Genesis 4:2

Our Innermost Demons
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Then she gave birth to another child, Abel, Cain's brother. Abel was a shepherd, and Cain was a farmer.

Genesis 4:2

 

 

The golden rays of the summer sun shone through the high church windows. There was a pleasant warmth in the old, stone walls.

 

"Dear sisters and brothers in the Lord, you who are united with us today, you who pray with us." Taemin knew the words by heart and moved his lips to them.

 

Ever since Taemin's childhood, old Father Park had started his sermons with these. And this Sunday had been no exception. He was sitting straight on the dark wooden pew in the small village church, listening to the Sunday sermon with rapt attention. On his lap rested a small black Bible, its leather cover already heavily worn.

 

"Establish justice for me, God, and lead my cause against the faithless people, and deliver me from the false and wicked people! For thou art the God of my strength: why hast thou cast me off? Why must I go so sadly when my enemy presseth me?"

 

Next to Taemin sat his father. He was an older, sturdily built man. His once black hair, had already faded to a dark grey. After the death of Taemin's mother, Taemin felt, his father had aged faster. He didn't want his father to suffer any more. So from then on he got up earlier, like his mother once did, and prepared breakfast. He was always the last to go to the horses in the evening to see if everything was all right.

 

His older brother Jinki had not come to church that day. He never knew exactly what Jinki did at those hours, but he couldn't possibly ask him. Jinki would certainly not tell him the truth, but would ridicule the matter and make a joke. But Taemin found no humour in it. Why couldn't Jinki see that he could make their father happy with such a little thing as going to church? One even learned something in the process.

 

It wasn't that he thought his brother didn't believe in God or didn't know what was written in the Bible. After all, as a child, Jinki had come along every Sunday before, as had he. But after their mother died, his church attendance became more sporadic, until eventually he didn't come at all. But Taemin hoped his brother wouldn't do anything stupid during that time.

 

He had never told his father, but he had already seen Jinki talking to a woman a few times. However, not in a way like one spoke to friends, or like Jinki spoke to Taemin. It seemed more intimate somehow. But how close the two of them were, Taemin was unable to interpret. He told himself that Jinki knew what was right and wouldn't cross the line. He was probably only with his best friend Jonghyun at these times anyway.

 

"Send your light and your truth to guide me and bring me to your holy mountain and to your dwelling place, that I may go in to the altar of God, to the God who is my joy and delight, and give thanks to you, God, on the harp, my God. Why art thou troubled, O my soul, and art so disquieted within me? Harp on God; for I shall yet thank him, that he is the help of my countenance, and my God." Father Park finished reading the verse. "What does Psalm 43 tell us?" he looked at the eager faces of his congregation. Properly dressed with their pious families, they sat on the old wooden pews. "Wait on God!" he raised his finger respectfully in the air. "Pray to God my friends, and he will show you the way, the light!" With fervour and conviction, the preacher's deep voice echoed in the church. Not only Taemin, but the other churchgoers nodded in agreement. "If your souls are afflicted, if the enemy presses you..." with a meaningful pause, the pastor glanced around. "...wait on God."

 

Taesun shook Father Park's hand amicably. "Another great sermon, Father." The two had known each other since childhood. They were some of the few from their class who had not left their village after school, but had stayed here. And for Taesun, it had been the right decision ever since. There were things in the city that he did not want to put h

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2Min_Nim2
I apologise in advance for chapter 34.
Perhaps you should have your tissues ready?

It was very difficult for me to write the chapter.
And now I'm indecisive about the ending.

I'm thinking of writing two possible endings, but that would be ridiculous, wouldn't it?

Comments

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SHIN33ee
#1
Chapter 38: I keep rewriting and deleting comments about the endings. But it's not nice to scream and throw things at the author XD. So I will just say thank you for the happier ending. The other one would have killed me.
Yaneyane #2
I was scrolling down to checkout your stories and ended up seeing the title again 😃😃😭😭😭 I can't believe I'm still triggered and feel like crying just merly seeing the title 😢
Yaneyane #3
Gosh it's been a few days since I finished reading this, (infact I finished it within a day) but till now I still have no idea of what I should say about it. I was so into the story that I didn't even know how to feel when the story ended. ( I know I am repeating myself.) All I could say was thank you for putting 2 versions of the ending because I wouldn't known how to feel if it was only the first one. Somehow the 2nd ending cheered me up and even made me hopeful ☺️ 😊.
All on all thank you for the beautiful story ❤️
Moemoetaem
#4
Chapter 38: I regret not reading it sooner. Such a great story!
Iam_Lazy #5
Chapter 38: I loved this story so much 😍 it's soooo well written ahhhhh
Adaryn
#6
Chapter 38: Another long comment (as a reply) because this deserved it :)
lalalididam
#7
Chapter 38: this is my first time commmenting on ur story and i would say this story is beautifully written like i sobbed like a baby reading the last chapter when they met again 10 years later. it pain me but also it comfort me. u really did a great job writing this and i adored this ff so much cuz how realistic the subject is. please i wanna give a praise for writing this. thank you so much! it such a pleasant time reading the chapters!!
Spitzouuu #8
Chapter 38: Oh god... I've waited until I finished reading to comment.. This is so beautifully written. Everything is so full of emotions and tragedy.

I like the ending you've chosen I think it suits the last chapters better. Maybe could have written the epilogue as naeun coming to the farm 10 years later and getting to know what happened to taemin. But let's be real, my heart needed this conforting alternative epilogue :)
You can't change my mind that taesun was the one who killed taemin by destroying the letters. It's frustrating that all of the pain could have been avoided without that.
I feel super bad for naeun whose passion was stripped from her this young. Things like this are traumatising for kids...
Thank you so much for writing this and I'm going to read your other fics now! See you there
nunanneomuyeppeo
#9
Chapter 38: Didn't even realized I managed to finish reading this in one day haha this is so so soooo good! The way how you wrote it wonderfully, realistically, painful, and beautiful, I must say that Our Innermost Demon is an 11/10! It's been such a rollercoaster ride having witnessed their love story. Thank you for your hard work and I admire you for creating such a wonderful piece! ❤️