I was back in the club again and I could feel his hands on my body as I tried to get out of his grip. But.. he'd tied me to the table. I cried and screamed for someone to hear me.
"HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME" I yelled. I couldn't go through this again. Not when I had just recovered from it.
His hands s down my stomach and drew circles on them. I gagged and sobbed as he continued downwards.
No one heard me. I could see my parents, my friends, random people just walk by while I screamed and thrashed. I looked up through my teary eyes meeting a pair of evil eyes which were lidded with lust waiting to ravish my body. I screamed my lungs out shattering all the mirrors in the room and my eyes shot open.
I shot up from my bed in cold sweat as I looked around to find myself in my room, in my house. I... Was safe. I was fine. I wasn't there. I was okay. I am in my clothes and in my bed. Once I calmed my raging heart and mind I stood up and treaded over to the bathroom. I felt tears falling from my eyes as I stood before the mirror. I was tired. Tired of trying to look fine. Tired of trying to stay strong. But beneath my mask, I was broken. Despite therapy and all that I hadn't been able to heal. The only reason I tried was for my daughter. I'd never want her to suffer the way I did. Never. Not if I could do something about it. Nope. And so I tried. Every day I tried resurrecting an image around me hoping people would begin to think I was getting better. And it worked eventually. People finally believed all my smiles, my laughs, my interest in topics I never really cared about. I bent over the counter staring at myself through the mirror. Who had I become? Who was I now? I knew I'd changed, but.... would I ever be normal again?
I closed my eyes but no tears fell from them this time. Months of practicing to smile and laugh in front of the mirror had helped me master the technique. And there were tons of YouTube videos to help you with it. What I'd done was apply a thick coat of concealer to conceal myself within the layers of makeup to make myself look pretty on the outside while on the inside I was a mess. Four years had passed, but I was still in a mess. Unable to move on and heal. Unable to smile at life other than the moments I was with Naomi and she did something that would make me crack a real smile. I washed my face before heading back to bed since I had to go back to the hospital in a few hours. I still had a job to do. Even if I was broken and aching, I still wanted to help others and not let them suffer like I have been. I had already diagnosed myself with the whole situation. I had nightmares every single night where in things would happen to me. In some people watched as I got laughing and pointing fingers at me while in others I watched my friends and family turn away in disgust looking at me clutching my clothes in my chest sobbing and asking for their help. It was always that scene. Nothing else. I needed to move on, but I was scared. Scared of so many things. I couldn't walk in the dark anymore. So I always slept with a faint light illuminating my room. I had one in the hall and kitchen and Naomi's room which I would turn on before going to bed. I couldn't attend parties anymore. Every time I heard music or saw people dancing in crowds, I'd begin to shake and panicking. So I cut myself off from the social world. I'd stopped doing everything I loved and focused on Naomi and Naomi only. She was my anchor to this world and everything I did was for her. Because I did not want her to wake up crying in the middle of the night or screaming or being haunted by ghost hands all over me or walking in brightly lit hallways and yet feel scared. I wanted her to be safe and brave. But for now, I'd seal myself in a shell and try to heal as best as I can on my own while I sauntered around the world using a mask.
"You're doing great. Now gently and slowly take a step towards me.. Yes.. That's it. Slow and steady.. Good job!" I cheered with a slightly strained smile as the young boy who'd met with an accident seven months ago was finally able to put his weight on his legs and move slowly. I left him with the physiatrist to help him strengthen his legs while I decided to check on the files I'd requested.
I went in my office and flipped open the file. Sana's file. Her case had been annoying me. Her rather fast paced recovery had gotten me to freak out and ask the nurses to run a bunch of tests. I frowned as I went through the results. I.. Didn't know what to make of it, so I decided to talk to whoever was there in Sana's room after I checked in on her. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. Work was getting to me. And not to mention I had to pay back my loan installment by the end of next week. And I had to get the insurance for my new house finalized. Things weren't going great for me. Luckily my brother having popped up from nowhere was one good thing. He'd volunteered to watch over Naomi so that I could work without worrying about her. I rotated my neck trying to reduce the soreness before I grabbed my coat and things and walked out to finish my job.
I was walking up to the reception when a patient was rushed into the hospital on a stretcher. She was badly wounded and it looked like she'd have to get a couple surgeries. My mind began to make note of all the damage she'd taken and I'd already- no. I wasn't in that field anymore. I looked away from the scene as nurses and doctors began running around getting the operation theater prepped and ready.
I moved aside to let the doctors pass and only when the coast was clear did I approach the reception desk.
"The patient in 117, which hospital did they transfer from?" I asked
"My new patient in 117, which hospital did she transfer from?" I asked again as she placed the phone back on the desk.
"Ah.. Just a second Dr Hirai.... Um.. Minatozaki Sana?" she asked looking up. I nodded in answer as she read through some transfer documents.
"Doc, it says that she was transferred from JYS Medical Centre."
"Huh.." I grunted as I nodded and headed up to Sana's room. Why did they have to transfer her here? I mean.. I just found it weird.
I hesitantly knocked on Sana's ward waiting for someone to answer. Technically I could just walk in, but I just didn't feel comfortable to go in like that.
The door opened and I forced a smile on my face as I saw all 7 of them inside. I walked in and went over to Sana.
"How are you feeling today?" I asked as I made note of her vitals.
"Good, since you finally came to see me" She said and I tried to keep an indifferent face. Trying to stay