The Girl Lost in Dreams

Who Do I Love?

Shin Ah Yeong took in the beauty that her surrounding presented before her as she closed her favorite comic that she was currently reading. The spring was already making its presence visible. The air laced with the peach blossom’s sweet fragnance blew through her waist length dark hair. A content smile plastered on her lips as she couldn't help bet feel grateful for stumbling in this place 2 years ago.

‘Beautiful’ was an understatement since this place was beyond beautiful. Whoever named it ‘Elysian’ wasn’t joking as this garden lived upto its name. The cherry blossoms tree covered most of the garden and a Japanese styled pagoda with a castle attached behind it, in the centre. The peach blossoms surrounded the corners of the castle, under one of which she was currently sitting. Other than the trees, the garden had a small lake in front of the castle, flower beds of roses, peonies, tulips was spread in small patches across and a lone swing tied in one of the trees near the lake which automatically became her favorite. Everything about this place was enchanting. Who would have believed that this place existed somewhere in the hospital premise? Definitely not Ah Yeong.

 

In the span of two years whenever she came here, this place never failed to give her the solace she needed at such times. If only she could own this place but well it’s a foolish dream and if these words got to the hospital administration she will be in real trouble. From what she has heard, this decade old garden only took one year in total to be completed as per the Chairman's special request. She can’t help but feel grateful towards this person because it was her escape whenever she wanted to run away.

“The weather is nice.” She spoke dreamily “Perfect for a date.” She glanced towards Jeong Hyo Son who was also absorbing the view just like her. They were so similar just like sisters and compatible like soulmates. She met Hyo Son in her first semester when she joined Yonsei University. She was her roommate in the dorms; at first they both ignored each other for an hour or two because as per Hyo Son, Ah Yeong seemed untouchable and too perfect for her taste while for Ah Yeong she was not really good with meeting new people. But who could’ve thought that the ice breaker between them would be a cringe romantic comic they both loved dearly, they talked about it all night till the morning almost missing their orientation ceremony and well that’s how their friendship started.

“My Lady~” Hyo Son winked at Ah Yeong making her giggly, “How about we go on a date tonight? You, me and my car.” She added dramatically pretending like that one playboy who once used to hit on her during University days and it was one of the many dialogues he tried on her; it didn’t made her giggly like she did right now but it definitely prompted her to threaten him to the point where he was scared to even make an eye contact with her. Well, it worked to say at least.

“I would love to but…” Ah Yeong made a dramatic pause before continuing “I am little busy today.” She tried to give her best friend the puppy eyes and pout while playing along with her antics.

“Don’t worry my lady, oppa will-”

“Yah! Yah! Yah! Pinch me. Pinch me harder. I am not dreaming right.” Park Chunghee shouted suddenly before shaking both the females vigorously making their head go dizzy. Hyo Son, who was still clutching her chest as if her heart will leap out of it any minute, was the first to come out of her shock as she started hitting the male while Ah Yeong glared at him for ruining the mood.

“You Punk, how many times do I to tell you to not scream like that but you never get it.” Hyo Son spoke as she pulled some of his hair.

“It’s not a dream.” He was beaming like maniac despite getting beaten mercilessly.

“What is not a dream?” Ah Yeong asked suddenly curious at his strange behavior but it was nothing to begin with. Park Chung Hee was a strange person which didn’t get well along with his IQ of 155, good looks and thick wallet. Ah Yeong still can’t get out his image out of her head when Hyo Son and her first encountered him during the orientation ceremony when he appeared in a freaking suit which looked more like a painter’s canvas than a piece of cloth and it was more weird that they clicked along pretty quickly.

“My God; my Idol; my inspiration; Do Kyungsoo is coming back to Korea next week.” Chunghee answered dramatically which left the two women gaping at him in horror. ‘Not again’ Ah Yeong prayed internally already thinking about an escape plan. The conversation about Do Kyungsoo never ended well for her unlike Hyoson. It’s hard to pretend not liking that guy who was the epitome of a perfect boyfriend she always wanted; polite, smart, good looking and cherry on top sweet. He was everything she has seen in any fictional characters she has come across so far, the second lead kind of guy who always came to the heroin’s rescue but rejected at the end for the indifferent, rude and cold male lead. How can she not fall for Do Kyungsoo when he was so perfect but how can she fall in love with someone whom she hasn’t encountered in reality. He was just like the fictional characters, the one she could only desire about but can’t have. ‘What ifs’ like he might be happily married well divorce can be a possibility too; is not as good as how Chunghee exaggerated but Chunghee was good when it came to evaluating people and he wasn’t someone to worship a person so blindly. Her rational mind too spoke in his favour so before she could fall anymore she avoided any conversation about him plus she can’t admit about her huge crush for Do Kyungsoo knowing she will be teased about it forever. But before she can come with any idea the excited male broke the silence which he apparently thought was ‘full of suspense’.

“But you know what the real tea is.” He wiggled his eyebrows still unaware of his uninterested friends who were already packing their stuffs.

“So about the date, I will meet you at the parking lot around eight.” Hyoson spoke completely disregarding the hyper male who was anticipating some kind of reaction from them.

“Cool, see you later.” Ah Yeong got up before walking towards the exit.

“Shin Ah Young!!!” Chung Hee shouted behind her halting the female in her steps, “If you dare to move even a single step I swear in the name of Do Kyungsoo that I will tell Cha Min Hyeok that you agreed for the date with him.” The threat worked as Ah Yeong went back to her previous seat rendering the male smirk in victory.

“You are so mean.” Ah Yeong muttered

“Not more than you.” He countered back

“Yah! Just tell whatever you were going to tell. I don’t have time.” Hyo Son gestured to hurry up in turn offending the male who glared at her with accusation.

“Sometimes I don’t understand why I am even friends with you two.” He started his rant as the two already braced themselves for more scolding to come. “You both are such a bad friends, whenever it is your turn to talk about your some random comic plot, weird for fictional characters or you want to curse at someone you always run to me with Chunghee this, Chunghee that. I always listen to you both even it’s the most illogical thing in the world but whenever it’s my turn you both run away like I am talking about how I e while imagining it doing with pigs. You only-”

“Wait you imagine about pigs while ing.” Hyo Son cut him off in middle of his rant bursting into laughter while Ah Yeong tried to suppress her giggles. The scandalous image of him making out with a pig was already bubbling in their dirty minds.

“Well, I am not surprised because he was a whole different species to begin with.” Ah Yeong said between her giggles.

“Wow, just wow; out of everything I said you only heard that part. Well I am done with you two; in future if you want the latest edition of your favorite comics” He glared at both the female before continuing, “then just get on long queue like everyone does and don’t even think about calling me.” He got up angrily sending daggers through his eyes. This was bad; both the females of them looked at each other in shock and worry before running after the male with a string of apologies leaving their mouths.

 

It was a hectic day for Ahyeong and all she wanted was a warm bath and good sleep. After doing her usual rounds in the maternity wards she came back to her chambers to pack her belongings. She looked at her desk calendar to check if she has any plans only for her eyes to widen in shock.

How she could forget? Glancing at the clock she sighed in relief. She still has one hour for the meeting, enough for her to go home and freshen up.

***

“You are late.” That was the first thing she heard when she entered the private dining space. Shin Sang Hun was strict a man and being late was one of his biggest pet peeve even if it was by only one second. Sometimes she doesn’t understand, if this was how he was born or if it is the money that made him that way. Well, owning a big company in Korea can definitely make you arrogant enough to belittle anyone even if it was your own daughter.

“I apologize for making you wait.” For a whole one minute. She gave them a ninety degree bow.

“Come here sit down.” This time it was her mother, Han Mina. Her tone lacked the warmth, a mother usually possess when they meet their child after a long time. In contrast, she was cold and distant like Ahyeong was never her child to begin with.

“Yes eomonim.” Ahyeong replied before taking the seat in front of them, her countenance neutral with a plastic tiny smile.

“I already ordered since you were getting too late.” She informed while her scrutinizing gaze sending chills down her spine. “You must realize not everyone has all the time in the world unlike you.” She added with bitterness in her tone.

Ahyeong suppressed her urge to grit her teeth or counter her with a sassy reply but she knew better it will only worsen the atmosphere so she kept her head down to avoid any of those.

The waitress started filling their table with different dishes, none of it her favorite. Can’t they act like parents for once just like how other normal parents do; doting on their kids, supporting them, and treating them like they are too precious for this world. When she first met Hyoson parents she was appalled by the fact that this is how it felt to be cherished and loved. The delusion she lived in, that her parents truly loved her and it was their only way they showed their love, was shattered and so was her heart. She cried all night about it, if it wasn’t for Hyoson and Chunghee who consoled her; she might have believed that everyone who were around her saw her as someone insignificant and didn’t love her.

“I heard you ditched the date with Mr. Lee of Finex agency in the middle just because of your so called emergency call.” Her father spoke calmly breaking her chain of thoughts. She looked up only to find both of her parents looking at her with their gaze gesturing her to answer while the waitress who served them already left. For how long was she zoned out? The calmness her parents wore was just a façade which very efficiently hid the thunderstorm beneath but Ahyeong knew better. Quietly sighing through her nose very well aware of the fact that excuses was not something they were looking for.

“I am sorry. I-” She tried apologizing only for her father to slam the table to shut her off.

“‘Sorry’ that’s it. Do you have any idea how much humiliating it was to get taunted by someone so lowlife like him? If it wasn’t for his relations with Baekdo Corporations I wouldn’t even have spared a glance at him, forget about marrying my daughter to him. But my incompetent daughter failed to impress him because apparently her patients are more important than her own parents who brought her up, fulfilled her demands and gave her the comfortable and lavish life. What an ungrateful witch you are?” He spat.

“The ladies in my club mock me behind my back that how the perfect daughter we boast about can’t even score a husband.” Her mother ranted “Mrs. Kim even dared to ask, if my daughter was a lesbian.” She added with disgust.

So this was what this month’s agenda is all about and here she thought for once they missed her.

“I wish I was a lesbian too but unfortunately for me eomonim, God wasn’t that cruel to let me live in more horror. Now that I think about what you could have done to me if I was one scares me to the core.” Ahyeong spoke her thoughts out loud halting her parents taunting session. When she realized what she has done it was too late to take those words back. The glares they were sending towards her, was enough to make her shrink; she knew, what was going to come and it scared the hell out of her.

“What did you say?” The lividness in her father’s eyes said a lot. She was so scared to even speak a word let alone standing for herself and before she knew it her mother got beside her as she grabbed handful of her hairs while turning Ahyeong to face her.

“Your pretty little mouth is only supposed to apologize, compliment, and say good things to impress people like the perfect doll you are. I didn’t put all my energy and efforts on you to say bad things like that to your parents. Next time if I hear such things you do know what can I do right, my dear daughter?” Her mother gritted in her sickly sweet voice that didn’t matched her cruel words.

Ahyeong nodded her head vigorously in submission. It was the truth though that she was just a doll meant to follow her parents without questioning why. This was how she was, this is the only way she could survive their wrath. She can be stamped as a coward who lacks the spine to escape them but what others didn’t knew was that after escaping them where will she go. Besides them she has no family, of course her friends were always there for her but she craved for the family which she can proudly call her home even if that home didn’t gave her any comfort. The delusions in which she lived for years still lingered even after the revelation 5 years ago. She wants to accept that her parents were toxic but she can’t even if it made her look like dumb and insensible, she just couldn’t want to leave her parents because it was all she had. The invisible leash that bounded her with her family was too strong for Ahyeong to break.

“Apologize to your father” The grip on her hair tightened accompanied by a pinch in her arm. Ahyeong bit her lips to prevent any form of sound escaping her lips and tears almost lining in her eyes

“I-I am s-sorry Abeoji, it won’t happen next time.” She stuttered in her trembling voice.

“There won’t be a next time.” Her father said in his stern voice “Now eat”.

Ahyeong who already lost appetite tried to swallow whatever that was served on her plate along with her tears. It was the first time she has rebelled and if she continued to do so she don’t know what will happen. There was a point in her life when she thought that if they married her away then at least she could have her own family and wouldn’t have to bear with them in the future but well getting married was equally difficult. The dates that were arranged for  her never ended well on a good note, some of them were either erts or cynic. Only if she gets a husband, who truly cherished her by accepting her imperfections hidden well beneath her perfect façade she will be content. It was just a wish she truly wanted to get fulfilled.

The Ending Note:

I was supposed to post this chapter on Monday but I guess I am not that patient. This chapter might be boring for many but it will act as a base for more chapters to come. The focus of the first two chapter will be more on the OC so in future you can relate to her emotions and decisions. So bear with me for a little for a roller coaster ride awaiting in the future.

Thank You!

 

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Stick
#1
Chapter 16: Baekhyun stop being an . Exactly what is your problem huh...poor ahyeonggieT^T
Nicole121314 #2
Chapter 16: Poor Ahyeong. She want to do something and yet can't do it. I'm just wishing Ahyeong to be happy in near future...
Blehhhbambix #3
Chapter 16: I love the details you wrote. The agony and build up pain, torment our dear Ahyeong faces on a day to day basics. If we were to think about it, there a reason why Ahyeong acted in such a way. Her not standing up for herself, not telling her close ones the issue she facing, her fake optimism, her trauma from the abusing relationship she experienced. She simply cant say it out because at the end of the day people around her (especially the one that inflict pain on her) would somehow win against her. At the end she accept the pain willingly despite her withering slowly.

Whatever driven Baekhyun to be this cruel to Ahyeong deserve a great explanation. The amount of time my heart bleed for ahyeong due to Baekhyun indirect torment. But the part that seriously pissed me off would be how he handed Ahyeong back to her parents knowing well what she will suffer later on. The main abuser aka her parents that caused Ahyeong all her trauma and suffering. And he even “ruin” her career by letting her served suspension notice. Her career is probably the only good thing in ahyeong life. And i know he indirectly care for her. But in a sense his nightmare with Ahyeong killing herself would come true in another version in the reality world if continue.

Ahyeong do admire and maybe love baekhyun as he is her husband. But as this goes on, the fine line of hatred and love is getting thinner. Maybe we would get a better version of ahyeong when she stop loving others (e.g Baekhyun) and start caring for her own well-being first! And whoever the mysterious person that paid for sauna deserve to appear in her life.

Thank you for updating!
Qexora #4
Chapter 15: oh no😭ah yeong ah😭
Nicole121314 #5
Chapter 5: Hope that whatever Shaman says to her will be helpful for her
Nicole121314 #6
Chapter 4: Delusion or dreaming..?? She should know what is happening to her now...
Nicole121314 #7
Chapter 3: So the chapter earlier is just a dream - a wet dream... naughty AhYeong hehe
Nicole121314 #8
Chapter 2: Does it really happened? Or just a dream with AhYeong??
Nicole121314 #9
Chapter 1: Having parents like that for sure will be my trauma...
tonnettie
#10
Chapter 15: Don’t doubt yourself, trust in the process