A/N: While I’ve been an assistant at a reception desk, I’ve never worked as a phone rep, so a lot of this may be inaccurate. Take all procedures in all my works with a grain of salt. Fingers crossed this comes off as crack. Also, this was wayyyyyyyyy longer than I intended it to be. Happy Irene Day!

Twenty-seven years on this planet, and Joohyun still thought that there was nothing she hated more than having to get up for the sole purpose of finding ways to sustain herself regardless of the fact that she was forced into the world without her parents asking for her consent or considering her wishes to marry an old rich guy from whom she could rip off wealth. Apparently, ‘I want to be a rich with a dead husband’ was not an appropriate response for when fifth graders were asked the question ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ and Joohyun’s parents had had to explain to both her homeroom teacher and the school principal that their child was just a little eccentric, not a future serial killer. Joohyun hadn’t known why they were so adamant on schooling her about morals and maturity and whatnot, because was it really wrong for a kid to dream big? Especially considering that she was coming up with the best, most honest answer for someone who wasn’t fond of existing with other human beings, her parents included.

But that didn’t change the fact that she was still alive in a society where interaction was necessary for survival, and Joohyun had grown up so ordinarily that she went straight from being an average student with average grades who went to an average college to being an average adult with average pay who worked an average job. The only thing that wasn’t average about her was probably her face, but considering that it only attracted average guys, Joohyun didn’t have high hopes for it saving her from her banal lifestyle.

Maybe the other redeeming (or rather, the only somewhat mildly amusing) quality of her life was the presence of three relatable (?) individuals whom Joohyun thought she could consider her work friends (or acquaintance or comrades or whatever; they were whichever word stood for ‘bound by suffering in drab offices’). Speaking of which, one came barrelling her way when she stepped into the office where all the customer service phone reps slaved away on phone lines until their ears bled and throats burned. Joohyun blinked and stepped slightly to the side, watching as Sooyoung braked a tad too late and slammed into the fake fern plant near the doorway. The fake fern and the real dirt spilled over on the nasty blue-grey carpet and Joohyun had to shift a little bit further away to prevent the wreckage from reaching her. God forbid something ruin her twenty-dollar flats that she’d been using since she got the job four years ago.

“Ow, Irene!” Sooyoung scowled and dusted off her knees as she got up and threw the plastic fern back into the pot. She scooped some of the dirt back to its rightful place but gave up halfway through and kicked the pot. Of course it hurt, and Joohyun watched as Sooyoung hopped around while clutching her right foot. “Are you just gonna watch?”

Joohyun tilted her head disinterestedly. “At least I’m not laughing at you.” Or maybe she was. Internally. Either way, she was trying to be polite, considering that they were at work. “Do you need a hand?”

Sooyoung huffed. “Geez, thanks so much for asking after I’ve already fixed everything.” Joohyun squinted at the obviously not ‘already fixed’ dirt on the floor. “Maybe you should give me a foot instead.”

“Ha ha. Very funny.” Joohyun took a sip of her extremely highly-caffeinated drink, which she was sure was deadly enough for just the fumes of whatever leaf or bean used to be enough to kill the barista. She could prove it. She was there; she was the drip machine. “Is the boss in today?”

Amber, their extremely flirty, extremely micromanaging supervisor generally only visited the office about twice a week. Not a problem with Joohyun, because she preferred not having someone stare at her computer screen from beyond her shoulder with genuine interest in whatever bull she was clicking on while talking to a customer. Amber had almost caught her playing a desktop version of Kick Your Boss’s : A Game for Workers Going Insane. Thank the lord for desktop shortcuts. Joohyun was sure that even a teenager watching wouldn’t have minimized a screen faster than she did in that moment.

“Nope.” Sooyoung finally stood up and harshly (and unsuccessfully) shoved some of the dirt behind the pot. She scrunched her nose at the scuffs that formed on her white killer stilettos (Joohyun wasn’t sure how she survived nine-to-seven shifts in them, although she supposed it wasn’t entirely implausible because they were in chairs all day). “But Wendy said she thinks Taeyeon might drop by soon.”

Taeyeon was the big boss. Like, managing director of SM Electronics big. Joohyun still wasn’t sure why she would visit the customer service call center. In her mind, big bosses like Taeyeon woke up in beds made of gold (was gold comfortable to sleep in? Joohyun supposed that if you had enough money to have a private masseur, like that didn’t even matter in the first place) and decided that it was better to work from the comfort of their luxurious rooms than to go through the effort of dressing up as to not blind the plebs and actually stepping on contaminated grounds. At least, that was how Joohyun would be in that position (this of course was how Joohyun perceived herself; no one around her thought she was capable of being that snobby or even remotely badass).

“Joy!” Speak of the devil. There was Seungwan. “Are you bothering Irene again?”

“Unnnngh,” Yerim groaned from a random corner. For someone who was extremely friendly, kind, and sociable outside of the workplace (Joohyun would know since they met up for a drink once), the girl was lethargic often. It probably didn’t help that Miss Sunshine was seated across from her.

 Joohyun walked to her seat, Sooyoung trailing her with large strides. The four of them—affectionately dubbed the four horsewomen of the workpocalypse by Joohyun—all sat in an arrangement where they were together: Joohyun facing Sooyoung and seated next to Yerim, the former two by the windows. Now, why were they the four horsewomen of the workpocalypse? Well, Joohyun would present her mini case study:

“Irene! How are you?” Seungwan asked her with a smile, professionally referring to Joohyun's workplace name. “I see you got the strongest caffeinated drink you could today too. I can smell it from all the way over here. Your attempts to grasp onto your sanity, I mean.”

“I wanna go home.”

“Hush, Yeri. We only need to get through today’s shift and it’s the weekend!”

“We work Saturdays.”

“I know! But isn’t it awesome that you get to look forward to Sunday the day after?”

Joohyun blinked mindlessly as Sooyoung genuinely fell into deep thought about Wendy’s question. Someone passed by and accidentally sneezed in their direction, which prompted the tall girl to fly up in rage.

“Susan, how many goddamn times do I need to tell you to use your hand!”

Seungwan gave Susan an apologetic smile (not that Susan seemed to care—she worked customer service, after all) and reached across her desk to pull Sooyoung down. “Joy, it’s elbow, not hand. Plus,” she continued, “you shouldn’t be cursing in the office!”

“No one pays me to be nice to nasty es!”

Susan snorted and walked to her own desk, unbothered. Joohyun had to back up Sooyoung on the fact checking for this one, because she was sure she’d seen Susan picking her nose and wiping the evidence of her crime onto her sweater (and not in a discrete way either: it dried up on her right shoulder).

“Nasty people, women, Joy.” At least she didn’t deny the nasty part. “I would really hate for you to get fired.”

Yerim groaned again.

“Maybe you should be Joy, Wendy,” Joohyun mused. “Joy’s way too angry to be anything other than Ms. Hellstorm.”

“I’m not Swedish.”

Seungwan laughed way too pleasantly for someone stuck in a grey office all day. “That’s Hellstrom, Joy.”

Yerim wailed like a dying walrus.

And so Joohyun finished her introduction of the holy quartet four horsewomen of the workpocalypse. The one who picked fights with everyone and anyone, customers and bosses included (Joy); the one with too much positivity, politeness, and energy to be humanly possible for a customer service rep (Wendy); the one who was appropriately dead inside and decided to just drop a single sound for her work name because she couldn’t give less s (Yeri); and the one who was only working in the office because she didn’t have anything else to do with her life, being an aspiring rich with a dead husband and cleaning movie theaters on Monday and Tuesdays when she wasn’t in the office aside (Irene).

Given all that, it seemed like some external, out-of-control force (presumably typing out a narrative account of Joohyun’s boring- life at a computer with dry eyes and messy hair in the attempts to write another crack fic) was trying to move onto the next portion of her day, so Joohyun settled down, practically inhaled the rest of her (pretty much) pure caffeine, and powered up her desktop. After logging in, she pulled on her headset and prayed to whatever divine beings existed, regardless of culture or power, that she wouldn’t get a call from an angry middle-aged woman trying to scam them into giving her a free, new replacement for a product, because Joohyun really hated having to blacklist customers. Or rather, she hated having to go through the procedures to blacklist customers. She didn’t give a about the actual nuisances themselves (although some were polite and told her to have a nice day after conducting a screaming session during which she mindlessly watched cat videos online).

Her phone rang and Joohyun took a deep breath, clearing to get optimal ‘yes, I actually care about your concerns even if I secretly don’t’ voice ready, and answered the incoming call. She jumped straight in with their greeting:

“Hello, thank you for calling SM Electronics customer service! My name is Irene. How may I help you today?”

§

Lunch break was thankfully an hour long at SM Electronics, and the four horsewomen (Joohyun was always reminded of centaurs when she thought of the horsemen of the apocalypse, no thanks to that Riordan person) always ended up at the convenience store to make bang for their buck, which generally consisted to sweeping whatever they could pay for then sharing their food. In an alternate universe, they could have been Fortune 500 executives. But then again, in an alternate universe, Joohyun would be born a billionaire, so all this musing just piled more annoying philosophical considerations onto her already bad enough existential complications. She wasn’t bright enough to sit all day and think about that.

“You know, the worst part about working in an office is that I can’t eat fried chicken while working,” Yerim seriously said. “They said we can’t have food and drinks near our computers.”

“ the system; pour alcohol on the keyboards,” said Sooyoung.

“At least you have less proximity to unhealthy foods!” said Seungwan.

“You act as if you give two flying s about company policies,” said Joohyun.

“Maybe I should blend my chicken and drink it through a long straw so it doesn’t spill,” said Yerim.

“No!” screamed the other three. Finally, they agreed on something.

Yerim shrugged. “Jesus, you all act like it’s a sin or something.”

“It is a sin,” Sooyoung angrily spat out. “You wouldn’t blend your friend and drink her through a straw, would you?”

Seungwan and Joohyun blinked and stared at Sooyoung. Yerim didn’t really seem to get what was wrong with the taller girl’s comparison, merely scoffing and jabbing a chopstick into a pickled radish.

“I…”

Joohyun grabbed Seungwan’s elbow. “Save your energy. We still have five hours left of our shift.”

“Letting them believe that that is a rational comparison is a sin, Irene.”

“We can’t save everyone.”

Seungwan truly looked devastated, as if she was Jesus reincarnated and had failed humankind the moment she met Sooyoung and Yerim. (Although Joohyun wasn't sure Jesus could save them either).

After finishing lunch, they had twenty minutes left, so the four wrangled their way into a crowded cafe (why couldn’t companies stagger lunchtimes???) near their work and chatted at a decibel that would allow them to hear each other over all the establishment’s inhabitants. So, approximately the level at which electric guitars played at concerts. Joohyun was too busy squinting at the menu she’d seen a million times to listen to Seungwan and Sooyoung’s conversation about whether hardcover books were sandwiches, even though she’d always get what was named ‘Bing Bing Dumb Dumb Drink Will Make Kingdom Come (CAUTION: our store is not responsible for any side effects to this drink, including but not limited to heart attacks, dizziness, nausea, insomnia, etc.),’ affectionately known as ‘Somethin’ Kinda (Very) Crazy.’ She glanced around the interior of the cafe, which was barely visible due to the pure density of human bodies inside the building, and spotted a woman frustratedly shouting at a laptop. Joohyun’s eyes automatically checked the cover. Yup, SM Electronics. Hopefully she didn’t have to submit anything soon, because only half of the support team was available for each of the two lunch shifts, and everyone called then, it seemed.

Sooyoung elbowed her to order, and Joohyun turned her attention to the exhausted-looking cashier (ah, a fellow comrade) who was barely able to engage the muscles in his cheeks to give her a polite smile. Joohyun gave him a sympathetic look and asked for ‘Somethin’ Kinda Crazy,’ to which he nodded in complete understanding. Seungwan had gotten a blue lemonade slushie, while Sooyoung was leaning halfway across the counter as the barista made her kale, cabbage, spinach, and broccoli smoothie (Joohyun had no idea why she liked green so much) with a concerned face. Understandably so, because who wouldn’t be concerned at the office worker whose idea of dessert was a greens smoothie. Even the ever-optimistic Seungwan didn’t seem to want to acknowledge that it was possible.

Yerim stepped up behind Joohyun after the latter ordered and quickly rattled out a long and complicated order that won’t be listed here because it was so hard to follow. Had something to do with unicorns and vampires and whatnot. Either way, Joohyun had tuned out sometime after Yerim mentioned whipped cream and watched the ‘just bury me alive now’ look that manifested in the cashier’s eyes. Same, bro, same.

After everyone got their drinks, they headed as slowly as they could back to office, on their drinks with the horsepower of three steamboats in order to get the cups cleared before sitting back down. Upon arriving, the four saw their managing director, who once again had been unable to adjust her twinkle and nearly blinded the employees with her dazzling beauty. Taeyeon smiled gracefully and waved at the quartet.

“Back from lunch?” Gosh, even her voice sounded ridiculously musical.

“We’re thirty seven seconds early, because we heard you’d be here today,” Seungwan said with a grin. Lord, not at her simping over the big boss. Although Joohyun had to admit that all of them were drooling over Taeyeon at the moment.

Taeyeon raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on the insignificant time gap. “I see.”

“Did you need something from us today? We don’t really see you here often.”

Taeyeon shook her head. “I just thought I’d drop by. I was visiting my girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend’s boss’s business partner’s niece’s colleague’s friend’s sister’s ex-girlfriend, who is also my friend and a pretty famous casting director.”

Way to flex your relations. Joohyun blinked and nodded silently. She could see Sooyoung furrowing her eyebrows to do the calculations.

“Yeah, but anyway. I need to leave now, but I hope you guys don’t run into too much trouble.” Taeyeon gave them a genuine look of care. “You truly are the backbones of our company. I would know, because I had to start out in this booth too.”

Well, that was new information. Perhaps their big boss was more relatable than Joohyun had previously thought. She was about to comment something heartwarming when Taeyeon spoke again.

“Of course, given that, I wouldn’t ever return to work here even if someone gave me ownership of all the companies in existence.” She scrunched her nose. “I’ll just respect you guys from a distance. Adios.”

With that, she walked off, so the four colleagues unceremoniously sat back down at their seats and got ready for the already incoming calls.

§

“Hello, thank you for calling SM Electronics customer service! My name is Irene. How may I help you today?”

Joohyun was met with an angry voice rapidly dictating how the washer flooded despite the customer buying the machine merely a week ago. Joohyun calmly asked for her information and order confirmation number, fingers quickly dancing across the keyboard to input the details, and pulled up the history she needed. It was from the newest lines of products released under the SES (Super Excellent Safety) line that promoted less than 0.0001% of floods, electrocutions, and fires, given that the machines were used somewhat properly. Joohyun nodded and asked the customer if she had inserted any materials explicitly listed as unadvisable to put in the laundry machines, which she had not, then if she had by any chance poured water into the machine, to which she hesitantly mumbled that she couldn’t remember. Joohyun internally sighed and reminded the customer that washers automatically fill up with water and don’t need to be filled. The customer meekly signaled understanding and hung up before Joohyun could finish up her farewell remarks. Oh well. It wasn’t the first time that that had happened anyway.

In the ten seconds of break she got before another call came in, Joohyun glanced at her work friends. Seungwan was smiling, unsurprisingly, Yerim had her head on the desk as she answered the call with a professionally cheery voice, surprisingly, and Sooyoung was screaming at someone again, oh lord. Joohyun’s headset reminded her of an incoming call before she could throw something at the tall girl to calm her down, so she refocused her attention to her own work.

“Hello, thank you for calling SM Electronics customer service! How may I help you today?”

“...”

Joohyun waited a few seconds, wondering if it was another prank call, then realized that she forgot to introduce herself. Well, it was too late to say it now. She bit her lip and forced a smile onto her face before speaking again.

“Hello?”

“Yeah…” There was a pause and a sharp inhale of breath before the woman answered again. “Can I get your number?”

The only expression that could describe Joohyun’s face was ??? and she briefly wondered if this was the universe punishing her for not properly conducting the company’s full greeting. She furrowed her eyebrows and glanced at the still-fuming girl in front of her; Sooyoung had a talent for absolutely demolishing the person on the other end without screaming for everyone to hear. It seemed like HR had given up on her too, because Yook Sungjae, the head of the department, was her college mentor who had scouted Joy to learn the ropes before taking on a different position, and he refused to have her cut from the job without having her learn to respectfully deal with customers first. He was trying, he really was.

Joohyun chewed her bottom lip in frustration, unsure of what to say, before sighing loudly. She settled on treating it like a prank call. “Ma’am, you already have this number, seeing that you’ve been able to call me.”

There was a brief silence before Joohyun got a reply. “No, not your company’s number. Your number.”

Joohyun laughed lightly in disbelief, momentarily forgetting her professionalism. “Why do you want my number?”

“I love your voice.”

“I-what?!”

“Your voice. It’s got a really nice and clear quality to it.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t quite follow what you mean.” Joohyun frowned in confusion. “Are you hitting on me because I have a nice voice?”

“No! I mean...yes. I mean! I’m not hitting on you, but you do have a nice voice. And I kind of want to ask you for a favour…”

Joohyun gasped. “Favour? Excuse me, but I’m a respectable customer service rep. I don’t do phone...se...that.”

From the corner of her eyes, Joohyun saw Sooyoung stop ranting and jerk her head toward Joohyun in surprise. Joohyun dismissively waved her hand.

“No, ma’am, argh, what is your name? I don’t...I won’t, I mean, ugh.” The voice huffed angrily. “The favour I’m asking for is not at all what you think—”

“Like heck it isn’t!” Joohyun cringed her face in disgust. “I can’t believe that of all the prank calls I’m getting—”

“It’s not a prank call, I swear, I just had problems with my laptop—”

“You do not sound like someone asking for help with a laptop—”

“I just...your voice was so beautiful when I first heard it, I had to—”

“Stop, stop, stop.” Joohyun shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I’ll be reporting you to our company for blacklisting if you keep harassing me like this—”

“No, please! I swear I’m not—”

“Goodbye.” Joohyun hung up and threw aside her headset. She dropped her head into her hands and rubbed her temple, groaning in exhaustion. She felt a small hand pat her shoulder and glanced to her right to see Yerim absentmindedly comforting her whilst looking half-dead herself. Joohyun smiled gratefully and sat back up to answer the new call. She still had four and a half hours left of her shift.

§

Twenty-seven years on this planet, and Joohyun still thought that there was nothing she hated more than having to get up for the sole purpose of finding ways to sustain herself regardless of the fact that she was forced into the world without her parents asking for her consent or considering her wishes to marry an old rich guy from whom she could rip off wealth. But even worse than that was when you added on the fact that Joohyun had to do this routine on Saturdays as well, when all she wanted to do was hibernate in her blanket for the full twenty-four hours of what was supposed to be the first day of the weekend. No one had to know that she transcended that of a human figure and became one with a pig on rest days. Except Joohyun was sure pigs were sloppy because they were smart enough to cool themselves off with mud while she herself was just too lazy to shower.

Forcing herself to get ready for the day, Joohyun ambled out of her building and headed straight to the nearest cafe to truly wake her body up. Upon entrance, she saw fellow zombies limply standing near the counter waiting for their drinks, so she puttered over and joined them in line, looking at the barista like she was the saviour of all office workers. God bless baristas. Actually, every god bless baristas. Joohyun didn’t have to be religious to know that they were a chosen people.

“Hello, thank you for visiting Mirotic Cafe. How can I help you today?”

Joohyun mustered the brightest smile she could for someone whose facial muscles were still not warmed up (the barista Solar— what a bright name like her presence—deserved it) and her lips. Experimentally clearing a few times so that she wouldn’t sound like a dying frog, Joohyun ordered ‘the strongest drink you can make without being arrested for murder,’ croaking in the process anyway. Solar rang up her total and asked her to wait a bit as they prepared her order.

Joohyun zombily walked to the other line of zombified careerpeople to go through the process of being unzombified with the treatment called caffeine. She blankly stared into the seating area of the cafe and was met with a familiar-looking laptop and a woman, who also looked kind of familiar, frowning at it. Joohyun blinked, and when her eyes had opened again, she saw the woman looking curiously at her, as if she caught Joohyun openly staring. Joohyun quickly turned her eyes away upon seeing the woman’s insanely intense gaze (was it hot in here or was it-oh, it wasn’t summer yet, okay) and convinced herself that she was just wondering what problem the lady had with an SM Electronics computer. Totally not because Joohyun finally got a good look at her face and almost fell head-over-heels in love. Nuh-uh. She was just brainwashed by her job.

The “diligent” customer service rep started panicking when she saw the woman stand up and head her way. Joohyun internally screamed and started creating scenarios of what she would say to her—how to not automatically say yes to her proposal and come off as too easy, how to suggest that she wanted three kids and a little garden, how to plan what colours they would paint their future house—when the barista called her order number, prompting Joohyun to rush forward with stumbling feet. She hurriedly grabbed her drink and nearly ran out the door, afraid to make a fool of herself in front of the attractive woman. When she glanced back inside the cafe, she saw the attractive woman standing in line to order, not at all facing the cafe door Joohyun left through.

§

Joohyun was greeted with a bright Yerim, dreary Seungwan, and calm Sooyoung at work, and the first thought that she immediately had was that the apocalypse was approaching them very soon, and the moment Joohyun started loving her job, the world would end. The eldest of the four sat down and raised an eyebrow, tapping her finger at the weirdly reversed states of her work friends. She turned to Yerim first.

“What’s up with you all? Did something happen overnight?”

Yerim shrugged, a smile still on her face. “I was told that I would be moved to another department soon.”

Joohyun froze. “What?”

“I think I’m getting promoted. But like, laterally.”

Joohyun jerked her thumb towards Seungwan. “Is that why she’s in the dumps?”

“No,” Sooyoung answered in Yerim’s stead. “She overheard Sungjae sunbae telling me that I’d be moved to work as a sales clerk at a department store if I keep getting complaints.”

Seungwan wailed. “I told you, that’s not it!”

“Well what is it?” Joohyun asked. “And why is Joy so calm?”

Yerim laughed. “Taeyeon told Wendy that they’re promoting her to manager.”

Joohyun frowned. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

“I like talking to people!”

Yerim made a gagging motion.

“And Joy?”

“I drugged her.”

“What?!”

“I’m kidding!” Yerim held up her hands. “Although I’m sure someone put laxatives in her croissant, because she’s been to the restroom three times in the last twenty minutes.”

Sooyoung glared at Yerim. “Just for your information, the only reason I’m calm right now is because I saw Director Kim sitting with a really cute woman this morning in that cafe we visit, and I’m wondering if she’s the famous casting director she was talking about, because I’ve got half a mind to quit this job and be an actress.” She shifted slightly. “Also, I’m only going to the restroom often because I think there’s spinach stuck in my teeth, and it just keeps reappearing every time I take it out.”

Joohyun clicked her tongue before pausing, realizing that soon she’d be the only one left in this miserable office. She was on one part relieved that the apocalypse wouldn’t happen, because she would hate her job even more if all her deskmates left, but the other part of her was terrified at the prospect of being left to suffer alone. Nodding grimly, Joohyun pulled on her headset and cleared , not really feeling in the mood to work. But alas, she was a poor soul living in a modern society and to not be productive meant no money for wifi. Enough said.

“Hello, thank you for calling SM Electronics customer service! My name is Irene. How may I help you today?”

“Ah, so that’s your name.”

Joohyun’s eyes narrowed at the chuckling voice from the day before, feeling annoyed that the weird woman had called again. She was just about to end the call when the smooth voice stopped her.

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll really ask about my laptop today. Promise.”

Joohyun pressed her lips together in uncertainty but hummed. “Alright. What would you like me to assist you with?”

The voice hummed soothingly. “I’ve been trying to open up PDF files on my computer, but every time any sort of PDF application opens, the computer freezes and I have to forcefully reboot it. I need to urgently sign some stuff, and I don’t have access to any other computers at the moment.”

Joohyun nodded. “Of course. Can I get your name, contact information, and order confirmation number?”

“Yeah. It’s Kang Seulgi, at (010) 0210-1994, and order confirmation number…-” she trailed off as Joohyun heard some papers shifting- “SM19950214.”

Joohyun quickly typed in the information and pulled up the necessary files. “So it says here that you have a CSJH Model 3 Pro; is that correct?”

“Yes. I got it because the salesperson assured me that it was the most reliable mid-range laptop on the market with special processing abilities for people who use large programs, including video editing software.”

“That’s correct, ma’am.” Joohyun clicked through some stuff. “Have you had any water damage or shock damage?” There was silence. “...Ma’am?”

“Ah, yes. Sorry.” Seulgi laughed softly. “I think your voice just did some damage to my heart.”

Joohyun frowned. Just when she thought things were going smoothly. “Ma’am, I told you—”

“Yes, I’m sorry. Must be a job addiction, haha.” Joohyun didn’t question what Seulgi meant by that. “But no, no damage. It was working fine for the past month and then it’s only recently started doing this. Like, two days ago. I tried looking online and everything.”

“I see. Let me check in with technical support and see if we can get back to you with a solution. Is it okay if I put you on hold?”

There was a long pause before Seulgi affirmed, and Joohyun quickly switched over. After a long discussion with a guy named Kyungsoo, most of which she didn’t absorb because she didn’t have the brain capacity for it, she got back on the original line.

“Alright, so it seems like they know why your computer’s acting up. I’ll transfer you to technical support, and Kyungsoo will help you solve the problem.”

“...okay.”

“Great! I’ll be hanging up after transferring you, so I hope that you are able to work things out. Thank you once again for calling SM Electronics customer service, and have an amazing day!” She quickly forwarded the customer to tech support.

“Wait, I—”

Joohyun hung up.

§

After spending her Sunday fruitfully by binge-watching three shows, Joohyun woke up on Monday with many regrets and not enough money to alleviate them. She got ready and rode the bus to the movie theater to do the first of her two day shift at the place. If there was a single advantage of the movie theater over the office, it was that Joohyun was able to move about and sometimes watch movies at really discounted rates. Otherwise, it paid less, smelled weird, and did not have any people old enough to be her work friends (the oldest employee who worked with her was twenty, and considering that even Yerim was twenty-four, Joohyun felt awkward trying to relate to college struggles at her age).

However, Joohyun was going to try to love her shift at the movie theater more. Because she saw hot cafe woman walking out of Theater 4 (followed by a group of seventy elementary school children who were on a field trip to watch the children’s cartoon in Theater 4), and Joohyun knew instinctively that the only reason she saw her so often was because the hot woman lived nearby. In her mind, hot woman living nearby = seeing her often = marriage. Joohyun nodded in determination and started making her way to the monolidded beauty to follow the will of the gods, almost in a trance, when she felt someone grab her shoulder.

“Ms. Bae? Where are you going?”

Joohyun helplessly watched as the love of her life tossed out her soda cup and left the cinema before glaring at her manager. Baekhyun raised an eyebrow and motioned for her to head to the now empty screen for cleaning.

“The next show is on in thirty minutes. No time to waste, chop chop!”

Joohyun held back her tears as she headed to the theater room, hating the fact that Dumb Dumb was playing in the lobby as if to .

Thankfully enough, hot cafe woman came again the next day, although this time around, Joohyun was stopped by an old man asking her where the restroom was.

Goddamn old people. If they weren't her parents who forced her into existence, they were too blind to see the huge , neon restroom sign.

§

“Hello, thank you for calling SM Electronics customer support! My name is Irene. How may I help you today?”

“Uhh…”

Joohyun narrowed her eyes (was this becoming a routine? Or was she stuck in a time loop? Either way, the fact that it was a recurring event within the confines of her horrific workspace made her want to vomit). “Yes?”

“Um, yeah. I...would like to get some assistance for my...headset.”

Joohyun pursed her lips but quickly started typing in ‘Kang Seulgi.’ “May I get your—”

“Name, contact information, and order confirmation number? Yeah.” Seulgi quickly rattled off the information. “My headset is...uh...buzzing.”

“Alright, I’ll get in touch with tech support, and—”

“Wait!” Joohyun frowned at the panicking voice. “Um, is there no way that you can figure it out for me instead?”

No, I don’t get paid enough for that or to deal with people like you, Joohyun wanted to say. She instead clenched her jaw and put on a cheery voice. “Sorry. I only handle transfers to other departments and service-based issues.”

“But—”

“Is it okay if I put you on hold?”

“I—”

Joohyun redirected her own line to tech support. “Hi! We’ve got a customer who has some problems with our newest line of headsets…”

§

“Hello, thank you for calling SM Electronics customer support! My name is Irene. How may I help you today?”

“Hi, Irene. I’ve got another problem, I’m afraid.”

Joohyun’s eye twitched. If it weren’t for the fact that this Seulgi person was very respectful about their exchanges, she was sure she would’ve blacklisted her for calling. This was already the sixth time since last week. Did this lady only own SM products or what? Well, sure it was good if the company did well and Joohyun had a shot at getting a pay raise, but was the sacrifice worth it? Joohyun furrowed her eyebrows in thought. Okay, maybe it was. They were all slaves to capitalism anyway.

“Hello, Ms. Kang. You don’t