Plague went before him; pestilence followed his steps. He stood, and shook the earth; he looked, and made the nations tremble. The ancient mountains crumbled and the age-old hills collapsed— but he marches on forever.

Habakkuk 3:5-6

Every time Taemin secretly wanted to look over at Minho, the very eyes of him met his. They invited him to come into his arms and kiss him. His face would blush, but Taemin no longer hid it from his lover and gave him a shy smile each time.

In their previous riding lessons, Minho had often stood by the fence and watched Naeun and Taemin. But Naeun was already very good on the horse, so now she rode free more often and didn't need Taemin's help as much. Eve and she had an understanding that made it easy for Naeun and Eve too, to trust each other.

When Naeun rode in the other direction, Minho's fingers crept stealthily and tenderly onto the back of Taemin's hand. The light touch felt burning to them. It promised to bring more, if only they would be patient. Taemin tried to concentrate on what was happening in front of him, but all he could think about was what else Minho's hands were capable of and when they would finally touch him more firmly again.

As unbearable as these hours of longing for each other were for them, at the same time they never wanted them to end. These hours seemed to them like a dream from which they did not want to wake up. They were serene and full of peace. But they were deceiving them. They made them believe in a life they could never have. Only hesitantly did Minho's dark voice flare in their silence.

"I need some more time." They looked earnestly into each other's eyes.

At some point they had to talk about their next steps, even if neither of them knew a solution. Minho didn't want to disappoint Taemin. He didn't want the younger man to think he was just fooling him. But he had no way of leaving his wife immediately. And when the day would come, he had to know that Taemin would be there. But to chase Naeun out of her home overnight and present her face to face with a fait accompli, he couldn't do that.

How was he supposed to explain to his little daughter that her dad wanted to separate from her mom? How was he supposed to explain to her, that he had fallen in love with someone else, and then with a man. How would she react if she knew that this man was her own riding instructor? He didn't know how Naeun would handle it, and whether she could at not even eight years old. The idea that she would detest not only him but also Taemin for it kept him awake for the last nights.

"If it were just me, everything would be different. Then you and I could already..."

"Minho please. You don't have to explain anything to me. I understand." Taemin's words were a soothing balm. Calm and gentle, they laid down on the questions that wracked Minho's mind.

"I just wish..." Minho's eyes looked into Taemin's understanding ones and he wondered what he had done to deserve this respite.

He was a husband and a father who would soon destroy the lives of so many. He did not deserve the patience and consideration Taemin offered him, he thought.

"I want you to know that you are in my heart." He pleaded to the blond boy in front of him. He had to let him know that his decision had been made and it was final.

"And that's enough for me." Taemin assured him.

Just those few words lifted a boulder from Minho's heart, yet leaving splinters in its path. The fragments, one after the other, pierced deep wounds in him. That he didn't deserve Taemin. That he should give up hope of a happy life. That he would disappoint Naeun. Small, too small to grasp and take out, they carved deep scars into him.

"It will be a big adjustment for Naeun. Maybe it will confuse her too. But I want her to be comfortable. I don't want to tear her world apart completely."  Taemin meant every word as he said it.

He was aware that he could only have Minho with his daughter. But that was not the reason why he wanted to give Minho the time he needed. He himself loved Naeun. She was a wonderful girl who enriched his life. It was also important to him that she got enough time to process and understand everything. He did not want to contribute to her perhaps withdrawing and losing herself in her grief. When Naeun was ready, he would be there for her and welcome her with open arms. But he was also prepared that she would hate him if she found out that he was the cause of her parents' separation.

"You and Naeun are the only thing I want. I don't know how long it will take, and honestly, I don't know how to do it either." Explained Minho honestly and had to sigh slightly.

"Minho I will wait. I have some things to sort out myself and I don't really know how. But together I'm sure we can make it work."

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter