Chaeyoung leans against the railing with a sigh and takes in the sight in front of her. It was as if she was comparing current Jennie with her memories from five years ago.

 

Those eyes.

 

Jennie felt like she was staring into her soul.

 

The brunette wishes she could do the same. She wanted to ask about Byul but she was scared, most importantly she wanted to know if she knew about it.

 

“Something wrong?” Chaeyoung asks, studying the brunette with the piercing gaze.

 

“Um, no, I just…” Jennie fumbles for an excuse. “Hate coming home. I’m not even sure I was ready. I just felt like I had waited too long.”

 

“At least you still call it home.” There was a hint of sadness on her voice and Jennie wondered just how much she missed.

 

“You’ve got me there.”

 

Because she was right. Even after five years away from town, she feels far more like she was coming home than visiting family.

 

“Well I’m glad you took a chance on us.”

 

They continue to talk, nothing too deep simply catching up in a sense. The more they talked the more the tension disappeared. Jennie missed just speaking to her. She supposes her question can wait. She doesn't want to spoil this by asking about the affair. Not yet, at least.

 

Chaeyoung glances at the door as her daughter rushes by, stopping to wave at her both before she’s distracted by the dog. There was a loving smile on her face, the kind that only a mother could have.

 

“She’s grown so much.”

 

“Time goes by so fast.” The blonde answers. “Even though she barely remembers her other mom, it hurts Evie to know she walked out on us.”

 

The brunette feels anger just at the thought. It's been a few years since she left, but the thought of her throwing her family away still makes her blood boil.

 

“How could a mother just walk out on her little girl?” Jennie wonders outloud. “Have you heard from her since she left?”

 

The blonde sighs as she shakes her head. “Not a damn word.” She says, a tone of frustration in her voice. “As far as I can tell, she’s never looked back.”

 

“I can’t believe she’d do that to her daughter, to you.” Jennie said, upset. “You were always so good to her. Any woman would be lucky to have you as a wife. And Evie… man that girl is adorable.”

 

Chaeyoung gives a long sigh and shrugs as she stares out at the snowy yard.

 

“I don’t know.” She says. “Sometimes I think I pushed her too hard. I wanted to settle down and raise a family, but maybe Suzy just wasn’t ready to be a mom.”

 

Jennie frowns. “What do you mean?”

 

“I feel like… like maybe I was too focused on my work. To be honest, I blame myself more than I blame Suzy.” She admits. “I can’t help but wonder if I pushed too hard and didn’t help enough.” She releases a breath. “She wasn’t ready, and I ruined what we had by pushing her.”

 

“Are you kidding me?” Jennie exclaims, because Park Chaeyoung will not blame herself in front of her, nah uh, not on her watch. “It is NOT your fault she left.” She says firmly. “Suzy chose to marry you, and to have Evie. You didn’t lock her in your kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. You wanted a partner. If she was unhappy, she should have talked to you.”

 

Chaeyoung looks at her for a second before giving a weak shrug, seeming unconvinced.

 

“Maybe she tried. Maybe I didn’t listen…”

 

Jennie would laugh at the thought if seeing her so unhappy didn’t make her chest ache.

 

“I know better than anyone how good a listener you are.” She tells her, earnestly. “Maybe it was never going to work, but that’s not on you.”

 

“Sometimes I wonder if Evie blames me.”

 

“I’m sure she doesn't,” Jennie reassures her. “And even if she did, she’d grow out of it. Try not to worry so much.”

 

Of course it’s easier said than done, but Chaeyoung sighs and nods.

 

“Thanks, Jen.” Chaeyoung said with a small smile. “You always did know what to say.”

 

“I’m just sorry I wasn’t around to say it when you needed me most.”

 

“You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

Jennie felt guilt flooding her once again. She didn’t know CHaeyoung was carrying all this, she wondered how long she had been feeling this way. If she knew maybe… maybe she would’ve called or kept in touch somehow. All she can do know is be there for her, even if she can’t stay. Jennie makes a promise to do more to keep in touch.

 

Chaeyoung glances back at the door as her daughter rushes by with Dalgom causing both adults to chuckle at the sight.

 

“At least she seems happy. I try to do right by her.” She said, her brow creasing with motherly concern. Love and warmth shining in her eyes.

 

“I’m sure you do right by her. You are a wonderful woman and you are raising a wonderful kid. She’s such a bright, cheerful kid. you two are always happy in photos”

 

Chaeyoung chuckles again. “Well I wasn’t about to send you photos of her throwing a tantrum!” She jokes.

 

“You know what I mean!” Jennie retorded. “She’s happy, healthy, she has good grades… you’re doing everything you can for her.”

 

Chaeyoung smiles gratefully at her. Relieved to hear it. “Thanks, Jen.”

 

“I’m sure Hyun woo and Eunae have said the same thing!”

 

“They have, but it means a lot to hear it from you.” She answers, putting an arm around the brunette in a loose embrace. “You were a great mom.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

There was still a little pain when she heard those words, but these days it was more of a dull ache, something she had gotten used to feeling.

 

“You should come by later.” Chaeyoung says. “Evie was so excited when she heard you were coming back to town.”

 

Jennie smiles. “I´d like that.”

 

As they continue to talk about Evie, Jennie can’t help but wonder if Chaeyoung wants more of a family. She was a beautiful woman and a great mother. She’s surprised there wasn’t anyone swooning in the streets or making a line for her.

 

“So, are you seeing anyone?”

 

“What?”

 

“You know like romantically.”

 

“Oh. No.” She shakes her head. “Haven’t seen anyone since Suzy.”

For some reason Jennie feels a twinge of disappointment at hearing this. “Are you still in love with her?” And the brunette now finds herself holding her breath as she waits for her answer.

 

“No.” The taller girl answers. “That ship has sailed. I wish things could be better between us, but I’ve moved on.”

 

Jennie releases a breath in relief. That was good. She deserved better.

 

“I’m glad you were able to move on with your life.”

 

Chaeyoung sighs and nods. “It was hard at first, but I focus on Evie. She deserves a steady home life.” She says. “But I do wish there was someone around who loves her as much as I do.”

 

“Then why not date?” The brunette questions. “I’m sure you could have your pick of the citizens around town.”

 

Chaeyoung laughs and looks a little bashful. The blush is sweet on her usually stern face. It was cute. The handsome town sheriff looking shy.

 

“I wouldn't say that.”

 

“You always were the dark, broody handsome rebel back in high school. The jacket´s different now, but it’s still leather.”

 

Chaeyoung chuckles. “Now you’re just teasing me!”

 

“I would never!”

 

The two share a laugh and Jennie once again realized just how much she missed her and her humor.

 

Chaeyoung’s still grinning as she shakes her head. “I don’t know if I want to go through that again. I want to give Evie something steady and reassuring.” She explains. “If she got attached and things didn’t turn out... “ She sighs, her face twisting with pain and weariness.

 

Watching her the shorter girl can’t help but wonder if it was Evie’s heart she was worried about, or her own?

 

“It seems safest to just focus on her, and on my work.” Chaeyoung continues.

 

“I suppose. I just don’t like you being alone.”

 

“I’m not that lonely. I have Evie, I have the Gwons, Alice is moving back next month and now I have you.”

 

Jennie looks away at that, but before anything else can be said, Evie drums on the glass door with her hands.

 

“Come back inside! Eunae has christmas cookies!”

 

“Coming, bug!”

 

---------------------------------

 

Once inside Jennie lets out a happy sigh as the smell of cookies fills her nostrils.

 

Just then Jisoo makes her way inside as well, Eunae preparing her a cup of hot choco in that instant.

 

“Where did you run off to?” Jennie said, accepting her second cup of hot chocolate.

 

After taking a zip of her drink, Jisoo responds. “I had a phone call to make, Joy and I are looking for a storefront for our bakery.”

 

“Maybe I can help you find something.” Jennie offers. “I’m still a licensed real estate agent here.”

 

“That would be amazing! Thanks, Jen.” Jisoo said with a smile.

 

“How’s Joy, anyways?”

 

Jisoo shrugs weakly and sighs. For some reason, she looks nervous. “About as well as you’d expect it took her a while to put the pieces of her life together again. I love my brother but what he did to her was wrong.”

 

Turns out, Jennie wasn’t the only one who ran from Shadow Creek after the accident. After the funeral, Suho took off without warning, leaving behind a goodbye note… and his fiance, Joy.

 

Jennie see’s Chaeyoung’s brow furrow at the mention of Suho’s and Joy’s past together, she wonders if maybe she’s thinking of how her own wife left her. Hidden behind the stairs from the others, the brunette reaches out and squeeze’s the sheriff's hand reassuringly, getting a small grateful smile in return.

 

“Joy deserved better.” Jennie says. Speaking as much to Chaeyoung of her own troubles as she is about Yeir, and the brunette can tell that Chaeyoung knows it.

 

“I’m glad she’d made a good life for herself.” Chaeyoung says, knowing how hard it was for Joy to start a new life.

 

“Me too.” Jisoo said, glancing at the phone in her hand and wincing. “I should warn her that she might have to see him soon.”

 

“What?” Euane asks from the kitchen.

 

Jisoo winces again. “I may have invited Suho home for Christmas, and he actually replied to the email this time. I think he’s actually coming.”

 

“That’s great news, right?” No matter what he’s done, Jennie knows seeing her son would mean the world to Eunae and sure enough, her eyes glisten with the threat of tears.

 

“I’m so glad.”

 

“Careful, mom. He might back out and make some excuse.”

 

“I’m sure he’ll come, Eunae.” Jennie said, reassuringly. “It’s going to be a good christmas.”

 

“I guess so.”

 

Jennie glances quickly at Chaeyoung, catching her trying to hide a bitter frown. Was she upset she might need to see Suho again? No, that can’t be right… The brunette studies her expression a little closer before the taller girl can return her face to its steady neutral.

 

No…

 

Could she…

 

Could she be jealous?

 

---------------------------

 

The following day, Jennie takes an afternoon walk into town to run some errands for Eunae. It also serves the purpose of her re-familiarizing with the town, there were a couple of new stores and most of the family owned ones still remained, the streets and storefronts were decorated with Christmas items and lights. She took note to come here at night to enjoy the lights before she left.

 

As she walks down the quiet country road, her thoughts are consumed with Chaeyoung.

 

The taller girl left quickly last night to make sure Evie got to bed on time, leaving so much unsaid between them. Was she really jealous that Jennie was excited to see Suho? Or was she just imagining things? If she was right… would it matter?

 

In some ways, Chaeyoung has always felt like the one that got away. In high school the taller girl was the embodiment of the charming bad girl, and she had the motorcycle and leather jacket to match. Jennie and her… they had chemistry, potential. But Byeol was the smart choice. The safe choice.

 

She has to admit she often thinks that maybe if she had taken a chance on the taller girl, they’d both be happy now. Maybe Chaeyoung would never have cheated on her like Byeol did, and Jennie would never walk out on her and Evie.

 

Her chest aches with a grief over what might have been.

 

Yes, Byeol gave her Gabriel and Jennie would never regret him but the thought of what could have been really did hurt.

 

At least they can support each other now.

 

Sighing and getting rid of her the thought she continued on her way to the store. As if sensing how hard it has been for Jennie to get into the holiday spirit, her mother-in-law gave her an important task-- Christmas shopping.

 

She crosses the street and ducks into an old toy shop. She always loved this place when she was a kid. It was hard to believe it was still open even after all this time.

 

The brunette browses the shelves where festive toys have been carefully arranged, she wonders if maybe she should get something for Evie. As she looks for what to buy a teddy with a matching ornament catches her eye. It was a classic brown fluffy bear with a santa hat on top and a small version of it to use as an ornament for the christmas tree.

 

Perfect.

 

She would make sure to make this Christmas the best one.