It's not living (if it's not with you)- The 1975 

It's not living (Part 1) 

If it's not with you (Part 2)

(Yes, I'm so witty with the title right? Haha) 

--

"Why are you following us?" A venomous voice said, made Suzy jump from her seat and clutch her chest at the sudden voice. She turned around to face the owner of the voice and the hard, cold gaze greeted her. She stood up straight and matched the girl's stare when she recognized who's standing in front of her. Roseanne Park. 

"I ain't following you, I'm watching the game." she tried to reason, it's half truth though. She's really watching the archery game.

The girl in front of her, shot her eyebrow up. "Really?" mocking tone. 

"Yes." she avoided the girl's eyes. 

"Come with me, let's talk somewhere private." The girl did not wait for her response and stalk away. Suzy sighed and followed the girl. She can't run away, and maybe it's about time to go near her. 

After months of watching her from afar, she won't let this opportunity go. 

They settled at the bench in front of the soccer field. 

"I'll go straight to the point, Bae Suzy." She was shocked how the girl knew her name and it amused her. "It's quite tiring how your men have been following us for months now. They're the worst. They can't even try to be a district. And I know what your intention was." 

"And if you knew my intention then you already knew that I mean no harm to her. I just want to know and be close to her." That's all she wants. She wants to fulfill the last wish of her grandmother. 

"Yeah, but I want you to stop doing it. It's creepy knowing there's people following you around. And she's a scaredy cat, if she knew there's someone following her she'll be anxious about it. So pull your men out." Suzy sighed and nodded later on.

The girl stood up. "And if you want to get close to her, I'll help you as long as you promise me that your family won't touch her." And starting to walk away.

"Okay, I promise." Suzy agreed. That went on better than she expected. And this Roseanne Park was really intelligent, just like the report.

And to her surprise Roseanne had been true to her words. She met up with Irene Bae, her cousin, the first week after their sudden talk.

At first awkward is understandable to describe the first hour of the meet up, she was glad that Roseanne was there to crack the awkwardness. Few talks, a heavy atmosphere and they fell into comfort. She was glad that Irene Unnie was surrounded by the people who love and protect her. She's glad that she's happy after everything. 

They agreed to keep everything secret for now. 

---

Suzy was nineteen when she first saw Rosie. She's visiting her cousin, Irene at her school, waiting at the soccer field, sitting at the bench and watching the players practicing but what caught her attention was the girl, back facing her, wearing a jersey number 11 with R. Park written on it. Hands on her sides and with the way the girl stands with such dominance whilst talking to her coach, Suzy assumed. And she was so confused because it felt like she was familiar with the person but she shrugged it off. 

She intently watches, waiting for the girl to turn around but when the girl is about to turn around someone jumps in front of her. And Suzy swore she almost got a heart attack right there and then.

"Unnie!" She yelped, the moment she saw Irene grinning in front of her, and Roseanne smirking.

"You're such a grandma." Roseanne teased, rolling her eyes as respond.

"In my defense we called you for nth time but you're occupied watching the game or perhaps a certain player." Irene remark.

She frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about, Unnie.", The two settled beside her with an annoying smirk on their faces.

"Don't try to deny it. You're eyeing the player number 11." Roseanne said amused, Suzy frown deepened at the tone of the former.

"Was just curious because she hasn't played just like her teammates. That's it." 

"She's about to play, and I'll tell you she's good." Roseanne smirked at her, made her crease her forehead. Suzy opened to ask but she stopped when she saw the girl entering the field. And her jaw dropped when she saw the player's face.

She looked at the girl beside her, and the girl at the field. And Roseanne and Irene laughed at her reaction.

The girl wearing her jersey was looking exactly like Roseanne.

What kind of sorcery is this?

"Based on your reaction you didn't know that I have a twin sister." Roseanne chuckled.

They're twins?

What the hell did I not know?

It wasn't on the documents my source gave me.

"I--" Suzy stutters.

"Your men . How can they leave out important details about me?" Roseanne mocked her. Those men are getting fired.

Suzy tsk-ed, and the girls beside laughed at her embarrassment.

They watched the game for a little bit, and God, Suzy could only be amazed at the girl, Roseanne's twin. She's a good player. She's tall like her twin, beautiful like Roseanne but there's something about Rosie that she finds more alluring especially when she can see the focus and seriousness of the girl. She's endearing and pleasing to watch. But when the girl's sweat was all over her body, that's when she lost it. Her jersey was drenched, and Suzy still finds her so pretty and y. Yes, y because there's a time she could see a peek of the girl's abs.

Her train of thoughts stopped when Roseanne, being annoying, snapped in front of her. Calling her out from drooling over her twin. Suzy's face heated up because she got caught and she can't deny it.

Ever since that day. Rosie has been occupying Suzy's thoughts. She even stalked the girl's social media accounts, even saved some of her pictures. And yes, Suzy got it bad for someone she hasn't met yet.

She could only check the girl's accounts even if Roseanne told her that she can introduce her to Rosie, but she refused for a reason that she's fine watching her from afar and it's just a tiny crush.

---

It's been years since she first saw her and Suzy can't believe that she survived those years just by watching her. She was set that it's just a crush but everytime she learned something new about Rosie, she got drawn to her so bad. 

Roseanne was her main source when it comes to something related to Rosie. The girl loves to tortured her. Sending pictures of Rosie, when the girl is sleeping, eating, studying or anything that she can use. Sometimes Suzy thought that Roseanne was pimping her twin to her but the said girl just laughed at her. 

But the annoying thing Roseanne did was when she teaching Rosie to flirt with anyone. 

"Stop teaching your twin to flirt." She hissed. 

"Nah, uh-uh." 

"Seriously, stop it. She's getting so good at it and it's annoying." Because she heard that Rosie has gone on dates, too many dates for her liking. 

"Well, I taught her so well then." Roseanne grinned. 

"She's becoming a playgirl." Suzy pointed out. 

"Then do something about it. God, you're so hopeless. Pining over my twin for years." 

Suzy glared at Roseanne. "Shut it." 

"Suzy, Coach was looking for you." Her teammate interrupted them, and she bid goodbye to Roseanne.

The game starts and Suzy's eyes wander around, looking for a certain person but she's nowhere to be found. Roseanne already told her that her twin will watch the game. She could see the evil smile of Roseanne from the other side of the court.

She tried to focus on the game even if she's itching to look around the gym, but she denied herself.

It was the 4th set when the girl she's been waiting for arrived at the gym. She pouted when she could see the water dripping from her wet hair, where did she come from? Why is her hair wet?

She tore her gaze from Rosie, because damn she's illegally hot, especially the water dripping to her long legs.

She tapped the ball to gather her focus when she saw Roseanne smirking at her, and that's when Suzy connected the dots. Roseanne, you really are a dirty player. Using your twin to win against me. So evil.

"What the are you guys doing? You can't ing block the ball. You're all useless!" She heard Rosie shout. She could see the grimace of Roseanne's face. She grin a bit. Rosie is indeed interesting. 

She could see Irene and their friends laughing at Rosie's antics, but the latter just rolled her eyes. 

" Shut up, Rosie. Just freaking watch the game." Roseanne retorted. 

"Boo!"

That's what Suzy heard the moment she spiked the ball. She looked at the owner of the voice, and Rosie was looking at her void of any emotion.

Did she just boo-ed me? What the heck? My crush boo-ed me? 

And when the ball landed in, they won. She stood proud and wanted to flex their win to Rosie but the girl rolled her eyes and walked away. 

What the heck was that? 

Did she... really just.. 

She shakes her head, amused at Rosie.

"You've got her attention now." Suzy turned her attention to Roseanne, and she did not noticed walking to her.

"Yeah, a couple of glares and rolling eyes." Suzy snickered.

"Well, at least you got her attention. And she won't forget you now."

"What do you mean?" Her brow shot up.

"She hates it when we lose. So she'll definitely remember you."

Suzy eyes bawled out when realization hits her. "You freaking deliberately lose to me. You ing throw the game." She pointed out.

"My my my, you finally got it." Roseanne laughed at her

"You're so evil." Suzy said.

---

Everything was messed up in the Bae family, Suzy was trying to fix everything the past months. And when everything died down, she, Irene and Roseanne tried to meet up with their friends and cousins to explain everything.

When the dinner happened, they explained everything Suzy could see how some of them were still baffled and confused. But when she looked at the end of the table, she saw Rosie looking at her, beet of red on her fluffy cheeks and looked away again.

Suzy finds it cute when she's embarrassed.

After the dinner, Rosie walked to her. Suzy could hear the loud beating of her heart. She tried to calm it down but to no avail. She's freaking panicking inside. 

"Uhm... Suzy-si--" Rosie stammering. 

"Unnie, you can call me Unnie." Suzy said, so excitedly and fast. What the hell, Suzy? Can you not embarrass yourself? 

"Oh." And then silence fell into them. Until Rosie cleared . And speak. "I just want to say that I'm sorry for how I acted during your game with my twin a few months ago. I didn't know your Irene Unnie's cousin. Now I feel embarrassed." She saw how the taller girl fidgeting her fingers, the tip of her ears are turning red. She's freakingly cute. 

"That's okay. No big deal." That's it, Suzy? That's all you can say? 

Suzy saw how Rosie's lips turned into pout. "Okay. I need to go, Sana's waiting for me. Bye, Suzy U-unnie." and with that Rosie turned her back on Suzy and walked away without waiting for her to speak.

Ever since she learned that Rosie and Sana are in a relationship she tried not to get updated regarding the taller girl. She's avoiding the topic even when Roseanne is trying to bring it out.

And she knew how Roseanne didn't approve of the relationship of her twin right now. She hated it because she knew that Sana was using her twin.

And when she learned about the two having a fall, she tried to be there for Rosie. Even when she's busy with their business she tries to be subtle.

One day Roseanne called her, she's on her meeting that day. But when Roseanne told her that Rosie wasn't home when she supposed to be home after her gym. Then she remembered that today is their anniversary. Something must have happened.