know?”

Jihan shook her head. “No. But, I trust you. And it’s only fair. You told me about your secret crush and I’ll tell you about mine.”

“But, my secret crush was you!” Yujin laughed.

Jihan couldn’t help but laugh along with Yujin everytime the girl laughed. Her laughter was just contagious.

“This is a mess.” Jihan giggled happily.

“We’re both kind of a mess.” Yujin nodded.

“It’s not my fault I overthink too much!”

“Same!”

“I can never make decisions on my own.” Jihan pouted.

“Right?” Yujin shook her hands with her eyes wide open. “I just never know what’s the right thing to do. I don’t want to do the wrong thing.”

“Yes yes yes.” Jihan nodded furiously. “Or make somebody angry.”

Yujin and Jihan looked at each other and chuckled.

“You know? I’ve always thought the two of us are similar.” Yujin said to Jihan.

“I get that. I feel like you’re a mirror of myself.” Jihan looked Yujin head to toe before adding, “a very tall mirror.”

“Yeah.” Yujin studied Jihan amusedly. “You remind me of me when I was younger.”

“Wha- Yujin you’re only a year older than me!”

As Jihan and Yujin laughed outside the convenience store, Yujin couldn’t help but think that Jihan was a perfect match for her. Jiheon had even said a few times that the two of them fit well. Well, technically, one of them was during her dream but it still counts. Jihan was the textbook perfect match for Yujin, she ticked all the boxes.

“Yujin.” 

So, why couldn’t Yujin stop thinking about Wonyoung?

“Unnie.”

Like right now, it felt like Yujin could hear Wonyoung’s voice.

“Vicky! H-hi!”

Yujin’s head swung to the side. Sure enough, there she was.

Wonyoung was standing outside the door of her convenience store, an unreadable expression on her face.

Why was it that whenever Wonyoung was staring at her like this Yujin felt incapable of doing anything? Like she’d forget to speak. She felt  open but nothing came out. Good thing that Wonyoung was the one that spoke first.

“Yujin, can we talk?”

…………………..

It was junior year when Jihan first got to know Vicky Jang and Yujin Ahn. She realised that she admired both of them equally. Because, one had everything that she lacked, and the other? The other one felt familiar.





......................



A/N: hello hello hello! 

I know this probably isn't what you were hoping for, especially if you've waited this long... heheh. I just felt that I needed to add this in here to give some more insight on Yujin and Jihan's characters and their relationship. This was actually the beginning of the next chapter but there's too much to write and I thought I'd like to just at least get something out there while I'm working on the next chapter. 

But um.. here's a little preview of the next chapter <3 Thank you so much for reading and commenting and supporting this story! Writing this story brings me a lot of joy and knowing that people are reading it and enjoying it is just the icing on the cake! 




step twelve (preview)

Yujin wasn’t really a fan of the cold. 



Don’t get her wrong, she liked winter and cold weather but she didn’t like the feeling of being cold. When she and Yena had to share rooms during trips Yena would always complain that the room was way too hot. Meanwhile, the moment Yujin felt a breeze she would not be able to fall asleep until she couldn’t feel it anymore. 



But, strangely enough, there was one time where Yujin loved the feeling of being cold.



Here she was, her feet dangling over the edge of a diving board. She faced straight ahead of her, eyeing the way the pool stretched out in front of her. She stared at the water below her.



Then she dove. 



She didn’t know if her technique was impeccable or not. Frankly she didn’t care. 



She let her body float down to the bottom of the pool. Then she sat cross legged, staring up at the water. Some breath bubbles floated up. 



Yujin just stared. Up at the ceiling, the lights reflecting against the water and causing strange shapes. 



She focused on the feeling of being surrounded by water. She focused on the feeling of her goggles sticking to her head. She probably should loosen them later, they were feeling a little tight. 



She lifted a hand and started swaying it through the water, her fingers apart. The water pushed against her hand while at the same time slipped through the cracks between each finger. 



She felt her heart start to beat against her chest, getting louder and aggressive the more Yujin held her breath. 



Her chest was pounding. Her lungs were screaming at her and Yujin knew that it was time to start her journey back up the pool. It was only 2 metres deep, and Yujin was quite close to 2 metres in height anyways, so she didn’t have to rush. 



She let herself float to the surface, slowly. Her lungs were still screaming, like there was something inside her banging against her chest and begging to be let out. Yujin let them bang and scream some more. 



Dammit, Yujin, is what it sounded like they were screaming. 



She kept underwater until she could not take it any longer and she pushed her head out of the water,  prying itself open and she gasped for air. 



All the while her brain was telling her that ‘Air! Air! We need air to survive!’



But, Yujin didn’t hear any of that. 



Instead she was listening to her heart. Her heart was crying out with the same amount of anguish, the same amount of pain that her lungs were crying with, too. 



They were screaming one thing. 



‘Love her, Yujin. Why can’t you love her?’ 



Yujin clung onto the lane ropes and it was then that she realised that she was crying. 



‘She just wants to be loved.’ Yujin cried into the water. Her tears started to mix with the pool water. ‘Jang Wonyoung just wants to be loved, Dammit!’



Yujin balled her hands into a fist and dove underwater once more. 



I want to love Jang Wonyoung. 



Yujin let out a yell of frustration under water. 



She wanted to love Jang Wonyoung, so bad. Why did she still feel so confused about her own feelings? 



Yujin resurfaced. 



Then she swam. And she swam and swam. And she didn’t stop. 



It was a pool, but to Yujin it felt like she was swimming in open water. She was swimming further and further away every time her arm  through the water. 



Swim away.