Part 1

Packing My Ramen And Leaving
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"He's so embarrassing. I swear every time he makes a joke like that, I cringe so hard that my abs get more refined." Jongdae thunks his head on top of the norebang table, and some strands of his hair land in the coleslaw cup, "I can't believe I'm gonna him."

Baekhyun gives Jongdae a look which can only be described as disgusted judgement, "You don’t have to him, you do know that, right?"

Jongdae turns his head to Baekhyun with mayonnaise and minced lettuce conditioning his hair, but he doesn't look at Baekhyun, rather stares past him into the direction where Minseok is laughing his off, "No, I'm definitely gonna. I'm gonna ride him in his car. I stashed a bottle of lube in the glove compartment, I need to test it out."

One of Baekhyun's eyebrows twitches in irritated anger, "The lube? You're gonna test out lube?"

Jongdae's lips morph into a smug grin and he nods with his head still lying on the table, and more mayonnaise gets smothered on his hair- thick, white paste made grainy with white pepper- sticking strands of his hair together, covering it in a thin, almost transparent slimy film -and now instead of coleslaw mayonnaise, it looks like something else that tastes bitter. (Baekhyun knows, the coleslaw may look good but it's disgusting. And well, he found out what something else tastes like in his early college days in a rather premature accident.)

"Is that all you ever do, fish for excuses so you can shove his up your at any given moment?" Baekhyun asks, raging. (He's pissed, and not only because it's gross to think of his bestest best friend and his respectable hyung in that way, but also because he's pathetically abandoned by his Sehun who can't come back to Korea for at least another 20 hours, and any indication of people getting is an instant reminder of how he can't get any. Baekhyun hates it.)

Jongdae scoffs, "Of course not, we take turns in shoving up our asses. Why would we settle for half the dynamic when we can have all the fun?" 

Baekhyun glares at Jongdae, almost gagging at the mental image of it all. He hates how Jongdae sighs wistfully at Minseok's direction, with that serene look on his face, obviously not giving a about the awkward pain his best friend is going through. Baekhyun wishes he could rip off his own arm so he could hit Jongdae with it, or at least throw it at him. But since he's wearing a newly acquired hoodie from Sehun’s closet, he opts for the second best option which doesn't dirty the soft&sacred clothing in it's process- smashing the dry as burger he wasted his money on all over Jongdae's face. The soggy buns slips off and lands in a heap on the tabletop beside Jongdae's face, both of them somehow too slippery with frozen butter and tasteless ketchup. The patty smacks Jongdae's nose with a loud thwack, since it has been fried until all the moisture of the meat has evaporated and the patty has been transformed into a rock.

Jongdae whines under the patty with a breathy moan, "Harder daddy!"

Baekhyun gives into his twitching fingers and flicks Jongdae's neck with as much force as he can muster, and leaves a screeching Jongdae behind to drown in questionable white slime to sit with the obviously most sane person in the room, Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo looks like he's going to have an aneurysm any moment now, going by the set of his jaw and his twitching eyebrows. He could not be judging them all any harder w

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