Donghwi was the last one to arrive, dragging a portable cooler with wheels behind him. 

 

He didn’t plan on being late, but it was kind of hard to both just ignore your absent father yelling at you in the kitchen and to continue baking, but even that didn’t last long because his father had decided heading to his flight for his business trip to Malaysia was more important than calling him slurs. Which was a good thing, Donghwi supposed. Depending on how you look at it. 

 

HIs father really only yelled at him for five minutes, but then Donghwi impulsively broke every plate in the house against the wall, only to regret it when his dogs came downstairs and he didn’t want them to cut themselves, so he had to clean up every shard on the floor. 

 

Yeah, he ran a bit late. 

 

“Dude, where were you?” Dongin asked Donghwi, pulling him aside once everyone said hello to one another and made their way down to the forest. “Since when are you late?”

 

Donghwi showed Dongin his fingernails on his right hand, as the other hand was pulling the cooler. He had painted them a glossy black color, with tiny white specs on the pinky nail as well. “Dad spent our weekly five minutes of father-son time being a homophobe,” he said, grinning. “I couldn’t be any happier.”

 

“He-” Dongin grabbed Donghwi’s arm, pulling him in. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” he whispered, not wanting the others here. Just like how Haneul didn’t like talking about his family problems to the group, neither did Donghwi about his father. “You don’t have to tell me the specifics but-”

 

“Dongin, if we don’t drop this topic, I will wreck my father’s car next,” Donghwi said, pulling his arm away. “I’m fine.” 

 

“You’ll what now- Donghwi- ah, ,” Dongin muttered, scratching his head vigorously. He didn’t know what the had happened but unfortunately, it was not the time or place to ask him. “I’m sleeping over today and you can’t stop me.”

 

Donghwi rolled his eyes, not saying anything else, thus ending their conversation. 

 

“So, Daun, on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate Jae I being pathetic?” Baekgyeol asked Daun, walking backwards to see him. Daun was walking beside his brother, Horyeong, the two at the very back of the group. 

 

“Baekgyeol, for the last time, this is an existential crisis party, not a pathetic one,” Dongin said, sighing as he wrapped an arm around Donghwi, the latter not making a comment about the gesture. 

 

“Technically speaking, it could be about him being pathetic,” Uiyeon said, shrugging. “YO! Jae I, aren’t you going to defend yourself?” 

 

“Probably a 2,” Daun spoke up, though he wasn’t really looking at the group, more focused on their surroundings. He hasn’t been in a forest in years, and this forest in Jeju looked like a nice one. “He’s not pathetic, just emotional, but due to toxic masculinity, that’s interpreted differently.” 

 

Baekgyeol opened his mouth to say something back, but came up stumped. “Why do you sound like Hwalchan?”

 

“Dude, just accept defeat at this rate,” Uiyeon said. “That’s because those two have common sense unlike you.”

 

“I have complete common sense,” Baekgyeol argued with him. “At least we aren’t blind like you and Haneul.”

 

“What did Haneul do this time?” Uiyeon said, walking faster so that he can reach Jae I and Haneul, who were ahead of the group, talking to one another. “Haneul! Gyeol is talking again!!”

 

“Uiyeon is so ing dense, man,” Dongin said under his breath. He turned to Hwalchan, who was staring furiously at the pot of soup in his hands. “Hey, Hwal, we weren’t that bad, right? Were we?” 

 

Hwalchan looked up to see him, blinking a couple of times> “I think a little,” he said finally. “You were really puzzling to figure out.” 

 

“I was what now?” Dongin asked. “I thought I was obvious as .” 

 

“Everyone in this friend group is dense,” Donghwi said, sighing as he switched hands to pull the cooler. He had the baked ziti in there, yes, but he had also brought drinks and all types of silverware, no doubt knowing his friends probably forgot how the hell they were going to eat. Disposable silverware, though. Considering he broke the ceramic ones. 

 

“You know, for a guy being dramatic about this party, he’s really quiet.” Donghwi turned to see Horyeong standing next to him, having been drifted from his brother who was now in the middle of an argument between Baekgyeol and Uiyeon. “Is Jae I good?”

 

Donghwi didn’t answer right away, looking to see where Jae I was. “I think he’s burned out,” he said finally. “We all are.”

 

Horyeong nodded, adjusting how he was holding the aluminum tray in his hands so that they didn’t get tired. “Doesn’t help that senior year just started,” he added. 

 

“Yeah, that doesn’t- that doesn’t help at all, no,” Donghwi trailed off, sighing. “We’re going to be all separated afterwards and I’ll be alone.”

 

“You won’t be alone,” Horyeong insisted. “Just have the homies get on the discord chat and there you go, I’m sure this Baekgyeol guy won’t miss a day without threatening you guys.”

 

“Pfft, the homies and discord,” Donghwi muttered, looking at what Horyeong was carrying. “Surprised to see you brought something, did you make it?”

 

“Hmh, oh, this? Yeah, both Daun and I made it,” Horyeong explained. “Though we did get into a fight about it. Not my proudest moment as a brother.”

 

They ended up making both pastas; Horyeong made macaroni salad instead of macaroni and cheese (he did ruin it by adding sour cream again, but somehow Daun was able to fix it by adding some ingredients like mayo, diced ham and cheese, and some other .) Meanwhile, Daun made what looked to appear perfect stuffed shells that he didn’t let Horyeong taste, afraid of him also ruining that dish. 

 

They put both dishes in the same tray, with a divider separating it, and by the time they finally reached the forest, they had been late, but thankfully not the last ones. 

 

“What did you two fight about?” Donghwi asked, stealing a glance of Horyeong. “Who got to stir the sauce?”

 

Horyeong shook his head. “No, more like me admitting that I am jealous of him and Jae I getting closer,” he said in a low voice. “And over what to make, yeah.”

 

Donghwi raised an eye at Horyeong, deciding to ignore that second comment. “Well.” he said finally. “The first step is to being able to admit it, I guess.” 

 

“The first step,” Horyeong muttered. “Aren’t you worried I’m going to murder him or something?”

 

“I mean, guaranteed, this is the perfect time for Jae I to worry about his crush’s brother murdering him,” Donghwi admitted. “But I think he’s more focused on… actually, I don’t know what brought this existential crisis to existence.”

 

Horyeong nodded. “Yeah, we’re high schoolers, I don’t blame him.”

***

 

Technically speaking, the treehouse was already cramped with the usual seven people in it, but since they thought it was a good idea to add two people to the mix, they were going to have to live with it. 

 

They were cramped as hell in there, but the good thing was that there was room to stand up and not hit your head, so no one had to worry about craning their neck or bumping the ceiling while sitting down. 

 

“We have no space thanks to Donghwi and his stupid cooler,” Baekgyeol said, sitting criss-crossed despite practically sitting on Uiyeon’s lap. “You know how small this place is.”

 

“Okay, eat your pasta with your bare hands and no utensils, idiot,” Donghwi said, opening it and pulling out a stack of paper plates. “And no drinks for you, too.”

 

“Oooh, please tell me you brought orange fanta,” Uiyeon asked, sliding Baekgyeol off him and lean forward to Donghwi. “I’m thirsty as -”

 

“Not surprised,” Dongin muttered under his breath. 

 

Haneul, who was sitting on the other side of Uiyeon, leaned his head onto the latter’s shoulder, closing his eyes. He was just glad that he didn’t have to work today. “Me too, pass me a grape fanta.”

 

“You know, you would normally think that there would be alcohol at an existential crisis party,” Horyeong said, setting down the aluminum tray of pasta down in front of him. 

 

Daun gave him a dirty look. “You know we’re all minors, idiot,” he quietly scolded him, raising a hand as if to hit him. “Don’t give a sad person any ideas-”

 

“Jae I is drunk without the alcohol,” Dongin, who was two spots away from Horyeong, said, grabbing one of the two bottles of Sprite that Donghwi had brought, knowing they were for him. “I don’t want to see him with it.”

 

“Hey guys, next time someone wants to cry, we should do meth!” Baekgyeol exclaimed, grabbing one of the plates from Donghwi. “Someone buy it, though, I’m broke.”

 

“We are not doing methamphetamine,” Hwalchan yelled at him. “It can cause confusion, memory loss, extreme anxiety-”

 

“Look’s like I’ve been doing meth without knowing,” Uiyeon muttered, only to yelp seconds later when Haneul punched him. 

 

“I say we do instead,” Dongin suggested, taking out the baked ziti Donghwi had brought. “Please tell me you brought parmesan-”

 

Hwalchan gave Dongin a dirty look. “You’re not seriously contemplating on abusing recreational drugs, right?” 

 

“Baby, it’s a joke,” Dongin said softly, gesturing to the group. “I don’t think we need drugs to have the same effects. Also, I know it wrecks your body, I was in the same health class as you-"

 

“Maybe if I do weed my dad will notice me,” Donghwi mumbled to himself, taking out forks. “Okay, Jae I, tell us about your existential crisis and what brought it into *ahem* existence.”

 

Jae I, who had been quiet for almost the entire time, stared at Donghwi wide-eyed. “What did you say?” he asked. 

 

“Oh god, he already started,” Uiyeon said, pulling Haneul closer to him. Neither of them were looking at each other, though, so they couldn’t see how red the other got. “Why are we having an existential crisis party again, bro?”

 

Jae ! brought his knees closer to his chest (though it was a necessity considering how ing cramped they were). “Have you seen those videos of the planet Earth compared to every other celestial body in the universe?” he whispered. “What are we?”

 

“Have you been watching the universe size comparison videos on youtube again??” Baekgyeol yelled at him. “That gives anyone nightmares, why are you torturing yourself like this?”

 

As soon as he said Youtube, Daun perked up. “Are you talking about the one that shows the black hole NGC 1277 and the Small Magellanic Cloud? I love watching those.”

 

“The Small Magellanic Cloud is 7,000 light years big,” Hwalchan said, serving Dongin some of the soup he made. “But it is still nothing compared to the Bootes Void.”

 

“The what now-” 

 

“MAKE IT STOP!!” Jae I shrieked, covering his face with his hands. “THE CELESTIAL OBJECTS JUST KEEP COMING!! WHEN WILL THE VIDEO END!!”

 

Haneul sat up straighter. “You mean to tell me we are nothing compared to everything else in the universe and we still got to do homework?”

 

“Jae I! It is just a video!” Donghwi screeched at him, but to no avail; Jae I continued to wail. 

 

“Please, Jae I, this isn’t funny, I didn’t come here to experience half of my nightmares again,” Baekgyeol said, grabbing some of Haneul’s lasagna. “I’m going to stuff myself to death now.”

 

“Our death means nothing compared to the vastness of the universe,” Dongin said, taking a sip of the soup Hwalchan gave him. “Oh, , babe, this is delicious-”

 

“I mean, in essence, no, but still think about the butterfly effect,” Daun said, eating some of his stuffed shells. To be honest, he didn’t know what quite to expect at the existential party, but he liked eating food and talking about space, so he was having a blast. “Like that popular theory that World War 2 led to Fifty Shades of Grey-”

 

“I’m sorry, World War 2 led to what now-” Horyeong asked him. 

 

Uiyeon took a sip of his soda. “Doesn’t that involve the theory of the twin towers leading to the fall of Ellen?”

 

“Think of all of the dimensions that exist,” Jae I randomly said. “We only experience three, I guess four if you include how the Fourth is time and whatnot, but scientists predict there to be up to 20,” he added. “I- I can’t major in physics anymore, guys, holy -”

 

“The string theory predicts to 10, I believe,” Hwalchan explained, “but I believe scientists estimate up to 26-”

 

“I need to get drunk now,” Horyeong muttered to himself, though, he had to admit, it was nice to think about the universe and how meaningless they were. 

 

For a few minutes, he was able to forget about back home at Seoul, of Jeju, of Daun,... and Donghwi. 

 

A/N im sorry for the long wait!! like ive mentioned before, ive been dealing with school, work, family, some mental problems etc and it was too much to bear and i stopped everything but im getting back on track now!! honestly writing is a coping mechanism for me and if i leave it ill go insane lol. I really hope you guys liked this chapter!!