Deuteronomy 28:22

Our Innermost Demons
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The Lord will strike you with wasting disease, with fever and inflammation, with scorching heat and drought, with blight and mildew, which will plague you until you perish.

Deuteronomy 28:22

 

 

Only numbed, Minho heard his wife speak to him.

 

"What did you say?" he asked her quietly. Everything was a white noise around him.

"I said if you don't leave now, you'll be late." Minho nodded weakly.

"Yes." He said under his breath.

 

All week he had been arguing with himself about whether he should go to the riding lesson. Taemin certainly didn't want to see him. But inside him, his whole body was crying out for the blond man. Maybe they could get a minute or two alone, maybe then he could explain everything to him.

 

He didn't want to cause him any more pain. He wanted to see him happy and hold him in his arms. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Taemin's crying face in front of him and with each time his heart tightened further. He could not inflict any more pain in Taemin by showing up there. But how was he to explain to Naeun that they could no longer go to the farm? Her world would collapse.

 

No matter what he did, everything vegetated. All the water he had used to nourish his and Taemin's relationship had been poisoned. And yet he had given him more and more of it until Taemin drowned in it. He tried to the poison away, but in vain. It was already flowing through Taemin's veins and consuming him.

 

He flinched when he felt his wife's fingers on his arm.

 

"You don't have to be nervous." His wife reassured him and snuggled close.

 

It felt wrong. With everything he had, he wanted to push her away. He didn't belong to her.

 

"I was thinking we could announce it at my concert." She said dreamily.

 

The concert. Minho thought. He hadn't taken the weekend off yet. Forty-eight hours with just his family, that was probably what he deserved. If Taemin's happiness was not granted, then only disaster was foreseen for himself.

 

Minho's gaze went blank as he realised. It wouldn't just be the weekend. It would be all the days until the end of his life.

 

'For Elise' played loudly and gruesomely in his head. Each note that sounded was a slow boring stab into his heart. Someone had taken a vice and pressed it deep into it and twisted it around with relish.

 

He nodded slightly.

 

"We have to go now." he said.

 

Slowly he tore himself away from his wife. Sooyoung stood there for a few more moments, alone. She put her hands on her stomach.  She wished so much that she could see Minho smile again. She would not be the cause of his smile, but their child would be. He would surely be just as happy as he had been with Naeun. And then, at the very latest, everything would be fine.

 

 

 

 

Naeun sensed something was wrong with her father during the car ride. He didn't talk as much as usual. And he hadn't laughed once. She didn't understand any of this. Her dad loved spending time on the farm as much as she did. She had often seen him laughing with Taemin.

 

Sometimes, it always seemed wrong to her, but sometimes she wished her parents could laugh together like that.

 

Maybe her father was ill. But not for much longer and she would be able to see Eve and Taemin. And then her father would certainly be in a better mood.

 

The familiar green spread out in front of the two. Naeun jittered excitedly in her seat. Minho took a deep breath as he brought the car to a stop in the long driveway. He would apologise, over and over again until Taemin believed him.

 

Minho's complete hope sank into the parched ground and died in it for good. His shoulders had no strength left to hold them up.

"Well, how are the two of you?" Jinki came up to them in the best of moods.

"Where's Taemin?" Naeun wanted to know. It was not her intention to be rude, she liked Jinki and thought he was nice. But she was used to learning with Taemin and wanted him back.

"My brother is not feeling well today." Jinki explained gently and gave her a smile.

"Is he sick?" she asked worriedly. Jinki nodded.

 

Naeun thought that maybe Taemin and her father had infected each other. That had to be it. Now that she looked closely at her dad she noticed how pale he was.

 

"But don't worry, he explained everything to me. You must be really good by now." Jinki knelt down to her and she had to smile.

"Excuse me." Minho said qu

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2Min_Nim2
I apologise in advance for chapter 34.
Perhaps you should have your tissues ready?

It was very difficult for me to write the chapter.
And now I'm indecisive about the ending.

I'm thinking of writing two possible endings, but that would be ridiculous, wouldn't it?

Comments

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SHIN33ee
#1
Chapter 38: I keep rewriting and deleting comments about the endings. But it's not nice to scream and throw things at the author XD. So I will just say thank you for the happier ending. The other one would have killed me.
Yaneyane #2
I was scrolling down to checkout your stories and ended up seeing the title again 😃😃😭😭😭 I can't believe I'm still triggered and feel like crying just merly seeing the title 😢
Yaneyane #3
Gosh it's been a few days since I finished reading this, (infact I finished it within a day) but till now I still have no idea of what I should say about it. I was so into the story that I didn't even know how to feel when the story ended. ( I know I am repeating myself.) All I could say was thank you for putting 2 versions of the ending because I wouldn't known how to feel if it was only the first one. Somehow the 2nd ending cheered me up and even made me hopeful ☺️ 😊.
All on all thank you for the beautiful story ❤️
Moemoetaem
#4
Chapter 38: I regret not reading it sooner. Such a great story!
Iam_Lazy #5
Chapter 38: I loved this story so much 😍 it's soooo well written ahhhhh
Adaryn
#6
Chapter 38: Another long comment (as a reply) because this deserved it :)
lalalididam
#7
Chapter 38: this is my first time commmenting on ur story and i would say this story is beautifully written like i sobbed like a baby reading the last chapter when they met again 10 years later. it pain me but also it comfort me. u really did a great job writing this and i adored this ff so much cuz how realistic the subject is. please i wanna give a praise for writing this. thank you so much! it such a pleasant time reading the chapters!!
Spitzouuu #8
Chapter 38: Oh god... I've waited until I finished reading to comment.. This is so beautifully written. Everything is so full of emotions and tragedy.

I like the ending you've chosen I think it suits the last chapters better. Maybe could have written the epilogue as naeun coming to the farm 10 years later and getting to know what happened to taemin. But let's be real, my heart needed this conforting alternative epilogue :)
You can't change my mind that taesun was the one who killed taemin by destroying the letters. It's frustrating that all of the pain could have been avoided without that.
I feel super bad for naeun whose passion was stripped from her this young. Things like this are traumatising for kids...
Thank you so much for writing this and I'm going to read your other fics now! See you there
nunanneomuyeppeo
#9
Chapter 38: Didn't even realized I managed to finish reading this in one day haha this is so so soooo good! The way how you wrote it wonderfully, realistically, painful, and beautiful, I must say that Our Innermost Demon is an 11/10! It's been such a rollercoaster ride having witnessed their love story. Thank you for your hard work and I admire you for creating such a wonderful piece! ❤️