Genesis 1:5

Our Innermost Demons
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And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day.

Genesis 1:5

 

 

Taemin and his father were on their way to the nearest village. Not all the horses born on their farm stayed there their whole lives. Some had been sold to friends and relatives. Once a month, the two set out to look after them and visit their friends, today was that day. Taesun stared at the road ahead. His hands clutched the steering wheel.

 

"Jinki's been avoiding work again." He said tonelessly.

Taemin had to laugh a little. He didn't see it as work to visit his former horses.

"You know him." He said briefly and looked out of the window.

Taesun didn't know how to start the conversation with his son. Taemin had never given him any trouble before.

"Kai came to see me a few days ago." He said finally.

There was no turning back now. Surprised, Taemin looked at his father.

"Really? He didn't tell me." Taesun nodded, exhaling deeply.

"He said..." his throat felt dry. It had to be a misunderstanding, he was quite sure of that. It couldn't be, as Kai had reported to him.

"...well, that you seem to have a new friend."

 

Taemin fell silent. He didn't know what to say. He would have preferred to crack the window; the stuffy air in the car made it hard for him to breathe.

 

"He said you met with that boy."

 

Still Taemin remained silent. His eyes were fixed on his trembling fingers.

 

"The gay one."

 

Taesun looked at Taemin for a moment before turning his eyes back to the road. His son sank into the passenger seat. Both shoulders and head lowered.

 

"I...um...wouldn't say we're friends." Taemin managed to get out quietly, hoping that was the end of the conversation. Because that was how it was. They were not friends. They had been drinking a milkshake together and talking.

"Okay." His father nodded slowly, taking his time to understand the words.

"So you two met, just like that?" A deep reproach sounded in his question. A reproach that said there was more to it. Taemin's breath began to shake.

"We were...talking about our school days."

 

He could only hope that God was not watching right now. He certainly didn't want to lie to his father, but he couldn't possibly tell him the truth. His father could never understand. Taemin knew that Key's way of life was a sin. But not to condemn it was as wrong as the sin itself. Taesun pulled over to the side of the empty road and brought the car to a stop. He turned towards his son, but Taemin didn't dare to look at his father.

 

"So you are not...you are not..." Taesun didn't even dare say the word, but he didn't have to.

 

Taemin's cheeks began to glow. With an abrupt movement, he looked at his father.

"No!"

 

Taesun was not prepared for such an outburst from Taemin. He had never seen him so upset. Taemin wondered if he hadn't overreacted. He wasn't like Key, so he didn't need to yell. Again, Taemin slumped his shoulders.

 

"No. Of course not." He tried to make his father understand in a milder tone.

 

Taesun nodded slightly, yet he didn't know what to make of it. First Taemin had invited these townspeople and now he was meeting with a gay boy. The whole thing had to be put to an end now. He knew that these people from the city only brought trouble with their new-fashioned behaviour. He had known it from the beginning. He blamed himself for ever having accepted the check. Never again would he be blinded by the numbers.

 

"I don't want you to see him again." Taesun said firmly and restarted the car.

"I won't." Said Taemin meekly and remained silent for the rest of the drive.

"Good."

 

 

 

 

Jinki didn't even knock on Taemin's bedroom door.

"Get dressed." He said and tossed him his jacket. Perplexed, Taemin lifted his jacket up. He sat on his bed and read the Bible.

"What?"

 

He didn't understand what was going on and he didn't have the time or energy for Jinkis silliness right now. Last week he had arranged to meet Key tonight and today he would have to stand him up. He didn't know how he could look Key in the eye. But how could he ever look at his father again if he disobeyed his rules now. No, Taemin really had no energy for Jinki's nonsense. He was looking for advice, for an answer. Anything that would help him get out of this situation.

 

"I told dad that Jonghyun had a problem at the café. Now get dressed."

 

As quickly as Jinki was in his room, he had left it. And Taemin wondered if that wasn't a sign from God. Quickly he pulled his jacket over him. Surely Key would understand that Taemin had to help someone in need and therefore didn't have time to meet with him. "What happened?" asked Taemin concerned as he sat down next to Jinki in the car. "Nothing happened. I only said that to dad." Taemin shook his head. He didn't quite understand what his big brother meant by that. "You lied to him?" Jinki had to laugh. Taemin looked too funny. As

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2Min_Nim2
I apologise in advance for chapter 34.
Perhaps you should have your tissues ready?

It was very difficult for me to write the chapter.
And now I'm indecisive about the ending.

I'm thinking of writing two possible endings, but that would be ridiculous, wouldn't it?

Comments

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SHIN33ee
#1
Chapter 38: I keep rewriting and deleting comments about the endings. But it's not nice to scream and throw things at the author XD. So I will just say thank you for the happier ending. The other one would have killed me.
Yaneyane #2
I was scrolling down to checkout your stories and ended up seeing the title again 😃😃😭😭😭 I can't believe I'm still triggered and feel like crying just merly seeing the title 😢
Yaneyane #3
Gosh it's been a few days since I finished reading this, (infact I finished it within a day) but till now I still have no idea of what I should say about it. I was so into the story that I didn't even know how to feel when the story ended. ( I know I am repeating myself.) All I could say was thank you for putting 2 versions of the ending because I wouldn't known how to feel if it was only the first one. Somehow the 2nd ending cheered me up and even made me hopeful ☺️ 😊.
All on all thank you for the beautiful story ❤️
Moemoetaem
#4
Chapter 38: I regret not reading it sooner. Such a great story!
Iam_Lazy #5
Chapter 38: I loved this story so much 😍 it's soooo well written ahhhhh
Adaryn
#6
Chapter 38: Another long comment (as a reply) because this deserved it :)
lalalididam
#7
Chapter 38: this is my first time commmenting on ur story and i would say this story is beautifully written like i sobbed like a baby reading the last chapter when they met again 10 years later. it pain me but also it comfort me. u really did a great job writing this and i adored this ff so much cuz how realistic the subject is. please i wanna give a praise for writing this. thank you so much! it such a pleasant time reading the chapters!!
Spitzouuu #8
Chapter 38: Oh god... I've waited until I finished reading to comment.. This is so beautifully written. Everything is so full of emotions and tragedy.

I like the ending you've chosen I think it suits the last chapters better. Maybe could have written the epilogue as naeun coming to the farm 10 years later and getting to know what happened to taemin. But let's be real, my heart needed this conforting alternative epilogue :)
You can't change my mind that taesun was the one who killed taemin by destroying the letters. It's frustrating that all of the pain could have been avoided without that.
I feel super bad for naeun whose passion was stripped from her this young. Things like this are traumatising for kids...
Thank you so much for writing this and I'm going to read your other fics now! See you there
nunanneomuyeppeo
#9
Chapter 38: Didn't even realized I managed to finish reading this in one day haha this is so so soooo good! The way how you wrote it wonderfully, realistically, painful, and beautiful, I must say that Our Innermost Demon is an 11/10! It's been such a rollercoaster ride having witnessed their love story. Thank you for your hard work and I admire you for creating such a wonderful piece! ❤️