she tried to grasp a hold onto her hands, but the other person never did. her hands were as cold as ice, eyes void of any feelings of love no more. and maybe this time, it’s time to let go. to finally have the courage to be the one to step down and to turn away completely because the other person had come to a conclusion that their relationship won’t work out anymore.

she was the happiest during those five years and she’d seen her genuine smile for four years, perhaps that was enough to fill in the emptiness she’s feeling right now. to have the memories of the past hunt her, yet comfort her heart at the same time.

loneliness. it’s meant to happen at a point in her lifetime.

for the last year in the course of their relationship, the girl she once loved – still, love – didn’t reciprocated it anymore. those genuine smiles with eyes creases were no more visible in her almond colored eyes. those lovely three words that slipped into her lips were not meant to be heard by her ears anymore.

she’d mostly utter i love you in the most random moments, which was unlikely since she usually would proclaim it in a more romantic way. as if she’d only utter it only to test her feelings that were long gone for a year already. perhaps there was a reason to it, something she never knew until she met her childhood friend.

“hyun, this is jennie kim from new york. she’s my childhood friend and she’s staying here for good,” seungwan introduced as she was side hugging the chic girl wearing a red dress.

she offered her hand to greet the girl of course, not wanting to be rude to the childhood friend of her lover, despite the lurching feeling that’s starting to grow in her stomach. she tried her best to give the girl a small smile as best as she could because how come that her girlfriend’s laughter that was reserved for her was also present with the girl’s presence.

those warm embraces that she’d given her the past year felt like an obligation that should be given as a lover, instead of actually wanting it genuinely. she’d enveloped her in a tight embrace more often as she’d mumble the three words that she used to love to hear, not when it became too frequent that it sounded like a mantra that needed to be spoken to be true.

“i love you, hyun,” seungwan mumbled in the crook of her neck as they were sleeping, the moonlight illuminating outdoor was peeking through their curtain, too intrigued to the sweet girl during the nighttime.

she’d hugged seungwan that day as she uttered the three words to confirm her honest love for her, never wanting for her girlfriend to let go from her embraced.

it did happened at some point.

when her lover had given her sad smiles for a month before she’d break it to her face that she’d find someone new. it’s someone was a person she found