A day with her

The beeping sound created by the cars that were passing by was the only thing the brunette could ever hear when she passed right through the sidewalk. 

She was slowly walking, trying to not accidentally slip on the frosty sidewalk, because that would be too embarrassing if she does and she doesn’t want that. Nobody wants to embarrass themselves to random people on the sidewalk.

She smiles softly at herself as she walks by on the sidewalk silently. It's been three years since she left Amsterdam, and it would be a lie if the brunette didn't miss the atmosphere around here. 

Jisoo shivered slightly, rubbing both of her hands together, and looked around to find some place to warm herself. She cursed at herself for not bringing gloves with her, and now her hands wouldn't stop shaking in coldness.

Her face starts to lit up when she sees an unfamiliar church, so she made her way there. People from the church wouldn't mind her sneaking in and warming herself right? Yeah, they're good people. They wouldn’t kick her out.

Soon, Jisoo's smile starts to disappear slowly when she realises and fully recognizes the church. She paused at her track, waiting outside, only staring at the church that is in front of her. Oh.

The church was filled with the smell of dying flowers and Jisoo hates flowers. Well, she used to. 

The brunette couldn't help, but to her lips, sighing deeply as she looked down at her feet. She paused, shutting both of her eyes tightly. Later on, she sighed once last time before lifting up her head, reminding herself that the incident happened years ago and there is no point in going back to those years, though she deeply regrets it.

In bravery, she walked in, and she was right. The church was very warm when she entered. On days like this, it would be hard to concentrate on the priest's sermons, because of the warmness mixed with the coldness. 

"Oh hello there dear," A nun approached and Jisoo bows in respect with a smile on her lips.

"Hello,"

Jisoo proceeds to walk through the aisle. The church was very quiet and she could see a few people closing its own eyes, clasping both of their hands together as they prayed sincerely to God.

Jisoo smiles softly, taking a seat, not far away from the altar. 

"Jisoo, do you take Chaeyoung to be your lawful wife to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness, and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her so long as you both shall live?"

Jisoo flashes a cheeky grin, "I do."

Sighing softly as she looks at the altar. She couldn't help, but to both her bottom lip, and bit it softly to stop herself from tearing up and in bitterness. She's here for warmth, why did she get this instead?

"Good morning," 

Flashing a cheeky smile, Jisoo wrapped her arms at the strawberry blonde's waist and placed her own chin at Chaeyoung's shoulder. She pouts, no response from the strawberry blonde, so she starts peppering soft kisses at the blonde's cheeks making the blonde go breaking a chuckle.

"Good morning, Jisoo." She giggles.

"Do you want me to help you cook?" 

The brunette smile grew more when Chaeyoung smiles at her, her eyes turning to the little crescent moon that Jisoo absolutely adores, "It's okay, baby, I can handle  it," Chaeyoung says and planted a small peck on her girlfriend's lips.

"Okay."

How long has it been again? Two years? Three years? Jisoo doesn't know, but she's sure it felt like a century already. 

"Jisoo! That tickles!" The strawberry blonde starts to push the brunette's hands away, but Jisoo was persistent. 

"Jisoo! Stop!" 

"No uh! Not today, you were a bad girl." Jisoo teased, tickling Chaeyoung more. 

"Yah! Stop! I have given up already!" 

Jisoo giggled, immediately stopping, and flashed a smirk at the strawberry blonde. 

Chaeyoung's hair was now messed up. It looked like a storm just passed by on her hair, unlike before. Chaeyoung was still feeling giddy, but later on pouted at the brunette.

"I hate you," She murmured softly, teasingly rolling her eyes at the brunette.

Jisoo flashed her infamous cheeky grin before leaning closer to plant a small kiss, washing Chaeyoung pouting lips away.

"I love you too."

Jisoo shakes her head, shooing away the thoughts out of her head. Years have passed, but those memories she has spent with the strawberry blonde is still fresh on her mind. Funny.

Today was the day.

The day she'll finally ask the strawberry blonde's hand with the help of Lisa, her best friend.

"Thank you, Lis." 

"Anything for the both of you, Soo. Now, get your girl!"

Jisoo smiled, nodding her head before she ended the call. Tapping her feet on the floor, she couldn't wait to ask the strawberry blonde to ask for her hand. 

Today, she called Chaeyoung to come to this certain destination. With a lot of flowers on the side, small balloons, and some of their films taken by each other. 

It was cliche, but Jisoo doesn't mind about that right now. Chaeyoung has always loved cliche stuff, especially chick flick movies and things.

Jisoo wasn't the type to put up a grand gesture, but today was an exception. Sure, she had surprised Chaeyoung before on their first anniversary, but around that time, it was only balloons and cakes and today is different, because Jisoo is surprising Chaeyoung today, but this time, with a ring on her hand. 

At the sound of the bell, Jisoo knew that was her cue. She nervously stood up from the chair, waiting for the blonde to come into their living room.

"Surprise!" Jisoo yelled through the living room, when she saw the strawberry blonde and startling Chaeyoung in the process who's a few steps away from her.

Chaeyoung gasped, widening her eyes at the brunette, and Jisoo grinned, knowing she's the cause of it.

Jisoo breathes out, her lips, then looking straight at her girlfriend's colored hazel orbs, "Chaeyoung, I don't want to make my speech long, because I couldn't really wait to ask for your hand in marriage, but you know..." The brunette chuckles at herself, looking down, then looking up to meet the teary eyes of the strawberry blonde.

"Before I met you, I didn't really have a home. When I say home, not the house that we live in, and I really thought I'm not going to find it until I met you. Chaeyoung, you make me feel safe, you are my home, and I wanted to ask you, will you marry me?" 

"Oh,"

Jisoo snapped at her thoughts, looking up, and found the colored Hazel eyes that she's been longing for years.

"Jisoo."

"Chaeyoung,"

Both of them have mentioned each other’s names and were only staring at each other's eyes. Not daring to speak any word between them, until the brunette fakes a cough before looking away.

"Hey..." Jisoo breathes out, offering a soft smile to the blonde. 

"Hey." Chaeyoung smiles in response then points at the seat beside Jisoo.

"Can I sit here?"

"Sure."

"Chaeyoung," Jisoo calls out, "Would you like to dance with me?" She asked, holding her hand out to her.

Jisoo could see how Chaeyoung looked at her weirdly and bit her bottom lip as she tried to hold back the laughter that was trying to break out from her lips. 

Jisoo's smile grew more and wiggled her eyebrows like a dork at Chaeyoung. The strawberry blonde nodded her head, the chuckle that Chaeyoung was holding back was now later on revealed, "Yes. I'll dance with you." 

Jisoo broke into soft laughter as she took Chaeyoung in her arms in happiness. In a heartbeat, they fell in step, letting the rhythm control their movements. 

"Remind me again why are we dancing in my kitchen?"

"Because you love me?" 

Jisoo could see at the corner of her eyes, Chaeyoung rolled her eyes teasingly at her.

"You're such a cheesy dude, Soo."

"You love this cheesy dude. Chae." 

"I do." Chaeyoung murmured.

Jisoo was beyond happiness. Letting out a soft squeal as she hugs the strawberry blonde tighter and continues to dance. What they were doing right now was nothing special, just a random thing they would do at random times in random places.

Jisoo reaches out her hand and brushes it across the blonde's cheeks. What did she do to deserve this kind angel? 

Perhaps she did something good in her life like save a kid, perhaps. 

Chaeyoung closed her eyes when she felt the delicate touch of the brunette. Leaning closer to Jisoo's chest, Chaeyoung wrapped her arms around the brunette's neck as her strawberry blonde locks fell over her eyes. 

Jisoo giggles, tucking it in the blonde's ear, then leaned closer to kiss the top of Chaeyoung's head.

"I love you,"

"I love you."

"So what makes you come here in Amsterdam?" 

Jisoo glanced at her side, meeting the blonde's eyes then shifted it in front of her.

"Work," 

Chaeyoung nods at that, "Must be tiring to travel around the world, don't you think?"

Jisoo nods, "It is..." She trails off, not liking the sudden atmosphere that engulfed them, "How about you? What made you come to Amsterdam?"

Jisoo turned her body slightly to the blonde, waiting for a response, "Well. I have a client here... I guess," Chaeyoung laughs softly.

"That's good." 

Jisoo chuckles at the strawberry blonde's words and Chaeyoung did the same. Though, both of them didn't know why they were chuckling in the first place.

“How did you end up here?”

Jisoo shrugs, “I forgot my gloves and passed by here. How about you?”

Chaeyoung hesitated to answer at first, but later on flashed a smile, “I got cold too.” Jisoo nods her head at her though she’s stealing glances secretly from time to time. Chaeyoung’s features didn’t really change much compared to before. She was still blonde, plump lips, and chipmunk cheeks that Jisoo adores with all of her heart.

Minutes passed, silence was once again eating them alive. Both of them didn't dare to say anything, so they just stared at the thing that they think the most interesting is: The Altar.

The time has come. Finally, finally, finally. She's going to marry her. Jisoo is going to marry Chaeyoung in the Altar, in the church, in Amsterdam with their family watching both of their daughters share a vow in front of them. 

Their wedding wasn't that big, it wasn't that grand like how in the movies either, it was just a simple wedding, simple decoration, and Jisoo doesn't care. They were not that rich enough to afford that kind of wedding. 

Flowers have surrounded the church and Jisoo used to hate the smell of it, but she doesn't anymore. Not when Chaeyoung taught her to love the things she used to hate before. 

A gasp echoed around the church, the music stopped, and all their guests' heads turned to face the far end of the walk. The opening to the bridal chorus started to play. Down the aisle, Chaeyoung came. 

Jisoo swore she could feel her eyes are starting to get teary at the sight.

The dress wasn't that grand either, their dress wasn't that grand. It was just a simple white dress, but Chaeyoung made it scream like it was made from Saint Laurent's. 

She wore a strapless wedding gown with embroidery on her waist. Her lips were red, her make up was light, and most importantly, her hair was down, like a waterfall streaming naturally. Chaeyoung was looking back at Jisoo with unexplainable emotion plastered on her eyes, but Jisoo didn't notice as she was too overwhelmed in happiness. 

"I love you..." Jisoo mouthed and Chaeyoung smiled.

"I love you too."

Chaeyoung held her white roses bouquet while Mr. Park, Jisoo's soon to be father-in-law held Chaeyoung's left arm and smiled at Jisoo as Chaeyong and him reached the altar.

"Take care of my daughter, Jisoo."

Chaeyoung hummed, "Dad is fine." She murmured, "He's doing great actually. Healthy you know..." 

Jisoo hummed as well, nodding her head, "That's good. I'm glad he's okay." She smiles a little.

Chaeyoung nodded her head as well, not daring to speak any further. Later on, before they knew, silence had swallowed them, again. The atmosphere between them was thick and no one dared to say any words.

"How long are you going to stay here in Amsterdam?" 

"Only one day," Jisoo says, "So you're leaving tomorrow?" Jisoo nods.

"I am," 

Chaeyoung purses her lips, nodding before looking away. 

"How is Grandma Kim?" 

"She passed away."

Chaeyoung whipped her head at the side and widened her eyes at Jisoo, "What?" She asks, not daring to believe.

Jisoo chuckles sadly, nodding her head.

"When?"

"I'm tired."

Jisoo widens her eyes for a moment at her girlfriend. Staring as she paused, but later on released an awkward laugh.

"Then rest." She says, reaching out to tuck the bangs of her girlfriend, but Chaeyoung did not flinch. Only sparing a tired gaze on the brunette.

"Jisoo--"

"You just need some rest, Chae--"

"I don't need rest!" Chaeyoung yelled.

Jisoo flinched, freezing on her spot as she stared wide-eyed at the strawberry blonde. Chaeyoung's shoulders were slumped and something inside Jisoo tells that Chaeyoung is not physically tired nor mentally. 

Chaeyoung is tired of Jisoo.

"Then what do you need?" Jisoo asked, softly, attempting to reach out once again to caress, but only to get her hand slapped away by Chaeyoung.

"I..." She trails off, releasing a deep sigh. Moving her gaze at the brunette then back to her fingers that kept fidgeting, "I need air." She whispered. Standing up from the couch.

"Chaeyoung," Jisoo calls out.

"No, don't. Not this time, please..." She pleaded, "I'm tired. I need air." With that said, Chaeyoung left Jisoo alone in the house, on their couch. Chaeyoung has left her.

Jisoo wanted to follow her. She wanted to follow her. Ask her, "What's wrong?", and maybe comfort her, and try to solve the problems together. She wanted to do that, but her legs aren't moving. It was as if she was glued to the couch as she heard her heart slowly breaking to pieces. What was wrong?

The next day came, Chaeyoung pretended that yesterday didn't happen. Jisoo didn't bring it up as she doesn't want to ruin their special day. Their wedding day. The only hope to save their relationship. Chaeyoung was beaming in happiness and Jisoo wanted to believe everything was fine.

But she knew, deep down, something is wrong, but she chooses to not mind it. Chaeyoung is tired, not of her. She's just tired of work, yes work. 

"The day you left me, she left me too." Jisoo whispered, biting her bottom lip, and smiled softly at Chaeyoung. 

Chaeyoung looked at her, her eyes filling up with tears at what Jisoo had told her about Grandma Kim. Jisoo and her grandmother were very much close to each other since Jisoo was a child. Jisoo is always talking about her grandmother nonstop that it made the strawberry blonde to be attached to her Grandmother too. 

"I'm sorry..." Chaeyoung whispered, her tears streaming down on her cheeks and hugged Jisoo while sitting.

"I'm sorry, Jisoo." She murmured once again, patting the brunette's head as she embraced the brunette tightly.

"I miss her, Chaeyoung... I miss her so much..." Jisoo murmured, relaxing on the strawberry blonde's embrace.

Chaeyoung nodded her head and was silent. Not knowing what to say, so she only caressed and drew small circles on the brunette's shoulder. 

"I miss her..."

"I know you do."

Chaeyoung wiped her own tears, sobbing softly, and patted Jisoo's shoulders.

Silence soon engulfed them. Two didn't break the position and only stayed at that position for a moment. As they stayed in that position, they couldn't help to ask themselves. How did it come to this? 

"Hey Chaeyoung..."

Chaeyoung hummed, "Do you remember the time we were picking out our own wedding dresses?" 

Chaeyoung chuckles, "Do you mean the time where you got jumped by a cockroach?" 

Jisoo rolled her eyes at what the strawberry blonde said and only leaned closer to her embrace. The brunette secretly misses the warmth. 

"Hey Chaeyoung..."

"Hmm?"

"Where did we go wrong?" She softly asks, gripping tightly on her other hand.

"Jisoo, do you take Chaeyoung to be your lawful wife to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness, and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her so long as you both shall live?"

Jisoo flashes a cheeky grin, "I do."

The priest nodded his head, shifting his gaze at the other bride.

"Chaeyoung, do you take Jisoo to be your lawful wife to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness, and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her so long as you both shall live?"

Jisoo looks at Chaeyoung expectantly. Her eyes glistened in happiness as she waited at the blonde who looked down, not answering yet. 

"I..." She trails off, finally looking up, and Jisoo widened her eyes at the sight, "I'm sorry... I can't marry you."

Before Jisoo could move, gasps filled the church as Chaeyoung ran away from the Altar. Leaving Jisoo alone in her white dress in the Altar. 

Everything was in slow motion. Jisoo could hear her heart breaking to small pieces as her eyes followed Chaeyoung's figure who ran away. She wanted to run, ask her what's wrong, ask her why won't she marry Jisoo. The brunette wanted to do that, but she couldn't as she only froze on her position, watching the love of her life leaving the altar, leaving her alone in the altar. 

"I don't know," Chaeyoung sadly smiles.

Jisoo releases a deep sigh, looking down as she looks at her fidgeted fingers. Chaeyoung looked away, "You know..." Jisoo starts, moving her body to face Chaeyoung.

"Ever since that day, I've always wondered why you left me..." She murmurs, “I’ve always wanted to talk to you about it, form some closure between us perhaps, but you didn’t give me the chance." 

Seeing how silent Chaeyoung is, Jisoo continues, smiling between her quivering lips, "Don't you think I deserve some closure, Chaeyoung?" A tear finally escaped on her eyes.

Chaeyoung looks at her, her eyes full of tears. God, she felt so suffocated at this moment, and the painful lump that is forming on is not helping.

"I'm sorry..." Chaeyoung says, letting her tears finally fall, "I'm sorry, Jisoo... I got tired," 

"I'm sorry that I disappeared..."

"I'm sorry that I didn't get to protect you and comfort..." She trails off, wiping her tears, but it wouldn't stop, "I just feel so scared of everything, because I couldn't find you."

"I gave you everything. I gave you everything, Jisoo, but I just couldn't do it anymore around that time... I don't have the strength anymore..." Chaeyoung said, looking down as she sobbed painfully. She reached out to hold Jisoo's hands on hers and looked up, "I'm sorry that I hurt you, Jisoo..."

The painful sight of her ex-lover breaking down in a heartbeat. Jisoo couldn't stop, but to breakdown as well. 

"I'm sorry too..." Jisoo says, reaching out to caress the strawberry blonde's cheek, "I'm sorry that I wasn't there with you when you needed someone. I'm sorry that I wasn't there on your side when you needed someone to hold on. I'm sorry that I didn't get to protect you," Jisoo was painfully sobbing as well, and continues, "I want to be there... I really do, but I wasn't..." Her voice cracked, sobbing softly as she distance her touch away from Chaeyoung and sobbed.

"I want to save you, save us, but I was too late, and I'm sorry..."

Jisoo bit her bottom lip hard as she tightly formed her hands to fist and gripped it tightly. Chaeyoung was sighing, her eyes turning to puffy, and leaned closer to embrace the brunette in her arms. Jisoo leans closer to the embrace as she cries hard.

Chaeyoung was silently crying as well and since then, nobody dared to break the silence that was building between them when they were done crying. Jisoo was still sniffling on Chaeyoung's embrace and Chaeyoung was only drawing soft circles on her shoulder.

"I look horrible," Chaeyoung commented, distancing herself away from Jisoo.

Jisoo chuckled before her face turned to a serious one. She her bottom lip and gathered the courage to hold the strawberry blonde's hand and gave it a light squeeze. Chaeyoung turned her attention, "I want you to be happy, Chaeyoung. If you're happy, then I'm happy."

"I want you to be happy, too."

Jisoo smiles, sighing deeply and reaching out to cup the strawberry blonde's cheeks in her palms. Sighing in content, "I want you to know that I forgive you."

Chaeyoung smiled, reaching out to touch Jisoo's hand, "And I forgive you too." She smiles at her sweetly.

Both smiled in satisfaction, at that time, Jisoo knew she was still in love with Chaeyoung. It will always be Chaeyoung no matter what happens, but right now is not the right time to confess her feelings, though she has a plan in the future. What matters right now is that she's going to take everything slow with Chaeyoung.

She was thankful for Chaeyoung giving both of them a chance to have a closure between them. She smiles at herself, maybe cancelling all of her schedules for a week and following Lisa’s advice to go to Amsterdam to have closure with Chaeyoug isn’t bad afterall.