Yoo Jimin had always been a charming girl for Kim Aeri.

 

Ever since they were introduced to work for the first mini album of the singer, Jimin had piqued Aeri’s interest. She was confident, bold. Something that observant Aeri immediately noticed from the girl.

 

Most rookies would be shying away from people, awkwardly smiling at the seniors and producers alike hoping that they would make the first good impression by behaving like a disciplined nun.

 

Jimin was nowhere near that.

 

She still bows ninety degrees as a sign of respect. She speaks politely and answers questions in the most respectful manner. But unlike any other rookies, Jimin was certain of many things. When most rookies will be in their tippy toes trying to adjust to the idol life, Jimin was moving like a pro six months into her career.

 

She tells the company what she wants. Her personal trainer incorporates choreographies that she thought would fit. Her mere presence demanded attention and whenever she’d be in the room, producers and song-writers would zoom in on her, listening to her brilliant ideas as to what she wanted for her music to sound like.

 

And Kim Aeri likes that. She really likes that. For a composer/producer commissioned to create songs for artists, Aeri needed a strong-willed figure that will be the sole inspiration to the lyrics she will write on paper. Someone who will tickle her neurons and produce personas in her head that she can write songs for.

 

Aeri thinks she has finally found her muse in Jimin, in more ways than one.

 

And that scared her, if she was being honest.

 

Aeri was only looking for a muse to inspire her songs with. But Jimin, the ever eccentric and brave Jimin whose eyes holds galaxies that Aeri wants to explore, was looking for something more. Something more personal.

 

Something that Aeri cannot fully give.

 

It’s not like she cannot. She is a consenting adult who is more than capable of committing herself to anyone. But Aeri religiously believes that Jimin is worthy of a person who is more than just capable of committing. Jimin, whose intention had always been pure like an innocent child free from ill intent, deserves someone who has the luxury of completely reciprocating what she can give.

 

Aeri does not have that.

 

Her life revolves around studio and music sheets. It has been like that since she was fourteen. She barely has time for herself outside the company building for crying out loud (only ever does when she felt the need to go home or Jimin would insist on hanging out after a couple of death threats sent her way if she declines), much more for something that would involve time and whole new level of commitment.

 

And Jimin she... she is a walking embodiment of passion, a woman in her early twenties who would drop everything if you basically ask her to because she is Jimin. The always giver and stubborn Jimin who loves the hardest.

 

Aeri cannot return that.

 

If she cannot even dedicate a simple portion of her precious time to the woman whom she considers as someone relatively important, Aeri doesn’t trust herself to give Jimin something bigger.

 

Nonetheless, despite Aeri’s apparent hesitation, Jimin never pushed her away.

 

In fact, her reluctance seemed to fuel the singer even more. Every time Aeri would try to take a step back, Jimin will always be stubborn and tug her back in place, right to her side. Jimin kept her close even though the girl never really showed any intention of furthering whatever it was that they have.

 

And Aeri could worship her for that. She knows she was being selfish for hanging unto Jimin but she cannot help herself.

 

Jimin is sooooo amazing she has ultimately become Aeri’s starting place. Whenever things start to get into her head, Aeri’s mind would immediately wander into Jimin and everything becomes alright. It was as if the girl had some sort of superpower because the mere thought of her gives Aeri a sense of calmness.

 

Jimin is her rest, even if whatever they have between the both of them is anything but.

 

Which is why, the news of the girl collapsing and being rushed to the hospital knocks the balance out of Aeri, sending her to a plethora of emotions she never knew she still had in her. She basically malfunctioned in the middle of explaining a demo song to a few of her producer friends in the studio when some colleague broke the news to her.

 

We had to cancel the meeting. Jimin-ssi collapsed and was rushed to the hospital just now.

 

Aeri had to compose herself after a gruesome minute because in as much as she wanted to bolt out of the room and see Jimin, she has an obligation to finish. The very same obligation that keeps her from fully committing to the girl who holds a special place in her heart.

 

She could only swallow a lump in before continuing with where she left off in her explanation, willing herself to stop thinking about the girl she just made a song for.

 

Aeri knows that Jimin hated hospitals. For once, she wanted to be there when Jimin wakes up, wanted to be the first person she sees and the one who will reassure the girl that it’s alright, there is nothing to be scared about hospitals because Aeri is there and Jimin is not alone.

 

And indeed, Jimin was not alone.

 

The moment Aeri stepped into Jimin’s room (after grueling hours of session she cannot focus her mind into), she heard hushed voices from a distance. Her racing heart instantly calmed down because she vaguely caught unto Jimin’s voice which means Jimin is awake. Aeri unconsciously lets out the breath she didn’t know she was holding because she prepared herself for the worst. She wanted to be ready for whatever sight of Jimin she will find in the room.

 

She just didn’t expect to see Jimin with a girl under her embrace.

 

“Kim Aeri.”

 

Jimin addressed her after she cleared , getting uncomfortable at the sight of the two girls being intimately close on the bed. Something about the way Jimin tightens her hold on the woman made Aeri’s heart clench. But of course she doesn’t show it.

 

Hopefully.

 

“Getting cozy there, babe.” She croaks, puts on a smirk and hopes that Jimin won’t see through her façade, “Am I interrupting something?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“No.”

 

Jimin and the woman answered at the same time. Aeri saw Jimin’s face crumple into a frown, averting her gaze back to the girl in her arms.

 

“What do you mean no? We were clearly having a moment.”

 

The girl in Jimin’s arms pulled away from her embrace, much to the singer’s annoyance, and pushed herself up to a sitting position. She looked flustered, embarrassed to say the least. And she was drop-dead gorgeous.

 

Aeri thinks she looks like someone who should be in a K-Pop group or something.

 

“No, no, comeback. I need you here.”

 

“You have a guest ,” the girl chastises and Aeri widened her eyes because did she really just call Jimin a ?

 

“So?” Jimin sassed, “It’s just Kim Aeri.”

 

“It’s just wh—” the girl sighs, shaking her head in disbelief before turning to Aeri, their eyes finally meeting for the first time.

 

Right then and there, Aeri knows.

 

“I’m so sorry for her rude behavior,” the girl says, looking so sheepish and sincerely apologetic that Aeri didn’t have it in her to be upset anymore.

 

The girl looks exactly like that greater someone that Jimin deserved, someone way better than her.

 

“It’s okay. I’m used to it,” Aeri chuckles, reaches out her hand for the girl to take. “I’m Aeri Uchinaga in Japan. Kim Aeri in Korea. You can call me eitherway.”

 

The girl takes her hand tentatively, a little bit reserved for the introductions. “Kim Minjeong. I’m Kim Minjeong here and everywhere. It’s basically just Minjeong.”

 

Aeri laughs, “I like this one,” throwing a fleeting look to Jimin’s direction before eyeing Kim Minjeong again, “Is it too late to take you away from her? I’m not rude and my taste in music is impeccable.”

 

Kim Minjeong widens her eyes at her words. Jimin on the other hand..

 

“Back off, Uchinaga,” she spat, literally snatching Kim Minjeong’s hand away from Aeri’s hold and pulling her back by her waist, earning a small yelp from the girl, “Finder’s keeper.”

 

Aeri barks out a laugh again, hoping it wouldn’t sound forced.

 

“Alright, alright,” she holds up her hands in mock resignation, “How can I even compete with Karina Yoo.”

 

“I know that’s right.”

 

Minjeong, who looked a lot more flustered now, squirms away from Jimin’s hold, “Ahhh why are you like this..” and stands up from the bed with a flaring cheeks, “A-anyway, I’ll go.”

 

The frown immediately made its way back on Jimin’s face, “Where are you going? You just got here.”

 

“You have a guest. She didn’t come here for me, silly,” Minjeong explains, “And I’m thinking of cooking you something because I know you wouldn’t dare eat that hospital ration even if your manager shoves it down your throat.”

 

Jimin visibly lights up at the mention of food and Aeri is stunned yet again. It has been a while since she saw that child-like sparkle in Jimin’s eyes that had been long obscured by the industry’s prying eyes.

 

She is seeing it again right now and it’s still the most beautiful ever.

 

“Damn straight I won’t,” Jimin proclaims, “My welfare is now in your hands Kim Minjeong. I wouldn’t be taking any medicines until I taste the food you will cook. You better hurry up and get back here as soon as possible.”

 

Minjeong lets out a scoff at the celebrity’s very demanding instruction and Aeri could only watch in amusement. Jimin must be in her comfort zone for her maddening attitude to be parading like this and right now, Aeri thinks she is just on the verge of tipping Kim Minjeong from her sanity.

 

“You’re such a demanding prick I swear to god,” Minjeong mutters and Aeri gets the shock of her life for the umpteenth time.

 

The girl had been calling Jimin names that any other person would never, even herself. Aeri would be lying if she said that she isn’t kind of worried for the girl’s future..

 

But when Jimin broke into a fit of exhilarating giggles, literally glowing from the supposed insult, said worry immediately flew out of the window and was replaced with awe. Jimin giggling and Jimin laughing and Jimin this happy is a foreign sight to Aeri.

 

Just who is this girl to stimulate such elite response from Jimin?

 

 

***

 

 

(“I’ll be going now. It’s nice to meet you, Kim Aeri-ssi.”

 

“Same here, babe~”

 

“Stop calling her babe!”

 

“Oh shush. You’re my real babe, don’t be jealous.”

 

“Shut it, Aeri..”

 

“Aigoo, look at you blushing.”

 

“I said shut it!”

 

“Oh my god stop shouting at your guest, Jimin!”

 

“But she’s annoying Kim Minjeong!”

 

“You’re the annoying one!”

 

“Oh wow! Are you taking her side??”

 

“No, I am taking a leave. I can’t with you. Goodbye.”

 

“Wha—wait hold up. Yah! Kim Minjeong!”)

 

 

***

 

 

When Kim Minjeong left (after a series of cursing and apologetic bows directed to Aeri), the producer was left with a smiling Jimin who can’t take her eyes off the now closed door.

 

Aeri can’t take her eyes off Jimin.

 

“You look so happy for someone who is rushed to the hospital after collapsing,” she comments, walking towards the bed and taking a seat on the chair near the bed.

 

“Would you rather have me miserable?” Jimin’s eyes are finally on her, smile gone, and eyes unreadable. Aeri wants to see that smile again.

 

“No no, of course not,” she shakes her head, “It’s just it’s been awhile since I’ve seen you this happy, Jimin. I like it when you’re happy.”

 

A smile plasters back on Jimin’s lips.

 

“You do?”

 

Aeri just really wants to see that smile again, “Of course babe.”

 

Something shifted in the air and Jimin must have felt it. She must have because she averted her eyes away from Aeri’s stare which probably has an apparent longing and unwritten questions swimming in her orbs.

 

Aeri knows she always tried to avoid this kind atmosphere before. Confronting each other about the unspoken thing they have also means putting boundaries that Aeri doesn’t know if she wants to set in the first place. She wanted to prolong it, this thing she has with Jimin, by not addressing it.

 

But Aeri thinks the time has come that she stops ignoring the gigantic elephant in the room that always followed her when it comes to Jimin.

 

Especially since a certain girl with mouth so bold has come into the picture and Jimin looks at her like a love letter filled with the most heartfelt of words.

 

“That Kim Minjeong..” she starts, “..you really like her, don’t you?”

 

Jimin stops fiddling with the blanket and glances up at Aeri.

 

Jimin’s eyes have always been the prettiest among the pairs Aeri had stared unto. They are so expressive and warm with a tinge of enigma Aeri is convince, that if she wants to, she can basically fall for Jimin because of her bare eyes alone.

 

Right now, Jimin’s pair essentially screams that she might just be on the way of falling for someone.

 

Sadly, it isn’t Aeri.

 

“I do, Aeri,” Jimin answers after a moment, small but sure. “I really like her.”

 

From a distance, Aeri can hear the shattering of her heart into tiny, million pieces.

 

“I wanted to tell you about her,” Jimin continues, hesitation suddenly laced in her voice. “But I don’t know if it even matters to you. You never really told me where we stood so..”

 

Jimin averts her eyes away and fiddles with her hands again, a habit that Aeri knows Jimin does when she is trying to pick her words.

 

Jimin seldom does. She had always been so unfiltered.

 

To see her contemplating on what to say could only mean one thing for Aeri: Jimin’s next words could either make or break her.

 

“Y’know, there was a point in time when I believed on the idea of us,” Jimin says and Aeri’s heart jumped to , “You were one of the very few who actually knew how to handle me and you were always so patient. I really liked that about you. Not everyone will understand the stress of being in this industry more than someone who can actually see the struggle of artists like me behind the cameras. It doesn’t hurt that your songs are mostly about me and they are all so good. It was quite a turn on to be pretty honest. I told myself that I need someone like you in my life.”

 

Jimin turns up to meet Aeri’s eyes again and oh.

 

This is the part where it would break her.

 

“But you were so unwilling, Aeri.” Jimin does not sound angry; but her eyes are sad, “You and I both know how much I tried to be more than just..this. But every damn time I try, you put up this godforsaken wall that no one asked for. And I get it. I totally do. We have our respective issues that only ourselves can sort out.”

 

Jimin purses her lips and Aeri braces herself for what she’ll say next, “But what about our issue? How about the thing between us that you and I clearly know existed? It wasn’t just an illusion Aeri. It was real. I know because I felt it. But god did you do a great job of pretending it wasn’t.”

 

Aeri finds herself swallowing a lump in . Leave it to Jimin to always get to her without even lifting a finger.

 

“I was willing to try, Aeri.” Jimin whispers and Aeri knows. “But you weren’t. Turns out I was pining over someone who couldn’t care less about me or my feelings. And I could only try for so long until it became so tiring to even give a damn.”

 

Aeri couldn’t take it any longer. “I did,” she croaks, felt the need to let it out for Jimin’s sake, “I did care, Jimin. A lot.”

 

What she got was a weak scoff from the girl, “Could’ve fooled me.”

 

Aeri does not blame her. She had never been clear about her intention since day one, anyway. Jimin has no reason to believe her whatsoever.

 

But she needs to let the girl know that it wasn’t as unrequited as she thought it was.

 

“I’m sorry,” she says, reaching for Jimin’s hand even though the chance of her being pushed away is huge.

 

She wasn’t pushed away.

 

In fact, Jimin didn’t shrug her off. She let Aeri take her hand just like always. Despite the circumstances, Jimin still does not have it in her to push Aeri away.

 

Aeri almost wept.

 

“It was easier to pretend it wasn’t there than deal with it and take the risk of getting hurt in the end. I’m not as brave as you, Jimin. We’re two different people.” She says, playing with Jimin’s tiny fingers she always found adorable, “Besides, I barely have time for you when we aren’t even together. What more if we became an item with an added pressure of responsibility and expectation. It wouldn’t have worked.”

 

“Taking a risk is better than not finding out at all.” Jimin retaliates, “Who knew if we could’ve worked out or not.”

 

“We wouldn’t have Jimin. Trust me,” Aeri insists, staring right through the girl who looked like she could have this conversation all day. “When you have parents who divorced a few years into their marriage because they belatedly realized that their careers matter more than raising a family and a kid in their large, empty house, you’d understand where I’m coming from.”

 

Aeri could hear the rapid beating of her heart, “I’m not saying it’s the only factor but giving time is one of the most important considerations to work things out. And I could hardly give you that,” But she ignores it. She owes Jimin every bit of her honesty.

 

“I saw people fall apart because of their failure to give time, Jimin. I grew up watching them. I can’t take risks and go through the same heartbreak all over again.”

 

Jimin was silent after that. It was the first time Aeri told her about something other than her self-written songs. Heck, it was the first time Aeri bared herself to someone in general.

 

And it baffles her for a bit. A combination of unsettlement and calmness coursed through her veins when she finally addressed this matter to a real person other than a paper.

 

“You could’ve just told me.” Jimin mutters, squeezing Aeri’s hand in hers. “I would understand Aeri. You know I would.”

 

“That’s the thing,” Aeri emphasized, “..because you would’ve understood and I would’ve fallen for you more,” fondly looking at the girl who made life more meaningful for her, “Jimin, your heart is so big you would’ve kept me closer and never let me go despite my reservations. And I would’ve kept pushing you away even though you mean the world to me because I’m built like that. Which is unfair. You deserve more than an asshat who got a lot of unresolved issues with no concrete plans of settling them.”

 

Jimin stares at her. She stares and stares and stares that Aeri felt like she was being stripped by Jimin. She really leaves it to the girl to make her feel all sorts of emotion with just her bare eyes.

 

“You need someone like Minjeong, Jimin.” Aeri declares when she felt like Jimin’s eyes are slowly drowning her. “She sounds and feels like sunshine. That’s the kind of person you deserve.”

 

And just like that, the elephant in the room disappears and Jimin is smiling again. The same kind of smile that Aeri loves.

 

“She is amazing, isn’t she?” Jimin breathes, a far away look in her eyes, “That woman is so wonderful, Aeri. I can’t get enough of her.”

 

Aeri ignores the pang in her chest upon hearing the girl’s categorical admiration over Kim Minjeong for the second time. “Does she make you happy?”

 

Jimin nods, certain. “She does.”

 

“Does she make you feel certain?”

 

“Definitely.”

 

Aeri feels closing up. But she went on, “Does she make you feel safe?”

 

Aeri bites back a sob when Jimin resolutely said: “In more ways than one, Aeri.”

 

It really is too late for her.

 

“Then keep her,” Aeri whispers, squeezing Jimin’s hand in hers for the last time and stares through those brown orbs that brought her to places beyond her imagination.

 

It’s time to let her go.

 

“Stick to those who make you happy, certain and safe like Kim Minjeong. You deserve no less than that, my queen.”

 

 

***

 

 

Minjeong didn’t mean to snoop. No, really, she didn’t.

 

It’s just that she clumsily forgot her cap inside Jimin’s room so she had to go back and get it. It was supposed to be a short and quick run for her cap that she vaguely remembered to have placed on the bedside table.

 

But Minjeong was quick to halt in her steps when she suddenly heard her name.

 

That Kim Minjeong...you really like her, don’t you?

 

She knew she was not supposed to eavesdrop like that. She is never this kind of person. Yet the stubborn side of her reasoned that the conversation involved her. Jimin and Aeri were talking about her.

 

For certain, this is something that she should hear right?

 

Wrong.

 

But Minjeong was far too flummoxed by what she was hearing that she simply stood frozen by the door as she soaks in the dialog between the two women. It was too late to leave the scene, anyway. Not with the revelations Minjeong just heard..

 

By the time Jimin and Aeri was finished talking, Minjeong was already outside of the room, too stunned to even move her feet. She was in the middle of processing everything when the door flew open.

 

Minjeong simply looked up. She basked in the sight of Kim Aeri stepping out of the room looking like a new person for some reason.

 

If the girl was surprised to see Minjeong leaning against the wall adjacent the door, she didn’t show it. Instead, she smiled at her and Minjeong’s throat tightens.

 

“D’you wanna walk out of here together?” Aeri inquires, light and friendly.

 

Minjeong just nodded her head in response.

 

They silently walked side by side to the direction of the elevator. The hallway is comfortably silent and other than the nurse who walked past them when they rounded a corner, it was relatively empty.

 

Minjeong doesn’t know what to say.

 

“Jimin is amazing, isn’t she?” Aeri suddenly asked and Minjeong silently thanked her for breaking the silence.

 

“An amazing pain in the , yes.” Minjeong answers, truthful as always.

 

This earned her a laugh from Kim Aeri, “That too,” and Minjeong felt a tug on the corner of her lips for eliciting the sound.

 

Despite having known what Kim Aeri meant to Jimin at some point, Minjeong cannot find it in herself to feel ill about the woman. Maybe it has something to do with what she heard. Or the fact that Kim Aeri is cordial towards Minjeong despite knowing who she is for Jimin.

 

Minjeong doesn’t know why but she felt the need to thank Kim Aeri.

 

So she did.

 

“Thank you,” she says as they approached the elevator.

 

In her peripheral vision, she could see Kim Aeri looking up at her. Minjeong didn’t meet her eyes.

 

“Thank you for being there with Jimin before I met her,” Minjeong found herself relaxing upon airing the words out loud, “She can be a handful yet you didn’t give up and stayed by her side until she eventually met me. Takes a lot of dedication and patience to stick around with that annoying person.”

 

Aeri barks out a laugh beside her. “I can say the same thing for you,” lightly nudging Kim Minjeong by the shoulder, “You’re doing a great job in putting up with her. The few minutes of me watching you bicker says a lot.”

 

Minjeong found a smile bloom across her face, “Yeah, well, as strange as it sounds, that woman makes me happy,” heaving a contented sigh at the thought of the annoying girl with the permanent smirk on her face Minjeong had grown fond of, “She’s so infuriating but she’s also the sweetest thing it doesn’t make any sense. But you put up with her anyway because that’s what you do for people who make you feel things, right? I honestly don’t know what she did but whatever it is, it’s working on me.”

 

Aeri hums, “She’s charming like that,” mirroring Minjeong’s easy smile.

 

They made it infront of the elevator and Minjeong pushed the button going down.

 

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out for the both of you,” she utters as they wait for the box to get to their level, “But if it did, I wouldn’t have met her and she wouldn’t have pestered me to the point of me eventually catching feelings. So…thanks. I guess?”

 

Aeri aired out a chuckle at this, shaking her head in amusement and sends a fleeting look at the girl who was just a few centimeters taller than her, “No wonder Jimin is so smitten by you Kim Minjeong.”

 

Minjeong throws the girl a questioning look, “Why?”

 

Aeri just smirks at her, a glint in her eyes that Minjeong cannot decipher, “Where’s the fun if I tell you?”

 

Minjeong found herself huffing at the blatant teasing which Kim Aeri responds with a giggle, a barely suppressed mirth leaking through her cackles. Minjeong will not admit it out loud but she thinks the girl is very appealing.

 

She could also see why Jimin has taken a liking on her.

 

“I should be the one thanking you, y’know,” Aeri says after her laughter died down. Minjeong stared at her in expectation. “Jimin looks so much more relaxed and happy right now compared to the girl I’ve seen for the past couple of years. She may not admit it but her early rise to stardom has taken a toll on her young age and had taken away things that ordinary twenty year olds like her would typically experience.”

 

Aeri meets Minjeong’s eyes and sends the girl a grateful smile.

 

“But you brought back a sense of normalcy to her so much that she looks like the bright, seventeen year old Jimin again. I couldn’t thank you enough Minjeong. Whatever you are doing, don’t stop doing it.”

 

The statement erupted an indescribable feeling in the middle of Minjeong’s chest and her stomach recoils. She never really thought of what she could possibly be bringing into Jimin’s life because all they do is bicker and argue and bicker some more.

 

So to have someone like Aeri, a relatively familiar person to Jimin, say all these things right now, makes Minjeong’s head float.

 

But she expertly masked it with a grin and a playful remark, tops it with a lilt in her voice that she knows Aeri perfectly understood.

 

“Oh I don’t plan on stopping any time soon. That brat should try a little harder than her attitude to get rid of me now.”

 

Aeri could only snicker beside her.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Later that night, Minjeong lays side by side Jimin in her fairly huge hospital bed after the celebrity practically inhaled the kimchi stew she prepared.

 

 

(“That was the best meal I have ever tasted!”

 

“You say that every time I cook you something.”

 

“Would you rather have me tell you that it’s the worst?”

 

“I dare you. So you wouldn’t get to taste anything that I cook ever again.”

 

“Oh wow. I tell you that it’s the best then you nag. If I tell you that it’s the opposite, you will stop cooking for me? Pick a struggle Kim Minjeong!”

 

“The only damn struggle that matters right now is the tension between you and that medicine you haven’t taken since you finished your meal. Don’t think I don’t know that strategy, Jimin.”

 

“Whaattttt?”

 

“You can’t distract me from things like this. Take your medicine.”

 

“No but seriously Minjeong, I—”

 

“Take the damn medicine dip or I’m leaving.”

 

“…fine.”)

 

 

Turns out, a well-fed and sedated Jimin is a lot more peaceful than a normal Jimin. The girl simply laid beside Minjeong, staring at the ceiling with her droopy eyes and beautiful face.

 

She is also a lot more open.

 

“My mom used to cook kimchi stew for me when I was a kid,” Jimin suddenly says in a hushed voice. This is the first time Minjeong was hearing about Jimin’s parents and she found herself listening attentively, “Whenever I’d get sick, she would always scoop up the best kimchi stored in our cabinet and our house would be filled with the aroma of the soup. She’d bring it to my room and feed me while she tells me stories of her childhood. The next day I’d be bragging about it at school that my mom made me the most delicious stew in the world.”

 

The corner of Minjeong’s lips curled up at the thought of young Jimin boasting to her friends about the stew her mother made her.

 

“She sounds amazing,” she says, wondering if there will come a day she will meet Jimin’s mother.

 

“She was.”

 

The deliberate use of the past tense told Minjeong that maybe she wouldn’t, making her freeze. She tilts her head to look at Jimin.

 

“She fell ill when I started training at thirteen. I didn’t know she was sick because everytime I’d go home on the weekends, she seemed healthy,” Jimin says easily but the sad curl of her lips tells Minjeong that this subject isn’t as light as she made it sound, “She didn’t tell me about it. She kept it to herself all those years without telling anyone.”

 

Before she could even process it, Minjeong was already taking Jimin’s hand resting beside hers, squeezing the girl’s hand to let Jimin that know she is listening and she is here.

 

“I hated her at some point for keeping me in the dark. But I hated myself more for not noticing. I was supposed to be the first person to know about how she feels and how she is because I’m her daughter, y’know. But I was too caught up in my own life and my own dreams I started missing what really matters.” Jimin breathes, loaded and melancholic.

 

“Before I knew it, she was gone.” She mutters under breath and Minjeong tightens her hold on Jimin, “It was a year after I debuted. Just finished a schedule from the other side of the country and the first thing I did when we came back to the city was to visit her in the hospital. Turns out, I had no one to visit there anymore. I came to an empty room and the nurses said that she left a little over an hour before I arrived. She couldn’t even wait.”

 

Minjeong didn’t know she was crying until Jimin’s soft hand came in touch with her cheek, wiping away the tears that stubbornly flowed out of her eyes.

 

“I just wished I was able to say goodbye,” Jimin whispers, “Tell her how much I loved her. I wasn’t able to tell her that, Minjeong.”

 

Minjeong held the girl’s hand in her cheek and squeezes them. She turns to her side so she can fully look at Jimin.

 

“I’m sure she knows that,” Minjeong speaks softly, can feel a lone tear rolling down her face, “Mothers know that you love them even when you don’t tell them. They have this sort of superpower to read your mind even before you could get the words out of your mouth. I’m sure your mom had that ability too.”

 

Jimin’s face crumples into a frown, doubtful, “You think so? You think she knew I love her?”

 

“I know so.”

 

Jimin always seemed like someone invincible. The way she brought herself out to everyone, both as Jimin and Karina Yoo, always posed this glaring impression that she got it all together, seemingly unaffected with everything going around her because she had always been so sure and confident.

 

But Minjeong, the constantly pragmatic Minjeong, always knew better. She knows that everything is not what it seems and there are more than meets the eyes.

 

And indeed, there are. Jimin with uncertainty whirling across her orbs as she stares at Minjeong tells her just what she needed to know.

 

That Jimin is human. She has feelings, she is not a robot and she is flawed just like anybody else. And just like the rest of the world, it’s not always rainbows and sunshine for Jimin. There are also rains and ugliness and vulnerability that all come naturally for being human.

 

Jimin is showing her that and Minjeong could cry out in joy for reaching this whole new level of intimacy with the girl.

 

Jimin is baring herself at her, something that had been a gradual process for the both of them. Jimin telling her all of this could only mean on thing: she trusts Minjeong enough to show this side of her. The human side that not everyone always gets to witness.

 

(Right then and there, Minjeong silently made a vow to herself that she will always try be with Jimin, be it in rainbows or in rains.)

 

When Jimin moved to her side to fully look at her, Minjeong wasted no time in cupping the girl’s cheeks, cradling them in her palms just to reassure her that Minjeong isn’t going anywhere.

 

“I know wherever your mom is right now, she is so proud of you Jimin,” she says tenderly, looking straight through the girl’s eyes, “She must be looking down at you, smiling so hard because her little monster had grown into this wonderful woman that everybody loves, including myself. Nevermind if you annoy me so much.”

 

Jimin laughs through her teary eyes, “You always have to rub it in my face that I’m annoying, don’t you?”

 

Minjeong loves the sound of that laugh, “Yes, because that’s what you are.”

 

Jimin crinkles her nose in response and Minjeong may or may not have swooned a little bit, just a little bit, more at the sight.

 

When Jimin’s eyes droopily dropped, Minjeong knows it’s time to tuck her to bed.

 

“I think the medicines are kicking in,” Jimin says, lazily blinking her eyes at Minjeong, “Why does it have to kick in right now when I want to kiss you?”

 

If it not for the dim lighting of the room, Jimin would have seen the red hues that painted Minjeong’s cheeks all thanks to her statement.

 

“Then go to sleep Jimin.”

 

“But I wanna kish youuu,” murmurs the girl, “You look sho shoft and extraw pretty right now..”

 

Minjeong can’t help the chuckle from escaping , “You can’t even form coherent words, silly. Go to sleep.”

 

“How ‘bout my kiss?”

 

Minjeong tucks a strand of the girl’s hair behind her ear, staring fondly at the girl who looks like she could pass out any second, “Tomorrow when you wake up.”

 

“You promise?”

 

Minjeong is not the type to break any promises.

 

“I promise.”

 

 

 

***

 

 

(“I think you just implied that you love me…”

 

“What?”

 

“You said that I’ve grown into this… this wonderful woman that everybody loves, including yourself... You said that…right?”

 

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. And aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?”

 

“I was... But I think… I think I heard you say that so I had to…I had to check. Did you say that..?”

 

“I-I didn’t. It’s probably just the meds creating scenarios in your head.”

 

“Really..?”

 

“..yep. Go back to sleep Jimin.”

 

“M’kay... Good night, Mindoong..”

 

“..good night stupid.”)

 

 

 

______________

 

A/N:

 

Hi!

 

This chapter is pretty loaded with emotions, I hope y’all are okay? Heh. Sorry but I had to write this one down because it’s part of the og plot that I told you before and I wanted to stick to it as much as possible, albeit abridged. So there’s that.

 

Oh and I have an upcoming mock exam so next update’s probably gonna be first or second week of July. I have to focus on that first I hope you understand. For the meantime, take this offering and keep supporting aespa! They are soooo cute and talented I want to give them the entire Kosmo, Kwangya, or whatever.

 

Take care of yourselves, sweets! See you on the next! :)

 

-sj