It takes three more weeks, then Baek is finally leaving for good.

The whole office celebrates his departure, even Baek's goons.

Taehyung scoffs. 

ing wimps.

And of course Baek wouldn't be Baek if he wouldn't try to kick off one last argument to try undermining Jeongguk and him in front of everybody. With an unbecoming sneer on his face he approaches the two web developers as it's time for bidding goodbyes - not that anyone will miss him, really.

"Gay love isn't real, you pathetic pansies," he hisses in their faces.

Taehyung blinks. Part of him reels at that -head insulting Jeongguk because how dare he, ing son of a - but at the same time another part of his has already come up with a retort, mouth spouting fire at the man who degraded them one too many times.

"Well, breaking news, idiot. Literally nothing is real, your name is gibberish but you still answer to it because you crave identity and structure you pathetic ing featherless BIPED!"

Everybody is staring, Baek's eyes almost bulging out of their sockets as he fails to understand the depth of Taehyung's insult once again. Jeongguk looks at him with those little galaxies in his wide eyes that Taehyung so loves. 

Somewhere next to them, Namjoon snickers.

"Ah, the legacy of Diogenes, I see..."

Words mumbled wistfully, the short look Namjoon gives Taehyung one of appreciation. Which feels great. To know that at least someone here gets the full extent of his spiteful retorts. Taehyung feels valued. He's always preferred to beat idiots with intelligent insults beyond their comprehension level to just shouting curse words back. Seems his talent isn't wasted here.

What Baek does understand is, that he's been insulted. Even if he doesn't exactly get how so. And so, not unlike an angry child throwing a fit and running to its mum, he turns around to their boss.

"What- did you even hear what he just said?! How can you look at that as if you're praising him for spewing that bull on me, I won't have that-"

Namjoon's gaze turns from tender to piercing. He shrugs, not even deigning to look Baek in the eyes.

"You started it. And it's not like you have to endure this any longer, you are very very welcome to leave as soon as possible."

Their boss gestures at the entrance door, deceptively gentle smile back on his face. So it takes even Taehyung a moment to let it sink in, to register the venom in these words.

Baek points a menacing finger at their boss one last time before turning on his heels and leaving. With all the bravado he can muster, in a ditch attempt to save some of his dignity (there is nothing left to save but it seems Baek doesn't know that). He steps through the door for the last time, overladen briefcase in his hand, and walks down the corridor to the elevator, entering the already waiting cabin and finally stepping out of sight. The heavy glass entrance doors once more showing an empty corridor, barren of any Baek.

It might be just Taehyung's imagination but it feels like the whole building loses a long-held breath upon the departure of that hateful person. Taehyung subtly nudges Jeongguk and they give each other high-five without looking at the other.

Fricken finally.

Namjoon gives it two more minutes before whipping out the champagne.

And Taehyung and Jeongguk, they know upon the first sip that it's champagne and not some other cheap sparkling wine because they are sommeliers now, okay? They've been to a wine tasting, they know stuff! (Well okay, maybe in Jeongguk's case it was more the word 'Champagne' written in beautifully curved letters on the tag.)

Once Taehyung notices Jeongguk's fascination with the pretty tag, the younger's eyes not straying from the bottle still in their bosses hand, he may or may not get a little jealous. With a pout, he whispers to Jeongguk that he's got a nice bottle of Krug Clos du Mesnil in his apartment if he fancies a good sip of champagne that much.

Sue him.

Jeongguk only hums in acknowledgement, still staring at the bottle.

Well, Taehyung thinks bitterly, of course Jeongguk wouldn't recognize the name of the ninth most expensive champagne in the world.

His pout deepens.

There was a weird moment during their little celebration of Baek's leave when everybody was chinking glasses with everyone and Baek's goons were suddenly facing Jeongguk and Taehyung with the most fake cheery smiles ever. But they both survived the awkwardness, and soon enough everybody gets back to work.

And because Taehyung is still kinda miffed about Jeongguk's total lack of reaction towards one of the best bottles of anything he has in store, he thinks about it, about what to do. And thinks. And thinks.

He's getting his work done on auto-pilot while the gears and cogs in his head continue turning. How can he get Jeongguk's undivided attention back all for himself? Until it finally clicks. He gets out that list Minjae gave him weeks ago, remembering a little footnote that piqued his interest during his first read-over. And then he makes some reservation.

Technically he is aware that it's absolutely stupid to get jealous of a bottle but sometimes one needs a push in the right direction and sometimes that push is a little questionable. 

At lunch - with Baek gone they are not bound to any specific lunch time or location anymore, which, nice - he is half fearing to ruin his surprise. Not because he's the most terrible person at keeping secrets, that title easily goes to Jimin, but he's also not... the very best. So he's silently fretting and trying not to overshare which would have resulted in one suspiciously quiet Kim Taehyung instead, weren't it for his boyfriend. 

Jeongguk unknowingly comes to his rescue when he casually throws in that by definition centaurs should be classified as insects and Taehyung absolutely loses his .

"How could you possibly say such an outrageous thing, you depilated monkey-"

"No listen, they have six limbs. Everything with six limbs is an insect. It makes perfect sense."

"Not it does NOT you cretin-"

...Anyway. Taehyung being suspiciously quiet during lunch? No longer a problem.

(Maybe the waitress needs to re-heat Taehyung's dish because he argues so vehemently against that statement he forgets to eat altogether. Maybe Taeyhung apologizes with a very generous tip - only to continue arguing passionately until the meal has gone cold again.)

This whole argument which bears no clear winner, together with the whole fretting about how to get Jeongguk's attention - nevermind they are together and constantly on each others mind - ends up stressing out Taehyung enough that he makes a quick call to his favourite physiotherapist. He ends up lucky, with one free spot left for 7.30 pm. Taehyung takes the spot and wraps up work around seven pm, much to Jeongguk's delight.

"You never finish working that early on your own! I'm impressed, this is going in a great direction, Tae."

The younger smiles at him, leaning in the doorway to Taehyung's office and watching him gather his things.

Taehyung melts just a little.

"Yeah well, gotta de-stress," he mumbles.

That has Jeongguk snorting.

"Don't tell me it's because I opened your eyes about the true nature of centaurs."

Taehyung hisses at him.

"Yes, maybe it ing is!"

He shoulders past Jeongguk who just laughs and wraps a strong arm around his waist, pulling him back against his chest before Taehyung can really go anywhere.

"Aw babe, don't be mad." 

He places a little peck right behind Taehyung's ear, the older immediately turning into mush in his arms. It's not fair is what it is. Jeongguk knows him way too damn well, is able to play him like an instrument by now. Taehyung sulks, torn between giving into the gentle caresses on his neck or stepping out of the embrace. (Everybody and your mother knows that the second option never was an option. Of course he stays put.) 

After a while Jeongguk lets go, remembering that Taehyung was on his way to wherever. Which is a good thing, because honestly? Taehyung has almost forgotten at this point, too preoccupied with the physical affection Jeongguk so willingly gives him. Weren't it for the fact they are standing in the hallway - the end of the hallway and most of the co-workers who have their offices here long since gone but still, a somewhat public place - then Taehyung would've probably turned this into a makeout session minutes ago.

But so they part ways, both reluctant to let go, bidding each other goodnight. 

Knowing that Jeongguk won't be waiting at home for him when he comes back feels wrong.

Not spending the night with and waking up next to Jeongguk feels wrong.

Gosh.

Taehyung is a hopeless case.

Suddenly his thoughts flit from gentle kisses to making space in his apartment for Jeongguk's move-in.

What?

Nani the ?!

He needs a vacation.

Seojoon is already impatiently waiting for him when Taehyung arrives in the pristine medic enter.

"Why do you press me for an appointment last-minute just to be tardy then?" the physiotherapist complains but without real bite.

Taehyung gives him an apologetic smile. "Sorry?"

The older man harrumphs and ushers him inside a free room. 

"So, what do you need me to do?"

"Neck, shoulders, back. You know, big stress region," Taehyung says while peeling out of his shirt.

Seojoon's voice sounds sympathetic. "That bad, huh?"

"Yup."

It's not soon after he laid down on the massage table face-first that he smells the familiar light tropical scent of the oil Seojoon likes to use on him. But this time he's got a new association with the smell. His mind drifts back to a day in spring, a fun canoeing trip on an idle river. To passing dragonflies, sweaty necks, golden skin. To bulging muscles, distant competitive shouts. To "Stop looking so attractive!"

Seojoon's massage oil smells a lot like that light perfume Taehyung smelled on Jeongguk back at that day. Only minus the slightly bitterness.

Don't pop a , don't pop a -

Seojoon is on his little chair next to Taehyung, stretching his hands right next to Taehyung's head until they crack, several joints in his fingers popping. Taehyung cringes away.

"Eww dude!"

The older just laughs and starts working on his shoulders. 

"You're gonna tell me when I go too hard, right?"

"Mhm."

The pulling, pushing and kneading on his muscles increases. Taehyung groans.

"All good?"

"Mm. More."

The pressure doubles again. Taehyung grits his teeth. More pain means better results, right?

For a while Seojoon's silent and steady working on him is only interrupted by some huffs and grunts, Taehyung slowly drifting off while concentrating on the spa background music that sounds like anything bamboo and water splashes. Then the physiotherapist checks on him again.

"Still good?"

Taehyung contemplates.

"Dunno... it didn't quite pop yet."

"Pop?"

"Yeah, you know... like in the Avatar finale when Aang gets slapped against that rock and it pushes into his old wound that blocked his chakra, and the rock pushes in just right, so the whole cosmic energy in his body realigns or whatever and then he can finally reach the avatar state again? That kind of pop is what I'm still waiting for."

"...What?"

Taehyung does not end up getting his avatar pop.

But he still feels pretty good after the treatment. Nine out of ten would recommend to go again. 

...Maybe next time he should insist on a new oil though. Fighting a threatening for more than half an hour was no fun whatsoever.

Back home he almost passes out on his bed in his post-treatment mood. Almost being the keyword. Because last second he remembers there is that thing he's gotta do.

So he shoots off a quick message to Jeongguk.

To: Boyfriend Material^TM <3

Subject: stfu

 

Message:

Finish work by 5 on wed.

Im taking u somewhere after work

The answer comes almost instantly.

From: Boyfriend Material^TM <3

Subject: wtf!?

 

Message:

where and why?

Taehyung rolls his eyes. Of course he wouldn't leave it as it is. Brat.

To: Boyfriend Material^TM <3

Subject: *stuff

 

Message:

To O'ngo food and cuz I want to.

Havnt been in a while

From: Boyfriend Material^TM <3

Subject: did u even try

 

Message:

But, isn't O'ngo super fancy?

Wait whaddaya mean with havnt been in a while? U go there often?! RU a regular?!

Deep breaths, Taehyung, deep breaths. This is somehow not going the way he wants it to.

To: Boyfriend Material^TM <3

Subject: yes i did thank

 

Message:

No

Havnt been *taking u out* in a while

U gotta combine the messages genius.

From: Boyfriend Material^TM <3

Subject: dun believe u

 

Message:

...oh. Well, still a way too fancy restaurant if it is what I think it is. U realize I'm not rich like you?

And okay that's it. Taehyung is still in some mental low about the insect centaur and now Jeongguk is playing hard to get. It's late and he needs his beauty sleep. Time to get some points across.

To: Boyfriend Material^TM <3

Subject: ru kidding

 

Message:

ITS CALLED A ING DATE

I pay for you

There are like five minutes silence until he gets a timid little "oh" as response. Taehyung huffs, puts his phone away and goes to sleep.

Tuesday is awkward for the first few hours between the two of them, where Taehyung keeps rolling his eyes at the younger and Jeongguk subsequently looks away in still lingering embarrassment.

Until Yugyeom, who joined them for lunch, gives the two of them a long judging look.

"Why are you guys so weird today?"

Taehyung grunts, ignoring the muttered "Here we go" coming out of his boyfriend's direction.

"Because this idiot is dense as !"

That finally earns him a glare, the borderline shy demeanor of the younger evaporating. 

"Excuse you, I am dense?! Out of the two of us it was not me who took literal months to notice that he's been courted so you better shut up-"

"Well out of the two of us it was not me who was too dumb to recognize that blatant invitation for a date last night so if I were you I wouldn't complain like that-"

"That was literally a one-time thing, and you've been ominous as about it, how could that possibly be comparable-"

"Just admit that you're dumb-"

Next to them, Yugyeom face-palms.

"You know what guys? Forget that I asked."

Mingyu, who walks past them, gives him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Neither Taehyung nor Jeongguk notice he was even there.

They end up glaring at each other for the rest of lunch, much to poor Yugyeom's chagrin. But eventually, once the dishes are all put in the dishwasher, Jeongguk takes Taehyung's hand and tugs him out of the break room and into his office. Where they first make up - which is a matter of maybe ten seconds - and then make out.

There are still some spite and fire lingering in their veins, turning their kiss almost violent, both of them too caught up in their egos to give up control just yet. Angry make-out with Jeongguk sure is a league of its own.

It doesn't help that the younger is dressed in one fo his all black combos again, slim cotton shirt tucked into his equally tight trousers, a broad belt accentuating his small waist even more. It's been fueling Taehyung's irritation ever since he spotted the younger entering the office today. First he gives him a hard time acknowledging their date and then he dares coming to work looking like a whole meal? Dude.

His hands are roaming all over Jeongguk's broad chest, warm and almost glowing beneath the thin fabric. He nips onto the younger's bottom lip with sharp teeth until there is a hiss and Jeongguk pulls away from him, just for a moment, before his hand twists into the strands at Taehyung's nape and pulls him back in.

"Ugh, can you like, not look so ing edible when I am trying to be pissed at you," Taehyung groans into his greedy mouth, "literally I didn't ask."

The teasing smirk he gets in response is anything but assuring.

"What, can't concentrate or something? Something bothering you?"

Taehyung scowls, his right hand drifting a bit lower until he feels a hardened beneath his palm. 

" you," he whispers softly into the youngers ear, and twists.

Jeongguk's whole body jolts, almost throwing Taehyung off his lap. Yet the shock lasts only for a second or so before the younger regains his composure, cocky grin back in place.

"You wish."

Taehyung hums against his neck. Lets his mouth trail a little lower, pulling down the fabric to expose more skin for him.

"Maybe I do," he quips. And then starts a bright hickey right beneath the younger's collarbone.

Jeongguk's grip on his tightens.

"So, just so I got that right, you are inviting me for dinner in a fancy restaurant tomorrow, right?"

"No."

Jeongguk squints at him, then sighs.

"Okay, now I'm lost."

It's Taehyung's turn to feel smug.

"Good."

And just because he can, remembering how he's been left stewing over Jeongguk's previous date plans for a solid week, he adds, ", doesn't it?"

Jeongguk grumbles and kicks a pebble out of their way. 

"."

Taehyung snickers.

"Alright, now that we are back from the market we can finally get started. Everybody put on your apron and pick a cooking station... now!" Chef Wang bellows.

The maybe fifteen participants scramble to follow the instructions, Taehyung rushing with flying apron to the station right next to Jeongguk's before the spot can get taken.

Chef Wang steps up in front of the class, now too in immaculate cooking attire. 

"As you all know, we are going to cook dakbokkeum tang and japchae tonight. Is there anyone with special preferences or allergies?"

Taehyung raises his hand.

"I can't eat spicy food."

Chef Wang grunts. 

"Well, tough luck then. The spicy chicken stew is called spicy for a reason. Anybody else?"

No one dares to raise a hand after that. Taehyung just hopes there is nobody with a serious issue just too shy to say it now. And regarding himself...

"Psst, Gguk."

"Mhm?"

"Can you taste my dakbokkeum tang for me?"

Jeongguk nods, soft little smile on his face.

"Sure thing."

Taehyung gratefully smiles back.

"When I am talking, your eyes are on me and your mouths shut, gentlemen," Wang bellows.

With a flinch, Taehyung turns back to the front. Good god, he just hopes this date won't turn into a disaster with an instructor like that.

Spoiler alert: It doesn't.

Once chef Wang gets his hands on the ingredients and starts peeling potatoes, the middle-aged man turns into a completely different person. Voice turning softer, whole face relaxing as he starts gushing about how pretty and fleshy those babies are. It's... a little weird, but also endearing. And the general mood is much better now.

"I still can't believe your date plan is to have cooking classes together," Jeongguk whisper-shouts to Taehyung.

Taehyung just shrugs, brows furrowed in concentration as he peels his First Potato Ever. 

"It's fun though, no? Also great for bonding. Taking cooking lessons here is highly recommended as bonding experience for businesses, ya now."

"So you think this is a work trip?!"

"Well, I mean, we are co-workers, so..."

"Kim the Taehyung-"

Chef Wang has finished peeling his potatoes by now and starts his first checkup round.

"Mr. Kim - no, not you, sir - Mr. Kim, how are the potatoes coming along?"

"Looking good, chef," Taehyung states, a little proud of himself.

Next to him, the other Mr. Kim, a bald skinny guy in his fifties or so, sulks.

Wang gives an appreciative nod and then heads for the next row. 

"Alright, everybody please remember to not cut off too much from your babies, or else nothing is left for our beautiful stew. Now take one potato at a time and cut it in quarters, then put them in the bowl next to you."

They all give a collective "Yes chef," Taehyung almost slipping and shouting 'Yes Marco' instead. Almost. Maybe he watched too many Masterchef videos on Youtube in preparation for tonight.

The whole time while they are cleaning and cutting ingredients, Taehyung can't help but sneak some glances at his boyfriend next to him every now and then. At Jeongguk's relaxed form, the younger easily keeping up with everything their instructor says and looking almost like a professional himself. 

A hot professional. The way he rolled up the sleeves of his white and blue striped dress shirt to the elbow exposes his strong pretty arms, tattoos on full display. Taehyung feels like he doesn't appreciate Jeongguk's tattoos nearly enough. The whole setup is just a great reminder to him as to how lethal the visual concept of a cooking Jeongguk is. And the way the younger is slightly overdressed as a result of not knowing what Taehyung had in store for him for tonight doesn't make things better.

Taehyung gulps.

He clearly didn't think that through.

"Alright everybody, now please remember the water needs to properly boil before we add the noodles," Wang instructs from his spot behind the front station. "We are not adding some cereal in lukewarm milk or something, you'll want big fat bursting bubbles before you put in the noodles."

"I cook my cereal," a familiar snarky voice comes from one of the spots in the far back.

Taehyung almost dunks his own hand in the boiling water. He whips around, searching for the owner of that voice and-

There he is. Sure enough, in the very last corner stands a slim figure with an almost white bleached mop of hair, arms crossed before his chest as he stares down chef Wang.

The instructor is too perplexed to even retort something, but next to Taehyung, Jeongguk hisses loud enough for everybody to hear,

"Bull!"

The blond raises an eyebrow.

"Huh? You wanna fight, kid?"

Taehyung chokes on his spit. And only manages to catch Jeongguk's wrist last second, the younger already poised to leap over the closest cooking station.

"Call me kid one more time, you punk-"

"Jeonggukkie, drop it, trust me you don't wanna fight him."

That gets the younger to stop. Disbelief written all over his face, he turns around to Taehyung.

"Huh? You know him?"

"Uhh-"

With a loud clap, Wang regains his composure.

"Okay, everybody please keep a close eye on your noodles and don't forget to stir..."

Surprisingly, they manage to get both dishes decently done. 

Unsurprisingly, it's a lot of fun despite the constant stress and time pressure.

At the end, Jeongguk has to jump-run between his area and Taehyung's to season and taste the older's stew every few seconds along with his own. But it works. And once Taehyung starts apologizing for the extra work, the younger is quick to shut him up and assure him that it is no hassle at all.

Now all the participants are done and have gotten chef Wang's blessing for their dishes. They all start to pile their pans and pots on a large long table and then take seats to dig in and compare their dishes.

Taehyung ends up stuck between his friend across from him, the other Kim to his left and his boyfriend to his right.

As soon as Jeongguk notices who sits on the other side of the table, he starts glaring. Which, given that he's been called a kid earlier was probably to be expected. 

But Taehyung can't be bothered with the younger's antics right now, not when he's got so many questions. He is still a little shook, a lot in awe.

"How come you are here too, hyung?"

The other gives Jeongguk a lazy smirk that's obviously meant to set the younger's blood boiling before turning his whole attention to Taehyung, dismissing Jeongguk completely. Jeongguk's grip on Taehyung's hand under the table tightens uncomfortably.

"Why, to see my precious dongsaeng, obviously," he drawls.

"How did you- wait, did you bug my computer?!"

The blond huffs in affirmation.

"Well I wouldn't have to, if you would contact me more often and keep me updated on how you're doing. But nooo, all I get is three years of radio silence and then you text me out of nowhere to bug some 's computer beyond repair. Tsk, tsk, that's not how friendship works, Taehyung-ah."

"You could just have called?"

"Ah, but the real question is, would you pick up?"

"What, of course I would-"

Next to him, it seems Jeongguk has pieced the loose parts together, his grip on Taehyung going slack and eyes widening.

"Wait, you are the one who bugged Baek's computer?"

"The very one," Yoongi nods solemnly.

At the head of the table, Wang is giving some tips and critique to every pot that passes him. Taehyung mentally marks their own cooking results so he tunes back in on time, but their pots ar still a fair distance away from the instructor, still have to pass a couple more hands first. For now they still have some time. Which is good, as Jeongguk seems to become engrossed with the hacker across from them.

"So you are not an , then!"

Both the blond and Taehyung snort at that. 

"Careful," the latter mutters, "he might take that as a compliment."

Sharp eyes flit back and forth between the couple, then the man perches his chin on a hand and grins.

"So you are the boyfriend," he concludes, eyes on Jeongguk. Assessing.

Jeongguk straightens up at that, chest pushing out a little. He looks so damn proud, Taehyung wants to squish his cheek. Adorable.

"The very one." 

And like an afterthought, he extends a hand over the table. 

"Jeon Jeongguk, nice to meet you."

The hacker shakes his hand, a genuine little smile slowly stretching over his face.

"Name's Min Yoongi. But I also answer to Min Suga, Min Genius, cool hyung or mister jjang jjang man boong boong."

"Oh my god," Taehyung exclaims with an eye-roll. "Literally nobody ever calls you mister jjang jjang man boong boong-"

"Yes, people do."

"-No one."

Jeongguk looks a little lost.

What a cutie.

And maybe they would continue their bickering but it's just then does Taehyung notice chef Wang grasping for his very first try on japchae. 

"Whose this?"

He raises a hand. Wang nods at him.

"Not bad Mr. Kim, maybe be a little bolder with the seasoning next time but all in all very good. I would leave the noodles in the water for another minute. If you are not sure about the texture, don't hesitate to pull out one for a test bite, yeah? Good, next..."

And so on. They halt their conversation until the instructor is done with both dishes from Taehyung and Jeongguk, Taehyung taking mental notes of all the advices they get. He's glad chef Wang doesn't mention anything about how Jeongguk has obviously done the main part of seasoning Taehyung's dakbokkeum tang. That would've been embarrassing.

Yoongi quietly clears his throat.

"Anyway, Taehyung-ah, back to business. Your douchebag dude quit this week, yes?"

He nods.

Yoongi hums.

"Just thought maybe you'd like to hear about the final gift I made him."

"Huh?"

The blond gets out his phone and turns it around to show him a screenshot. The picture shows a photograph of a tangerine, with the sub heading 'Consider this a ing warning.'

Taehyung is confused.

"What- what is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," the hacker snorts, "but it'll surely mess with that . Had it pop up on all of his devices and freeze the screen for a few minutes. Dude's dumb enough to constantly keep his computer and phone connected so once I've been in one, I could walk in right through the front door to everything else."

"This is-"

"Insanely cool and hilarious," Jeongguk declares.

And uh-oh. His eyes are shining. Taehyung has a very bad feeling about what's to come next...

"Teach me your ways, hyung."

Taehyung sighs.

He called it.

Heya guys~

MERRY CHRISTMAS (what about Pippin Christmas?!) AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I know, I know, I am super late. Guess what? First I was super stressed out before christmas, and then I got sick on New Years. Still am. Yay! Way to start 2022. Uhm. Sorry for the late update. But hey, at least we now know the answer to the question "Will I be able to finish this fic til the end of 2021?" and the very obvious result is: Nope, not at all.

So this chapter was supposed to be the final one but, again, guess the frick what?! I got sidetracked. Because of course I did. The initial plan was that they go on a date, go home, have some steamy (finally!) and then Jimin comes and they goof around and end. But then I was like hey why not send them to a cooking class? And I got a nice comment regarding Yoongles' appearence in this story and sooooo... yeah.

Anyway, hope you are all well and had some fun reading this. I sure had my fun writing (especially the bickering. The bickering is always a delight hehe~)

See ya hopefully soon ^^