Almost forgot to mention, you can live tweet ur reactions with #TUIMVickyjin if you wanna!!! 

 

Step eleven point seventy-five: Fearless

 

Yujin wasn’t quite as perceptive as her friend Jiheon Baek. Mostly because she didn’t like the feeling of assuming things. She never liked grey areas. If someone wanted something or wanted to tell her something they would just tell her. 

 

But, still, it was hard not to notice this. 

 

Tuesday morning. 

 

She was talking to Jiheon by the coke machine, the other girl was updating Yujin on her potential college choices for the future. Jiheon had dropped her coin, bending down to fish it out from under the coke machine. 

 

“Good morning, unnie.” 

 

Wonyoung’s voice was soft from behind her. Yujin had turned around to see Wonyoung walking towards her, a seemingly blank look on her face which Yujin knew was just her resting face. In fact, Yujin knew that Wonyoung was feeling content. 

 

All Yujin could do was smile at her before Wonyoung placed a hand onto Yujin’s shoulder and pecked her on her lips. 

 

Yujin wasn’t even given enough time to react to that, because Wonyoung was giggling and leaning in once again. This time, she was moving at a slower pace and Yujin fluttered her eyes closed to receive the kiss. She felt her back hit the coke machine while trying to steady herself. 

 

Wonyoung has pretty lashes, was Yujin’s last thoughts before their lips had connected once more. 

 

A few moments later, her next thought was that she was completely mortified by the teasing smirk that Jiheon was giving her. 

 

Then, Tuesday lunch period, Yujin was sitting on the table with the rest of the band when she felt someone behind her placing a hand on her shoulder and leaning down to kiss her cheek. 

 

Wonyoung had asked Yujin during that lunch if she was going to eat her banana (Yujin wasn’t a fan of bananas because of the texture) and had smiled and bent down to place a short peck onto Yujin’s lips when she said she could have the fruit. 

 

And then she was off, leaving Yujin watching her back while she sauntered back to the cheerleading tables. 

 

“You look like my apple, ‘Jin.” Lachie held up his rosy red apple with a smirk and Jihan’s laughter echoed around the cafeteria. 

 

After Tuesday’s practice Yujin was sure that Yena was ready to go into cardiac arrest. Yena drove the two of them to their house because Wonyoung wanted to buy some ingredients from their store. 

 

And when Wonyoung had pecked Yujin on the lips before climbing into the car with Michael, Yena’s entire life flashed before her eyes. Honestly, so did Yujin’s only because she was so sure Yena’s scream was enough to shatter her brain. 

 

The Wednesday school day was less eventful seeing how the two barely saw each other the entire day. 

 

Wednesday practice— or more like outfit fitting since the materials Wonyoung had ordered arrived that day— was quite eventful, to say the least. 

 

They had the fitting at Wonyoung’s house (or mini mansion as Yujin liked to call it) and Yujin had stayed later so that the two could study their English readings together and hopefully watch another Korean movie later on. Yujin really wanted Wonyoung to watch Parasite. 

 

Safe to say, Yujin did not know if she could ever face Wonyoung’s Yaya ever again. 

 

Honestly, she could tell that Wonyoung also didn’t want to face her Yaya ever again, too. 

 

It had started off with this sentence from Wonyoung.

 

“Yujin Ahn, you better delete that photo or I am going to accidentally cut your Battle of the Bands shirt on the midriff right before your performance so it turns into a crop top and you will have no choice but to wear it or go .” 

 

And then they were kissing after Yujin defiantly said that she would wear it with her puke green hoodie that she knew Wonyoung still had in her locker because she had seen her wearing it one day when she spilled chocolate milk all over her clothes. 

 

How they got to kissing is quite irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, but it’s safe to assume that it happened after the conversation escalated to Yujin using the scoff-and-say- And? What are you going to do about it? Kiss me?-card. It’s also more than safe to assume that Wonyoung did in fact kiss her, mostly because she was being irritating but also because she couldn’t help it! Yujin was addicting like that. 

 

“Victoria? Michael said he needs to-- ay gulay! Hi, Yujin. ”

 

After that, Yujin called her sister and begged her to pick her up. 

 

Though, Wonyoung’s Yaya didn’t really say anything. But, her shocked expression and her cackle that both Wonyoung and Yujin heard down the hall was enough to make the two of them want to sink into a large ball of nothing. 

 

“I think I aged 5 years in just this week alone.” Yujin said after Wonyoung and Yujin were sitting there in complete and utter silence. She glanced at Wonyoung who seemed to still be processing what just happened, her entire face and her ears still red. 

 

“Can I eat dinner with you tonight? And can I stay over? You know what, can I just live with you, now?” Wonyoung said while staring at the wall in disbelief. “I don’t think I can ever face Yaya ever again.” 

 

That was saying a lot, seeing how Wonyoung had dealt with way more embarrassing things with her Yaya before. This was the lady who washed her pants for her when she was 7 because she peed herself in school getting excited over the farm animals that came to visit her school. The lady who had found out when Wonyoung had her first ever period because she had come to school with fresh underwear and pants for Wonyoung and then instantly washed the blood stained clothes the moment she came home. 

 

“I blame you!” Rosy-cheeked Wonyoung hit Yujin’s shoulder with narrowed eyes. 

 

“Me?” Yujin said. “You’re the one who kissed me in the first place?” 

 

“All you had to do was delete the photo! So, stubborn!” 

 

“I’m a virgo!”

 

“Well, so am I.” Wonyoung huffed and crossed her arms. “And I say that it’s still your fault.” 

 

“Again, Wonyoung.” Yujin mirrored her expression. “You were the one who kissed me in the first place!” 

 

“Well, you were the one that let me kiss you!” 

 

……………………………………..

 

Later that night, Wonyoung was sitting on the couch with a make-up tutorial playing on the TV for white noise. She had just finished calling her Mom in Korea. Her Mom was asking her if she had any Christmas plans yet. 

 

Currently, Wonyoung was scrolling through her instagram feed, smiling softly to herself when she saw the pictures that she and Yujin had taken a few days ago. Yujin was so awkward, but so photogenic. She just needed the confidence booster. 

 

Wonyoung paused when she saw the picture she had taken right before they kissed in Yujin’s bedroom and her cheeks started to blush when she remembered it. Yujin wasn’t even here but she still made Wonyoung’s heart beat faster. 

 

“I’m so gross.” Wonyoung shivered. She never thought that she’d ever act this way towards a crush before. 

 

She never thought she’d ever like girls before, either. 

 

Growing up, she was always boy crazy. She especially liked the boys that were popular, because it was an ego and a status booster when they liked her too. Wonyoung’s first ever boyfriend was in first year middle school and he was the tallest guy in the grade at the time (none of the other boys had hit puberty yet). Wonyoung herself wasn’t quite tall yet, she didn’t have her growth spurt until the year after. Of course, their relationship only lasted about a month or so before they grew sick of each other. Wonyoung moved pretty quickly to a new guy though, a boy from the soccer team who had started snapchatting her as soon as she and the first boy broke up. 

 

Honestly, her routine of dating guys carried on throughout middle school as well as into High School, though the High School relationships always lasted at least a few months instead of six weeks. And also, Wonyoung had her fair share of rejections. None of them were too heartbreaking, though.

 

She’s never cried over a boy before. Just got mad. Because, what boy had the audacity and ego to try and cross Vicky Jang?

 

The only time Wonyoung could remember ever being remotely attracted to a girl was Freshman year when the seniors were performing the cheerleading routine during the football grand finals. She was in awe of the head cheerleader, Elle, and she remembered feeling her heart beating just a little faster every time she had passed her in the hall after that day. She was always starstruck by her. As if Elle was a celebrity. Elle was probably one of the reasons why Wonyoung got into cheerleading in the first place. 

 

Wonyoung looked up Elle’s instagram to jog her memory of what she looked like.

 

“Hmm…” Wonyoung hummed to herself. She enlarged the photo of Elle’s bright smile. It seemed that she was now working in fashion business. 

 

…maybe Wonyoung did have a teensy bit of a crush on her back then. 

 

If Wonyoung were to be honest with herself, she probably had a slight crush on Ashley, too. But, Wonyoung was dating Jacob and Ashley is dating a college boy, so she never really felt the need to ponder over the thought. 

 

Oh, there was also Ryujin Shin. Wonyoung probably also had a mini crush on her, too. She had always found her cool whenever she watched her perform with Jacob and honestly, sometimes she’d find her eyes wandering towards Ryujin playing the bass instead of her boyfriend. She was so charismatic and cool and Wonyoung couldn’t help but watch her. Her piercing was so awesome and really attractive, kind of like Oriana’s in the grade above her. Speaking of Oriana, she was really cute too and so was her friend Mariana and-- 

 

Oh… maybe Wonyoung DID like girls. 

 

She sat up straighter on her couch, the revelation suddenly hitting her. 

 

“Wow. I think I might be bi.” Wonyoung chuckled to herself. She leaned back into the couch while nodding to herself. “Cool.” 

 

She made a mental note to talk to her Mom about it later. Or not. It didn’t matter if she knew or not, anyways. She was busy with her life in Korea with her wife. 

 

Wonyoung felt her phone buzz and saw that Yujin had posted on her insta story. Wonyoung smiled to herself when she remembered that Yujin had remembered her instructions. 

 

It was a photo of Yujin at her desk, her chin resting on her hand. She captioned the picture with ‘writing…’ and a winking face. 

 

The band had decided to go with Yujin’s original song that she had finished writing a couple of days ago. It was a cute song about girls just wanting to get tangled up in fun. 

 

She shot Yujin a quick text to let her know that she did well in posting it. Not even seconds later, Yujin had promptly responded. That was something Wonyoung noticed about Yujin. Though she wasn’t glued to her phone, she was always good at replying to people. Meanwhile with Wonyoung, for someone so obsessed with her phone she would leave people ignored for hours. Not Yujin though. Never Yujin. Even before she started liking her, when they had just started their arrangement. 

 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

So….

Did ur Yaya say anything?

 

Wonyoung groaned at the reminder of what had happened. She could still feel the embarrassment from the moment that had happened hours ago. Luckily, her Yaya didn’t bring it up while eating dinner. She had just played a Filipino movie on the TV and the two watched it together. 

 

Wonyoung to Yujin: 

No 

but i could hear her thoughts 

A lot of laughter in there 

 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

Ugh the worst 

I understand u 

It was the same with Yena unnie the other day 

Thanks a lot for that by the way 

 

Wonyoung giggled when she remembered the way that Yena’s eyes had almost bulged out of her sockets. She had gotten a flurry of texts from Yujin in panic because Yena would not stop teasing her the entire night. Wonyoung did feel a tiny bit bad, but the whole situation was honestly just incredibly hilarious to her. 

 

Yujin to Wonyoung:

U know what i don’t feel bad for u anymore 

This is payback 

Who in the right mind would kiss me in front of YENA UNNIE 

 

Wonyoung to Yujin: 

Didn’t you say I could kiss you whenever? 

 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

It’s YENA UNNIE 

If you think ur Yaya is bad…

Unnie still makes kissy faces at me everywhere I go

I’m going to hate crime her 

Actually does it count as a hate crime if i’m also a lesbian 

Don’t answer that I’m thinking out loud again 

It’s not really a question lol

 

Wonyoung slapped at her cheek when she realised how wide her smile was getting. Yujin tended to ramble a lot when they texted. Like a lot. Whenever they called, Yujin spoke significantly less and Wonyoung found that she’d usually be the one that would lead the conversation. She didn’t mind though, she liked doing it. But, whenever they texted Wonyoung could just sit back and relax and let Yujin take the lead. 

 

 

Wonyoung to Yujin: 

Actually unnie? 

I have my own question

 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

Sure 

What’s up?

 

Over at Yujin’s house she was sat cross-legged on her chair, elbows resting on her desk and phone held in both hands. She eyed the dots that signaled that Wonyoung was typing. She seemed to be typing for longer than usual and Yujin wondered if she was writing an essay. 

 

Wonyoung to Yujin: 

Ur fine with me kissing you right? 

 

That was way shorter than Yujin had expected it to be. The question itself was also unexpected. Yujin chuckled to herself while writing the next words.
 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

u of all ppl should know that i’d tell u if i wasn’t 

But if it gives you piece of mind 

It’s fine with me 

 

Wonyoung to Yujin: 

Why? 

Why is it fine with you?

 

Yujin furrowed her eyebrows. Mostly because she couldn’t figure out what Wonyoung’s angle was but also because she didn’t really know how to answer that. She never really thought about it before. She just let her kiss her because she wasn’t opposed to it. 

 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

What do you mean? 

 

Wonyoung to Yujin: 

Ah it’s nothing 

Nvm just forget it hehe

 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

Wait no 

Is something up? 

You’ve been acting strange these past couple of days 

Like i said i’m fine with you kissing me 

But like… why? 

And don’t say it’s because I’m cute 

Cause I’m cute everyday hehehe 

 

Wonyoung to Yujin: 

Nerd 

If i kissed you everyday would you still let me, then? 

 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

Ofc wonyoung i just said i’m fine with it 

 

Wonyoung to Yujin: 

But why are you fine with it? 

Why do you let me kiss you, Yujin? 

 

Yujin’s fingers hovered the keyboard, her eyes roaming over the words. Why did she let Wonyoung kiss her so much? Especially when she’s not really the type for physical contact. 

 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

Because you want to kiss me? 

So i’m letting you do it

Why do YOU kiss me?

 

Across town, Wonyoung also stared at her phone screen, her fingers hovering hesitantly over the keyboard. She carefully typed in the next words.

 

Wonyoung to Yujin: 

Because sometimes I can’t control myself around you, Yujin

 

It was hell. Wonyoung watched with bated breath as the dots on Yujin’s screen kept typing. She wasn’t sure where her confidence had come from. 

 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

So ur saying I’m a good kisser?? Hehe 

 

No. That’s not what Wonyoung was saying. Well, yes, she was a good kisser. But, that wasn’t the point Wonyoung was trying to raise. 

 

Wonyoung to Yujin:

Good night unnie 🙄 

You and ur ego

 

Suddenly, Wonyoung was interrupted by a text from someone she did not expect. 

 

It was a name she was so used to seeing everyday. Seeing that name was a routine to her before, like clockwork it would pop up on her phone every morning with a good morning text and an ETA. 

 

Wonyoung didn’t know how she felt seeing that name again. 

 

Jacob to Vicky: 

Hey Vicky

 

Wonyoung didn’t open the notification, her phone still open to hers and Yujin’s conversation. Yujin had texted her back, complaining that she did not have an ego but then proceeded to tell her about a random trope she had read about called ‘Doppelbanger’ that Wonyoung was not in the right mind to listen to its absurdities. 

 

Wonyoung to Yujin: 

Unnie 

Jacob just texted me

 

Wonyoung turned off the TV where the YouTube video she was watching had turned into a tutorial on how to use cute face stickers in your make-up looks. Olivia Rodrigo inspired, no doubt. 

 

To make up for the white noise, she put her Spotify playlists on shuffle, thinking how scary it was that the first song that played was Olivia Rodrigo right after she thought about her. 

 

Walking up the staircase to her room, she pocketed her phone, waiting patiently for it to buzz again. 

 

It wasn’t until she made it to her bathroom and was wiping off her make-up when she felt it buzz again. Quickly, she lifted her phone out of her pocket with the hand that wasn’t holding the make-up remover. 

 

Jacob to Vicky: 

You going to the party on Friday? 

 

Wonyoung sighed. That wasn’t the person she wanted to see. As if she could feel her thinking about her, the person finally replied to her. 

 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

OMG 

that’s a good thing, right? 

 

Wonyoung’s jaw clenched, unknowingly. 

 

Wonyoung to Yujin: 

Why is that? 

 

Wonyoung loved the way that Yujin texted sometimes because she could always imagine her voice in her texts, the way her smooth voice enunciated every syllable with the ever so-slightest accent. Yujin always said that she and Yena sometimes felt that they were too Korean to feel fully American while in Korea they felt too American to be Korean and that transferred to their way of talking in both languages. 

 

But, in this moment, Wonyoung hated the fact that she could imagine her so well because not only could she hear her voice, but she could imagine the excited look on Yujin’s face. 

 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

Wonyoungie 

that’s what you wanted, right???

 

It was excitement mixed with a sense of pride. Yujin hadn’t told Wonyoung this but Wonyoung could tell by the way that Yujin would brag about her achievements to everyone that she was incredibly proud of everything that Wonyoung did. 

 

She found it funny how Yujin claimed that one of Wonyoung’s special traits was her ability to believe in her when no one else did. Because, that was one of the top things that Wonyoung adored about Yujin. Yujin had told her that she trusts her and her judgement, because Wonyoung was a reliable person and she was confident in her abilities to do things. 

 

For once in her life, she did not like that Yujin was proud of her. 

 

Wonyoung to Yujin: 

What the hell is that supposed to mean? 

 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

Jacob’s literally going to be begging on his knees for you soon 

Did you text him back??? 

Or are you going to play hard to get

 

Wonyoung to Yujin: 

You don’t get it, do you? 

 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

Get what? 

U mean like how flirting works? 

Sorry i’ve never really been in a relationship before

 

Sometimes, Yujin was so frustrating.

 

 

Yujin to Wonyoung

Well, except for you but you don’t count cause we’re only fake LOL

 

Wonyoung’s grip tightened on her phone, reality hitting her hard. 

 

They were fake. 

 

If Wonyoung were to be completely honest, ever since she went over to Yujin’s house to cook with her, she’s sort of forgotten that they were fake. That they weren’t the real thing. Which was crazy, because Vicky Jang never forgot things. 

 

But, then again, around Ahn Yujin she was just Jang Wonyoung. And Ahn Yujin made her do and feel things she doesn’t normally do. Vicky Jang never cried, but Jang Wonyoung cried for Ahn Yujin. Vicky Jang never apologised, but Jang Wonyoung apologised to Ahn Yujin. Vicky Jang never fell in love, but Jang Wonyoung fell completely head over heels for Ahn Yujin. 

 

Yujin to Wonyoung: 

Hello? 

Where’d you go? 

You texting Jacob? 😏

What did he say? 

Is it going to plan?

 

Wonyoung let out a groan of frustration, ready to pull her hair out. She chose not to reply yet, letting her calm down a little bit before she accidentally said something she didn’t really mean. She didn’t want to hurt Yujin again, especially over something so trivial like this that Yujin had no control over. 

 

Wonyoung was about to reply to Yujin, to tell her that she hadn’t texted Jacob yet and to ask for her advice when a particular song came on. A song from Yujin’s playlist that she made for her. 

 

Yujin had told her that she was fearless. Which was sort of true and sort of not true. Wonyoung realised very early on in High School that she just simply did not care about things.

 

It was hard to be scared of something that had no emotional leverage over her whatsoever. The only thing she truly cared about was doing well in cheerleading, only because she didn’t want to let down the rest of the team. Either than that, she just went through High School, studying and doing her assignments and if she got a good grade, that’s great! And if she didn’t, then she didn’t and she’d improve on it to get better. 

 

Then she met Yujin. Hearing from other people that she did well was nice to hear, but hearing it from Yujin? It was different with her. Because Wonyoung cared about her in a way that she has never cared about anyone before in her life. 

 

Perhaps then, it was safe to say that Vicky Jang was never scared, but Jang Wonyoung was scared of Ahn Yujin. She was scared of hurting her, scared of disappointing her, scared of losing her. Jang Wonyoung was terrified of Ahn Yujin, and that excited her usually cold heart. 

 

Wonyoung made her decision then. 

 

She clicked on Yujin’s contact and called her. Lifting the phone to her ear she listened to the rings. 

 

“Wonyoung-ah,” Yujin’s smiling voice was raspy and a little bit muffled. 

 

“I know it’s getting late,” Wonyoung tried not to smile at Yujin’s cute sleepy voice, “I just really need to see you right now.” 

 

There was some rustling sounds as Wonyoung assumed that Yujin was sitting up from her bed. She could hear a slight yawn coming from Yujin and Wonyoung assumed that she was stretching after laying down for so long. It was something she did after taking naps or after sitting on the couch for a long time. 

 

“Are you okay?” Yujin’s voice was a little more alert now. “Did something happen?” 

 

“I’m fine, unnie.” Wonyoung said. “Can I come see you? Please?” 

 

………………………

 

“I feel like I’m getting a sense of déjà vu.” Yujin placed a hand on her temple.

 

“Why? Cause I was just here a few hours ago?”

 

“No- well yes, that too. But no, that’s not what I was referring to.” Yujin hummed. “Do you want tea, by the way? I always drink some before bed.” 

 

“I’m okay.” Wonyoung was stiff. And though Yujin wasn’t the best at being perceptive of things, what she was good at was feeling when someone was not feeling okay. Something was definitely up with Wonyoung. 

 

“Are you though?” Yujin eyed her tense shoulders. “You don’t seem okay. Is something wrong?” 

 

Wonyoung shook her head. For someone who was so confident on the way here she was now absolutely terrified and could not bring herself to utter a word. 

 

“You’re shaking.” Yujin quickly made her way over to Wonyoung. Wonyoung felt her grabbing her hand to lead her towards her bed. “Come, sit.” 

 

“I’m wearing outside clothes.” Wonyoung finally said something. Albeit it had nothing to do with what she wanted to tell Yujin. 

 

“I don't care." Yujin said. "Just tell me what's wrong." 

 

“I-” Wonyoung was trying to let the words come out of . She had rehearsed what to say on the way there but she had no idea what to say. 

 

“Did Jacob do something?” Yujin’s voice was soft. God, Wonyoung was so conflicted right now. On one hand, she was annoyed that Yujin still had the thought that Jacob was still in the picture but on the other, her caring voice made Wonyoung’s heart melt. 

 

“No, he didn’t.” Wonyoung said. “I- Yujin, I’m kind of a mess right now and I don’t know why. Well, I know why but I just don’t understand why I’m feeling like this.” 

 

Wonyoung’s lifted her hands, watching the way that they were shaking and she almost laughs at how ridiculous she was being right now. 

 

They both sat in silence for a few moments while Wonyoung regained her thoughts, at least tried to. But, Yujin was right there and she didn’t know what to do with herself. Should she just tell her straight up? No, that would scare Yujin too much. She has to ease it in for her. 

 

“Do you want to play Mario Kart?” Yujin’s gaze wasn’t on her but on the floor, though her hand was on top of Wonyoung’s and rubbing circles over her wrist. 

 

Wonyoung nodded. 

 

“Yes.” 

 

There was something therapeutic about playing Mario Kart with just Yujin when both of them aren’t being competitive. Yujin had turned off items and the two were just racing round the courses, only focusing on getting the right turns and handling the cars right. There was nothing else at that moment. Just two girls pressing buttons on the controller and the cars spinning round the course. 

 

Wonyoung almost didn’t notice the way that Yujin would stop every now and again to let her catch up. For once, her mind was only thinking about one thing and one thing only, controlling the car so that it wouldn’t fly off the track. 

 

She found herself wishing that she could be a car for a moment, mindlessly following the directions and instructions of a driver. The driver would want to turn right so they will spin the steering wheel towards the right which in turn makes the tires also turn right and directs the car towards that direction. She chuckled to herself when she realised that that was kind of her dynamic with Yujin. 

 

But, alas. She wasn’t a car. She was always the driver. The driver was the one who made the decisions. Wonyoung always made her own decisions. 

 

Or did she? 

 

Because, right now, Wonyoung was feeling like a car. She was just torn on whether the driver was her heart or her mind right now. 

 

“Jacob keeps texting you.” Yujin’s eyes were still on the screen. Wonyoung glanced towards her phone that was on the table and sure enough, she had gotten another text from Jacob. He must have been desperate. 

 

Wonyoung didn’t respond to Yuijn’s statement nor Jacob’s text. She didn’t even move from where she was sitting on the couch. Instead, she straightened her posture and sat properly, positioning her body a bit forward on the couch. Next to her, Yujin was sat cross-legged, her back slouched against the backrest. 

 

“Wonyoung?” 

 

Oh, how Wonyoung loved the way Yujin said her name. 

 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you.” 

 

Yujin started a new race. 

 

Wonyoung waited for the right time to press start, just like she had learnt before. She was pretty proud of how it was second nature to her now. 

 

“Why are we still fake dating?” 

 

Wonyoung’s fingers froze over the acceleration button. 

 

All the cars started to move, leaving Wonyoung behind the start line. Her car was unmoving, Wonyoung’s hand still frozen on the controller. 

 

“I heard that Jacob and Mikayla broke up ages ago. And I know you did, too.” 

 

Yujin let go of the accelerator, letting the CPU cars pass her. She kept her eyes trained on the screen. 

 

“Wonyoung. Why did we continue to fake date?” 

 

Wonyoung shakily pressed the accelerator, focusing on her breaths. 

 

“I... I just..." 

Wonyoung expertly manouvres her car. 

 

"I didn’t want it to stop.” 

 

There were a few moments of silence between the two, the only sounds being the music playing from the game and the sounds of the cars driving. Wonyoung had caught up to Yujin’s spot by then and had overtaken her. Yujin took that as her cue to press on the accelerator once more. 

 

“There was a point in time, where holding your hand stopped being about who saw me doing it.”

 

Wonyoung’s eyes glanced over to Yujin’s hands on her controller. They were the only body parts of Yujin that she could see at the moment. They were hanging over the couch and over her crossed legs. 

 

“It turned into me holding your hand because I just wanted to. Crazy. I had no other ulterior motive. I just wanted to hold your hand.” 

 

She glanced again at Yujin’s hands on the controller, watching the way her thumb navigated the joystick, her index finger pressing the drift button every time she made a turn. The other index finger was hovered over the item button. 

 

“And there was a point in time where I started wanting to be around you, like,” Wonyoung scoffed, mostly at herself, “all the time.” 

 

Wonyoung paused, choosing her next words carefully. 

 

“Because I like being around you. I like the feeling of holding your hand. I like it when you listen to me. I like it when you talk about your day. I like it when you tell me random things.” 

 

Wonyoung kept her eyes trained on the screen, too scared to even glimpse at Yujin’s direction. 

 

“I just… I like…” Wonyoung trailed off, freezing. “I just like it a lot.” 

 

Wonyoung was always a fan of silence. It always gave her time to think. She could collect her thoughts, her many thoughts that she accumulated over the past few days and make sense of them. Silence help her to see things clearly. 

 

The only problem was that silence was usually something you would only get when you were alone. And that could get pretty lonely. 

Until Yujin came into her life. Many times, the two would sit in complete silence and do their own things. That was one of the reasons why Wonyoung always would hang out with Yujin at her shop, because whenever there weren’t customers around it was quite a peaceful atmosphere. She could just… breathe. 

 

Maybe that was why Yujin reminded Wonyoung of a tree. Either than the fact that they were tall, Yujin had a lot in common with trees. Firstly, they were sturdy. Trees never changed. They were firmly planted to the ground, never swaying and only faltering over the strongest of things. Perhaps a hurricane. Or a saw. Secondly, trees provided shade. Wonyoung loved sitting under trees and relaxing. But, most of all, trees provided oxygen. And Wonyoung swears that without Yujin, it would be hard for her to breathe. Without Yujin, Wonyoung would just keep going through life while holding her breath just because she never had the time to stop and breathe. 

 

Silence with Yujin was Wonyoung’s comfort. It was how Wonyoung could grow. 

 

But, right now? Yujin’s silence felt like a stab to her chest. 

 

Wonyoung bit her lip, willing herself not to utter another word until Yujin said something. 

 

She was waiting for Yujin to say anything. Literally anything at all. A rejection? Or that she felt the same way? Or that she didn’t mind that Wonyoung felt this way? Whatever. As long as Yujin said something. 

 

And just like that the Grand Prix they were playing ended with Yujin winning, unsurprisingly. Wonyoung felt Yujin exhale a deep breath. 

 

Then she waited for Yujin’s response.  

 

It never came. 

 

All Yujin did was select a different Grand Prix, changing it to 6 races instead of 4. And the two played again, not uttering a word. 

 

Yujin did not say a single word. Not even as Wonyoung got into the car with Michael.  

 

And for some reason, that was the most painful thing Yujin has ever done to Wonyoung. 

 

…………………………

 

The next morning, when Wonyoung had to use the bathroom on the first floor, she caught sight of Yujin using the coke machine. Which wasn’t really weird in any way. Especially with Jiheon next to her. 

 

But, that’s the thing. It was the coke machine on the first floor. The one next to 901. And far away from the one near 832, Wonyoung’s locker. 

 

And if Wonyoung thought she was probably just overthinking things, she didn’t miss the way that Yujin had stiffened slightly when she called her name. Nor did she fail to notice the way Yujin seemed to leave a respectable distance between the two of them. It was like she was back to the old Yujin, when they first started their fake dating agreement. 

 

It was when Yujin got on the bus, ignoring Wonyoung’s texts that Michael could give her a lift home that Wonyoung crumbled inside. 

 

Because, Vicky Jang has never regretted anything in her life before. Vicky Jang never cried. Vicky Jang never apologised, never fell in love. 

 

But, Jang Wonyoung did all of those things for Ahn Yujin. 

 

…………………….

 

A/N: 

 

TUIM Yujin you’re actually an idiot, I’m sorry. Bonk. I want to bonk her. 

 

Hehehehe hello everybody. I’m not going to lie… angst is really really really really hard for me to write. I love writing fluff. I guess I wrote Oh, Vicky! as a way to get that out of my system LMAO before I wrote this. 

 

I’m really sorry if this was disappointing :((( I think one of the reasons why it took so long is because I kept trying to write this angst scene but nothing was working. Nothing felt right or nothing felt good enough. I’ll be honest, I’m not really satisfied with how this turned out. :(((

 

But, um, anyways! I’ve got another fluffy HS Annyeongz one-shot that I’m writing LMAOOOO. Fluff is just too fun to write and whenever I write fluff I’m genuinely happy with how it turns out!! I’m thinking of turning ‘Oh, Vicky!’ into a series of Annyeongz one-shots/drabbles of them based in High School. Or as I like to call it: ‘how many ways can I write Yujin as a basketball player’ HAHAHAH. 

 

Hope everyone is staying safe and happy! STAN IVE!!!